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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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I am starting to get better from the illness and had a good start to the day yesterday.  Chel and I bought a double wide and everything seemed to be going ok.  Then I got a call from my dad with lots of bad news.  Now I don't know how to feel.  I am both happy and excited but depressed at the same time.  I guess life is a roller coaster.

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Feeling very apathetic.  Getting tired of everytime I get used to something, someone out there makes an executive decision to change it.  Then I have to get used to an entirely new setup.  This latest transition is really taking a toll on me.

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9 hours ago, Moe Falcon said:

Scary.. they send you a new calendar -every- year! The city usually sends you one for free. Honestly.. It's about time you noticed anyway..<seriously..>

The city never sends you anything free, you pay for it through taxes.

Also, noticed what?

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I surrender. Just that. I have been at war with life since my diagnosis. Intellectually, I understand I am "Terminal". Ok, my new 'normal' is completely -not- my choice or wishes. I cannot do as I used to, period. I look at my house and my personal "upkeep" and see that I require help. I am physically unable to do what needs done. I've been dumped because a lazy bitch-boy couldn't bring himself to 'take care of me'.. he subsequently moved in with a blue-hair old enough to be his new mommy. Good, let her pay your bills and uh, just shut your eyes? I guess playing boyfriend to a hag is it's own reward. (lol) My emotional state is.. insane. I have fought bigger things and walked away laughing. This too shall f'ing pass. I dig deep into spirituality at times such as these and I have well-wishers calling out to their deities of choice. I cannot change this.. So I must go -through- what I can't get around. Fine then, good. "Forward, paddle." ~ Aleister Crowley

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In pain but happy.  Got to spend time with my nieces.  If I disappeared from sight for a little bit, all I heard was Katana yelling uncle? uncle?.  Both she and her sister kept wanting to sit on my lap.  So between helping with dinner, I was a chair for them.  However, between 3 days of cleaning and mopping and trying to sit on the floor with the girls, my back is screwed.  Started as muscle spasms but now, full on pain in the small of my back where the bad disc is.  Time for some heavy duty pain meds.

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