How Are You Feeling?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

23 minutes ago, TronRP said:

Feeling very thankful for this Pet Bed Warmer on my feet right now. 

yay for pet bed warmer!

[TronRP]

1 hour ago, Troy Spiral said:

yay for pet bed warmer!

And I'm feeling much better now...

[sycosis]

I have absolutely no energy

[TronRP]

It feels like there is little sympathy for me.  My body feels broken and exhausted.  I stop moving = I pass out, but my lack of *fill in the blank* had better not interfere with anyone else's routine because then I've let them down (be it 2 legged or 4 legged).

Maybe I'm overreacting, but it's hard to keep going through pain, exhaustion and expectation...

but I'll get over it...

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Shoot me now. Massive rolling headaches, ulcer hurts so bad on and off I have to crawl to the bathroom. (Im guessing that uh... liquid, isnt supposed to be pink. Thats on top of the longest panic attack in history, my bod feels like barely moveable stone. Threw up like 10 times, twice right in the god damn bed instantly after waking up. Im too weak to wash this stuff so i just have to lay sorta 'away from it. Plus the same stupid depression roller coaster keeps hitting me.... Ugh... feel another painful stick in my gut sick comming on... this suuucks.

[TronRP]

7 hours ago, Troy Spiral said:

Shoot me now. Massive rolling headaches, ulcer hurts so bad on and off I have to crawl to the bathroom. (Im guessing that uh... liquid, isnt supposed to be pink. Thats on top of the longest panic attack in history, my bod feels like barely moveable stone. Threw up like 10 times, twice right in the god damn bed instantly after waking up. Im too weak to wash this stuff so i just have to lay sorta 'away from it. Plus the same stupid depression roller coaster keeps hitting me.... Ugh... feel another painful stick in my gut sick comming on... this suuucks.

I read this hours ago, but I was so concerned I felt blank.  Is there no help for you?  Is there anything that can be done to relieve any of these symptoms?  What do you need?

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like I'm gonna put my phone down and go to sleep.

[kat (1)]

Like the ugliest piece of garbage alive. Telling another female your with someone because your desperate? Trying to hook up with a mutual friend trying to bait the person into feeling sorry for you like your a victim? 

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel sleepy 😴

[kat (1)]

On 6/11/2017 at 10:04 AM, TronRP said:

It feels like there is little sympathy for me.  My body feels broken and exhausted.  I stop moving = I pass out, but my lack of *fill in the blank* had better not interfere with anyone else's routine because then I've let them down (be it 2 legged or 4 legged).

Maybe I'm overreacting, but it's hard to keep going through pain, exhaustion and expectation...

but I'll get over it...

Hugs. Get better❤

[kat (1)]

Poor but at peace.

[kat (1)]

Shame. Completely humiliated and now I don't know what mutual friends to trust at this point after the bs I now know. I hate myself for being stupid. I hate everything about the last couple years with that person. I hate my existence. I can't afford to eat or gas it's my fault. I didn't know how to leave and regain my strength and independence. I see no way to fix my situation. People kill themselves over less trouble than this. Why should I even try anymore? No therapy can help, it takes money to actually make money is true. This is my own lack of self worth that allows me to keep trusting and believing that I could be special and loved. At this point all I want to do is fix my mess and forget about the bs but I can't get out of this financial crisis. I need to die and end my path of destruction once and for all. There's nowhere left to turn. It's just maybe what is meant.

[Michael8402]

Feeling grouchy for stupid reasons. This to shall pass. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 6/11/2017 at 10:04 AM, TronRP said:

It feels like there is little sympathy for me.  My body feels broken and exhausted.  I stop moving = I pass out, but my lack of *fill in the blank* had better not interfere with anyone else's routine because then I've let them down (be it 2 legged or 4 legged).

Maybe I'm overreacting, but it's hard to keep going through pain, exhaustion and expectation...

but I'll get over it...

When you are the fixer / Doctor / Caregiver / One that always takes care of things, pepeople start seeing you as just 'they just do that' which is terrible. I try never to take people like you for granted. Beforr the damn accident I had this same issue. Im happy to hel but at the same time some apreciation would be nice. All I can do these days is offer apreciaton , which sucks, but I try to do it. Being on the opposite end of things now and having fully seen both sides I apreciate you more. Many people have been 'dependant' for so long it seems normal. Me Im still in shock how anyone would bother to help, it wasnt like that before. You are strong/energetic  but ppl need to realize you are not an inexaustable resource and that your stock value is much, much higher than they realize.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 6/17/2017 at 5:08 PM, kat said:

Shame. Completely humiliated and now I don't know what mutual friends to trust at this point after the bs I now know. I hate myself for being stupid. I hate everything about the last couple years with that person. I hate my existence. I can't afford to eat or gas it's my fault. I didn't know how to leave and regain my strength and independence. I see no way to fix my situation. People kill themselves over less trouble than this. Why should I even try anymore? No therapy can help, it takes money to actually make money is true. This is my own lack of self worth that allows me to keep trusting and believing that I could be special and loved. At this point all I want to do is fix my mess and forget about the bs but I can't get out of this financial crisis. I need to die and end my path of destruction once and for all. There's nowhere left to turn. It's just maybe what is meant.

Having been there several times (and partly there now) this really sucks. I know its hard to see but there are LOTS of people that really do care I know that for a fact. The problem partly is that many of us are broke/crazy so its hard to offer tangleable help that you can 'put in the bank' so to speak.

Good therapy definitely helps this sort of thing. But its a two way street, you have to belivie that it can work. If you think you can or you think you cant... your right.

We have to unlearn the built in self-doubt , automatic negativity and cognitive distortions. Have to learn to love yourself and not judge yourself, just observe, be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Why? Because you do! Its up to us to value ouselves first. Which can be very hard to learn after a lifetime of self dislike/low self worth.

DBT/CBT is really helpful but you have to do it. The easiest way to do it (the best would be classes but many of us just wont do that) is self-learning apps. Headspace is the one that has had lots if research backing it up but is also the most expensive. 'Aware' is (mostly) free , Clam is the one Im going throuh right now mainly because I like the womans voice but only the part Im doing is free. All of these have good stuff for sleep too.

CBT workbooks have lots of research showing real success with self esteem / depression but they are work. Google CBT Workbook there are tons of options.

Anyhow as always I wish there was a teleporter. Damn geography gets in the way of a lot of life. You can get through this. *hugs*

 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 6/11/2017 at 7:24 PM, TronRP said:

I read this hours ago, but I was so concerned I felt blank.  Is there no help for you?  Is there anything that can be done to relieve any of these symptoms?  What do you need?

Im better now but stll not great. Things are pretty dark. The help for me is to snap out of it. The anxiety/depression are so bad they have been 'converting' into these physical symptoms. I just keep beating myself up for being a broke loser. It seems os superficial but having gone my whole life being a go-getter with zero $ problems it seems damn near impossible (but im still trying) to not just attack myself for now being the exact broke no job scrub I hate. When u cant even afford prescriptions much less anything 'fun' whats the point? Just breathing air isnt ebough. I hardly ever even smile. Not really. Im trying but it doesnt seem to be working anymore.

[TronRP]

Feeling like that was a moot point.

Tried to give myself a break by sleeping in since school just ended for the kids on June 20th and I've been going practically non-stop for the past 3 weeks with Trene physically out of commission.  Yeah, that didn't work because all I ended up with were irate felines looking for their morning meat fix and a kid who took it upon himself to do whatever he wanted because no one was watching.

So forget this!  It's back to business as usual.  I'll rest when the universe deems it necessary.

[TronRP]

I guess the universe deemed it necessary...

Too messed up. I was so exhausted this morning I couldn't even convince myself to get up. If the house had been on fire I would've asked the flames for a couple more minutes.

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like I just ate dinner.

[TronRP]

For some reason I'm feeling a bit nervous.  My brother has some work that needs to be done so I'm going to his place to check on it.  This is stuff I can practically do with my eyes closed, but I think I am worried about making the right impression on his In-laws.  This feeling makes no logical sense.

[TronRP]

Crushed, but slowly getting over it.

Apparently, people can wait an entire month for a stranger who never came back, but can't even give family 24 hours.  Kinda wish I had never answered that phone call.  I got too excited so I should have known something was up.

[phee]

I feel that lying down in traffic and taking a nap would be awesome 

[kat (1)]

8 minutes ago, phee said:

I feel that lying down in traffic and taking a nap would be awesome 

I tried that once....

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like I'm drinking coffee.

[Trene4000]

I feel so betrayed, as if someone struck me in the chest. I want this nausea to go away. Every time I finally decide to fully trust someone, they throw my trust back in my face. This time, after carefully extending my trust to this person, he just completely played me for a fool.