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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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Like a complete & total dumbass for thinking I had another paycheck coming when in fact I didn't.

Dreading asking my mother for a loan.

Bemused that a mean-spirited, judgmental Facebook comment has led to me making a new friend.

Peeved at Breeder Lady who was supposed to pick up the remaining snakelets on Tuesday and is not returning my email.

Even more peeved at the snakelets who still refuse to feed, thus rendering themselves unsellable to anyone else.

I feel like I'm slowly losing it today..

Back in mid July my brother and I went through something EXTREMELY traumatizing to the both of us and it completely turned ours life's upside down. We both are emotionally fucked over this right now and I, myself, suffer from PTSD and I'm almost certain he does as well, though he won't admit to it.

I now know why I haven't slept that much in over a month, why my anxiety is at it's worst right now and why I've been having these horrible flashbacks a million times a day.

So I guess I feel some relief knowing what's been going on with me and that there's something I can do about it but until then I still feel like it will never end.

/sigh

I feel you.

I went through PTSD after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake. I thought I was going crazy... would start crying suddenly for no reason, was terrified to be in a room alone, etc... and I do remember what a relief it was to find out what was wrong with me.

Am here if you need to talk sweetie!

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unbelievable relief.

hopeful for the job interview i have on the 15th (senior facilities officer for the environment agency), the basic wage is 3K a year better off on the same pension scheme.

grateful to the friends that offered help in my moment of panic

missing my wife.

annoyance at co workers overbooking the leave when other people were due to dissapear for maternity/paternity leave.

annoyance that i worked 8am through to 5:30pm and still didn't get much done due to overloading of duties i volunteered for

love for my wife

gratitude towards my parents for being there for myself and angel through the past yearlong rolercoaster

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