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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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I want to cry and throw a lot of things. Charlie just told me his mom would rather I not come down next weekend for my birthday and one year anniversary because with is dad having his broken hip they are very tight on money right now. I totally understand where she is coming from, but it's still hard because I haven't seen him since before Christmas ffs. And he won't be able to come up here till April, so I have to wait another month...*sighs*

Hugs, hon. I am sorry to hear that.

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*sigh*

i remember feeling that way, long, long ago...

(at least i think it was me, it might have been a tv show i was watching!?)

:p

:yes I can relate to that. Seeing some of my friends couple up over the past couple of years, and seeing the resultant giddiness has made me question myself in regards to my lack of even trying. I am feeling like sometimes maybe I am too much business. I am feeling like maybe I have hardened myself too much. I see others that keep trying in the romantic area, and I keep avoiding. I have thought about it a couple times, but did not give it a real effort. I feel that the rare instances I even considered it, I knew it couldn't be for one reason or another, which made it safe to toy with the idea. I am very fortunate to know so many intriguing men that have interest in me, but I rarely allow time in my life to pursue even a date or two, let alone getting to really know them. I feel that I am not lonely, nor am I unhappy, just concerned that given an opportunity for a beautiful relationship, I will be too closed off to even see it, let alone feel it. I feel that once again, my friends actions and TA's words have spurred me to reveal my human side.

I feel I need to get off this computer and get myself and the girls to the zoo ASAP!

I fell I hope everyone has a good weekend. :thumbsup:

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Things are going better today. Mom talked to Charlie about maybe surprising me with money for a hotel room, which prompted Charlie to talk to his mom again. Now I'm allowed to stay there for my birthday weekend. I just have to make them dinner Friday night while Charlie is at work, which I was planning on doing anyway.

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Like I can't get rid of this headache ... so I am stuck awake ... but at least it is QUIET.

My sugar levels have been all over the place. I was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia as a young teen. I developed insulin dependent Gestational Diabetes with two of my four kids. They told me at that time to monitor it because my chances of developing full blown Diabetes in the near future is relatively high. I believe that time has come. 3 days of very high readings for no reason, and who knows what before I noticed it. *sigh* I need to call the doctor on Monday. NOT looking forward to that.

School starts again on Monday. I have enjoyed my week off, but I have been soooooo busy (which is mostly good, to keep my mind off something else from this week).

I feel totally unprepared for a test on Monday and over prepared for a test on Tuesday.

I need to see if I can squeeze some money in the near future budget to get my car in and looked at. The alternator is going bad again -- this will be the second one in 2 years. Something has to be causing it ....

And I hope the IRS straightens out our tax problems soon so we can get the van fixed FINALLY. New engines aren't cheap.

*try to sleep or play the DSi* .... hmm ....

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