How Are You Feeling?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I am feeling quite lonely. after having a companion for 5 years its very hard adjusting to being alone. And its not like before I got married. I actually had a few friends and stuff but now I dont even have that or my granma who passed away a year a a few months ago. The only company I have now are my sock monkeys. I take no comfort in company with my family because they only upset me when I am around them. So I feel utterly alone and it really tares me up. My divorce will be final may 20th. The realization that my marriage is over only makes the loneliness and pain more intense. One of my good friends turned her back on me when I sought her help out. She used to be a nice person but changed into someone different and despite my loyalty, honesty and compassion she threw it all away because of her own issues and I guess it didnt help her and my ex husband had an affair which I forgave her for and so now I sit here online searching for friends, someone to spend time with and possibly a soul mate not that Im in a rush for another man in my life. I just got over being very suicidally depressed and I ODed last month on pain meds in a half assed effort to do myself in. I cant explain in words how much I hurt inside. No matter how I try to cope I cannot rid myself of the grief, sorrow and heartache. Call it wallowing in self pity but if you were in my shoes and experienced the life I have then maybe you would understand and be more compassionate. The Fairy Gothmother always puts on a brave face and soldiers on but truly each day that goes by I feel like Im dying inside and the physical pain that accompanies it only makes it even more agonizing. I always wish to fade away because truth be told I have been torn apart, cheated, and left with nothing. I try filling the gaps and being happy and stuff but it seems like if I do I get condemned for it. I feel so pathetic and I probably am pathetic.

Terrible series of events. I'm sure there is far more too it than a short paragraph can cover. Don't think you are alone in such feelings though of course no two situations are alike. Not that mutual misery necessarily makes it any better. *comfort*

[Rayne]

I feel that I was unaware that youtube has branded Abney Park as "skip-hop" now ... as I tried to show my 7 year old the video many times today and each time, it skipped.

Finally, we suffered through the skipping and replayed it afterwards and it didn't skip.

His new obsession, besides penguins and The Beatles, is now Abney Park.

[Guest Megalicious]

I feel I am sitting at a table with other DGNers =)

[prick]

Very ill and very bored!

[the_fairy_gothmother]

Terrible series of events. I'm sure there is far more too it than a short paragraph can cover. Don't think you are alone in such feelings though of course no two situations are alike. Not that mutual misery necessarily makes it any better. *comfort*

Yeeah I know others suffer too. there is alot more than that short paragraph I could write a book. My troubles started right off the get go from birth. But thing is I guess maybe theres a reason for me to be here. I have been doing alot of soul searching within myself. Im scared to reach out and tell my feelings to others because I dont want to be made a mockery and in my past experience reaching out for help from others only seems to find rejection for one reason or another. But I am here spilling my feelings out whether people wanna know or not. I know I must triumph over this though somehow. I know one thing with all the lemons lifes handing me I need to open a lemonade stand and start selling it lol. I'l charge a fair price too. 10 cents a cup like back in the good old days. Afterall lifes lemons are pretty sour and I dont have much sugar to sweeten them up.

for your kind words.

Edited April 25, 2010 by the_fairy_gothmother

[freydis]

Like its finally my damn weekend!

[creatureofthenyte]

Awake

[phee]

I feel like I will be here for nine hours

[Ice Queen (1)]

Feeling irritated for several reasons. I had to go into work, on my Saturday off, to do "mandatory" updates for training. It is useless for what I do, cost me a Saturday afternoon, and took way longer then they said it would, making me unable to go to Motor City Nightmares Convention. Then, I missed out on the Collective event because my friend didn't make it to pick up my girls like she said. Grrr! My lawn mower died. My house is a mess. I misplaced my schedule and can't schedule my interview or any paid shoots until I find it. All minor things, just irritating. I'm lucky my issues are so trivial, though I work very hard to make it so.

[Guest Megalicious]

Tired. I stayed out late and then came home and studied for 2 hours last night- but it was worth it. I saw people I haven't seen forever and had a good time

[the eternal]

Tired. I stayed out late and then came home and studied for 2 hours last night- but it was worth it. I saw people I haven't seen forever and had a good time

Although, I'm very jealous, bean and I had a yummy steak and potato dinner at home and then we went out to see a play

I got tickets to as part of my Valentine's Day gift to her two months ago.

Then we watched a movie on the Dalai Lama.

It was really nice.

--------

I'm feeling like I need to have Meg's motivation to get my ass in gear.

No way I could've done two hours of work last night.

[Guest Megalicious]

Although, I'm very jealous, bean and I had a yummy steak and potato dinner at home and then we went out to see a play

I got tickets to as part of my Valentine's Day gift to her two months ago.

Then we watched a movie on the Dalai Lama.

It was really nice.

I am feeling happy, that you guys got out and had a good time

[TitsMcGee]

I'm home. Tired from the long drive, but happy that I got see peoples I haven't see in forever. Also very happy Dana and Charlie like the bouquet and boutineers that I made for their handfasting next weekend.

[TygerLili]

I'm home. Tired from the long drive, but happy that I got see peoples I haven't see in forever. Also very happy Dana and Charlie like the bouquet and boutineers that I made for their handfasting next weekend.

Good seeing you and Jynxie, and Megs and Enishi!

I feel like I didn't expect to have a good time last night, but it was lots of fun.

[Guest Megalicious]

I feel like I need some sleep, that will NOT come.

[kat (1)]

Frightened-it was one of them dreams were someone must have been at my door in the dream so I heard knocking and of course, I woke up and went to see who was at my door. Guess who was there? Noone, There is never noone.

Edited April 26, 2010 by kat

[TitsMcGee]

I can't sleep..my heart kinda hurts.

[freydis]

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Isolated. Not sad really just isolated. Feel like some cuddles would be good... or at least maybe some conversation about something other than trivial details that seems to make up 99% of human interaction. The two impulses there are probably at odds with one another. Doh.

Minor annoyance with the lack of consideration for others that seems to be pandemic.

[Guest Megalicious]

Restless in a creative sort of way.

I'm tired as fuck, but my mind will not rest until I find what is that I am looking for. So many boxes to go through... but ... I must continue.

[Guest Megalicious]

Isolated. Not sad really just isolated. Feel like some hugs would be good.

*huge bear hugs for Troy*

[the_fairy_gothmother]

Isolated. Not sad really just isolated. Feel like some cuddles would be good... or at least maybe some conversation about something other than trivial details that seems to make up 99% of human interaction. The two impulses there are probably at odds with one another. Doh.

Minor annoyance with the lack of consideration for others that seems to be pandemic.

Awww huggles! I feel you there. You should see how isolated it is where I live. No neighbors just trees. 20+ years of trres. Its like I been camping all my life. Look out the window and theres trees, walk out the frton door, tree, walk out the back trees. Sometimes I start talking to all my sock monkeys. But then they talk about swinging in trees d'Oh!

[creatureofthenyte]

Awake.. for the same reason as the past 2 days..

[prick]

Im feeling a bit better. Im slowly but surely on the recovery.

[Rev.Reverence]

...like a brilliant dancing flame, in the darkness of the night...

..I guide the weary pilgrims back into the light...

[edit for better colour]

Edited April 26, 2010 by Rev.Reverence