Why is it so hard?

[Fierce Critter]

SG, believe me - there will be a woman out there who will love you for all you are so sure would drive her away.

When I met Jon, he was antisocial, anxious, depressive, aimless and convinced he was a loser.

What I felt I could bring to him was serenity, hope, direction & encouragement - 'cause I could SEE he had great potential.

I stayed calm while he had anxiety attacks and taught him how to breathe his way through them. When he got depressed, I didn't just tell him why things weren't so bad - I showed him. When he felt like he couldn't do anything right, I pointed out all he does well.

I didn't change him - I showed him how good he really, really was already. All I did was point out the strengths he didn't know he had.

There is a woman out there who will do the same for you. I'm sure of it.

I imposed solitude on myself in 1996 after being with one bad person after another. In the time I spent NOT seeking someone, I learned to trust myself, to honor myself, and to treat myself well - and expect the same from someone who might come along. In 1998, Jon did - and the rest is history.

What you say is very true. I was very happy on my own - much happier than I was with the pre-1996 losers.

That period of solitude many view as pathetic, as such a negative. On the contrary. That's the perfect time to look within, to tell yourself how worthy you are of a good life, and to figure out what you need to MAKE your life good - with or without someone else by your side.

It's like Iyanla Van Zandt says on "Starting Over" - "BE a great day." You really can choose to be proactive in enjoying your life - not just wait for the enjoyable to come to YOU.

[TomCat]

:doh Oh, I know why it's hard (For me, anyway), because in a previous life my soul was a mean muthafucka and now I'm paying for it ten fold. I've gotta stop fcking with the Ouija Board... :fear

[Soulrev]

I've had lots of crushes on women, still do, but anymore that's all they'll ever be. I don't even think about asking girls out anymore because it's just not worth it anymore. I've met many who I thought, wow she's really nice, but I never think about saying anything. Sorry ladies but the bitches I've dated before have permanently fucked me up.

[Scary Guy]

FC apparently you don't get what I'm saying.

I'm happy with myself, I just don't really see a point in trying when it will all end anyhow.

[DarkChylde]

Wow what were you on?  I need me some of that lol

Anyhow I addressed the question to Brenda because she started the thread.

FC it doesn't matter what you look like, you could be thin and you would still be the same person you are now.

Solitude is overrated, but it really is better than being with someone who isn't worthy of you and is a complete waste of flesh.

Finding that someone is important (to me at least) because I'm incomplete without her.  We're stuck on this rock for what seems like a minute.  The more time I spend not in eachothers arms the more empty my life is.  I don't have the desire or the drive to do anything and am pretty depressed about everything.  I don't do anything because there really isn't much of a point since I'm just going to fizzle out  of existance anyhow.

There I've found the root of my problem, I'm a depressing human being that is going no where except on the cellular level.  I have no drive to do anything other than waste time until my eventual and inevitable demise.

I don't want anyone's pitty, or sympathy, or empathy.  I guess anything is better than the apathy I'm aflicted with.  Nothing good or bad, just existance.

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I made up the whole story, I was in a goofy mood and thought I brighten up the moment with a bit of comedy lol, if I was on something I dont think ya would want to try it if its something that would lead you to making love to a toxic waste barrel :laughing

[Scary Guy]

Yeah but if it does that it must be some gooooood stuff

[Guest MsMaldoror]

For me, it goes back to 5th grade. I received a chain letter from a friend that was supposed to determine my future with guys. Had I followed the instructions and passed the letter on to 4 other people, I'd have good luck with guys. But, I chose to ignore it and its warning, which fortold of bad luck with guys forever. I've never been one for chain mail, but I wonder if that particular letter has something to do with my current position...

:doh  Oh, I know why it's hard (For me, anyway), because in a previous life my soul was a mean muthafucka and now I'm paying for it ten fold.  I've gotta stop fcking with the Ouija Board... :fear

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[Homicidalheathen]

It is becaue people lie! Couples lie to us as a couple, men lie to me as a single. Women just play games. They don't lie to me so much as they think they are to good for me most of the time.

Think I 'd rather be lied to. Ha. There I go being bitter again.

My life so sucks today I am heart broken because of lies so excuse me.

[Homicidalheathen]

I think you sound sweet. Am I the only girl who has fantasized about having litteral mind blowing sex with spock?

"list all your faults here for all to see"

Didn't I just do this in another thread?

I live at home with my parents.  Probably one of the largest turnoffs ever.

I have a personality and intellect closely resembling Mr. Spock

On top of that I'm usually always quiet and only speak when I have something to say.

I wear coboy garb all the time when I go out.

My two main topics of conversation are computers and music.  Most women can't relate to me on the first level and eventually get bored with the second.

My only job right now is DJing and contrary to popular belief, no one apparently wants to fuck the DJ (not that that's the reason I got into it).

I'm shy, if I am alone it's only because I don't ask anyone out.  I am working on this though.  It is all in the mind.

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[Fierce Critter]

Sorry, SG. Guess I did misunderstand.

You just sounded so lonely/sad, I couldn't stand it.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[Nienna]

Sorry ladies but the bitches I've dated before have permanently fucked me up.

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Yeah... I think I'm permantly damaged now too...

[Soulrev]

well it's true, all of the women I've been with before were back stabbing bitches (I'm not trying to be rude that's the best way I can describe it)..

I don't know where I can find a girl who isn't fucking insane like the past ones.. And do I want to subject myself to that much pain again? I don't think so.

[Scary Guy]

For me, it goes back to 5th grade.  I received a chain letter from a friend that was supposed to determine my future with guys.  Had I followed the instructions and passed the letter on to 4 other people, I'd have good luck with guys.  But, I chose to ignore it and its warning, which fortold of bad luck with guys forever.  I've never been one for chain mail, but I wonder if that particular letter has something to do with my current position...

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MsMaldoror I doubt it, but I don't believe in that type of stuff to begin with.

FC you got it right on the money there, I am lonely/sad, but I'm not sad because I'm alone.

Homicidalheathen I NEVER LIE, I bend the truth where appropriate, but I won't lie completely. Also screwing spock is over rated, you're also not the first woman I've known with a spock fetish.

[Nienna]

well it's true, all of the women I've been with before were back stabbing bitches (I'm not trying to be rude that's the best way I can describe it)..

I don't know where I can find a girl who isn't fucking insane like the past ones.. And do I want to subject myself to that much pain again? I don't think so.

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I know what you mean.. I got tag teamed by lying assholes. I love feeling like a living blowup doll. Makes me feel great!

[TomCat]

I know what you mean.. I got tag teamed by lying assholes. I love feeling like a living blowup doll. Makes me feel great!

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Yeah, I know the feeling. When I was taking it in the rear during my divorce proceedings from my ex, her lawyer, and her BF at the time I was feeling pretty good about life too.

[Nienna]

Yeah, I know the feeling.  When I was taking it in the rear during my divorce proceedings from my ex, her lawyer, and her BF at the time I was feeling pretty good about life too.

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Deception is so terrible.

[TomCat]

Yes, that leads to wasted time, and that is all we really have, when you think of it.

[Nienna]

Yes, that leads to wasted time, and that is all we really have, when you think of it.

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True dat... true.

[TomCat]

For all the trials & tribulations, at least I've reaped some wisdom.

[Nienna]

For all the trials & tribulations, at least I've reaped some wisdom.

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Me too.. unfortunately.. I also became VERY bitter...

[Homicidalheathen]

I am picky. I flirt allot but we don't go out with many people.