Being called antisocial

[Onyx]

I'm really a very social person, but I'm perceived as antisocial by a lot of those around me. I work from a home office so I don't see a lot of people during the day. I do often avoid human contact because I'm in a huge hurry most of the weekdays, so I use ATMs rather than going in the bank, order things online, things like that.

I don't think it's that I'm antisocial, it's just my time is so limited that I want to choose who I am social towards. It irritates me when cashiers want to chat. I had one who commented on almost everything I bought and it drove me nutso. I avoid that one like the plague now. A quick "how are you today" is fine but other than that just get me through the line and let me pay! I always use the self-check out when I can.

OK, maybe I am a bit antisocial. I want to be social with people who interest me, not spend time in long conversations when I am only passing through.

[JaneDead]

i am not anti-social but i think i am sort of selective in who i am social with. i am friendly but i don't want to be "popular" is really what i mean. i like who i know and if/when i meet new people i click with that is good too. i am the person who will sit back and have good conversation with 4-5 people (out of say - a crowd of 30) all night and just say hi to everyone else and a maybe a quick little chat with some others. instead of "hey look everyone here i am the party can now start!! whoo hoo." that is not me, never was, never will be. i don't like to be the center of attention. ever.

i don't think there is anything wrong with being *viewed* as anti-social as long as you are friendly and do talk to people in a social situation like a party or the bar or work. and i don't care if i ever was viewed as anti social but i would never want someone to think i was snobby for not talking. that is not who i am either.

[Daevion]

Could'nt really say, I only talked to you once or twice at CC. Based off what you posted, however, I can see where some people may think your a bit reclusive...not that its a bad thing. I've had many think I was anti-social, and many think the total opposite, who knows and who cares what goes thru peoples brains.

[bellbottoms]

i m one of those VERY social people. i know a ton of people and have a ton of different friends. most people tell me that i come across as being the social butterfly. i don't like to stay put in one place for very long. it has it's advantages and disadvantages. i really don't view myself as the center of attention type but others do. i m more or less don't care what people think of me so i do whatever i want. if that makes me a attention horror i guess i m one

[Daevion]

i m one of those VERY social people.  i know a ton of people and have a ton of different friends.  most people tell me that i come across as being the social butterfly.  i don't like to stay put in one place for very long.  it has it's advantages and disadvantages.  i really don't view myself as the center of attention type but others do.  i m more or less don't care what people think of me so i do whatever i want.  if that makes me a attention horror i guess i m one

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can voach for that , I seem to recall you always being quite the chatterbox.

LOL :grin

[Onyx]

CC is definitely a place I like to be social. All of you are quite interesting Always a good conversation. I always hate to leave and look forward to going back.

[bellbottoms]

LOL @daevion ---- i remember u being very social yourself.

onyx - i think it boils down to it's all bout comfort. u feel comfortable at CC and that is why u want to talk and talk. comfort is a good thing

[Head Wreck]

not wanting to talk to cashier is not antisocial

antisocial would be to grab her by the fringe and smash her head into the till as i've been tempted to do so (albiet i was getting a lecture of the cashier about the evils of alcohol... and that was befor she spotted the 2 bottles of absinthe i had in my cart

[Fierce Critter]

Main Entry: an·ti·so·cial

Pronunciation: "an-ti-'sO-sh&l, "an-"tI-

Function: adjective

Date: 1797

1 : averse to the society of others : UNSOCIABLE

2 : hostile or harmful to organized society; especially : being or marked by behavior deviating sharply from the social norm

- an·ti·so·cial·ly /-sh&-lE/ adverb

Misanthrope

Main Entry: mis·an·thrope

Pronunciation: 'mi-s&n-"thrOp

Function: noun

Etymology: Greek misanthrOpos hating mankind, from misein to hate + anthrOpos human being

Date: 1683

: a person who hates or distrusts mankind

That said...

Jon and I are definitely misanthropes. We're tree-huggers, wildlife lovers, etc. Jon was abused by family & peers through his teens. I've got my own negative experiences with human beings.

But I am still social. Jon, not so much. But I have found that being as isolated as I have been for the past 3 years, I crave contact with other humans (beyond my husband). Mostly, I find it's about input. Without contact from humans, I don't get input - negative or positive - that enlightens me or keeps me thinking.

I love to think. I love to people-watch.

So, I find myself at grocery stores, eyeing the woman next to me, trying to figure out which kind of kitty litter to buy for her new kitten, and starting a 10-minute conversation. Ditto the woman wondering the vitamin content of eggplant. And I find myself on DGN on a regular basis.

I loved going out to parties & clubs in my 20's. I miss it now.

But my comfort zone as far as what kind of people I feel comfortable socializing with is slim. I LOVE CC because I tend to feel more at ease with people outside of the typical/normal/average/whathaveyou. I've always felt more akin to people "on the fringe". Thus my loathing for the gawkers/poseurs/tourists who show up at CC.

In general, I don't trust humans nearly at all. And I don't have time in my life for BS. I thrive on honesty, common sense & logic, and I just don't find enough of that in society as a whole.

If I walk into a Home Depot and I need a particular piece of hardware, and I approach a sales person who responds with, "hmmm... I'm not really sure... let me think..." I'm ready to scream and run away, 'cause I know they're going to lead me on a wild goose chase all over the store - that I could have done ON MY OWN. Please, just tell me, "I'm sorry, I really don't know" so you won't waste my time & footsteps.

And as I've gotten older, I've become more open minded. I have personal, petty prejudices that keep me from being TOTALLY open - but I do my damndest to keep those to myself and not use them as an excuse to hinder someone else's happiness.

I've very much reached a point in my life where, if it's not hurting me directly, why in the world would I be AGAINST something/someone? I am in no way harmed by homosexuals, Jews, (insert religion/sexual preference/etc. here). So why would I want to descriminate against them? Why should I fear what "they" do behind closed doors? Why should I be against "them" being a functional part of society?

Thus, the more narrow-minded people I see each day, the more I hate people. The more I wonder how in the world some people have SO much time on their hands to be able to spend a good part of it interfering in other people's lives.

I can handle myself publicly with manners, politeness, and tact. But my patience for BS over the years has drawn infinitely thin, and I find myself more and more willing to get in the face of someone I see as bigoted, repressive, and overbearing. Thus, I'm actually reclusing MORE in an effort to not let these types inflict themselves on me, and in return, me on them. I don't crave confrontation, so I just try to avoid being where I know it's going to come down.

My husband and I are both quick to cut people out of our lives who don't serve a purpose. Particularly if that person actually becomes toxic or a hinderence in some way. I have no friends left from school, past jobs, etc. Same with Jon, who even recently directly & openly cut ties with his own family. Thank goodness I have a relatively good family, so there's always that unit to save me when I'm really feeling alone.

But that's also why we're so desperate to get back to Michigan.

So, I miss my family. I miss CC. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of you in person. Same with Jon. But other than that, we couldn't care less about people/socializing overall.

[Brenda Starrr]

I'm so damned social, people think that I need a doctor on the rare occasion that I want to be alone....

Maybe I do need help.

[Scary Guy]

I live in my room infront of my computer most of the time and when I'm not here I'm 8 ft away in my bed sleeiping.

I am however a DJ and do a lot of PR work for Mephisto's. It is the job of a PR person to be social and market the "noun" they're representing in a positive light. This forces me to be social.

I'm selectively anti-social because most of humanity is stupid. Still I'll go up to any prep I see and tell them about the club and why they should go. This doesn't mean I want to be their friend, I just want them to go to the bar and spend money on alcohol.

My friends and people who don't sicken me in general I want to go and actually have a good time. Which is basically why I tell the people listed above to go on Fridays.

I used to be extremely anti-social but only because I was overprotected.

[MmeAnaya]

I admit, I am anti-social.

The thing that I find that sucks the most...is being rejected. Yeah, I know, it's LIFE.

Rejection happens everyday.

It sucks and blows all at the same time...

just my two cents....

[soothsayer]

I'm not by nature anti - social but I do like my personal time. I also don't like my personal space to be violated. I can be very talkative with the right people but not with everyone. About the only thing I can say I don't care for are total strangers getting to personal when, for example, I'm buying gas for my car or at some store. I am just there to make a purchase, not get neck deep in a conversation. I want to get in and out a.s.a.p. I think it's fine for others but I really don't want to make friends with every total stranger that says hello. If I go somewhere often enough then talk will develope over time but not in one visit.

[TomCat]

I've never been called anti-social. ever.

[torn asunder]

when you realize that every relationship/friendship is frought with the probability of pain, you start to wonder if people are worth it...

[Guest Megalicious]

when you realize that every relationship/friendship is frought with the probability of pain, you start to wonder if people are worth it...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thats very sad ... but very true ....

[Vater Araignee]

It has been proclaimed at work that "_________ is the most not friendly person here" not true if you are not on my line I simply don't have any thing to do with you. I do have a friend that would be Sinnaminn.

Sad thing is she does not seem to understand that. She thinks I have friends.

Q. Am I a friendly person?

A.Yes.

Q.Will I hang out with you?

A.Q.Are you going some place I already plan to go?

It's not to say I haven't had nor will again have friends, it's just you have to be something special.

Negativich whispers in my ear "select a few hundred deserving individuals and destroy the rest" and I'll have you know he intends me to be in "THE REST".

Fierce Critter you say you are a tree-hugger I hope your not a tree-humper because you get a hash mark so far

[Fierce Critter]

Fierce Critter you say you are a tree-hugger I hope your not a tree-humper because you get a hash mark so far

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nah. The only marks I get from wood are rug burns on my knees when I do Jon from the top on the living room floor.

(OMG - Brenda, I think you're rubbing off on me... OMG - someone can make something dirty out of that, too! AAAAARRRGGGGGGGHHH!!!) :grin

[Brenda Starrr]

Nah. The only marks I get from wood are rug burns on my knees when I do Jon from the top on the living room floor.

(OMG - Brenda, I think you're rubbing off on me... OMG - someone can make something dirty out of that, too!  AAAAARRRGGGGGGGHHH!!!)  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

HA! :woot:

[JaneDead]

i was just thinking about this again today... and if i had to choose between "labeled" anti-social and super social i would rather be considered anti. i know that i am not,i am just more quiet/reserved. the people i know who are SUPER social are usually attention whores and they are annoying. :whistling

[honeymustard02]

I don't waste my time on people who hold no interest to me. It saves time and energy with dealing with other peoples crap.

So what if that makes me anti-social, at least the people I do socialize with are interesting and fun.

[capuchin]

I consider myself to be pretty introverted in general. People don't always think so because in certain contained environment (in a small class or small group of people) I can be talkative, but I don't tend to go out of my way approaching people or being all that outgoing. I also tend to really enjoy time to myself and like being able to work independently, so I don't think I'm very social for the most part....

[Homicidalheathen]

I hate when people tell me to smile. F*ck you! I don't owe anyone the time of day and don't deserve to develope a wrinkle over some guy trying to get his kicks.

I am thought of as anti social and just have a normaly sad expression. I can be in a really good mood and people will keep asking if I am depressed. It's like, no..but if you keep bugging me I will be. And then I shall have to chop your head off.

[soothsayer]

I consider myself to be pretty introverted in general. People don't always think so because in certain contained environment (in a small class or small group of people) I can be talkative, but I don't tend to go out of my way approaching people or being all that outgoing. I also tend to really enjoy time to myself and like being able to work independently, so I don't think I'm very social for the most part....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My thoughts and feelings exactly.

[bean]

I wish I could be more social, but my shyness crosses over into social anxiety land. Whenever I know I'm going to meet someone new, I get an anxiety attack. Talking on the phone with someone new makes me have an anxiety attack as well.

It really stems from me having low self-esteem and automatically thinking the person won't like me or whatever, and I have run across alot of assholes in my life. I hate it. I wish I wasn't like that, but I am.

Oftentimes, I get an anxiety attack on the way to city club, so I drink and get drunk, to ease the anxiety so I actually can meet people, but then I get lost in my own little world, so I don't meet anyone (unless they come up to me). *sigh* I have issues. :blushing