Jump to content

Stupid Cupid

pheramoans
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Posted Images

Guest greyhalo

Guest greyhalo

Posted
Posted

Ditto. All my life... Not stopping now.

Sure, love can hurt, but it can also be the most wonderful experience. I personally feel very lucky to have been in some long-term relationships with great guys. I'm even still friends (or at least on good terms) with most of them. :happy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

Posted
Posted

Sure, love can hurt, but it can also be the most wonderful experience. I personally feel very lucky to have been in some long-term relationships with great guys. I'm even still friends (or at least on good terms) with most of them. :happy:

Love? I was talking about sex and the pursuit of it. :p

Link to comment
Share on other sites
GothicRavenGoddess Contributor

GothicRavenGoddess (3)

Posted
Posted

I finally found it..

I knew there was a song called "Suoid Cupid" :biggrin:

Connie Francis - Stupid Cupid

Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy

I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly

I'm in love and it's a crying shame

And I know that you're the one to blame

Hey hey set me free

Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

I can't do my homework and I can't think straight

I meet him every morning bout half past eight

I'm acting like a lovesick fool

You've even got me carrying his books to school

Hey hey set me free

Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

You messed me up for good right from the very start

Hey go play Robin Hood

With somebody else's heart

You got me jumping like a crazy clown

And I don't feature what your putting down

Since I kissed his loving lips of wine

The thing that bothers me is that I like it fine

Hey hey set me free

Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

You got me jumping like a crazy clown

And I don't feature what your putting down

Since I kissed his loving lips of wine

The thing that bothers me is that I like it fine

Hey hey set me free

Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

Hey hey set me free

Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

(Stupid Cupid)

(Stupid Cupid)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

Posted
Posted

Cupid and I aren't necessarily on speaking terms. He recently took a shot at me bum with his little bow and it wasn't the cutesy romantic experience, that legend and lore would have you believe.

I was smashing up a batch of dough in my kitchen for some sweet onion-rosemary bread. I was just sort of daydreaming as I was going through the kneading motions, and I was sort of humming "Don't you want somebody to love, don't you KNEAD somebody to love." Then I felt this got awful burny, stingy sensation in my right hiney. I reached back and found a big fuckin' arrow dug about 2 inches in. Then I see this little cupid bloke fluttering around the ceiling just sort of looking at me with a hand over his mouth and an "Oh shit, I just shot that dude with one of my bear-hunting arrows." sort of look.

So I turned to face him and said, "What the fuck dude? That's a real goddamn arrow in me bum!"

He just shrugged and said "Sorry man, I grabbed the wrong quiver. It's not a big deal"

"Not a big deal? how am i supposed to sit down with this big fuckin' branch in my ass? This shit hurts!!!"

"Hey man, it was a mistake. There's no reason to whine about it."

"Whine?!?!?! You don't have a pointy stick in your keister."

I was totally pissed about his smug, unsympathetic attitude and threw the dough in his face. It made me laugh when his curly little noggin bounced off the ceiling. He shook his head to get his senses back and started hollering and bellowing at me. That's when I smelled the corvosier and realized he was completely blitzed.

He launched himself at me and cracked his little bow over my head. I just stood there stunned for a second and figured, screw it, I'm beating this arrogant little cock-polisher to the ground.

So I gave him a karate chop in the snout and whipped him into the refrigerator. He retaliated by smashing a bottle of olive oil over my head and throwing me a smack in the mouth. I grabbed him in a bear hug and charged the wall next to the table. He let out a cute little rubber duckie sound when I smashed him into the door frame. He broke out of the bear hug by head-butting me in the nose and then flew over to the counter and dumped a bag of flour over my head. By this time it had become a no-holds-barred brawl. We charged each other and continued to exchange blows, pound for pound. I grabbed him and dipped his little nugget into the hot soapy dishwater. I started laughing again when I saw his stubby little legs kicking and flailing, so I let go of him and he pulled a frying pan out of the water and bonked me across the cranium. I dropped to the floor and he followed after me screaming and swearing in an uncontrollable rage. He tried puttng me in the figure four leg lock, but his stubby legs couldn't wrap around mine. I kicked him off of me and proceeded to open the cabinet door under the sink snd slam his noggin with it. I counted out loud with each blow. he wrestled out of my grip and threw me a wicked eye gouge, which blinded me momentarily. He used that as an excuse to run like a scared little bitch out the side door.

That is a simple lesson on how a peaceful day of breadmaking in your kitchen can turn into a brutal melee with a totally ficticious character.

Do you suppose this means I'll be single for a long time?

I saved the arrow by the way. It has my ass-blood on it.

This didn't really happen. Except for the bread making part.

:rofl: And for whatever reason, my brain is such a disconnect, that out of this ENTIRE huge ass post all I got out of it was you kneading dough wearing a pink apron, and a pink apron wasn't even mentioned in the post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Forum Statistics

    38.9k
    Total Topics
    820.4k
    Total Posts

  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 60 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.

  I accept