Drama character sketch

[taysteewonderbunny]

It's tolerably short, by design. Let me know what you think.

Profile

A woman, rather thick about the middle, 50ish, with overly bleached and very coarse hair, dressed in a top that is too baggy—far too wide in the shoulders and arms—and stretchy pants that are too tight to be flattering is standing in the middle of the stage, fiddling with things about a flimsy computer desk the back of which is facing the audience. A mess of cords spills out the back of the desk. Most of the computer equipment should be feigned, only represented, but there needs to be a real digital camera in the set-up. At first, Jane is lit only by the blue light of the computer screen as she types, fiddles, types. Then she turns on a desk light and the stage lights come on, a localized spot on Jane and dimmer peripheral lighting in which a background of a much cluttered den is visible. But immediately behind Jane is tacked up a solid white curtain. Jane checks her make-up and reapplies lipstick.

Jane: Mmm. Okay. Okay…..Here we go. Wait. No. Okay. Hello, I’m Jane. Plain Jane, sane Jane. Um, no. Start again. How do I….? Oh. Okay.

Welcome to my profile! My name is Jane and I’m looking for Dick. No, no, no. You silly, goose, Jane. Silly, silly girl. Okay. Where are we? There we go. I’m Jane.

[stares at the camera blankly. We see Jane projected on the screen behind her. She nervously reaches for a cigarette and stops the camera. We watch her in real time as she plays back and watches what she has just recorded from ‘go’.]

God, I’m that fat! Okay. Okay. For real now.

[smashes out cigarette in an overfull ashtray.]

Take a breath. [Takes a breath.]

Are you the man I’m looking for? My name is Jane. I’m fun, creative, but disciplined. I have a steady job. I’m looking for a man that is steady, spontaneous and not a creep. Not a creep! Really, Jane. Put that out there first off. Says ‘jilted’. [Types.]

Take four….I am the woman you’ve been waiting for. You want a warm, intelligent lady….

[Affects her voice so that it is lower, purring, cooing, with a jumbled up mix of foreign accents, none of them quite right.]

I am Jas-MEEEN. Glad to meet you. I know you’ve been waiting for a woman like me. I see these things. You want someone who is her own and does not feel diminished lavishing you with the attentions you deserve. I am a very independent woman, but I find myself, in the summer of my life, in need of a companion. You want my companionship. All your life you’ve felt as though you were missing something. I am that something. That spice. That spark. That star by which you have set your life course, but which was not visible until now because your destiny was shrouded from you. Let me pull off that veil and reveal myself. I am your consort. I am your love.

[Pauses, turns head slightly as though listening for something off-stage.]

Let me show you the parts of you that you have never met before. I will unlock for you a future unlike any you have ever imagined.

Let us set out together on our greatest journey. What have you not experienced that you would like to know? Monsoons in India, Paris in spring, sultry effusions of lava from Hawaiian volcanoes, lazy summers drinking in the scenery from our front porch—I’m up for it all. Take my hand, love, and let the world be our snow globe. Shake it up. Take a chance. I am your winning lottery ticket.

I am no angel and I am no saint. I am a spiritual woman and walk on the side of God. Albeit, I have great respect for this opportunity to know this material world intimately, to uncover its charms, and I am considerably comfortable in it.

[As she says this, she adjusts the camera so that more of her cleavage is visible in the shot, but so too is some of the clutter and the ashtray and a nearly empty bottle of booze.]

I am a moderate smoker and a social drinker. I like a party now and then. A chance to dance, to engage in brilliant repartee, to expound breathlessly on the intrinsic nature of the universe and human experience ‘neath a blanket of radiating stars with you as we escape from the noise and the bustle of the soiree.

I don’t care overly much for material things. Between possessions and experience, I prefer experience. Memories and emotional bonds are the only things that belong to us which we can take into the afterlife. Let’s make much of both with the time we have left together. I find that too many things clutters one’s life, one’s mind. We humans are such nervous animals, hoarding things that we believe will complete us. They are only substitutes, fillers for the void that is our unrealized dreams….

[Agitated, too loud and grating to someone off stage whom we do not hear. Accent is abandoned.]

WHAT? WHAT DADDY? Oh, DAMN IT, I’m coming. SHUT UP. Don’t CALL me that…[near tears]. I am NOT.

Jesus, Mary, CHRIST, give me the strength…STOP CUSSING DADDY. PLEASE! I’M COMING. I’M ON MY WAY.

Jane thumps her way off-stage. The camera is still going; the camera shot pulls tight on the set displaying an OCD type collection of things stacked precariously waist high and higher: romance novels, books, magazines, newspapers, dolls, unopened QVC shipments, religious artifacts, medical manuals and equipment, even trash sorted by type of item. Lights dim.

[taysteewonderbunny]

Twenty lookies, no comments. Is it really so bad that everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of hurting my feelings? C'mon. Sock it to me. That IS why I posted, after all. Wimps.

[jynxxxedangel]

I immediately feel pity for this woman, and the emptiness in her life.

[taysteewonderbunny]

I immediately feel pity for this woman.

Me? lol. or Jane? yeah, she's potentially me in 20 years, if you sub "Mom" for "Dad". I was trying to create a sympathetic character, one that would disturbingly remind us a bit of ourselves and what COULD happen if we fail to keep trying to be true to our desires.

[Constantin]

well i have to say i liked it , it starts to pull you in.

so how much do you have planned out for it whats on for the story board is this going to have some intresting datting scenes in it will she try out a male escort. will this take place in michigan or another country details i need details.

[taysteewonderbunny]

well i have to say i liked it , it starts to pull you in.

so how much do you have planned out for it whats on for the story board is this going to have some intresting datting scenes in it will she try out a male escort. will this take place in michigan or another country details i need details.

Um, I was just planning to put her on a shelf and let her fester and die. It was just a sketch. Besides, that was kind of the fate she chose for herself. But, I suppose I might pull her out in another incarnation and use the character elsewhere. Currently, she's a caveat to all of us who are too afraid to see what we might dare.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Is good.

It's good to see you are doing your homework

[prick]

You are so talented but I knew that for a long time now!

[taysteewonderbunny]

You are so talented but I knew that for a long time now!

Thank you, prick. Wanna play Scrabble with me tonight?

[prick]

Thank you, prick. Wanna play Scrabble with me tonight?

Do ya realy want your butt kicked again?

[taysteewonderbunny]

Do ya realy want your butt kicked again?

Oooh. Yea. I kinda do.

[Scales]

Interesting premise.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

OK, I've read it a few times now over the course of the day. There's something about the descriptions of the background that bothers me. I don't know if it's too fussy or not fussy enough, but it bothers me.

Jane's words and (especially) mannerisms are spot-on, however.

[taysteewonderbunny]

OK, I've read it a few times now over the course of the day. There's something about the descriptions of the background that bothers me. I don't know if it's too fussy or not fussy enough, but it bothers me.

Jane's words and (especially) mannerisms are spot-on, however.

What is it? I'll fix.

[TheGimp]

i liked it a lot i did feel a lot of pity for her though she seemed to have alot of problems obviously but other then that great job tasty

[Homicidalheathen]

I liked it...just got a chance to look at it...

[Simon Bar Sinister]

What is it? I'll fix.

I wouldn't worry about fixing anything, especially since I still can't figure out what's bugging me. The character's what's important, and you did an amazing job painting that picture.

update: OK, here's the problem I had. You did such a good job fleshing Jane out that I found a lot of the background description unnecessary. You've seen a bit of my unfinished lyrics, so you've also seen how much I get rid of. I know they're 2 different schools of writing, but I like points to be made with as few words as possible.