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Only in Michigan


DarkVampire

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The Great State of Michigan

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Mich. It is so beautiful here. The

hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak

tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change of seasons.

This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 - Michigan is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real

special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different

colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so

bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some

white tail deer. They are so graceful; certainly they must be the most

peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would

Want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace

and tranquility. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight:

everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is

magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow

from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing.

We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street.

He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out

and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature

in harmony, I love it here!

Dec.

12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little

trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in

time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming down. I've got blisters on my

hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits

around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands

on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him.

And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap?

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside

since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by.

Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to

expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches

is?

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until

the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead

actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken

six already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some

food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the

bastard. It did $5,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be

killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow

into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the

front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old

piece of shit into firewood when I had the chance.

May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole

underside of the car is rusted away fro m all of that damn salt they

dump on

the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit.

May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida. I can't imagine

why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God

forsaken State of Michigan.

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Michigan--the state of beautiful til it kills you.

I dated a woman like that once ... it was great.

...............................................................^

.............................................................not

...you tell 'em Unka'-Tom...

"I know the secret down at Uncle Tom's cabin, I know a secret I just can't tell, I know the secret down at Uncle Tom's cabin, I know who put the body in the wishing well." -Warrant

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I'm actually liking it, aside from getting ill this time. It really is beautiful. And so what I'm always cold and my skin is dry. It's pretty. And it's fun to drive in. And I don't get to experience Arctic weather that often. It's fitting since we've had the blowoff from a couple tropical storms this past summer. A little taste of both extremes in one middling state. Not bad!

Edit to add: it sounds like I'm bitching--I'm really not.

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