Jump to content

20 Worst Places To Wake Up On Saturday Morning


jynxxxedangel

Recommended Posts

The 20 Worst Places To Wake Up On Saturday Morning:

* Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.

* The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.

* Spooning some random dude.

* In a bath tub covered in blood.

* The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.

* The back seat of a stranger’s car.

* In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.

* On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.

* Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.

* Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.

* The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.

* Your parents’ kitchen floor.

* Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.

* The front lawn of the local synagogue.

* Cleveland.

* Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.

* The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.

* The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.

* The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.

* On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.

Where are some of the worst places YOU have woken up? Many of mine are already listed here!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hehe it's worse when you go out on a friday and don't come to until sunday.. :unsure:

Especially when you return wearing the same clothes and makeup you left in. Yup--been there! I call those my Courtney Love weekends! :p I leave looking like a million bucks, and return disguised as a homeless hooker. There's nothing quite like showing up on the back of a motorcycle at ten in the morning on Sunday, and falling up your porch in a wrinkly evening dress, with Alice Cooper eyes, and reeking of Pabst Blue Ribbon and whisky-- while all the neighbours are out doing yardwork! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At the bottom of the stairs with a package of frozen chicken wings clutched in my hand

Standing in my parents' kitchen, naked, holding my nightie, with a carving knife on the counter in front of me

...don't remember if either was actually a Saturday morning, all I know is I'm devoutly thankful those days are safely in the past.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

* The couch with no pants on.

I've done that only add that I had a blanket on top of me. Last thing I remember was sitting on that couch at 3 a.m. watching t.v. with a group of friends.

No one said anything about what happened. :X

Also woke up in a firends bed (female friend) and my pants were off and she was sleeping next to me wearing almost nothing.

Still not sure if anything happened. *lmao!*

We were still friends after that for many years so........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Forum Statistics

    38.9k
    Total Topics
    820.3k
    Total Posts
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 51 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.