Single/Couple Parents being pushed to drugs!

[GOTHIKA]

thx

[Msterbeau]

<!--coloro:#FFFF00--><span style="color:#FFFF00"><!--/coloro-->Take it from a weak and addicted personality, nobody pushes you to drugs. Nothing in your life pushes you towards drugs. The only person who pushes you to drugs is YOU...it's called excuse making, addicts are wonderful at it, I should know.

With that said, and I'm sorry if it hurt but it is a very true statement, I'm not sure what kind of drugs you are on. If you are on "hard" drugs (i.e. coke, crack, heroin, meth, or a combination of any of the above) then you need help ASAP. Your child can be taken from you, on those drugs you ARE NOT ABLE to give your child the care she deserves and needs. You need to drop everything and get yourself into rehab, even if it means having your daughter be taken care of by a relative or foster until you are clean. You cannot defeat hard drugs alone, you WILL need rehab, and if you don't get it soon your life will crumble before your very eyes and you will most likely either lose your child or make her life a living and hateful hell.

Now, if we're talking weed here, I'm an expert on curbing weed addiction. I am addicted to everything that you can think of, gaming, computer, coffee, food, used to be cigarettes, used to also be a drunk, but my hardest addiction I've had to curb has always been marijuana. I LOVE the shit, I love how it makes me feel. I'm 23 and I'm just now getting it under control after 5 years, and much like quitting anything else addictive, it is the hardest thing you'll ever do. One you get the ball rolling, however, you will realize how good it feels to be clean and sober, to enjoy looking at your daughter and actually being able to recall those memories in the future. I'm a pet owner, and I know that's nothing like having an actual baby, but for me it is (I'm so devout over my babies I almost died last week trying to save them from a housefire, stupidly, but I wouldn't have left the house without all three even if it meant I perished in it too) and when I had my two other rat-babies a few years back, whom ended up dying as animals do, I regret now that I look back at it and realize that many of the good memories I had with them, going outside, playing in the yard, going to the pet store to mock the snakes, are either fuzzy or missing due to how much weed I used to smoke. I cry about it a lot, do you really want to turn around and have it be your daughter's graduation day and not be able to remember her first steps? Her first words? First day of school? Everything that it is to be a joyous and loving parent? If you continue on using drugs, this is inevitable, you are numb to everything, weed tells you that you're happy and you're not, it's filling a void that should be filled with meaningful things, and also, you WILL forget what happened in your life.

So...now then, how to stop and feel good, or at least okay? That is the tricky part. Assuming that you're on pot and not hard drugs (hard drugs create a physical dependency, weed creates a mental/habitual dependency, therefore all "want" for pot is in your mind), there is help and hope, but it must come from <i>you</i>.

Now, even though weed makes you feel good momentarily, about 30 minutes to a few hours depending on how good the shit is and your body chemistry...but you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? You should actually ask yourself that question when it comes to ANY life decision, but especially something like pot, if YOU do not cognitively ask yourself this question every time you go to light a bowl or joint, weed WILL take over you. When left to its own devices, pot wants you to smoke it all the time and will stop at nothing to make you use it, even lying to you, weed makes you lie to yourself, that's all it does. The key to this is for the little woman in your head, your own freewill and consciousness, to say "fuck you pot, I don't need you to feel good". The reason this is so difficult to accomplish for most potheads is that when you finally get out of your weed-induced-haze, you will most likely look around, see a dirty house, see that your true friends have left you because all you did was use them to get pot, you have nothing accomplished in life, and have no hobbies or activities to make yourself feel good about you. Finally coming clear-headed and realizing that you are the dregs of life is devastating for most, I know it was for me. When you are a drug addict of any sort, you believe everything you are doing is wonderful and productive, it's only when you clear up and YOU come back into consciousness, taking the steering wheel away from weed, you realize that you have been living a drug-induced counter-productive lie, and you will be so mad at yourself, so disappointed, it will make you want to pack a bowl and smoke some more.

I'm sure you don't watch anime at all, but if you do, it's like the series Paranoia Agent, weed is Maromi, but all of your problems you're using Maromi to help hide and bury is the equivalent to Little Slugger. The moral of the story is that drugs will never help your problems, it will only make things worse even if it's "comforting" to use, and the only way you can get anywhere in this world is to stand up to your problems and literally battle them face-on, regardless of how impossible, scary, hard, excrusiating, unpleasant, or downright depressing those problems are. You need to let "Maromi" go (your drugs) and face your reality, no matter how unpleasant, because that's what reality can be. Running away never solves anything...EVER.

Instead of using drug-induced incompetance as an excuse to say "fuck it" and go get some more, this is where you need to think. Literally, sit down at a clear table for an hour, nobody else in the room, no computer on, turn off the tv, and rationalize your want. Just you and the little person inside of your brain that tells you what is good to do and what you should do, many of us stop talking to that "conscious voice of reasoning" once we become adults and become comfortable with our lifestyles and daily habits. In short: Adults love to put themselves on auto-pilot, not think about reprocussions, not think about tomorrow and only think about today. It takes a true adult to CONSTANTLY think about every action they do, why they do it, and why it benefits them or vice versa. It's time for you to become an adult.

So think...next time you'd like weed...why? Why do you want it? Most likely it will be because it makes you feel good and forget about your problems. But after you ask yourself that, I want you to ask yourself: Now...why DON'T I want weed? Your answers will actually be sound and logical answers, as opposed to "I want it to make me forget and feel good" which is illogical. Your answers will probably be something like: I'd like to interact with my daughter and remember all of it and enjoy it instead of being numb and brainless; I'd like to be able to interact socially better (weed makes many people have social anxiety, for instance, if I ever show up at a DGN event and I don't bounce around and talk to people right off, only talking to a select few I know well and the group I'm with: I'm high <img src="http://www.detroitgothic.net/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />); I will be able to carry out simple day-to-day tasks better and more efficiently; People will respect me more and I'll respect myself more; I will be saving money so that my baby girl and I can go out and do fun mother-daughter things that are memorable, as opposed to sitting in my house living an unfufilled and boring life playing WoW; I will be able to take up hobbies require practice, diligence, and skill that will make myself feel better about who I am (exercise, writing, painting, sculpting, music, ANYTHING that requires skill and practice, if you get better at these things you will feel as though you have more worth and don't need weed).

It is a long hard road to go down, and as I stated, definately not easy. I've had to walk down it, many other people I know have also. I still smoke occasionally, with friends, but after the buzz goes away and I want more, I sit down and think to myself: "Do <i>I</i> really want this...or is it the weed trying to tell me I want more?" I can tell you one thing, everytime I asked myself that, I found out that it was the weed trying to get me to smoke, and the only person who pushed it to be that way was myself. It's better this way because now I actually look FORWARD to it, instead of depending on it and having it weigh me down like a ball and chain, and when you only do it occasionally you get FUCKED UP <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />. Like the kind of fucked up you got when you first started...laugh for 20 minutes at your blank computer screen because it's HILARIOUS, molest everything edible in your house with your mouth, and finally take a four hour nap on the couch with your Game Boy still in hand in the middle of the Pokemon battle that you nodded off while trying to finish. That, my dear, is the best kind of high <i>ever</i> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />. If you constantly use, you will never have that high again, and weed will become as boring as putting your pants in the morning and brushing your teeth. Commonplace, nothing special, every single day, and every single day will be exactly the same for the rest of your life, sucking down smoke from a pipe, wondering why you even do it, and sitting in your house bored and unfufilled.

I've come along way, and so can you. Just remember the only way to beat weed and to live a fufilling and productive life is to literally think it away, with discipline and will-power. Tell yourself no even when it hurts and you'd think that you want it so bad you'd kill someone. Talk yourself through it, use logic and reasoning, say it aloud when you talk yourself through it (for some reason, I've always found this helps to better "cement" the idea into place). Remind yourself that there WILL be bad days, but you need to do what is in your power to go through those bad days and know that there will be a glorious light at the end of the tunnel waiting for your down-day to be over with. It will always get better, but sometimes it has to get worse or be mundane. And I mean it about picking up meaningful hobbies, DROP WOW, WoW is nothing to feel accomplished about, it's a video game. Video games, while fun time killers and are okay to play sometimes (and I grew up with a SNES controller in my hand from age six and onward, it's ALL I did), are not meaningful nor fufilling. When you beat a game, you did just that, beat some pre-fabbed game that millions of others have beat before you, doesn't sharpen skills much, and doesn't get you anywhere in life at all. Well...unless you play Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, or First-Person Shooters, then you can be in tourneys and win a lot of money <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />.

I wish you the best. If your drug problem is NOT a weed problem and is a hard drug problem, you CANNOT do it on your own and will need professional help. You must do this as soon as possible or else hard drugs will eat you alive. If pot is the problem: kicking weed altogether, or keeping it to a VERY staunch minimum when out with friends or vacations, while very hard, is the most fufilling thing you will ever do with your life, and even if you don't think so now because the weed has you and is clouding your head into thinking otherwise, take my word, someone who has been in your footsteps and walked the path before you. If you follow this advice in the end you will thank me, and your child will thank YOU <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />.

Also, get counceling if you can, but for many it's unrealistic. I'm horrifically fucked up and never had any sort of counceling, even when I asked for it as a teen during suicidal bouts, because I've never had money to pay for that sort of thing. But I found, when I thought through it with reasoning and logic, that myself and most other teens are "depressed" for attention, and I'm glad that I didn't seek help. It taught me that the only person in this world that can help me is myself, and that's true with nearly everyone. In my mind it's unneccesary, any friends I saw on it came out to be worse then when they went in, but apparantly it works for some people, so I'm told. If you can and feel you need to, getting a therapist may help, but be weary of any drugs they prescribe, from my experience some shrinks want to keep you mentally unstable. If you're not mentally unstable and popping pills that are fucking you up even worse, how are they going to get their paycheck? Makes sense when you really think about it. But I'm for good old fashioned therapy, where someone actually does the good and correct thing of talking you through your problems and letting you spill your guts, as opposed to pumping you full of synthetic man-made drugs that turn you into a worse zombie than when you were on whatever street drugs you were on before <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />.<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc-->

Cher... I dig you, but you need to learn to make your statements like this about you and your experiences. Your experiences are valid for you, not for everyone else. It's true we own and are responsible for our actions. But an addict fully into their addiction has about as much free will as a rock being thrown.

[jynxxxedangel]

All it took for me to straighten up off coke, was a night of laying in bed jonzing, after the dope was all ooted up, watching the walls crawl...hating myself for being so weak, and wishing I was dead-- so I could sleep.

Scaring yourself once, real good, usually does the trick-- if you have any natural inborn sense of self-preservation.

[GOTHIKA]

well its been a while; so i dont do drugs no more; not even around her. i only smoke newports and drink and i dont do those around her so im good

[Oh_My_Goth]

well its been a while; so i dont do drugs no more; not even around her. i only smoke newports and drink and i dont do those around her so im good

Good.. Because drugs don't solve problems, & your child deserves better than that kind of behavior.

[GOTHIKA]

i know; now i gotta fight a lot harder to get her back from her grandma

[pomba gira]

Cher... I dig you, but you need to learn to make your statements like this about you and your experiences. Your experiences are valid for you, not for everyone else. It's true we own and are responsible for our actions. But an addict fully into their addiction has about as much free will as a rock being thrown.

I have to agree with this. People are very often discouraged from seeking the help they need by these blanket statements about how these issues "should be" dealt with.

[Ice Queen (1)]

At 21, I was a mother of a 2 year old, living a with her father in an on the surface realtionship only at that point. To say the least, I was empty and I knew we deserved better. I made what felt like at the time, a very hard decision; to leave. Best decision ever! Well, one of them anyway. I'm not saying leaving is the answer, it just was for us.

[Homicidalheathen]

I dont know how anyone can afford drugs these days to which if they do them they must be dealing to which they risk loosing kids permanently to which I say that would suck ass

unless you do some other unsavory thing to get them...none of which is good child rearing.

I never did drugs when my kids were kids.

they notice EVERYTHING like frickin sponges

just living with someone with ocd made them kinda get it a lil not blood related either

kids are just like that (just using that as an example)