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What they said.

And now I sing for you ...

dirge.gif

CHORUS:

BUT!....

Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

VERSES:

Death and gloom and black despair

People dying everywhere.

We brought linen, white as cloud

Now we'll sit and sew your shroud.

Now that you're the age you are

Your demise cannot be far.

So far death you have bypassed

Don't look back it's gaining fast.

May the candles on your cake

Burn like cities in your wake.

I'm a leper, can't you see

Get your birthday kiss from me.

Burn the castle and storm the keep

Kill the women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Burn, then rape by firelight

Add -romance- to life tonight.

Pay attention, you must learn

First you pillage, THEN you burn.

It's your birthday never fear

You'll be dead this time next year.

May your deeds with sheep and yaks

Equal those with sword and axe.

See the wrinkles on your face

Like the pattern of fine lace.

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue

Your children plot to murder you.

Indigestion's what you get

From the enemies you 'et.

They stole your gold, your sword, your house

They stole your sheep, but not your spouse.

You must marry very soon

Baby's due the next full moon.

Fear and gloom and darkness but

No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT.

Were I sitting in your shoes

I'd go out and sing the blues.

You're a period cook it's true

Ask the beetles in the stew.

So you've aged another year

Now you know that Death is near.

Though you're turning 29

Age to you is like fine wine.

Children dying far and near

They say that cancer's caused by beer.

So you're 29 again

Don't tell lies to your good friend.

Children dying everywhere

Women crying in despair.

Now you've lived another year

Age to you is like stale beer.

Death, destruction, and despair

People dying everywhere.

So another year has passed

Don't look now they're gaining fast.

Typhoid, plague and polio

Coffins lined up in a row.

Long ago your hair turned gray

Now it's falling out, they say.

Black Death has just struck your town

You yourself feel quite run-down.

Birthdays come but once a year

Marking time as Death draws near.

May the children in the street

Be your barbecuing meat.

At your age most folks go blind

You've kept your sight, but lost your mind.

While you eat your birthday stew

We will loot the town for you.

We love children, yes we do

Boiled or baked or in a stew.

When you've reached this age you know

That the mind is first to go.

We, your friends will never tell

That your body has gone to hell. (by S. Roth)

We love (name), yes we do

For a dollar so can you. (by R. Schmid)

We like torture, yes we do

We've a corset just for you! (by M. Brunner)

FINALE:

I pray you pass your verse along

And thus improve our merry song.

If there be verses we have missed

You can add them to the list.

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