Great New Cheap Restaurant in Royal Oak

[the eternal]

OK, so since it has been aforementioned that Royal Oak is the center of the universe, now here's a place to eat.

Every day I drive past this place.

A cursed place.

A black hole of business success.

The Royal Oak placeholder of a financial death spiral.

A place so cursed that it has had a lonely "Opening Soon" sign in its window for TWO LONG YEARS...

Until Now

Royal Coney Kabob Grill

at 13 and Rochester, across from McDonalds

It's a fine Middle Eastern restaurant run by friendly, giving Chaldeans

AND

It's a nice, clean Coney Island with $2.99 breakfasts and $3.99 lunches.

ALL IN ONE!

When we walked in and were greeted with "Hello, my friend"

I knew we'd have a good time.

Bean and I decided to go full board and each got the combination plate.

It's their dinner special.

---A cup of some of the best chicken lemon rice soup on the planet

(since apparently you need to be able to explain E=MC2 to make a chicken lemon rice soup that doesn't either:

taste like you've been sucking on lemons for five hours in preparation for performing your first blow job

OR

has so little chicken, it doubles as an adult game of Where's Waldo)

--a plentiful salad we didn't finish

AND OF COURSE

---Chicken and Beef Kabobs with delicious rice

Now I have to qualify my happiness with them.

They gave us a bunch of free shit too, so we could tell you how awesome everything else is.

Among other foods, there was

scrumpdiliumptuous falafel balls and

stuffed grape leaves

and

like a half a dozen different types of Chaldean pastries.

I recommend the creme-filled baklava square and the crushed nut baklava,

MMMM...Baklava

but NOT the weird miniature donut hole filled with candied maple syrup

I don't know if it will happen to you, but

in addition to the beef/chicken combo plate, they put on a third meat, which was

one of the most delicious steaks I've ever eaten.

I asked what kind it was, the waitress told me "Lamb"

bean and I chose not to believe her since we don't eat lamb, due to their gentle nature and overall cuddliness

Seriously, a pig will gnaw your leg off, if given the chance. A lamb will simply baaa its disapproval if it doesn't like you.

And who doesn't love hearing a lamb Baaaaaa

Anyway, the meal made us QUITE happy and it will make you happy too.

That is, if you're into either:

cheap coffee and comfort food

OR

good middle eastern food

OOH, IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DGN RESTAURANT NIGHT!!!!!!*

As an alternative to the RO nights out with fishy fish smells, we can eat pancakes and pita bread!

Since they're a new restaurant, they're practically empty, and we can totally pwn that place

SERIOUSLY, LET'S DO THIS !

*Make no mistake---this is an UNofficial DGN suggestion.

For an unofficial Dgn night.

In fact it's really not a DGN night at all.

It's actually an OFFICIAL gathering of a group of amazingly wicked people who share diverse and divested interests including but not limited to

killing,

maiming,

gardening,

stomping,

knitting,

hugging,

AT&T, Microsoft, Merrill Lynch,

Lynchburg Lemonade,

Absynth,

Synthpop,

Pop Goes the Weasel,

Screeching Weasel,

Saved By the Bell,

For Whom the Bell Tolls,

JRR Tolkien,

masturbation to a cartoon orgy involving a pornographic Fred Flintstone, Jane Jetson, Barney,

Dora the Explorer, Huckleberry Hound, Hansel and Gretel, Speed Racer and of course...

Pikachu.

and Baklava. Because baklava is the shit.

Any relevance to Official DGN functions, alive or dead, is purely coincidental.

IF this were a warning of a REAL Dgn function you would have heard a sustained beep followed by a Peter Murphy tune, then Sisters of Mercy, then KMFDM.

Whereas real DGN events could reflect upon the impact of the importance

of the value

of the level

of the esteem

that the lower Detroit darkwave/shortwave/half-wave-half-kinda-fuck-you-middle-finger community views DGN.

This event would simply be a direct reflection of its individual, darker-than-thou members.

Results of this unofficial DGN night may vary.

Side effects may include weight gain, discussion of eyeliner, random bitching, moping, shouting, and temporary moments of euphoria followed by prolonged acts of aloofness and looking at the floor.

Let me know if you want to make this happen.

Edited March 4, 2009 by the eternal

[TitsMcGee]

I vote for next friday I just want dinner from somewhere. Granted I'd also have to figure out how to get to RO from the Leland where I'll be staying..I have no sense of direction.

[the eternal]

Mapquest is an amazing thing.

I'm sure you'll be fine.

Edited because bean tells me we are otherwise engaged at that time.

But we will be at the club on Saturday night

Edited March 4, 2009 by the eternal

[the eternal]

*BUMP*

For yummy food

OR

New DGN food night

[taysteewonderbunny]

Okay! What about Sunday breakfast?

[the eternal]

MMMMMMM...good idea, but it would need to be later. We should crash after City Club at the Leland and all go to the Coney afterwards

[taysteewonderbunny]

MMMMMMM...good idea, but it would need to be later. We should crash after City Club at the Leland and all go to the Coney afterwards

Yay! I vote that beanwater gets her homework done and I crash at your place.

[bean]

Yay! I vote that beanwater gets her homework done and I crash at your place.

This weekend wouldn't work for that, but next weekend might!

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

I vote for next friday I just want dinner from somewhere. Granted I'd also have to figure out how to get to RO from the Leland where I'll be staying..I have no sense of direction.

right by my house

[the eternal]

I vote for next friday I just want dinner from somewhere. Granted I'd also have to figure out how to get to RO from the Leland where I'll be staying..I have no sense of direction.

right by my house

See how easy that was? You just type in Jessika Fxckin rocks in da mapquest an your there.

Of course it's right by my house too.

Wait a sec. Are you that jackass that had the ten foot sign of McCain I had to look at every morning before going to work??

Alright now it's on

[Simon Bar Sinister]

...and the hours of operation are?

[taysteewonderbunny]

...and the hours of operation are?

....the hours that they are open, duh.

[bean]

...and the hours of operation are?

I'm not sure, but either myself or the eternal will find out and post them.

[jynxxxedangel]

We're thinking about doing the restaurant meet at this place, during Wreck's visit. He's never had Lebanese food before, and I think he'll adore it!!!!

Do they serve kibbeh nyeh? The menu presence of, and preparation of this dish, is how I judge ALL good Lebanese joints...

Who's up for this? Also, what day would be best for the greatest DGN attendance?

[hunhee]

Mmmmm Yummy!!! I loved my crushed lentil soup!!! Burrich & I ate there the other day, and it was yummy, and they were very friendly.

Edited March 10, 2009 by hunhee

[bean]

We're thinking about doing the restaurant meet at this place, during Wreck's visit. He's never had Lebanese food before, and I think he'll adore it!!!!

Do they serve kibbeh nyeh? The menu presence of, and preparation of this dish, is how I judge ALL good Lebanese joints...

Who's up for this? Also, what day would be best for the greatest DGN attendance?

I don't know if it's Lebanese food...all I know is that the food they did have was very good

Mmmmm Yummy!!! I loved my crushed lentil soup!!! Burrich & I ate there the other day, and it was yummy, and they were very friendly.

yay!

[the eternal]

Mmmmm Yummy!!! I loved my crushed lentil soup!!! Burrich & I ate there the other day, and it was yummy, and they were very friendly.

See that was the big thing for me. They were very friendly. That's important to me. I can't stand assholes that make you

fell like it's a priviledge to eat at a place.

Spammer: I believe their hours are 8A-9P, but I will check tomorrow.

Jinxxx: As far as the raw minced lamb balls you like

(YES kibbe nayyeh is raw minced lamb meat mixed with spices and wheat)

I will have to get back with you on that too.

Their middle eastern cuisine is only one part of the restaurant, as it's mostly a Coney,

but this IS the kind of place where the cook can probably make just about anything you ask for.

Clarification: This is NOT a Lebanese restaurant, but a Chaldean (Christian Iraqis) owned Coney/Middle eastern mix.

I like it because you can get $1.50 hot dogs or $12 Deluxe Kabob dinners,

which means we could do a DGN night and everyone can get what they want

BUT if you're looking for authentic Lebanese cuisine (and Lebanese do LOVE their many kinds of Kibbe) I may need to redirect you to the

--- Lebanese Grill in Troy or

---Beirut Palace in downtown Royal Oak.

They're both awesome.

Of course it's pricy.

ALL the dishes will be $12 and up, but they're fine restaurants so it's what you'd expect.

Hope this helps

[the eternal]

KIBBE UPDATE!

They DO indeed have kibbe!

They DO NOT have that raw shit that could kill you. (Kibbe Nayyeh)

"Only the good stuff that's cooked and delicious"---says the owner

bean and I have had all three mealtimes with the Royal Coney.

Breakfasts are good, not spectacular, but good.

But at $2.99, it's half the price of a grand slam, so I'm not complaining

Their burgers are EXCELLENT!

I highly recommend them.

My favorite part is still when I come in, the owner says "Hello, my friend"

I dig that.

[Head Wreck]

this sounds interesting

[the eternal]

*bump*

ALL DAY LONG

$2.99 FULL BREAKFAST

$2.99 SCHWARMAS!!!

This place is dead most of the time and it makes me so sad.

The food is great!

13 mile and Rochester in Royal Oak

[Guest Megalicious]

Iz wantz!!!!

[TygerLili]

I'd be in.

Yay! A DGN dinner that doesn't involve sushi or fish! Sorry, I can't handle that fishy smell, I get kinda nauseous and lose my appetite.

[Guest Megalicious]

PLEASE MAKE IT ON A DATE WHEN I WILL BE HERE!!!!!!! LOL

[the eternal]

I'd be in.

Yay! A DGN dinner that doesn't involve sushi or fish! Sorry, I can't handle that fishy smell, I get kinda nauseous and lose my appetite.

Yay! Me too.

That and fish is fatal for me if too much is ingested.

(If less was ingested I'd just be hospitalized)

[hunhee]

SCHWARMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!