My brother has decided I am his....

[Homicidalheathen]

I don't know if I should just ignore him and sorta disown him that is what my heart tells me to do. He is sending me and family members mail with bible (yup) qoutes about how witches and gays go to hell and all this stuff. I think he has a vendetta. He and my sister don't talk anymore. My mom is trying to keep us together. He is on a rampage about my being a gay freindly pagan and he is an assistant baptist minister.

I really don't want to deal with it. But he is my brother....and now he is trying to weezle stuff out of my parents and my sister is egging me on to fight for our share when the time comes. I don't want to get petty they can keep it all you know?

Who the fuck cares.

[Brenda Starrr]

That's so unfair, HH. I'm not sure that I would even know what to do. I hope that it works out for you!

[torn asunder]

personally, i'd send him an email/letter stating that you're very happy he's found something that works for him, and that you've found the same, and when *you* decide that you'd like to explore other belief systems, you'll let him know - until then, you'd appreciate his leaving all religious-based communications out of any future correspondence. then i'd tell him that if he can't respect your wishes in this matter, he should refrain from contacting you.

of course, some people say i'm cold... :erm

[Onyx]

personally, i'd send him an email/letter stating that you're very happy he's found something that works for him, and that you've found the same, and when *you* decide that you'd like to explore other belief systems, you'll let him know - until then, you'd appreciate his leaving all religious-based communications out of any future correspondence. then i'd tell him that if he can't respect your wishes in this matter, he should refrain from contacting you.

of course, some people say i'm cold...  :erm

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow that's really good. Can I borrow that?

[Msterbeau]

personally, i'd send him an email/letter stating that you're very happy he's found something that works for him, and that you've found the same, and when *you* decide that you'd like to explore other belief systems, you'll let him know - until then, you'd appreciate his leaving all religious-based communications out of any future correspondence. then i'd tell him that if he can't respect your wishes in this matter, he should refrain from contacting you.

of course, some people say i'm cold...  :erm

I agree. It's not cold, it's communicating boundaries. He has no right to do what he's doing and if he can't be responsible enough to accept that, Goodbye.

That of course is easy to say... I know I'd be pretty upset if something happened and I had to sever ties with one of my siblings. But what he's doing is wrong...

[torn asunder]

That of course is easy to say... I know I'd be pretty upset if something happened and I had to sever ties with one of my siblings...

which is why i said, some people say i'm cold - i'd have no problems doing so. once you decide you don't need anyone (whether you're right or wrong) it becomes easy to do. personally i'd rather be alone than constantly stressed out and fighting someone...

[Homicidalheathen]

We (my sister and I) tried that. It's like he cannot control himself so we don't talk anymore.

Maybe I should print out your response to my 'pagans and the darkside' post, it might make sense to him lol.

personally, i'd send him an email/letter stating that you're very happy he's found something that works for him, and that you've found the same, and when *you* decide that you'd like to explore other belief systems, you'll let him know - until then, you'd appreciate his leaving all religious-based communications out of any future correspondence. then i'd tell him that if he can't respect your wishes in this matter, he should refrain from contacting you.

of course, some people say i'm cold...  :erm

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Head Wreck]

pfft

satan demands you to buy a punching satan and declare it your embasador on any further contact.

ask meg. thier great. maybe he could get a punching nun too!

on a serious note i do have the hypocritical religous grandpearents. grin and bear it is my suggestion, but of course she doesnt know my religous beliefs or practices so i guess thats a dissadvantage you have

verry sorry to hear you have these issues

[lullaby1031]

If he's a minister - He of all people should be open and understanding and especially since your his sister.. I look at is as blood is thicker then water.. and at the end of the day, your family and nothing can change that. No one asks when their born, who is and isn't going to be related. If hes this "proclaimed" minister, shunning your sister is the last thing that should be on his agenda.. yea he can disagree with it cuz he as an individual has his own views on how things should be but it doesn't mean force them upon others.. Ministers are supposed to "guide" not condemn... Thus the reason why I hate organized religion to begin with..

[Lilith]

If he's a minister - He of all people should be open and understanding and especially since your his sister.. I look at is as blood is thicker then water.. and at the end of the day, your family and nothing can change that.  No one asks when their born, who is and isn't going to be related.  If hes this "proclaimed" minister, shunning your sister is the last thing that should be on his agenda.. yea he can disagree with it cuz he as an individual has his own views on how things should be but it doesn't mean force them upon others.. Ministers are supposed to "guide" not condemn...  Thus the reason why I hate organized religion to begin with..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have to toally agree, he should in no way make your life miserable just becasue you religions dont match up. He has made his point, told you his views and now he should leave it alone.

lilith

[CirceDragonus]

I know how you feel about the brother turning into a bible thumping maniac and trying to shove off his ideas on you. Mine's the same way. We don't talk. He looks at my sister as "dead" because she is an atheist. I still am around my family (she lives in Seattle) so he keeps trying to make me look bad to my parents and stuff. I personally wrote my brother off. If he is willing to do that to my sister so easily, then why shouldn't I. But my brother also has gotten violent before and that sort of thing. I think I'm a little to old to be going toe to toe with him. Do you want you think is right. I'm sorry to hear about this happening to you. *SMUGLEZ* You are awesome! Just watch out for when they take the bible thumping literally. (Been whacked with a few bibles by crazy people)

[Brenda Starrr]

pfft

satan demands you to buy a punching satan and declare it your embasador on any further contact.

ask meg.  thier great.  maybe he could get a punching nun too!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I look forward to receiving my Punching Satan. That way, when people piss me off, I'll just hold him up to their faces and pretend that they're not there. No one should ever have to listen to persecution. Especially when it's coming from a relative who is a supposed Christian.

I'm Christian, and I've never actually told a soul (and meant it) that they're going to Hell for being gay, a witch, whatever. That's just bullshit.

[Fierce Critter]

You can't help who you're related to. Stand your ground, girlie.

I had a falling-out with my sister 3 years ago, precipitated by her husband overstepping his bounds and saying something to me that was none of his business. Instead of sitting back and taking it like everybody else in the family does (my brother-in-law is a self-rightious, know-it-all blowhard son of a bitch), I finally told him, "thanks for the information. However, x, x, and x are really none of your business, so your commentary in that direction isn't welcome." After about a half-dozen e-mails back and forth that eventually included my sister, she's not talking to me anymore.

Now, I could back down and say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Forgive me?" so the "family" would be all together again. But not this time - this time I know I'm in the right and I'm not going to sacrifice my principles and integrity. My parents know all about the situation and are actually agreeing with me that for me to apologize & back down would be totally wrong in this instance.

My last gesture was to offer a Christmas card with a note saying, "hoping we can agree to disagree and be sisters again". No response. It's beg & grovel for forgiveness and say the B.I.L. was right or nothing with her. Too bad - I've moved on.

See ya at funerals, sis.

Anyway, it's o.k. to step up to the plate and be the first to compromise in a family fall-out. But it shouldn't be to the detriment of your beliefs & principles.