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What Are You Thinking?


StormKnight

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What am I doing...I'm in that trying to save the world again mode. If I keep this up I'm going to make myself sick with worry and then I will be no good to anyone.

Yep, my day started just 5 minutes after I posted this...I think I can do for some coffee right about now.

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I just finished a walk down memory lane and discovered that my mother did a lot for me. I never realized how much. I gave her so much flack because I couldn't accomplish the things I wanted. No matter how hard I tried. I wanted so much to prove I could do the things I set my mind on that when I failed, I was devastated. I hated knowing that I couldn't do anything without her help and resented her for it. How could I be so self centered and cruel? Actually, that part was easy. Too easy. I have learned it is very easy to blame someone else than accept the truth about yourself. Now I will continue on being more realistic about what I can do, and focus on making those dreams happen. At least I know she has always been proud of me. :happy:

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I just finished a walk down memory lane and discovered that my mother did a lot for me. I never realized how much. I gave her so much flack because I couldn't accomplish the things I wanted. No matter how hard I tried. I wanted so much to prove I could do the things I set my mind on that when I failed, I was devastated. I hated knowing that I couldn't do anything without her help and resented her for it. How could I be so self centered and cruel? Actually, that part was easy. Too easy. I have learned it is very easy to blame someone else than accept the truth about yourself. Now I will continue on being more realistic about what I can do, and focus on making those dreams happen. At least I know she has always been proud of me. :happy:

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I'm thinking about being nosy about this comment... :Poke

he isn't as nice as I thought. He hurt my feelings with a shitty comment earlier and has been stuck at my house for a few days and so I let him drive my car to work last night, he brings it back empty tank, so I notice cause I drove him to work just now and I made a comment like oh wow u must have drove back this morning on fumes..I assumed he would take that to mean that it's rude to not put gas in someone's car if they let you use it but he didn't get it, he asked me if I needed gas money but he's cheap and I was like no because I don't want to feel I gotta beg, he should just have been courteous to just do it, I know how he is so I'm not taking a dime from him..he would make me feel like I was indebted to him I'd rather suffer than feel like shit, so I ended up trying to get gas on my way back tonight and ran out almost because I thought I had enough money in my account to cover life until Friday but I forgot about something that came out today. And after what he said to me this morning, well I don't know if I'll get past that. I'm really bummed about it cause if I'm too much for him than I pretty much know I won't bother trying again. Edited by kat
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he isn't as nice as I thought. He hurt my feelings with a shitty comment earlier and has been stuck at my house for a few days and so I let him drive my car to work last night, he brings it back empty tank, so I notice cause I drove him to work just now and I made a comment like oh wow u must have drove back this morning on fumes..I assumed he would take that to mean that it's rude to not put gas in someone's car if they let you use it but he didn't get it, he asked me if I needed gas money but he's cheap and I was like no because I don't want to feel I gotta beg, he should just have been courteous to just do it, I know how he is so I'm not taking a dime from him..he would make me feel like I was indebted to him I'd rather suffer than feel like shit, so I ended up trying to get gas on my way back tonight and ran out almost because I thought I had enough money in my account to cover life until Friday but I forgot about something that came out today. And after what he said to me this morning, well I don't know if I'll get past that. I'm really bummed about it cause if I'm too much for him than I pretty much know I won't bother trying again.

It's interesting, I started to make a comment Tuesday when I saw a certain dining picture...all I could think was "run". And yes, it is only courteous to put gas in someone's tank if you use their vehicle. If the shoe were on the other foot, I am sure they would appreciate it.

Stuff like this makes me so upset...it's interesting, I was on I-75 yesterday morning and kept getting the urge to drive to your place, regardless of if you were there or not...but I was on a chauffeuring run at the time and that would have been very irresponsible of me. It just felt like someone needed to be there with or for you. I really was not sure what that was about.

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Thinking about cake...lots and lots of cake...gee thanks JyoChan, that cake you brought on Easter Sunday has opened a can of worms. Been a long time since I've had really good store bought cake...

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It's interesting, I started to make a comment Tuesday when I saw a certain dining picture...all I could think was "run". And yes, it is only courteous to put gas in someone's tank if you use their vehicle. If the shoe were on the other foot, I am sure they would appreciate it.

Stuff like this makes me so upset...it's interesting, I was on I-75 yesterday morning and kept getting the urge to drive to your place, regardless of if you were there or not...but I was on a chauffeuring run at the time and that would have been very irresponsible of me. It just felt like someone needed to be there with or for you. I really was not sure what that was about.

I would love to see you, you're welcome to visit anytime<3

Thank you for thinking of me.

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Too funny, all this training and the kids missed the point. As soon as their grounding was over, they went right back to their previous routines and self-serving behaviors from 2 weeks ago...it's just that now they verbally communicate their thoughts better. I guess at this point I'll have to take what I can get... :dry:

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I feel like I'm busting my ass every day but I never get ahead. I'm sick a ton so I have to "work" to get even the smallest things done but no one can really see it, I just seem like a slacker. Hell I "made" $12 bucks the other day and thought It was like I finally made it halfway up mount fuji.

Even just $100 bucks a month is damn near impossible , if I got that much extra per month I'd feel like I went from being "broke" to "middle class" and would feel like I'm doing ok.... ok enough whining. *slaps self*

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