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What Are You Thinking?


StormKnight

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I feel like I'm busting my ass every day but I never get ahead. I'm sick a ton so I have to "work" to get even the smallest things done but no one can really see it, I just seem like a slacker. Hell I "made" $12 bucks the other day and thought It was like I finally made it halfway up mount fuji.

Even just $100 bucks a month is damn near impossible , if I got that much extra per month I'd feel like I went from being "broke" to "middle class" and would feel like I'm doing ok.... ok enough whining. *slaps self*

You have to work? :blink:

Shouldn't you be on disability of some sort? That doesn't seem fair.

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You have to work? :blink:

Shouldn't you be on disability of some sort? That doesn't seem fair.

Well just for my own self esteem I call "getting stuff done" despite feeling like ass 'work' as in "my job is to work through the sickness and still try to get things done and (maybe) one day getting well enough to get back to a real job (really hate feeling like a leech on society)." Disability is a joke , its better than nothing but it still doesn't pay anything like all the bills.

Like helping the old lady next door bring in the groceries , even for me is easier than it is for her, despite me wanting to jump out of my skin. Also I trade magic the gathering cards (almost hospitalized due to panic attacks many times doing this) but I occasionally make $10 here and there to TRY and supplement my income. I try to look at all that as "work" just so I don't feel like a total scrub, but I know most people wouldn't view it as "real work". But to me much of it is twice as hard as my old jobs in the carpentry and / IT fields with this added layer of mental illness that ruins everything.

OMG... /crybaby mode off

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Well just for my own self esteem I call "getting stuff done" despite feeling like ass 'work' as in "my job is to work through the sickness and still try to get things done and (maybe) one day getting well enough to get back to a real job (really hate feeling like a leech on society)." Disability is a joke , its better than nothing but it still doesn't pay anything like all the bills.

Like helping the old lady next door bring in the groceries , even for me is easier than it is for her, despite me wanting to jump out of my skin. Also I trade magic the gathering cards (almost hospitalized due to panic attacks many times doing this) but I occasionally make $10 here and there to TRY and supplement my income. I try to look at all that as "work" just so I don't feel like a total scrub, but I know most people wouldn't view it as "real work". But to me much of it is twice as hard as my old jobs in the carpentry and / IT fields with this added layer of mental illness that ruins everything.

OMG... /crybaby mode off

What you are doing sounds great. Every head injury and/or legally protected person I've assisted have all been encouraged to do some form of activity to give themselves a sense of normality.

:biggrin:
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Wouldn't you know it. I'm out at 5am pulling trash bins to the curb. The minute I finish pulling out all the flimsy lidded recycling bins, we get hit by the mother of all windstorms...I just finished chasing my recyclables down the street will the garbage trucks are sitting on the corner waiting for a specific time to begin work...nice... :dry:

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He tried to explain his shitty comment to me yesterday, he said he's worried that my job is causing me too much stress and he thinks I'm depressed from the pressure of it..he has a valid point but I can't do anything else but social work, I know he's right but I can't let him brainwash, I wish he understood how important what I do is...all I need is him to listen but I don't think he can:( he's already shut me down about it, yet he I never once been disrespted or cutoff for talking about what is going on in his life, nor is he judged..I just listen because I care and I try and validate his feeling's at least! Not equal here yet that was what he claims to want. He is selective in equality, he probably means I want equality financial, sexually but only when he's benefitting_he needs to start with equality in my gas tank!

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He tried to explain his shitty comment to me yesterday, he said he's worried that my job is causing me too much stress and he thinks I'm depressed from the pressure of it..he has a valid point but I can't do anything else but social work, I know he's right but I can't let him brainwash, I wish he understood how important what I do is...all I need is him to listen but I don't think he can:( he's already shut me down about it, yet he I never once been disrespted or cutoff for talking about what is going on in his life, nor is he judged..I just listen because I care and I try and validate his feeling's at least! Not equal here yet that was what he claims to want. He is selective in equality, he probably means I want equality financial, sexually but only when he's benefitting_he needs to start with equality in my gas tank!

Babe, with the job you have, you should have the right to vent at all given hours of the day...just the level of crazy one case creates alone could fill a novel.

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It's a LIE, IT'S ALL A LIE....

It's not true that there is more room out than in...these dudes are puffing up across the street and I'm inhaling it in my backyard. Why wind current, WHY!!!

Blow the other way will you!!!

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Oh no...I just saw the first ant of the season climbing my wall...I think I became too complacent over the winter with them hibernating until spring. Now I have too much stuff around for them to scope out.

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