What Are You Thinking?

[kat (1)]

Something feels really wrong.

[TronRP]

No nurse. They sent her home for Hospice care with no nurse. At the HomeHouse, the social worker and head nurse kept telling us how intelligent we (her family members) are and how we (her children and grandkids) got this. And then they gave us a pamphlet to tell us how to prepare for the end while we (the family members not the Hospice Home Care people) take care of her.

Before she left the hospital, we confirmed a 24 hour nurse because our mother wanted to be home during this time. Now I know why the attending nurses were so overly helpful and catering to us Thursday, they knew our mother would no longer be their responsibility and they shipped her out asap. As soon as she left ICU, June 3rd, they had her status as "Discharged Today" meaning she was no longer receiving hospital care while she was in the hospital. They just made sure she would not be able to soil any of their sheets. She was officially discharged June 5th.

I had from 1pm Thursday to 12pm Friday to get a living room, dining room and bedroom (in a house currently under renovations) prepared for medical equipment drop off to provide for in home patient care. And just like that, we became Hospice home care provider assistants. All her kids, a 13 year old granddaughter and a 9 year old grandson.

Thank you DMC, you couldn't have made this moment any more awkward than it already was.

[Trene4000]

Vegetable my Aunt Sally Sue!  The only thing Ma can't do on her own is get out of bed and not for lack of trying! Those stupid doctors didn't want to be bothered. They kicked our mom out of MICU as fast as they could basically telling us we had to handle her until she died at home. Even the nurses who are supposed to help offer home care blew us off. What the blazes kinda rinkidink medical care are these people providing! I understand they are practicing medicine but puh-leeze! If we were wealthy they would be falling all over themselves trying to treat her. Jerks.

[Trene4000]

Dang it! All the resting I did and my back goes out!

[EagleRose]

Oh well... the joints never lie. Time to hunker down and take cover. Here's hoping the power doesn't go out. 

[Trene4000]

Here comes the nurse. Hopefully, she will actually be helpful. Or at least useful.

[TronRP]

People, do not be fooled...Home Hospice Care means You and You...not them

[Trene4000]

I wonder if she's trying to hang on for us or is it because she's afraid to die?

[kat (1)]

I'm sorry. You're family is in my thoughts. 

[kat (1)]

I need someone to talk to really bad.

[kat (1)]

I cried all night Friday, it's down to make or break, I don't really have any close friends anymore, a couple even said because I couldn't hang out at their leisure and since all I was was apart of a group anyway that why should we stay friends? OK, fuck I always knew they were petty and fairweather I thought I was paranoid but I wasn't. I have no friends, no honest, blunt person to really talk to right now. 

[TronRP]

I cried all night Friday, it's down to make or break, I don't really have any close friends anymore, a couple even said because I couldn't hang out at their leisure and since all I was was apart of a group anyway that why should we stay friends? OK, fuck I always knew they were petty and fairweather I thought I was paranoid but I wasn't. I have no friends, no honest, blunt person to really talk to right now. 

​What's going on...are you OK?

[kat (1)]

​What's going on...are you OK?

I'm supposed to be moving to Florida with him.

[TronRP]

I'm supposed to be moving to Florida with him.

​Florida!?! How the hey did that happen.  You getting hitched or something?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I cried all night Friday, it's down to make or break, I don't really have any close friends anymore, a couple even said because I couldn't hang out at their leisure and since all I was was apart of a group anyway that why should we stay friends? OK, fuck I always knew they were petty and fairweather I thought I was paranoid but I wasn't. I have no friends, no honest, blunt person to really talk to right now. 

​I try to help as much as I can you know I do.  I still love ya. *hugs* I'm just in a situation were now I'm not even in detroit half the week (fri-tuesday im in toledo) and you know I have your back when I'm able to.  Try to avoid all these dang manipulative disrespectful  people you seem to end up with. 

[kat (1)]

​Florida!?! How the hey did that happen.  You getting hitched or something?

He asked me to, unofficially I guess. I found out my thyroid levels are off the charts and he said I should quit my just because of the stress, I need so much sleep, my depression is at max..basically I do need to be within 100 miles of salt water to feel better, the meds are not helping I've been on em for years.

​I try to help as much as I can you know I do.  I still love ya. *hugs* I'm just in a situation were now I'm not even in detroit half the week (fri-tuesday im in toledo) and you know I have your back when I'm able to.  Try to avoid all these dang manipulative disrespectful  people you seem to end up with. 

I don't wanna lose him:(

He says he loves me, he said he loves my kids, I'm so scared of being alone and homeless again. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

Edited June 8, 2015 by kat

[TronRP]

He says he loves me, he said he loves my kids, I'm so scared of being alone and homeless again. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

​So is he going to put a ring on it?

[kat (1)]

​So is he going to put a ring on it?

Right...you don't do that type of shit without one, could a gave me a damn bubble gum machine ring if he meant it, ya know? So why would I take that seriously, I mean.. What is that? Fucking with my head bs.

[creatureofthenyte]

This new format is kinda neat.

Taking a little getting used to, but, it's growing on me, I think. 👍🏻

[TronRP]

Right...you don't do that type of shit without one, could a gave me a damn bubble gum machine ring if he meant it, ya know? So why would I take that seriously, I mean.. What is that? Fucking with my head bs.

​In my opinion, someone who does something like uproot someone and their family from one place to another without some form of commitment seems to be doing that to show that the person they are with will follow them to the ends of the earth...and when they get tired of them, dump them where they are and move on.  To be honest, there would be no true tie without some form of commitment, but then again, I'm just a negative person when it comes to relationships...

Maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice.

[kat (1)]

What kind of diluted, silly bit$h asked u to be her bridesmaid, than three months later because you didn't respond to a message from them deletes you, than when you ask wtf, I thought we were friends, they say oh you were just part of the group, wtf..diluted, multiple personality Sybil type shit! 

And I didn't wanna be no stupid bridesmaid anyway but how do you act like a bf to someone than pretend that they aren't shit..cause I couldn't go drink with you, or cause I'm still kosher with people you hate? And you think so and so is drama, ha! Pot meet kettle.

[kat (1)]

No wonder people don't get too close to people. Who can you ever trust?

[creatureofthenyte]

Sitting here, still feeling very irritated. Wanting to find out information, yet keeping my mouth shut.

[kat (1)]

Tron and Trene, that's what I'm thinking about. Prayers to you and you're family. You guys are in my mind and heart all the time.

[creatureofthenyte]

Going to bed. Still very much irritated.