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What Are You Thinking?


StormKnight

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YATTA!!!  Solution to "Cat Scratch Corner" issue...plastic corner caps with interior paint of either black (easy) or living room red (has to be matched) or pre-colored vinyl.

 

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I think the police thinks I'm a nut.  While I was unloading my truck, I heard muffled sounds coming from inside the back area of the abandoned house next door to me.  I truly hope it was just my imagination, but the sound was so distinct and strained like someone was tied up and trying to get attention.  

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Im trying to scour away every last possible expense... The $$ has gotten a bit worse. So Im just down to the basics of breathing air, staying alive and having transportation... i still have almost nothing I can save. RAWR.

 

Im the exact target demographic of trumps rob the poor and give to the rich system (especially his immoral health care plan cutting my below poverty income AND health insurance (that is a death sentence, Even with recent revisions by the adults in congress). So... why bother? But Ill try to keep trying. And an 8th try at going back to work would end the same... ugh. So much for taking advantage of my mothers 'ill pay half of whatever you can come up with for a new computer. (with vr even if i could swing it)

I probably could come up with 400 living off dead rats for a month or two. She recently told me its not on the table forever. Oh well I have 100 other things, I can just throw this one on the pile.

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So now we're living "The Brian Show: Boy Breaks Arm Part 2...This Again"...:dry:

I made sure to take everyone with me this time to make sure they heard the story correctly from Trene.  

In 2015, when I got to the ER at Children's for the case of the first broken arm, the first thing the head doctor said as she was headed to the room, they had my nephew in, was, "OK, get CPS on the line..." before she even stepped in.  She didn't know I was with the kid in the room because I was sitting in the hallway waiting for them to finish prep work.  All I could think was..."Wow, she's already made up her mind that this is a child protection case."  She was so focused on the possibility that this was a case of child endangerment that she didn't even notice the boy was lying in the bed in full Football Gear with his shoulder pads sitting on his legs from where they had just removed them.  The other six doctors, nurses, and interns looked at her, pointed at my nephew and 2 of them said, "He was in a Football game today."

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I have got to get over this fear of not doing things because I feel I will mess something up.  The thought seems so irrational, yet it is one of, if not the main, driving force behind keeping me from taking care of the things I know I need to.  I wonder where that came from in the first place. :huh:

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11 hours ago, TronRP said:

... I wonder where that came from in the first place. :huh:

It's likely external, a fear of negative judgement from people you know. Or, it could be internal expectations/attachment to a certain outcome. Remember, there are no mistakes, only results that we then deem either "good" or "bad"...

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I am getting these vibes off my friend who I been crashing at their house for the past couple weeks. I know he is a lonely guy and I feel like me being here sends him a message that maybe I would like him in more of a platonic way and he even makes comments and actually grabbed my ass the other day so I am so uncomfortable now. I feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation or idk standing in the way of his quest to find love. He's very lonely and he's always on dating sites looking but than he gets stalkerish and has been kicked off like every one I think. Idk, I hate this shit. I don't feel right. I want to leave but there isn't another option. He'll probably kick me out for not giving him what he is wanting. I'll go if that happens. I hate this its depressing.

Edited by kat
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11 hours ago, kat said:

I am getting these vibes off my friend who I been crashing at their house for the past couple weeks. I know he is a lonely guy and I feel like me being here sends him a message that maybe I would like him in more of a platonic way and he even makes comments and actually grabbed my ass the other day so I am so uncomfortable now. I feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation or idk standing in the way of his quest to find love. He's very lonely and he's always on dating sites looking but than he gets stalkerish and has been kicked off like every one I think. Idk, I hate this shit. I don't feel right. I want to leave but there isn't another option. He'll probably kick me out for not giving him what he is wanting. I'll go if that happens. I hate this its depressing.

Always follow your first mind.  Also, if there is a way to open up communication to make sure he understands there is a "Do Not Cross" line then make sure he gets the message loud and clear.  It's your body, not his play toy.

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6 hours ago, TronRP said:

Always follow your first mind.  Also, if there is a way to open up communication to make sure he understands there is a "Do Not Cross" line then make sure he gets the message loud and clear.  It's your body, not his play toy.

It's my fault. I shouldn't be here. I deserve it. I flipped when he did that and that's when he started acting weird. I told him I thought he understood but he tries something at least a few times a day..even if it's subtle. I told him that I couldn't get involved and that he's an awesome friend for helping me the way he is and I am going to give him $ when I get paid for letting me crash. I told him I can not get involved at all to any degree, not even sexually because I'm totally not interested in anything, nothing, like I'm disgusted with anything related to sex, relationships, etc... He will act cool but than keep saying stuff, like today I'm going to tell my mom your my girlfriend! I'm like nooo, what!! Wtf 

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4 hours ago, kat said:

It's my fault. I shouldn't be here. I deserve it. I flipped when he did that and that's when he started acting weird. I told him I thought he understood but he tries something at least a few times a day..even if it's subtle. I told him that I couldn't get involved and that he's an awesome friend for helping me the way he is and I am going to give him $ when I get paid for letting me crash. I told him I can not get involved at all to any degree, not even sexually because I'm totally not interested in anything, nothing, like I'm disgusted with anything related to sex, relationships, etc... He will act cool but than keep saying stuff, like today I'm going to tell my mom your my girlfriend! I'm like nooo, what!! Wtf 

Maybe you should go all "High Maintenance Diva" on him because right now he sees you as a potentially easy score target because stereotypically women with low self esteem are seen as "easy" and that they really want advances even when they say "NO". :dry:

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OH MY GOODNESS!!!  I just saw a commercial where these people from all over, were having an emotional experience over...Starbucks Iced Tea...WHA...???!!!???  :blink:

I actually thought it was a commercial about positive thinking or a cure for mental illness...yeah...I was WAY OFF...:huh:

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