I Had Some Of THE Weirdest Dreams

[Brenda Starrr]

Last night was NOT a good night for sleep. I had some really weird dreams. I rarely remember dreams, much less multiples of them. In this one dream, I was with this really hot guy, in my living room. This is a guy that I've pursued in other dreams, and remembered it within this dream. He was sitting on a chair that I don't ever own, and I'm straddling his lap and kissing him. His breath was vile, so I gave him a TicTac. When I took off his pants, his genitals smelled like his breath.

Then, I had this dream that Wayne looked like Jerry Stiller, but he was still Wayne. There was some Star Wars creature in our living room with some weird rotating weapon, waiting to kill me. I don't recall how I got his weapon, but I blew him to bits and had "Wayne" peel his bloody parts off of me. I then went outside, and there's a wine festival in my front yard. Two midgets told me that I couldn't be on my own front yard, and threatened me. So I shot them with the weapon, and all that would come out was merlot. They pulled out guns and shot me with chardonnay.

The one I had before I finally got up was this:

I went to an all-female prison. I don't know what I did, but I was incarcerated. I couldn't see Wayne and the kids except for the weekends. My cell was nice, and I was on the swim team (Everyone who knows me knows that I can only doggy paddle). I was feeling intense loneliness. So intense that I can't begin to even describe it. I think I had this one because I miss Wayne so much.

I can't explain the other ones.

[mallochai]

Yikes.

Ah, the junk drawers of the brain.

[Head Wreck]

*buys a supersoaker, a plane ticket to baltimore, a bottle of cheap wine and laces his shoes round his knees*

[Brenda Starrr]

You would do that for me, Chris?