Cheating.

[TomCat]

Almost every relationship reaches a boiling point/breaking point/ or transitions into something that none of us wants. Most end, but then there are those that cheat. It is well documented that most relationships have a "cheater" in their midst. Feel free to share you stories, either way. Cheated on, been cheated on, and how it made you feel.

[Brenda Starrr]

Well......

I was cheated on by my ex. His mistress was cocaine. I lost alot of sleep, had phone calls from dealers in the middle of the night, threatening me and my kids. I lived in fear, then got some balls and self-esteem and left. He has since cleaned up his act.

After that, I was cheated on by a guy I dated. His mistress was a stripper, then some customer of his, and some chick that was barely legal. He threw me and my kids out of his house so that he could move Miss Barely Legal into that house. I had less than 8 hours to get out. I was very, very pissed. I have since found out that he is a sex addict and Miss Barely Legal has left him.

There's probably more, but I was probably too naive to see it. My, how I've changed.

[Nienna]

I was in an open relationship for 9 years, so "cheating" wasn't ever really applicable. I dated a few people in that time on the side, never for a long period of time. I always felt guilty even though he assured me it was ok... I donno. Not great. I felt terrible if he went out with someone else and I think he felt terrible if I did. It was like constantly hitting eachother upside the head with a brick for about 7 years. I don't think I'd ever actually cheat. honestly seems the best policy now, and monogamy.. ugh.

[paradox]

i dont cheat. i dont see the point.

as for people cheating on me, i dont think i can discuss it right now.

[capuchin]

I've never cheated, nor have I been cheated on.

The closest I ever came was several years ago. I met a guy and we'd been dating for a couple of weeks when it became obvious that he was also seeing someone else on the sly. But since we hadn't been dating long enough for it to be "serious" and since I was already pretty disenchanted with him anyways, it wasn't that big of a deal.

[lullaby1031]

I was with a guy for almost 4 years and he loved his coke and heroin (which he started towards the end of the relationship - that I knew of).. He would use while I was gone . When I would go to work, he would call up his dealer and his many whores and FUCK in MY bed. There was 5 chics that I knew of and after I left him, I heard that there was way more then that. Some where even close friends that I thought where friends anyways... He drained my bank accounts quite a few times cuz he went through my stuff and found my card/checks. He's still paying off the bad checks he wrote from MY account - almost a couple grand.

With all that said, I refuse to cheat and I really have a problem talking to people who do. I just can't understand it.. if you don't want to be with that person then grow some balls, speak up and seperate the relationship

edited cuz I typed something wrong

[torn asunder]

my wife-at-the-time was sleeping with a co-worker of hers for over a year before i found out - he was married, too. they are now together and have a child. (three, actually, with the two he had previously) wrong way to go about it, but at least she's happy & has what she wanted now. i, on the other hand, don't, which is really a moot point anyway...

[honeymustard02]

Cheating is for those who are too much of a coward to say "I want to leave." Instead they cheat so it puts the other person in the spot of wanting to leave and gives them the shitty job.

[Onyx]

Cheating is for those who are too much of a coward to say "I want to leave." Instead they cheat so it puts the other person in the spot of wanting to leave and gives them the shitty job.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

EXACTLY!

I have never cheated and never will, and I can not respect anyone who doesn't have the guts to end one relationship before beginning another.

If things are that bad that you have to look for sex or emotional comfort elsewhere, have the courage to leave.

[Fierce Critter]

First off, cheating absolutely is not in me. And I have only the utmost contempt for those who do.

That said...

I had one relationship I thought was very, very special. Then, a progression of events happened that boils down to this (his actions): Extreme use of internet porn; led to addiction to internet porn; led to chatrooms where affairs were discussed; led to talking in IM's with other women; led to e-mails with other women where he shared pictures of his dick; led to my discovery of the above.

Yeah, I have a problem with internet porn. Nuff said.

[bean]

I've lost count on how many times I've been cheated on in the past. I thought it kept happening because I was faulty or defective in some way, but looking back on it now, I realize that my past relationships were just rotten. As far as I know, my husband has never cheated on me.

[soothsayer]

Hmmmmmm....which ones to share????? The actual cheats or the moments where I stepped in and put my foot down and pissed off whom was to become an ex-gf that I should've just dumped sooner because she wasn't deserving of me. Hmmmmmmm, so many moments to choose from. I'll be back. I have stories.

[TomCat]

Well, my disastrous marriage was well documented (more so on the old board, than here). Epic in the world of surreal, and hopefully never to be imitated again (except for the one asshole that stuck with her, even after I and all the rest {seven other schleps that whore was leading on/carrying on multiple lives with}abandoned that heartless bitch. Hopefully, they'll drive each other over the edge, and give me a happy ending to my book.) :devil

My story (the book I'm 75% finished with, that is) could use another death or two...

[LadyWindstone]

I was with my ex-fiance at the time and when we were two months into our relationship, I found out that he was dating something (yes i typed that correctly) else. I was working at a nightclub at the time and the way I found out about her was just plain cruel. I was working and his band was playing that night. Ok everything is kewl. His best friend and his wife used to hang out in the break room in the back with us until show time. Well there was this woman with them this time. I walk in to take a break and his best friend's wife turns to me and says "This is (ex's name here)'s girlfriend so and so!" I stop, look, say "Oh Hi!" Turn around and walk back out. I go straight to the band dressing room where he is and ask him what was up. He tells me that its his ex-wife and he needs to be nice to her to see his kids. I knew he had an ex-wife but there is absolutely no way that she was going to come all the way up to some hole in the wall bar in Michigan from Mississippi to see him play. I don't care how nice he is to her. I dropped him like a bad habit. I was so pissed off that my supervisor/best friend told me to punch out and go home. I punched out but I stayed while everyone got my ass drunk. That's the only time that I actually passed all my drinking limits and had a huge hangover the next morning. I will never go through that again. I won't do that to the person i'm with either. It's cruel and humiliating.

[Steven]

About 5 years into our marriage, which at the time was BAD in every way imaginable, my wife and I split up. She served me divorce papers, I moved in with a psycho chick for the sex (sad but true) and my wife and I spent the next year going thru multiple sexual partners. It never healed anything, only hurt us more, and just clouded the core of our issues, which included the very real fact that we simply had no clue how to be married.

When we reconciled a year later, we spent the next few years ditch digging: Learning what marriage was about, what our roles were, how to partner, etc. It was HARD. And knowing that there have been other men in your bed, that aint easy to come back from. But we did, and years later we actually started couseling other couples, which was trippy for us but very satisfying given where we had come from.

Cheezy as it sounds - nothing comes between us anymore - and nobody. "cheating" however you want to categorize it is destructive - but even that can be fixed.

Steven

[Nightflyerswmn]

my ex cheated on me so many times in the 2 years we were together, i dont think i can count them all. i caught him 3 times, but i was too stupid to leave. it really started getting bad when i found out i was pregnant. i guess he couldn't deal. he started smoking pot reall bad again and turned into a major crack/meth head. and he was cheating on me with some 16 year old- he was 21. i would have turned him in for statutory rape if i could've. i wanted to leave but i was afraid that i would be alone forever because no guy would want to be with a girl with a baby and only being 20 years old.

my ex even put me in the hospital when i was 7 months pregnant because i said something to him about his cheating (i had caught him the night before). he beat the shit out of me and left. i had to call one of his friends to take me to the hospital because i was having terrible contractions and i was bleeding where i shouldnt have been. While i was in the hospital, one of michael's friends came and told me that michael had been in austin clubbing with his friends and his latest fuck-of-the-month. that was when i decided not to care any more. he could have killed me AND his child and he didnt care about anything but going out clubbing with his little gf.

so i called my mom and dad and told them what had happened (they didnt know anything about it until i had already been in the hospital 4 days). they drove 17 hours to bryan, tx to come get me. its prpbably a good thing michael wasnt there when my parents got there because my dad was ready to kill him, and it takes A LOT to make my dad mad.

michael was at our apartment when i got out of the hospital, and my mom just about took off his head when she saw him.

but anyway. i had the baby 3 weeks later and michael wasnt even there. he came to the hospital later that night after his mom told him that i had heather.

you know what else, michael went to jail for something right after that (i cant remember what for), but he called me from jail wanting me come to come to his hearing to help his sorry ass out. i dont think so.

sorry about rambling on and on like that. i hope the bastard is dead.

[Nightflyerswmn]

i have never cheated and i never will. its pointless. if someone's not happy in the relationship they should tell the other person so the couple can either figure out something or else get out of the relationship. from all that i have heard out of the last 2 years, my husband has never cheated on any one and just isnt the cheating kind. we'll see. but i trust the man. oh and btw, roudy is a MUCH better father to my daughter than my ex could ever dream of being.

[The_Dark]

I have never cheated. my ex-wife cheated on me.. i actually caught her in bed with one of her flings. i don;t tell that story much anymore. People tend to look at me odd and move away slowly after I do. Lets just say it involved and ax and lots of blood.

[Brenda Starrr]

Lets just say it involved and ax and lots of blood.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, how I would love to hear this one....

[mallochai]

Yeah... I've been a victim, but I've never done it to anyone. Sure, I'm a terrible flirt, but I believe that fantasies are healthy, whereas acting on them is destructive.

Oi.