The Last House on the Left

[Destroit]

For anyone wondering why I haven't been around as much lately it's because I've been going through the wonderous miracle of life we all know as moving. Of course I was being sarcastic when I called it a wonderous miracle.

I sold my condo right before MANFAST, 7/7/09 to be exact, to some suckers trying to retire. For such a piece of crap I was able to swindle a sweet $13,500 cash. After MANFAST Pestilence and I decided we needed to start looking for our awesome foreclosure in the quasi-hoods of Warren, as I lovingly like to call it. We were looking for a home to buy straight out with NO PAYMENTS of any kind. The catch about this is that we were also trying to find one for under $10,000 that did not need shit-tons of repairs. We definately had out house-buying work cut out for us. Let down after let down happened, we'd find a home we loved and was what we were looking for and BAM...pending sale on it. Our agent, who works at the office I work at and is the best Realtor effing ever, takes us showing houses. The one house that we did NOT want, the one that my agent thought would be a good pick, turned out to be the creepy unique house that we loved after all. It's a home on the street "Mac Arthur" right next to Lincoln High School, a white bungalow with three bedrooms and 974 feet upstairs, around 740 sq ft in the basement, a 400 sq ft two car garage and is sitting on almost an acre - for SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. I made the bid at $8,000, since I wanted to seal the deal and had extra money to throw around. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when the offer came back as accepted.

Here is a picture of my scary ghetto-fabulous home, built in 1950:

There will be more photos to follow of all the the crazy fantasy-land rooms and things that don't make sense in it sometime this week.

There are a number of...ODD things about this home. For one it feels like it's a "Detroit built" house, but it's in Warren. I personally like this, even the basement smells like a Detroit basement and I <3 blight. The neighborhood is NICE, my neighbors are all blue-collar style workers who are good decent citizens and are not crime/drug oriented. As a matter of fact....the only five abandoned houses in the WHOLE neighborhood were mine and the ones surrounding it (see? odd...what did I tell you, just wait until I tell you WHY).

The Layout

This is no ordinary bungalow. There is no hallway and no front door to the living room. There is what we call "the rotunda" in the middle of the downstairs that you MUST go through the kitchen to get to. You actually walk into the front door and you're in the kitchen and from there you go into this circular "rotunda" in the middle of the house. From the rotunda is where the doors that go to the bathroom, two small bedrooms, the upstairs bungalow, and the living room, are located. From the kitchen there is also a doorway that has two steps going down to a platform, from that platform the side door goes out into the driveway, and the other way is the basement stairs. Pretty cool, huh? Now onto the ghettoness of the home.

The gross ghetto-ness of the previous homeowner

There was no debris in the house...but the walls were DISGUSTING. The first thing one would notice when we first bought the house was that the walls were GRAY with smudges and hand grime. I figured these people had to have had EIGHT kids at least! But the only thing grosser than that? The unidentified brownish-yellow urine looking streaks that COVERED the walls, dripping from the top and going almost to the bottom. There were also dots of this brownish-yellow substance on the walls throughout the home, except the upstairs. I stood, in disbelief, staring at my walls wondering who the fuck had a Great Dane that could piss so high when my friend Rob came over to lend a hand with scrubbing, took one look at my walls and made the following assessment: "DAMN..someone had a NASTY smoking habit". That brownish gross pissy looking substance, my friends, was nothing other than NICOTINE. Fucking GROSS, right? By how many streaks were streaming down the walls I would say the previous occupant must've smoked 8 fucking packs a day, EASILY.

After we started on the dirty walls we noticed allll sorts of ghettoness to the house. The plumbing, for instance, was missing in the basement but sloppily and only where the plumbing was visible (no fixtures were scavenged and no walls were broken). BOOM $1,500 there. It was my fault for not noticing it when we came to see the house, honestly. Still with that missing and costing so low, it only brings this AMAZING gothic-wonderment up to $9,500, still not bad considering the area and size of the home. One of the basement windows is boarded up, so we know how they got in, but what we wanted to know was how they knew the home layout so well as to get in and out of there with the plumbing so quick? I mean the three houses to the right of us are vacant/abandoned (the ONLY ones in the neighborhood, might I add, and apparantly where my neighbor's live on the next block kiddy corner to my house and their next door neighbors also had abandoned homes when they bought theirs from HUD), but this isn't Detroit and I figured the last homeowners didn't do it because had they stole the copper...why would they have bothered to kick out the window? Just figured that kids must be getting smarter now a days and left it at that.

The upstairs bathroom has no window...or so I thought. Bringing you ghettoness #2 I'd like to announce that when you're standing in my bathroom, which is adorned with CREEPY angel wallpaper so they can stare at you when poopy sin is coming out of your ass...it would NEVER occur to anyone that the bathroom could possible have a window. But on a sunny afternoon last week I decided to look at the side of the house and that's when I noticed: Four windows? It didn't make sense. The back window went to Punky's room, the front two go to the Living Room of No Escape (we call it this due to the lack of an exit from the living room, there are also no lightbulbs in it)...so where did Mystery Window #4 go to? It DID, I figured out, go to the bathroom at one point, but the previous owners were obviously pretty damn uneducated and did not understand the property of water, mildew, and water that gets trapped in bathrooms which, over time, causes mildew. Now we need a new tub, we need to replace wood under said old tub (due to the fact that there is NO VENTILATION in that bathroom) and we need to take down the drywall that they so ghettoly just SLAPPED UP ONTO THE WALL. I shit you not...but my friends, it gets better.

In the basement, where Timata will be staying, we call "Brittany's Room". Why? Because Brittany wanted EVERYONE to know who lived there, that's why. She wrote allllll about it on the walls. From what I deducted, at the time of eviction, Brittany was the oldest kid in the house (16 years old) and LOVED FUCKING PINK. EVERYTHING IS PINK. Pink walls, I found a pink pen, a pink marble, pink glitter going up the stairs and a big graffity sign in black with hearts and stars that says "Brittany". She has also fucked every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the block (according to her wall markings), a pretty good leg-spreading record for a 16 year old girl. Okay, so there was a teenage girl living down in the basement who was a little loose and liked to keep track of all of this by writing it on the walls, that happens a lot. However, when I finally got TO the black mold scrubbing and paid closer attention to the scribblings on the cinder block, I noticed something ELSE in that did not add up. Along with "Brittany's room" the wall reads: Devon's Room, Amber's Room, Meagan's Room, and Dee's Room. FIVE girls? In a tiny basement room? It gets better...

The house has no adult bedrooms. None. All of them have little kid wall paper, Punky's room has an awesome Spiderman light switch and about THREE OTHER KIDS NAMES (which brings the count to ELEVEN children). The beige "Dolphin room" with the childish dolphin wall paper had about 2-3 kids in it (there were a few names written there), and the master bungalow bedroom had a few children (there are kid stickers, scribbles, etc, and a sticker with a picture of a little girl on one of the dressers) but I'm not sure how many. So...15 KIDS and no adult bedrooms? But that's not possible...is it? I thought I just bought Neverland, and Timata thinks I bought one of Michael Jackson's old storagehouses, whatever it is...it was unnerving.

We all laughed when I found a Queen of Hearts with the word "Amber" written on the queen's face and a chocolate Easter egg in the closet in the master bungalow. Timata joked around and said "Man, this house IS like Alice in Wonderland, isn't it? It's so fucking nuts and weird." to which I replied "Naw, it's more like Amber in Ghettoland than anything else."

Creepy shit

For the age and location of the home, one would expect some ghostly activity in the house, but fucking Christ we had NO IDEA the extent. The first thing one notices about the basement and middle floor of the home: NO weird vibes. You think there would be ghostly vibes and feelings from the basement at least, especially since it feels like children were unhappy there, but you don't. Where the creepy vibes come from is the worst place possible in the house: my master bungalow bedroom. Doesn't make sense right? I was the first to notice as I am VERY receptive to energies in rooms, I emotionally channel them almost, choose not to belive me if you wish but I'm not trying to make anything up, just describing what I experience. I begin to take on emotions of whatever happens in a place, which frightens me as many of you know I'm pretty emotionally stable. The wrong room can make me go from fine to suicidally depressed in five minutes flat. The first thing I noticed about the upstairs room was that familiar feeling of being watched. After about three minutes of sitting up there the feeling of absolute FEAR surfaces, I almost get into a near panic, I have to literally coach myself through it telling myself that I'm fine and nothing is wrong. After the fear subsides, the next feeling to ALWAYS (and this is EVERYTIME I go to hang out in there) surface is hopelessness, which causes me to panic further. The last stop on this emotional roller-coaster? EXTREME and sudden depression, to which, I once again find myself having to coach myself through it. What's more disturbing about all of this...EVERYONE who has been in that room so far says the SAME thing without me even telling them what's up first. All starting to make sense now? Good, the next chapter of this saga makes all of the pieces fall into place and fit:

The story of Mr. S. Perkins, previous homeowner

The pieces fell into place when I met my neighbor, the ones who I said live kiddy corner to me (their back yard faces my back yard) on the next block. They are a nice Chaldean couple, I didn't understand the husbands name but the wife is named Leena, and they have a nice bull mastiff german shephard mix named Samantha. The husband said to me sternly, somberly, and suddenly during conversation, in an unwarranted manner, and his tone was nervous. "...Do you want to know why that house was so cheap?" Half of me didn't...but since the goth half of me already suspected something spooky going on, I couldn't resist. I figured he was about to tell me an elderly gentlemen passed away there...but NOTHING could prepare me for what I was about to hear.

He had just moved there about a year and a half ago. When he moved there he said his house was an abandoned HUD foreclosure along with the three next to mine and his neighbor's house also. The reason? The people who lived in MY house, specifically, made any drug house in Detroit look like a legitimate daycare apparantly.

Remember how I said there were fifteen children living there? I was correct. As a matter of fact THIRTY FIVE PEOPLE LIVED IN THAT HOUSE. Un-fucking-BELIEVABLE. I don't know how Child Protective Services weren't called, because, quite honestly I'm betting that they should have been. I mean thirty five people? There must've been at least five in every room at any given time of the day. So...the eight-packs-a-day of nicotine stain on my wall suddenly made sense and the fact that there seemed to be only children's rooms suddenly made sense also. But thirty five people and fifteen of them children? Who were these crazy fucking people?

Enter the previous homeowner, S. Perkins (first name abbrevated to protect his identity). Mr. Perkins bought the house on an $87,000 mortgage back when the government was handing out mortgages to anyone who had a pulse. I don't know what he did for a living, but I'm thinking he was a blue collar worker. He moved there with his girlfriend and her FIVE children (so we're up to seven so far). Since the neighbor has only lived there a year and a half he could only tell me the tail-end of what Mr. Perkins' occupancy was like. In the house my neighbor lives in now he said "is where it all went wrong for Mr. Perkins'" A woman, whom the neighbors described as "the epitomy of trash" lived there with her five kids. Perkins starts cheating on his current live-in girlfriend, the one with the five kids, with this sleazy bitch who lives next door. Instead of breaking up with him and moving out, she proves her OWN trashyness by not only saying it was okay for S. Perkins to have this girlfriend: she invited said trash (who was getting foreclosed on herself) to move in with her five girls whom they "FORCED" to live in the basement (i.e. Devon, Dee, Brittany, Amber, and Meagan, get it now?). So this brings us to three adults, and TEN CHILDREN, so thirteen. The rest of the 35? Random people who were probably on CRACK and HEROIN that were vagrant bums around the neighborhood. For some odd reason, in his lost sense of logic, Mr. Perkins thought it was charitable and noble to invite in any homeless bum that wandered onto his property without even KNOWING THEM MORE THAN A FEW HOURS so they could flop in his house indefinately. In this count included five other drugged-out MINORS who were local runaways. So basically, homeless people living in a house full of little girls, the youngest being around 6-8 (Amber, I'm assuming). Makes you cringe like it makes me cringe, right? How can mother's be so shitty as to not do something about that or even think it was wrong? So there were probably a bunch of little girls being molested by a bunch of homeless people in what is now my current residence...NICE (*heavy sarcasm, obviously*). What shitty grown-ups these kids so happened to be unlucky enough to be born to .

These people were such nuisances it forced ALL OF THE SURROUNDING NEIGHBORS to abandon their homes....LITERALLY. I am not exaggerating. Personally I think the guy didn't know what he was getting himself into, and was trying to get rid of both of the invasive trashy girlfriend species by inviting creepy drugged up homeless people to live their with their children so they'd end up leaving to protect their kids. I think Mr. Perkins underestimated what kind of pieces of human waste shit his girlfriends were, because they didn't leave. The opposite happened and he ended up with 35 people living in his home, including 7-10 homeless drug addicts and five runaway minors. The neighbors said you could smell pot bellowing from the home at ALL HOURS of the day from a mile away.

To make this long story short...the house was so cheap because it was the scene of a murder/suicide last year. Police are fairly sure it was a suicide but it is/was being investigated as a murder. One night the girlfriends were "downstairs" (hence why this is unclear to police, at least one gf usually slept next to him), all vagrants were downstairs and all of 15 of the kids were sleeping (according to the people in the house). The next morning? Mr. Perkins was found dead ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR. He had ingested anywhere from 25-30 PILLS of ecstacy, laid down on the floor, and died. Yeap...I shit you not. This ALSO explains why everyone goes crazy upstairs in the bunglow and my channeling of SEVERE emotions (hence the fear, hopelessness, then depression = suicidal overdose). After that I ran inside and vacuumed the carpet upstairs for about an hour "trying to get the dead guy out".

I knew that the neighbor had not lied when I pulled out a drawer in the dresser that is built into the wall. Behind the drawer was three pieces of paper, one for a warrant to arrest Mr. Perkins on back support, one was a notice saying he was severly overdue on his mortgage, and one was a lawsuit settlement in his favor saying he was "age 35 at the time" which is the EXACT age my neighbor said he was when he died and also had his full name, which the neighbor also had told me. So there you have it...it's true.

After his death all of the people in the house were out in HOURS...suspiciously. The police still don't know if it was a murder or a suicide, as I said.

All this AND...my house is ACTUALLY the last house on the left (hence the topic title). Awesome right?

Now I know why my plumbing was stolen, one of the homeless that knew the layout of the house must've come back and stole it, figuring that since they knew the house it would be an easy in out. I tell you what though...one of those homeless motherfuckers so much as comes up on my lawn and they're getting a fucking gun in the face. I do not take well to crackheads.

SO with all that said...the "Chernobyl, Pest, Timata and Punky Housewarming Blowout Party" will be mid-September. It will not be BYOB...but it will be BYOQB (Quija Board). I only have one. How goth is that, huh? Look for the thread in the Events section when I get more info about when I will be moving in for good (still is to be inspected by Warren, etc, and moving in then painting).

WE DO NOT NEED ROOMMATES....WE'RE FULL. It will be myself, Pestilence, Punky in the Spiderman Room and Timata will be living in Brittany's Lair. Good times to ensue. Hopefully we don't go all Amityville Horror House and try to kill each other in our sleep.

Like I said...pictures of the inside, back yard, etc. to come later tonight.

Edited August 23, 2009 by Chernobyl

[Rev.Reverence]

...I could come & do a cleansing if you wish...OH..& that's some fucked up shit...

[Head Wreck]

well that was fucked up.

but you have a house under your budget in a decentish neighbourhood and no mortgage.

the gentleman simply needs to be told to move on and be free

[Rev.Reverence]

well that was fucked up.

but you have a house under your budget in a decentish neighbourhood and no mortgage.

the gentleman simply needs to be told to move on and be free

Yup...

[Guest Megalicious]

Up for a cleaning and a game of twister

Congrads - I think LOL.

In all serious, that is awesome you and P found a house!!! I'm super happy because not only did you find a house you like (besides the LOVE that will have to go into it) but you got to keep some of your money from selling the condo !!!!!

[bean]

Epic post. Epic.

Holy shit! Your house needs a serious cleansing...maybe 2 just to be safe.

Wow.

[Raev]

dear god(s).

yeah.

[Scales]

That's messed up. Good luck. After painting everything looks nicer.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Now that's some crazy shit, Dude.. & Yeah, we can come "clean house" if you would like

[Onyx]

Tried to post just now but the board went all weird on me. (goblins from the house maybe)?

Great decision in my opinion and who better to take on a house with a history than those who have a love for all things dark and creepy

Best wishes on fixing it up to your liking and here's hoping any spirits are either friendly or decide to move on.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

...I could come & do a cleansing if you wish...OH..& that's some fucked up shit...

I don't think one shaman can pull it off - at least not in one try. Remember that cult in San Diego that offed themselves because they thought the Hale-Bopp comet was a starship coming to pick them up? When that house was finally sold, the new owners had the house torn down, the foundation ripped out and then they brought in an assortment of holy men (rabbi, priest, imam, monks, etc.) to spiritually sweep the place clean.

btw - congrats, Chernobyl!

Edited August 21, 2009 by SpammerOvTheGods

[Msterbeau]

I couldn't read through that mess.. It's even worse then the house.

*Runs*

[StormKnight (1)]

I think this may help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3F9o4vBZ10

[deathfearsnone]

oooo can i do an evp session in your house and i live in warren XD

[dragonluv]

That is fuck up. Good Luck with "Cleaning the House" .

Edited August 21, 2009 by dragonluv

[Enishi]

Before you guys do a cleansing on this house, I want to explore it, hehe.

[pomba gira]

edit b/c my post somehow ended up in the wrong thread... WTF? maybe I should just go back to bed...

Edited August 21, 2009 by pomba gira

[Rev.Reverence]

I don't think one shaman can pull it off - at least not in one try. Remember that cult in San Diego that offed themselves because they thought the Hale-Bopp comet was a starship coming to pick them up? When that house was finally sold, the new owners had the house torn down, the foundation ripped out and then they brought in an assortment of holy men (rabbi, priest, imam, monks, etc.) to spiritually sweep the place clean.

btw - congrats, Chernobyl!

...awe man...that's hardly a metaphysical parallel...

This guy offed himself (you don't murder people with 20+ hits of the x)...so he wants out...

MOST spirits need prayers to guide them to the after (see the Tibetan Book Of The Dead)...

...sounds like nobody aided him thus...& he was REALLY high when he died, so, he's just sittin' there, bein' all ookie & spookie...

WHERE AS...in the kids in the San Diego house were deluded into servitude before they offed it; & then the cult leader's soul was feeding off of the other weaker souls...(this is how I am to understand the workings of metaphysics from many years of researching such phenomena.....

...besides...I haven't worked alone in over 8 years...always got me Wife...then, came Junior I want to let him loose there to see if he can zero in on the 'hot spot'...he's never been tested yet, not a whole lot of chances, as the last house we had that was haunted (5.5 years ago, not in Junior's working time line) had a Mother Superior in it, &she was so nice, we left her there; We gave her license to depart, but, I think she liked looking out the window at her church...

[creatureofthenyte]

Now that I think about it, wouldn't it be cool if the show Ghosthunters did a feature on your house ?

[Destroit]

I couldn't read through that mess.. It's even worse then the house.

*Runs*

I know, I did it at work in five minutes the other day and it's completely unedited . I was going to re-read and edit the whole thing when I added more info and added the pictures to the thread.

What's in store for Chernobyl at the new house tonight, everyone? Scrubbing the black mold out of Brittany's Lair with Timata! By tomorrow we should have all of the black mold squared away. The basement will then be dry-locked (it's the awesome basement wall sealant), primered with Kilz, and then painted eventually. The basement floor, however, will have to be primered, painted (black) and then sealed (works the opposite of the walls). Fun fun, right?

The front window still needs to be replaced from whomever kicked it in/out, also the basement window that was kicked in so that assholes could scavenge my copper, and then lastly the window that has BB shots in it near the back of the house. It looks like the bullets came from INSIDE, probably one of the fifteen kids that used to live there I'm guessing.

Edited August 21, 2009 by Chernobyl

[Destroit]

Before you guys do a cleansing on this house, I want to explore it, hehe.

We are there everyday, and that invite goes along with anyone else who wants to come see it and hang out. We have an xBox 360 and disembodied souls (at least one)...does that not sound like a good time?

For whoever wants to see it before the house party: It's at 9 and Van Dyke and no I will not pick you up. Call my cell. If you don't have my number, PM me and I can give it to you.

Edited August 21, 2009 by Chernobyl

[Destroit]

For all those who are looking to get rid of Mr. Perkins:

I thank you for your offer and concern but I already have Pestilence's mother coming to do it. She crazy knows her shit and offered, so thanks for volunteering everyone, but we have it covered. If something falls through and we need someone's service, I will post it.

[n0Mad]

What's in store for Chernobyl at the new house tonight, everyone? Scrubbing the black mold out of Brittany's Lair with Timata! By tomorrow we should have all of the black mold squared away.

Let's see ... yellow mold, brown mold, black pudding ... Hmm, no black mold in this Monster Manual. Sorry, can't tell you how to defeat that one. *shrug* lol

[pomba gira]

Was in a couple creepy houses when I was house-hunting... one had a very heavy, but shorter than normal height door in a corner of the basement... painted red... with a 2x4 bar and two huge deadbolt locks on it. Even odder, it was on an outside wall (in a regular basement, not a walkout). The realtor asked me if I wanted him to open it ("Well...uh... we can open it... if you want...") I told him I had no desire to see whatever was on the other side of that door.

[Homicidalheathen]

Can I come over and poop? I want to be starred at by creepy angles!