Thoughts on love?

[TheLordOfSins]

It's the basic, old question, is love worth it? Many people after a break up say they'll never fall in love again, the bad out weights the good. I personally feel the good times make the bad worth fighting through.

But whats everyone elses thoughts on it?

[brandywine0880]

These days I don't think a whole lotta people understand what real love is. They get addicted to somebody, claim it's love, then when they break up one of them, if not both, go play house with someone new, and lo and behold they're in love again. Jumping from relationship to relationship all in the name of love.

And I won't even get on the subject of cheaters. I understand we're all human and we have flaws and make mistakes, but I think cheating on someone you love, well maybe this is the wrong terminology, but isn't that an oxy moron? Because how can you claim "love" but manage to bone someone else? I say keep it in your damn pants, male or female. Show some f'ing respect, and some restraint.

Love is worth it when both people are mature enough to handle the good and the bad without bitching out and saying "Next!" And if you are in love, be grateful and nuture that shit because it ain't that easy for some people to find love.

[candyman]

Honestly...I love cars and that is about it. The cars I own and those that I care for mean everything to me and if anyone decides to mess with them they mess with me. I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into these vehicles and don't care what I lose as long as they are running well.

As far as women go...well the ladies don't talk to me and I don't talk to them...I believe that "love will find a way" so until then the ladies can take a backseat to the cars.

There is always more bad than good, at least at the start of things...but when it is all done then you have some good that will last you as long as you care to make it last...that goes for cars and people.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

worth every moment, even when it ends in disaster

[TheLordOfSins]

Cheating, I'd agree with, how is it you can cheat on someone if you love them. But to me, love and sex are two very different things. As long as both parties agree, theres no problem with having a relationship and having sex with someone else, as long as it doesn't hurt the person your in the relationship, as in an agreement to it. In fact I know of plenty of swingers and people in just plan ol' open relationships that seem to have great lives together even though they have sex with others.

[drcarstairs]

Yes, love is worth it. I think brandywine0880 hit some valid points – infatuation and lust are nice, but they are not love and too many people confuse them.

You have to take chances, risk. Love will not find the timid or the meek, at least note easily. Use your mind, but trust your guts. Sometimes you will be hurt, and sometimes that will be from the people you love. Sometimes you need the hurt to grow, or to realize how much you have screwed things up.

Don’t like cheaters, but when everyone is aware of and approves of a situation (swingers and the such) – hey if it works for them good. No single solution fits every one – but lying to those who you say you love is a copout.

Be Well.

[Ice Queen (1)]

I love my life. I love my children. I love my friends. Love in a romantic sense??? It's just not for me. Lust is my forte. Life is too short too waste time and turn down opportunities in pursuit of something that just will never be. Some of us just aren't cut out for it. Accepting this, and embracing it, can lead to a wonderful world of....um, well, fun!

[jynxxxedangel]

All of the horrible relationships I went through in the past, have only caused me cherish the person I have now, all the more deeply. Looking back, I realise that they were only a series of educational experiences, preparing me mentally and emotionally, for the love of my life. Had I not been through those hardships that resulted in failure, I would not have been strong enough to face the hardships that have resulted in success.

[StormKnight (1)]

worth every moment, even when it ends in disaster

+1

[Enishi]

I guess it depends on the type of disaster. The worse kind of disaster is where the two people completely hate each other and never talk again, IMO...

[Eevee]

Ehh. I haven't fallen in love. And am not really sure if I ever will.

I think that in my past and childhood and all that...I somehow ended up putting the feeling of love at such a high level that I think it's impossible for me to find that one person who I can feel amazing about and fall in love with.

Its a very nice thought...don't get me wrong.

But I just don't think it's possible.

[Enishi]

Ehh. I haven't fallen in love. And am not really sure if I ever will.

I think that in my past and childhood and all that...I somehow ended up putting the feeling of love at such a high level that I think it's impossible for me to find that one person who I can feel amazing about and fall in love with.

Its a very nice thought...don't get me wrong.

But I just don't think it's possible.

Lots of movies, books and media *cough Twilight cough romance novels cough* hype romantic love up to be this grand thing which surpasses all other forms of experience. It's nice, but there's lots of other stuff which has to be in place, such as understanding, trustworthiness, stability, heart to heart and spirit to spirit communication.

Romantic love mostly comes from the gonads and tends to be strongest when there's a large element of uncertainty, tension and danger which shouldn't be present in a real relationship. Romance *by itself* is simply lust.

Edited August 22, 2009 by Enishi

[Homicidalheathen]

yes its one of the most amazing experiences one can have as a human

just know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to turn and walk away

Kenny was good for something eh?

[GOTHIKA]

Sometimes love is worth fighting for; but in my case I'm in love with 2 men; my baby daddy and my current man. after all the beating my baby daddy put me through i still want him; but im trying to be faithful to my new man. i think this is lust and desire that im feeling. so in my opinion LOVE IS ALWAYS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!

[bean]

All of the horrible relationships I went through in the past, have only caused me cherish the person I have now, all the more deeply. Looking back, I realise that they were only a series of educational experiences, preparing me mentally and emotionally, for the love of my life. Had I not been through those hardships that resulted in failure, I would not have been strong enough to face the hardships that have resulted in success.

+1,000,000

[StormKnight (1)]

yes its one of the most amazing experiences one can have as a human

just know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to turn and walk away

Kenny was good for something eh?

You forgot "know when to run." Which sometimes is necessary.

[TygerLili]

Short answer: Yes!

Long answer: I agree with much of what people have said above, but I'll try to give my own 2 cents. First of all, there are many types of love, and there are many people I love in a non-romantic way, and loving them is totally worth it. However I assume we are just talking about romantic love here.

I think a lot of people confuse lust or infatuation with love, or try to force themselves to be in love because they feel that's what is expected of them, either by society, or by their own expectations. I think this is a bad situation. Loving someone, and being in love with someone, which are two different concepts, both happen naturally. We don't choose or plan who we are going to love.

Love and sex are also two completely different concepts. They can enhance each other when used in conjunction, but you can also absolutely have one without the other. Cheating, swinging and poly situations all fall into the same category of "not for me." I'm not saying that I think they are the same thing, just that none of those things would fly for me in a relationship, and I don't really understand the concepts.

My theory, as I was explaining to a friend last night, is that if you genuinely love someone, depending on how things ended you will either always love them in some capacity, or you will end up hating them. It's too strong of a feeling for it to just go away. I can honestly say that I still love every man that I ever truly loved. It changes from an I-want-to-be-with-you love to an I-care-about-you-as-a-friend love after a while, but it doesn't just go away.

All that said, I think that real love is definitely worth it. Even when it doesn't work out, it's both a learning experience, and a happy time you can look back on.

One final thought; I'm not trying to offend anyone, but if you have never actually been in love, I don't know how you can answer this question. That's like me saying "I don't think bungee jumping is worth the potential risk." How would I know if I've never done it? I realize that's not the best example, but you get my drift.

Edited August 22, 2009 by TygerLili

[Guest Megalicious]

We don't choose or plan who we are going to love.

Indeed D, Indeed.

Love.

is it worth it? - Yes.

Love IS worth it. It has given me a mind fuck. All my life, I have never NEEDED, I mean truly needed anyone, or anything - ever. When something shows up on your door step, in a most unexpected form and changes all of that ... its fucking mind blowing. Sometimes it is unbearably painful, sometimes it is amazingly beautiful - but always worth it. I never regert, it will never leave my mind ... and I will always love.

Edited August 22, 2009 by Megalicious

[Guest Megalicious]

Ehh. I haven't fallen in love. And am not really sure if I ever will.

I think that in my past and childhood and all that...I somehow ended up putting the feeling of love at such a high level that I think it's impossible for me to find that one person who I can feel amazing about and fall in love with.

Its a very nice thought...don't get me wrong.

But I just don't think it's possible.

Ahhhh. *nods*

You sound like me LOL.

Give it some time ... it took me a LONG time.

But when you do fall in love .. it will be hard to accept - like I said mind blowing.

[TheLordOfSins]

Social love, for me atleast has never been a problem. Friends, family, that sorta thing. Romantic love is far me risky and personally, for more exciting. So, I don't see why this can't be about both!

Edited August 22, 2009 by TheLordOfSins

[torn asunder]

... We don't choose or plan who we are going to love.

disagree - one can't fall in love with someone unless one allows oneself to do so.

I love my life. I love my children. I love my friends. Love in a romantic sense??? It's just not for me. Lust is my forte. Life is too short too waste time and turn down opportunities in pursuit of something that just will never be. Some of us just aren't cut out for it. Accepting this, and embracing it, can lead to a wonderful world of....um, well, fun!

agree somewhat, although lust, too, seems a waste of time to me. short-term satisfaction which leads to more emptiness, because once the fun runs out/dries up, what is one left with? a big bag of empty...

love no longer exists as it once did. today's society has made people fickle; they come and go as they please, they look for whatever's easiest, and if things become difficult, they bail. if you find another to walk life's path with, accept it for what it is, be grateful, but don't be surprised when those paths diverge again. it's the way of the "new" world...

god, what a gloomy-gus!!

[AstralCrux]

I'm happier single.

[Ice Queen (1)]

disagree - one can't fall in love with someone unless one allows oneself to do so.

That's how I've seen it. I also believe I would have to allow someone to love me. I don't think I'm capable in either direction.

agree somewhat, although lust, too, seems a waste of time to me. short-term satisfaction which leads to more emptiness, because once the fun runs out/dries up, what is one left with? a big bag of empty...

I'm female and not disgustingly ugly. There is always plenty of fun available. I plan on kicking the bucket before I get too old. Actually, I see that point. I can't say that I disagree. I spent a year behaving while single avoiding frivolous play for that reason.

love no longer exists as it once did. today's society has made people fickle; they come and go as they please, they look for whatever's easiest, and if things become difficult, they bail. if you find another to walk life's path with, accept it for what it is, be grateful, but don't be surprised when those paths diverge again. it's the way of the "new" world...

god, what a gloomy-gus!!

gloomy, but too true

[creatureofthenyte]

I too am happier single.

The last relationship I was in, ended badly; with me feeling emotional pain that hurt like nothing else could. I don't know if I will ever meet anyone that will make me feel crazy enough to want to take the risk of possibly enduring more of the previous emotional pain for that shot in the dark chance at success. There was one good part of that relationship though; there was this one day we went down to the shore, to a beach and walked out onto a pier, overlooking Long Island Sound, and we enjoyed each other. We were in love at that very moment.<--so given that particular day in my life, I would have to say that if you are lucky enough to find it, OMFG it can be AWESOME!

[Oh_My_Goth]

Falling love is grand

Staying in love can be tricky