Boy set on fire over $40...

[pomba gira]

We are seriously failing our children.

All it takes to turn a troubled child around is one caring, non-judgmental adult to be a part of their life... and I see very few people willing to make the effort to reach out and be that adult. Of course it's so much easier to stand back, point fingers at the parents, and demand harsh punishments, than to actually DO something that might prevent this kind of horrible tragedy.

When you actually sit down and talk to at-risk kids, two things become abundantly clear: (1) they are woefully lacking in social and constructive problem-solving skills; and (2) they have a deep, pervasive belief that no one gives a flying fuck about them. So. What's more effective in the long run? Address this on a grass roots, each-one-teach-one basis, or wait until they kill or maim someone & then put them "under the jail" (as my mother used to say)?

If you want this kind of thing to stop happening, get involved. Become a Big Brother/Big Sister. Join some other mentorship program in your community... most churches have some type of ministry like this. Volunteer at your neighborhood school or community center. Or just start smiling at the kids in your neighborhood and asking them how they're doing, instead of clutching your purse tighter and looking sidelong at them. You would be surprised at how great an effect such a small action can have.

I am sorry if this offends anyone, but this issue has been very heavily on my mind for some time now, and my feelings on this are the basis for the grant proposal I'm struggling through at present.

[kat (1)]

We are seriously failing our children.

All it takes to turn a troubled child around is one caring, non-judgmental adult to be a part of their life... and I see very few people willing to make the effort to reach out and be that adult. Of course it's so much easier to stand back, point fingers at the parents, and demand harsh punishments, than to actually DO something that might prevent this kind of horrible tragedy.

When you actually sit down and talk to at-risk kids, two things become abundantly clear: (1) they are woefully lacking in social and constructive problem-solving skills; and (2) they have a deep, pervasive belief that no one gives a flying fuck about them. So. What's more effective in the long run? Address this on a grass roots, each-one-teach-one basis, or wait until they kill or maim someone & then put them "under the jail" (as my mother used to say)?

If you want this kind of thing to stop happening, get involved. Become a Big Brother/Big Sister. Join some other mentorship program in your community... most churches have some type of ministry like this. Volunteer at your neighborhood school or community center. Or just start smiling at the kids in your neighborhood and asking them how they're doing, instead of clutching your purse tighter and looking sidelong at them. You would be surprised at how great an effect such a small action can have.

I am sorry if this offends anyone, but this issue has been very heavily on my mind for some time now, and my feelings on this are the basis for the grant proposal I'm struggling through at present.

I agree with you on the mentoring piece. In my occupation I have several youth in the Wayne/Washtenaw county area who desperately need mentoring services. They just do not exist. I have been calling a local organization (that I will not mention here) for awhile now and noone even answers the phone. Alot of these kids have undiagnosed emotional illness stemming from parents with undiagnosed emotional and/or drug problems who are in denial. We live in a society were children are parenting their own parents.

[Der Nister]

If you want this kind of thing to stop happening, get involved. Become a Big Brother/Big Sister. Join some other mentorship program in your community... most churches have some type of ministry like this. Volunteer at your neighborhood school or community center. Or just start smiling at the kids in your neighborhood and asking them how they're doing, instead of clutching your purse tighter and looking sidelong at them. You would be surprised at how great an effect such a small action can have.

Mentoring is a great idea and I believe it does help. Do I think it helps kids that set other kids on fire over a video game? No. Those kids are beyond mentoring.

Now, asking people to help mentor in today's world is difficult considering most adults that would be ideal for this have children of their own to raise, are having trouble making ends meet financially.

Sorry, I don't mean to shoot down your post because I agree with you that kids need someone to guide them. If only more communities would pull together and realize we need to work together to solve these problems/prevent this from happening again.

Those are just some of my thoughts on this.

[AstralCrux]

Has anyone ever done a study on whether these kids even have a shot in hell of being released again and becoming reasonable memebers of society. Not even productive, but at least not harming anyone?

I personally just don't think about mentoring, or rather I haven't because my own family breaks my damn heart. I'd most likely end up trying to sue for custody of the kid I tried to mentor. And, I can't afford to do that.

[pomba gira]

Has anyone ever done a study on whether these kids even have a shot in hell of being released again and becoming reasonable memebers of society. Not even productive, but at least not harming anyone?

With proper support, yes. But not if they're placed in the adult corrections system.

And, DN, most mentors I've encountered are retired people, empty nesters, or folks like me. People who are still raising their own kids tend not to have the patience and perspective to effectively mentor at-risk kids. And being a mentor doesn't have to cost anything beyond transport to where the kid is. The idea is intensive, no-pressure quality time, not spending hours every day or buying stuff.

[EAF (1)]

On a side note...no one who comes from the adult corrections facilities has really a chance in hell at reasimulating into society without help, which unfortunatly there is no real system for yet. Some people are made criminals in prison and released worse than what they got sent to jail for.

This is one story that helped me to narrow down what area of teaching I want to go into and now I am thinking 12+ years old rather than my original idea of 10 years old and down. However this has always been important to me. I have seen many kids in bad situations from friends to just people from school. My own mother had more of an impact on an 8th grader than she ever has on my own life. (most times anyway.)In this instance I saw a first hand experiance of someone who just needed someone to pay attention to them.

For those who don't know my goal since I enjoy psychology greatly but wanted to be able to apply it without spending 10 years in school, is to be a special eductaion teacher and work with emotionally impared students which means a k-12 certification. The students from broken homes that usually get squeezed out of schools are the ones i'm hopeing to work with and to genuinly impact. I have worked through and helped many kids in these situations even within my own home town on a one-to-one basis and have learned some things about what leads to success for some and what may doom others. Even though i'm young I do have important experiance with a lot more than I feel as a child I should probably have been exsposed to. But people who need help flock to me which helped to pick a career I could connect with people in.

A lot of this as well needs to be addressed on a government level. Right now there are so many holes in programs for children that too many are slipping through cracks that could otherwise be fixed. There are a lot of things higher up that need to be patched for certain systems to ever even work right like they should. Unfortunatly all you can do is help with the things within your reach and hope it branches out into something greater.

I realize we can turn around the kids who are headed that way with some TLC but what about the ones who became adults and now won't listen or have their own families that they abuse on a daily basis...should we not hold them accountable for telling their kids they are useless? For starting that rolling avalanche of loniliness that leads so many children astray? What about parents who seem fine on the oustide...nice house, job, family, ect. that just can't "handle" their kids, the people who blame their children and not themselves for how they turned out? There are also problems with the "mob mentalities" of today as well as many other pyshological or medical factors that make it harder than just some TLC to help some children.

The original reasoning for the posting of this story was not to bitch and moan, but to vent about how I don't see many real role models anymore. As adults we need to remember that everything we do directly and indirectly with children sets some form of example. It just makes my heart weep to think the growing messeges we are sending as a soicety make some children think these things are the only possibilities, that actions such as these are exceptable.