What makes you feel like your losing your mind?

[EAF (1)]

What things literally make you feel like you've finally lost your mind? Like you just woke up and have no idea where you could possibly be because things are just too fucked up...

Today was one of those kinds of days for me with a news story I saw and read about a 15 year old boy being lit on fire over $40 owed on a video game and the victims dad's stolen bike. Long story short a 15 year old boy was left fighting for his life after a few other 15 year olds and a 13 year old poured rubbing alcohol on him and set him on fire burning 65% of his body all over him being a "snitch".

Another instance that has stuck with me has been over a roomfull of peers laughing about a man shooting himself after being made fun of by his fellow policemen for being raped by someone he pulled over. The room laughed and I was awestruck by the stupidity I found myself drowning in.

The basic lack of realization people have for others makes me physically sick and makes me feel mentally unstable. Is it so common now for others to face such horrors that we find society no longer batting an eye when such things happen? Shouldn't we still find it within ourselves to be outraged by such atrocities? Why then does it feel almost socially out of place to have this much concern for our societies reactions?

[jynxxxedangel]

Anytime I hear about someone sexually molesting a small child, or brutally maiming or beating a baby to death, it makes my soul sick beyond repair. It also makes my heart absolutely bleed, to hear any instance of severe animal cruelty.

This is why I very seldom watch the news. There's always that chance of hearing, or seeing, something that just can't be washed away from my memory.

Edited November 10, 2009 by jynxxxedangel

[candyman]

The protests for the military funerals. They showed up for my friends funeral a few years ago and surrounded the church. They even followed all the way to the graveyard. The only bright point was the hundreds of Harley riders blocking the view with American flags. However, there are more funerals and there are more and more protest groups every time. Before it was just live soldiers that took all that shit...now the dead ones will too.

Oh and people blaming that Ft. Hood shooting on religion...when what really happened contained little to no religion at all.

[EAF (1)]

I agree with your sentiments.

What my greatest concern is over that we as a society allow these things to continue. I'm just glad that there are people whose hearts are bleeding over these things because a lot of people I come into contact honestly don't give a shit until it affects them personally.

[Homicidalheathen]

I think as the world gets more and more over crowded, lack of empathy will be rampant. Actually think it might be a normal built in preservation thing.

[Guest Megalicious]

Last night I was leaving school when there was this woman. She had three kids and was YELLING at all of them in the MOST GHETTO voice possible " I never should have had you damn kids". IT MADE SO SO ANGRY I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING. I just snapped. I mean WTF, WHY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES would you EVER say that to a child. I makes me so sad. YOU KNOW YOU DID'NT HAVE TO HAVE THEM! IF YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, NUTURE THEM, GUIDE THEM TO BE GOOD and DECENT PEPOLE, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE THEM!!!!!!????? I just don't understand and it makes my heart really break for those kids. *sigh*

Any kind of animal cruelty. Jarod sometimes tells me I am more empathic and caring with animals then I am with people. Which is kind of saying a lot because those that actually know me, or are friends with me on any other level, know I am pretty generous to most , as long as you don't give me a REASON to dislike you. I donate to 2 shelters regularly as well as wish list stuff for the animal shelters 2 or 3 times a year.

The homeless. I am a sucker for the homeless and perhaps it is because I can empathize SO MUCH. I volunteer at the Robert J Delonis Center in Ann Arbor ( a shelter) and will give a buck or two, a meal and to regulars at the shelter I know, let them use my shower if needed. THE THING I HATE IS PEOPLE THAT WALK BY AND PRETEND THESE PEOPLE DON'T EXIST. THEY ARE PEOPLE TO! THEY HAVE FEELINGS, THEY HAVE PRIDE, THEY HAVE WANTS AND NEEDS AND DREAMS.... for fucks sakes they are just people.... and they deserver some common respect to be seen, heard and cared for. It just literally breaks my heart to see them treated like they are subhuman, pieces of trash, or non existent.

[bean]

Things that make me feel like I'm losing my mind:

Anytime decent human beings are made to suffer.

When animals are abused.

Ignorant people.

The antics of my husband's ex wife.

[Scales]

I have things I think are messed up. But I really don't have a catalyst other than maybe truth-seeking and depression for making me feel like I'm losing it. I guess loneliness and anxiety work in collaboration and play a role. If I see something traumatic, that trauma will eventually heal at least somewhat. Whereas, seeking greater truth about life is an ongoing process to me.

[Joey Deadcat]

These thoughts and feelings that I always believed were antithetical to how I'd like to think I am.

[StormKnight (1)]

Waiting for an answer about my future.

[TygerLili]

There's a long list of things that I absolutely cannot understand that make me want to scream and pull my hair out.

People who joke about someone dying, being raped, or being brutally abused or attacked. My mama raised me to believe that stuff isn't funny, ever.

Pedophiles. What would possess any adult to look at a child as a sexual thing is completely beyond me.

Animal cruelty. I'll probably get flak for this, but cruelty toward animals upsets me more than cruelty toward humans. That's not to say the latter doesn't upset me...

Protesting anyone's funeral, for any reason. Even if the deceased was a total scumbag, his or her family deserves the right to mourn for and bury their loved one in peace.

Bigotry. It's 2009! Continuing to treat someone like less of a person because their skin color, sex, sexual orientation, religion or culture is different from yours is just unfathomable.

And those are just the ones that get me all upset. There are other, less harmful things that people do that still make me feel like the world is going insane, but they don't make me as outright angry as the above mentioned things.

[Slogo]

Whenever I dream about her and wake up it feels like she dies every morning and I can't stop it

[jynxxxedangel]

Friend of the Court, and certain branches of Michigan government, make me feel like I am losing my mind daily. Try getting a human being on the line, who actually gives a shit, when you call any of these places...you will fail.

Also high on my list, is the total lack of decent employment opportunities in this state. It's no wonder Michigan is going broke, the way this place is run-- business-wise, and government-wise.

Edited November 11, 2009 by jynxxxedangel

[EAF (1)]

People abusing systems that are already in place is another things that at times makes my skin crawl...I have friends even who get federal grants and financial aid to go to school...and they blow it on gas they used to go to the movies or a new computer that they "needed" while their parents still pay for everything else they use and do. These people ahve no idea what things really cost! Or people who have a free ride to school and decide it's not worth their time to even show up to class and try. It makes me want to scream at times especially since I work my ass off and because i'm white, female, middle class, my parents actually saved money, and i'm under 24 I can't get any damn help!

Another example is people who abuse medicade free health care and people who use food stamps to buy pop and then return it still filled with pop so they can get cash and use it for probably something stupid. (If you can't buy pop and even just take and drink the pop and then return the cans for cash, your up to no good.)

Also the fact that my paycheck goes to pay for crap that I don't even get to use and yes I know it also pays for medicare and social security but come on...with the way things are going...i'm 20 now and even some people in their 40's will never see the social security they'll be owed. The ratio right now is for every one drawing it out two people are paying in...it used to be a lot higher ratio. People now...a teacher at the school I attend, is going to be retiring with $80,000 a year from social security for being a music teacher for 10 years. wtf? I know a lot of other people who teach who will never see that figure let alone draw it from the government.

[Draco1958]

being in love with someone who not only can't love you back but doesn't even really see you at all.

[KatRN05]

Disorganization especially at work. I'm really nitpicky about lines, well because I work in Trauma ICU and my patients are really sick. I like things labelled so I know what drip is going through which port and I absolutely hate when they are tangled and twisted and left hanging on the bed instead of in the line holder on the siderail, just drives me mad. I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm really anal about things like that, but I'd rather have that stuff organized instead of having to constantly look around to see which vasoactive drip is going where when my patient is crashing. Drives me insane, I tell you.

[pomba gira]

The overwhelming feeling that I was born into the wrong world, always greatly intensified by the kinds of things Jynxxxie & Meg mentioned.

[the eternal]

The things many of you mentioned, like insensitivity and abuse make me angry.

They make me outraged.

They make me sad for society.

But they don't make me feel like I'm losing my mind

My ex, on the other hand, is a different story.

She's got the one thing I love more than anything in the world.

That I took care of more than her.

That I invested every bead of sweat to.

That I lost because I have a penis, and because I moved.

She's got twice as much money as she was supposed to get from me.

And yet------

she'll never be happy.

She'll never stop resenting me.

She'll never get over the wrongs she feels I did to "cause" her to physically and emotionally abuse me for.

Because abusers don't see their flaws.

And now she can't stand that no one will have her and that I'm not there to put up with her shit anymore.

And so she calls and says nasty things.

And she emails and accuses me of the same things she's guilty of, which she knows gets me riled up.

And she says horrible horrible things to people we know, even children, that make me look like

a complete asshole

and a loser

and worthless,

which she made me feel during all those years we were together to ensure that I was co-dependent on her and would never leave.

And no matter how much I intellectualize it, it doesn't change how her attacks make me feel inside.

The anger.

The pain.

The years of self loathing as the person I loved continually let me know how much of a complete waste of flesh I was.

And she knows what she's doing.

She's baiting me.

She wants me to slip up. She wants me to attack her.

But most of all she wants to engage me in conflict.

She wants the knock-down drag out fights we used to have, because at least that would be interaction.

She says the most awful things about me, my lifestyle, my love of music and film

(long story short without obscenities--loving those things are immature),

the most awful thngs about my wife, my job, my ability to care for others.

And it hurts

And I can't stop it from hurting.

Because she's a master manipulator.

And she knows exactly how to phrase it or how to act to push my buttons.

And if I don't respond, it eats me up inside.

And if I do respond, I'm playing right into her hands,

so she can carry on some sort of interplay where she gets to make me feel like garbage,

and I just go on the defensive.

Like an innocent man screaming under a hot single light bulb in a police interrogation room,

defending himself as he's being examined by the actual murderer.

In her world, she's done nothing wrong and never will.

And she is so angry, such a toxic person that she only gets pleasure by causing me pain.

And I try SO FUCKING HARD to not let her get to me.

But

sometimes

sometimes

sometimes

she'll say something that cuts a little too deep

or she'll grab my arm and threaten me,

and then laugh because she knows the police won't do anything.

or she say something terrible about bean.

And in those times,

occasionally

it becomes too much and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Which in the end, is exactly what she wants.

Edited December 26, 2009 by the eternal

[Msterbeau]

  On 12/26/2009 at 2:55 PM, the eternal said:

The things many of you mentioned, like insensitivity and abuse make me angry.

They make me outraged.

They make me sad for society.

But they don't make me feel like I'm losing my mind

My ex, on the other hand, is a different story.

She's got the one thing I love more than anything in the world.

That I took care of more than her.

That I invested every bead of sweat to.

That I lost because I have a penis, and because I moved.

She's got twice as much money as she was supposed to get from me.

And yet------

she'll never be happy.

She'll never stop resenting me.

She'll never get over the wrongs she feels I did to "cause" her to physically and emotionally abuse me for.

Because abusers don't see their flaws.

And now she can't stand that no one will have her and that I'm not there to put up with her shit anymore.

And so she calls and says nasty things.

And she emails and accuses me of the same things she's guilty of, which she knows gets me riled up.

And she says horrible horrible things to people we know, even children, that make me look like

a complete asshole

and a loser

and worthless,

which she made me feel during all those years we were together to ensure that I was co-dependent on her and would never leave.

And no matter how much I intellectualize it, it doesn't change how her attacks make me feel inside.

The anger.

The pain.

The years of self loathing as the person I loved continually let me know how much of a complete waste of flesh I was.

And she knows what she's doing.

She's baiting me.

She wants me to slip up. She wants me to attack her.

But most of all she wants to engage me in conflict.

She wants the knock-down drag out fights we used to have, because at least that would be interaction.

She says the most awful things about me, my lifestyle, my love of music and film

(long story short without obscenities--loving those things are immature),

the most awful thngs about my wife, my job, my ability to care for others.

And it hurts

And I can't stop it from hurting.

Because she's a master manipulator.

And she knows exactly how to phrase it or how to act to push my buttons.

And if I don't respond, it eats me up inside.

And if I do respond, I'm playing right into her hands,

so she can carry on some sort of interplay where she gets to make me feel like garbage,

and I just go on the defensive.

Like an innocent man screaming under a hot single light bulb in a police interrogation room,

defending himself as he's being examined by the actual murderer.

In her world, she's done nothing wrong and never will.

And she is so angry, such a toxic person that she only gets pleasure by causing me pain.

And I try SO FUCKING HARD to not let her get to me.

But

sometimes

sometimes

sometimes

she'll say something that cuts a little too deep

or she'll grab my arm and threaten me,

and then laugh because she knows the police won't do anything.

or she say something terrible about bean.

And in those times,

occasionally

it becomes too much and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Which in the end, is exactly what she wants.

[pomba gira]

  On 12/26/2009 at 2:55 PM, the eternal said:

The things many of you mentioned, like insensitivity and abuse make me angry.

They make me outraged.

They make me sad for society.

But they don't make me feel like I'm losing my mind

My ex, on the other hand, is a different story.

She's got the one thing I love more than anything in the world.

That I took care of more than her.

That I invested every bead of sweat to.

That I lost because I have a penis, and because I moved.

She's got twice as much money as she was supposed to get from me.

And yet------

she'll never be happy.

She'll never stop resenting me.

She'll never get over the wrongs she feels I did to "cause" her to physically and emotionally abuse me for.

Because abusers don't see their flaws.

And now she can't stand that no one will have her and that I'm not there to put up with her shit anymore.

And so she calls and says nasty things.

And she emails and accuses me of the same things she's guilty of, which she knows gets me riled up.

And she says horrible horrible things to people we know, even children, that make me look like

a complete asshole

and a loser

and worthless,

which she made me feel during all those years we were together to ensure that I was co-dependent on her and would never leave.

And no matter how much I intellectualize it, it doesn't change how her attacks make me feel inside.

The anger.

The pain.

The years of self loathing as the person I loved continually let me know how much of a complete waste of flesh I was.

And she knows what she's doing.

She's baiting me.

She wants me to slip up. She wants me to attack her.

But most of all she wants to engage me in conflict.

She wants the knock-down drag out fights we used to have, because at least that would be interaction.

She says the most awful things about me, my lifestyle, my love of music and film

(long story short without obscenities--loving those things are immature),

the most awful thngs about my wife, my job, my ability to care for others.

And it hurts

And I can't stop it from hurting.

Because she's a master manipulator.

And she knows exactly how to phrase it or how to act to push my buttons.

And if I don't respond, it eats me up inside.

And if I do respond, I'm playing right into her hands,

so she can carry on some sort of interplay where she gets to make me feel like garbage,

and I just go on the defensive.

Like an innocent man screaming under a hot single light bulb in a police interrogation room,

defending himself as he's being examined by the actual murderer.

In her world, she's done nothing wrong and never will.

And she is so angry, such a toxic person that she only gets pleasure by causing me pain.

And I try SO FUCKING HARD to not let her get to me.

But

sometimes

sometimes

sometimes

she'll say something that cuts a little too deep

or she'll grab my arm and threaten me,

and then laugh because she knows the police won't do anything.

or she say something terrible about bean.

And in those times,

occasionally

it becomes too much and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Which in the end, is exactly what she wants.

Christ on a crutch, I would like nothing better than to give her what for.

This fucking subhuman waste of space is making two good people who I deeply care for miserable

and damaging an innocent child in a variety of unforgivable ways

I have heard her in action and she is everything Eternal says and worse.

I don't believe in revenge

I believe in the eternal rule of the Buddha

but I would gladly put on steel-toed boots and curb-stomp this wretched worthless cunt into bloody pulp and then go piss on her grave every day for the rest of my life.

[Lillylu29]

  On 12/26/2009 at 2:55 PM, the eternal said:

The things many of you mentioned, like insensitivity and abuse make me angry.

They make me outraged.

They make me sad for society.

But they don't make me feel like I'm losing my mind

My ex, on the other hand, is a different story.

She's got the one thing I love more than anything in the world.

That I took care of more than her.

That I invested every bead of sweat to.

That I lost because I have a penis, and because I moved.

She's got twice as much money as she was supposed to get from me.

And yet------

she'll never be happy.

She'll never stop resenting me.

She'll never get over the wrongs she feels I did to "cause" her to physically and emotionally abuse me for.

Because abusers don't see their flaws.

And now she can't stand that no one will have her and that I'm not there to put up with her shit anymore.

And so she calls and says nasty things.

And she emails and accuses me of the same things she's guilty of, which she knows gets me riled up.

And she says horrible horrible things to people we know, even children, that make me look like

a complete asshole

and a loser

and worthless,

which she made me feel during all those years we were together to ensure that I was co-dependent on her and would never leave.

And no matter how much I intellectualize it, it doesn't change how her attacks make me feel inside.

The anger.

The pain.

The years of self loathing as the person I loved continually let me know how much of a complete waste of flesh I was.

And she knows what she's doing.

She's baiting me.

She wants me to slip up. She wants me to attack her.

But most of all she wants to engage me in conflict.

She wants the knock-down drag out fights we used to have, because at least that would be interaction.

She says the most awful things about me, my lifestyle, my love of music and film

(long story short without obscenities--loving those things are immature),

the most awful thngs about my wife, my job, my ability to care for others.

And it hurts

And I can't stop it from hurting.

Because she's a master manipulator.

And she knows exactly how to phrase it or how to act to push my buttons.

And if I don't respond, it eats me up inside.

And if I do respond, I'm playing right into her hands,

so she can carry on some sort of interplay where she gets to make me feel like garbage,

and I just go on the defensive.

Like an innocent man screaming under a hot single light bulb in a police interrogation room,

defending himself as he's being examined by the actual murderer.

In her world, she's done nothing wrong and never will.

And she is so angry, such a toxic person that she only gets pleasure by causing me pain.

And I try SO FUCKING HARD to not let her get to me.

But

sometimes

sometimes

sometimes

she'll say something that cuts a little too deep

or she'll grab my arm and threaten me,

and then laugh because she knows the police won't do anything.

or she say something terrible about bean.

And in those times,

occasionally

it becomes too much and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Which in the end, is exactly what she wants.

we should hook your ex up with my ex.. they sound like a match made in Hell....

[torn asunder]

last night, i had no less than 20 "matrix" glitches happen after i got home from work. literally, youtube videos, tv, even when i looked around the house, everything would reset/flip back maybe a half- to one second only. it really made me start to question reality.

tonight, it's just the isolation. the only interaction i had after work was online, and that (after the "glitches" last night) only seems to be 'computer-generated' and not real. hell, it even feels like this is a rerun of something i wrote/did before.

i need something unique to happen tonight... !?

[AstralCrux]

  On 12/30/2009 at 4:09 AM, torn asunder said:

last night, i had no less than 20 "matrix" glitches happen after i got home from work. literally, youtube videos, tv, even when i looked around the house, everything would reset/flip back maybe a half- to one second only. it really made me start to question reality.

tonight, it's just the isolation. the only interaction i had after work was online, and that (after the "glitches" last night) only seems to be 'computer-generated' and not real. hell, it even feels like this is a rerun of something i wrote/did before.

i need something unique to happen tonight... !?

I suppose we could put you in a dress and you can join LillyLu, Katy and myself for girls night out.

[Lillylu29]

  On 12/30/2009 at 5:27 AM, AstralCrux said:

I suppose we could put you in a dress and you can join LillyLu, Katy and myself for girls night out.

If he wears a dress can I peek under it?

[AstralCrux]

  On 12/30/2009 at 6:33 AM, Lillylu29 said:

If he wears a dress can I peek under it?

Heh... Odds are in his favor if he wears a dress that he might get molested by chicks.