Writing project I'm collecting anecdotes for

[bav]

I have a writing project that I'm calling "Where All Da Freeky Bitches At?: A guide on how to not pick up a girl at a goth bar" that I could use some anecdotes for.

What was the worse pick up line you've endured? What kind of wrong assumptions about you were made by a tourist based on your style of dress?

'Fess up!

[phee]

OOhh.... nice

I heard a whitehat/jock try to impress a girl once by saying that he worshiped the devil too once... she simply replied "who?"

[bav]

I always felt that walking up to a woman showing a lot of cleavage and motor-boating them would not work well.

[Msterbeau]

Mostly I just see some douche cruising the dance floor, being completely obvious about his purpose. (Cuz he looks out of place and he's really not dancing and... well... he looks like a douche) They just start dancing really close to some chick without ever saying hi or asking to dance with them and expecting something.. I dunno what... maybe a knee in the groin?

[StormKnight (1)]

The number of times I have been a block against these people...

[Onyx]

I have met a whole lot of 500 year old vampires.

Entertaining to say the least.

[candyman]

Well, I was at the bar while my girlfriend was dancing and an 80's rocker, complete with tight leopard pants, starts towards her. She said that when he got to her he said "Hey I wanna try some of that rought sex you dark-ass chicks like...you know the bitting and chains and stuff." All I saw was he grabbing his crotch HARD and twisting his nipple and she said she asked him if that was what he was looking for. Sadly he kept at it so we left...and I still can't get his poodle hair out of my mind.

I also had alot of people asking me if I was by or if my girlfriend was because most goth people are right?

[Homicidalheathen]

Remember when Star bar Had goth/industrial nights?

I was sitting next to some guy who told me he came there for 'goth sluts' no shit. He went home alone I noticed.

Another time some guy asked me to dance (at CC) who had obviously just been sick. Gross.

Edited November 18, 2009 by Homicidalheathen

[AstralCrux]

I had some tourist try to flirt with me... I really wish I could remember the conversation, but it eventually involved me bitch slapping him. (I do have a fun tendancy to slap some days *giggle*)

[slingerlandstyx]

Ugh...

A tourist once tried to pick Marmee up with the line, "Ever been kissed by a guy in a white polo before?" This was stated promptly before trying to dive in to try to bite her breast, and just after mentioning that he had been going to City since not long after it opened.

Seriously? Did he really think he would have some sort of appeal like this? I don't know ANYONE that would respond to something like thisin a positive manner. Thank yous go to a fellow DGNr for rescuing her in my abscence. (you know who you are) Bastard was lucky I wasn't within earshot.

Edited November 20, 2009 by slingerlandstyx

[Simon Bar Sinister]

Ugh...

A tourist once tried to pick Marmee up with the line, "Ever been kissed by a guy in a white polo before?" This was stated promptly before trying to dive in to try to bite her breast, and just after mentioning that he had been going to City since not long after it opened.

whoa - how old was this dude? CC opened 25 years ago this month!!

[slingerlandstyx]

whoa - how old was this dude? CC opened 25 years ago this month!!

Looked like early thirties. Probably his first or second time, just spewing BS to get himself laid. Some tourists are OK, but this jackass was just there to find himself a "freak" I heard it wasn't his first attempt that night, either.

Edited November 21, 2009 by slingerlandstyx

[Guest Megalicious]

. I dunno what... maybe a knee in the groin?

Once I had a guy tell me that he was a drummer with a not so well known band (that I happen to really like). Lets just say the conversation was ended briefly as I asked him if he had legal changed his name from the real guys name. Embarrassing for him I am sure, a good laugh for me.

[Marmee_Noir]

Ugh...

A tourist once tried to pick Marmee up with the line, "Ever been kissed by a guy in a white polo before?" This was stated promptly before trying to dive in to try to bite her breast, and just after mentioning that he had been going to City since not long after it opened.

Seriously? Did he really think he would have some sort of appeal like this? I don't know ANYONE that would respond to something like thisin a positive manner. Thank yous go to a fellow DGNr for rescuing her in my abscence. (you know who you are) Bastard was lucky I wasn't within earshot.

To clarify a bit. There were 3guys, one on each side of me squashing me and one standing rigt in front of me and the one to my left was that ass who was in the white polo...

And the guys looked like they were in their mid twenties...

[TheGimp]

Many of these are from non-goth guys. Because they tend to be the most amusing. . .

13) You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.

12) Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?

11) I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the

club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to

give it to you anyway.

10) Is that your boyfriend? I think you can do better than that!

(some poser from Ottawa with New York City attitude)

9) So, are you a catholic? (non-goth)

8) So, are you a satanist? (goth)

7) So, are you a goth? (neither)

6) How do you get your hair to do that? / Can you cut my hair

like that?

5) Oh, yeah, [band name] is really great. . . I have all their

rare stuff.

You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want.

4) You look a lot like. . .[choose one: Winona Ryder, Siouxsie

Sioux, Morticia, Elvira, Robert Smith, Edward Scissorhands]

To which you should answer: No, actually, he/she/it

looks a lot like me.

3) I keep all of my most important poems and drawings in this

little book. And I'd like you to have it because they're

mostly about you. (Really cute, lovesick 18 year old goth boy)

2) Greetings... [bows deeply, tips hat]. I'm Bob.

And the Drumroll please..... The award for most

hilarious attempted pick-up of a goth chyck goes to this

frat boy:

1) "Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity

rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.

And if I don't get one soon, they won't let me pledge...

So, if you're not busy, could you come with me to the rush

party tonight?? I'd really appreciate it."

Christa Starr

akasha at athena.mit.edu

1."What does net.goth mean? Hey, are you, like, into that computer

stuff?"

2."So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give

you a full refund."

3."Hi. My name is ****, and I'm a vampire, but only on alternate

Wednesdays."

4.But my favorite of all time had to be when someone walked up to me

and started singing the "Creepy Girl" song from Mystery Science

Theater 3000....

Arnold Friend

spiggy at netcom.com

1.So you're a girl huh?

2.Do you like food?

3.Do you like music?

4.Shhhhhhhhhh...... Don't tell anyone but I'm a vampire. Shhhhhhh.... No

really. and I'm 4000 years old. Really. but now I live in the valley with

my mom.

5.Hey you! You in the black!

6.Wait...... the cure.. right?

7.yeah I know the singer.

8.I just wanted to tell you I think you dance really well. It's like when

you are out there it's like you don't care what anybody thinks.

9.Are you gay?

10.Don't you hate it when people ask you if you are gay!

11.Remember when this club was cool....? you know before everyone I

used to hang out with like got jobs or moved out of thier parents

house?

i got these of google

[TheGimp]

1."Blow me if I'm wrong, but you wanna fuck me."

2."That's a fabulous black corsett and it goes great with those boots,

but they would both look better on the floor next to my bed."

3."Wanna go for a ride in my porsche? It's black..."

4."Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your

affection?"

1."Say something to scare me."

2."I wanted to get your name before one of us dies."

3."Hi, my name's [insert name], what's yours? (*that* one does

wonders.)

4."You're a cadet, right? what the hell are you doing here? I didn't know

any of you had lifes...."

1."Hey, I'm looking for a second girlfriend. How about you?"

2."Know any places to buy Absinthe around here?"

3."What's your favorite Baudelaire poem?"

4."I bet you don't own a CD player, either."

5."Hey, do you know Joe Radio?"

1."Hello" (used on me once or twice with positive results)

2."Didn't I see you here last week?"

3."Want a drink? I brewed it myself." (it was mead, it was an SCA

event)

4."You know, I always though you deserved better [than your ex]" (I

had just broken up with her best friend\employee,I was sad,

depressed, lonely)

5."Do you know how to turn on the lights of a mercury?" (it was a rental,

(the car, not the girl :-) ))

1.Did you know that you have enough tissue on the inside of your

lungs to wallpaper the entire room?

2.I love your hair, it's black as tires.......

3.Should I buy you a beer now, or wait until after we fuck??

4.Would you like to see my vasectomy scar?

5.Didn't we meet in a previous life?

6.Is that blood, or wine that your having?

7.Can I bum a clove?

8.Is that a rat on your shoulder, or are you just glad to see me?

9.Are you male or female??? (does it matter?)

10.I want to (krunk) you like an animal....

11.Are those [nails/piercings/fangs] real or are they fake?

12.Do you have anything *else* pierced??? (slutty inflection)

13.Once you go black, you never come back...

1.'Do you want to see my stone collection' (it is a variant of the stamp

collection' Belive me or not, it is still working. If you don't have any

stones, then use your skulls, SM-equipment, eyeliners, poems or

Sandman trade card (yuk))

2.After I had been travelling for a while, I came to a city after a long

drive. I was dirty, unshaved and tired... I parked the car, walked

around a corner and saw a girl. I said something like: 'I am lost here,

will you help me out' and she did

[taysteewonderbunny]

I think, Gimp, the idea is to get firsthand accounts.

For whatever reason, I've been lucky enough to have never really had these kind of encounters at City Club. Whenever I've been the subject of unwanted attention, I am in the workplace. Seriously, I guess because they know I have to be polite and can't escape atm.

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