Would I be a slut if I did this?

[BloodCupcake]

I tried to make this as short as posible.

Ok...so theres this guy that me and my 2 best friends met one day. He was with his friend too. He liked one of my best friends and was talking to her for a minute and his friend liked me and was talking to me. They both kissed us before we left and I gave the guy that liked me my number. My 3rd friend just went outside while the guys were talking to us. Sooo....fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I run into him on the bus and he asks for my whole name so he can look me up on Facebook. He does and me, him and my other friend (that he wasn't interested in at first) agree to hang out with him. (My friend that he DID like at first didn't like him). So me and her are texting him the night before and he asks us both do we have boyfriends and he says that he likes us both and wants us both. We hang out with him and he kisses us both and stuff and I'm a little more aggressive than my friend and he's kissing me and all that and other stuff (nothing TOO much though). The next day I text him and I wanna figure out what he wants before we hang out again. Does he want a girlfriend, JUST sex, friends with benefits...what? I tell him he seems to want a friend with benefits type thing since he likes me AND my friend. He tells me thats kinda true but if we end up boyfriend and girlfriend later he would love it. A few more texts are exchanged and then he calls me and basically tells me we gotta talk and then tells me he just wants to be best frineds cause theres this girl that could become his girlfriend and she read the texts we were sending (cause the phone he uses is hers) and started crying cause she really likes him. So he tells me that we should be best friends cause he really likes her and we gotta stop texting. So I'm caught off guard but just say ok.

So THEN he calls me last night and asks do I wanna hang out Friday. I'm just like woooow. I ask him about that girl and won't she kick his ass and TRY to kick mune if we hang out and he says no cause they decided no to be bf and gf unitl they get out of school and that now he can have me if he wants me. I say ok and agree to hang out but I KNOW things would get physical if we hang out.

I ask my friend about it and she says it would be like I'm a slut cause he's just usuing me unitl this other girl decides to be his girlfriend. But now I know that he doesn't want a relationship and I'm cool with that. Although I DO wish he would have told us he had a potential girlfriend from the start. I know if I hang out with him it's just gonna be mostly physical and stuff. I told my friend I didn't mind now cause I know what he wants and I'm cool with not being his gf and yes it was wrong and it does kinda seem like he's just using me for physical reasons but idk. What should I do? I need opinions and answers. The thing is I want physical stuff (being 21 and a virgin is no fun) and now that I know how it is I'm ok...but would I be stupid for hanging out with him considering what he did?

[Raev]

So let me get this straight.

Everyone knows the score and you aren't fucking him?

Not a slut. Maybe a little bit of a tease though

Furthermore - if you are ok with it, who cares?

[creatureofthenyte]

Sounds like a real winner.

Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

Never make someone a priority if they consider you to be just an option.

Lose him, you can do better, you're quite young still, you have plenty of time.

[Lillylu29]

It most deffently dont make you a slut. I think that was wrong of her to say that but eh whatever. Do what you will just as long as the cards are out on the table. If he's gonna lie to you well shit that just aint cool. If he's doing muti-gals then please use a condom. if he refuses it then dont do it. Id hate to see what would happen if you didnt use it. Dangerous world out their. Remember that!

Sex can be fun, but love your not missing out on anything if you dont feel its right then by all means dont. you want to make sure that someone is gonna make sure your comfortable and knows how to treat a lady her first time *smiles*

[Slogo]

I don't necesserily think it'd be be slutty but then again I don't believe those that make the point known that they only want sex are slutty at all. Just one looking for a good time.

That being said, really make sure it's what you want. I've been with enough virgins to know that there is somewhat of an inadvertent grasp toward "the one". Now I'm not saying you'd be like this (as I don't really know you). But you have to make sure that it's what yo want.

Don't let anyone ever say anything is slutty unless while in a monogomous relationship you're putting out like Catherine the Great.

[BloodCupcake]

Well I'm not planning on having sex with him really although I'm sure he wants me to. I'd want my first time to be a little bit more special than this. I'm gonna TRY to wait until I at least have a serious boyfriend to have sex. With him itd; probably be just other physical stuff...nothing too extreme.

[Eevee]

Alright...as a virgin to another virgin...

I don't think you're slutty...even we want a little bit of physical lovinz without having it lead to sex. And...I've had some friends-with-benefits before. If you know you wont get too attached if he doesn't want to be with you...then, why not?

You are free to do what you wish.

You have different morals then your friends.

I have plenty of friends who would find me slutty if they have heard of even how FAR I've gone and not even the facts. But I'm not a slut (though I admit I got rather promiscuous last winter...as some DGNers know...to my dismay). But I am not a slut.

And I don't believe you would be either.

Its not like you're doing this with multiple guys either.

Just make sure he knows you aren't planning on having sex with him.

[Rev.Reverence]

Alright...as a virgin to another virgin...

I don't think you're slutty...even we want a little bit of physical lovinz without having it lead to sex. And...I've had some friends-with-benefits before. If you know you wont get too attached if he doesn't want to be with you...then, why not?

You are free to do what you wish.

You have different morals then your friends.

I have plenty of friends who would find me slutty if they have heard of even how FAR I've gone and not even the facts. But I'm not a slut (though I admit I got rather promiscuous last winter...as some DGNers know...to my dismay). But I am not a slut.

And I don't believe you would be either.

Its not like you're doing this with multiple guys either.

Just make sure he knows you aren't planning on having sex with him.

...EEVEE ROX!

[Eevee]

...EEVEE ROX!

Ehh? What? lol

[AstralCrux]

I don't think you're a slut, but I think he's the type of guy I enjoy bitchslapping. He's not worth fooling around with IMO, but if you don't mind that kind of game that's cool.

[Rev.Reverence]

Ehh? What? lol

...OH...um...I agree with what you said...sorry for breakin' out into the 80's speech there...

*adjusts shirt to cover oldness*

[kat (1)]

your no slut for sure but I would not be at this guys mercy. Don't let him think that he has "got" you. I agree with AstralCrux about the bitch slapping part. Play his ass before he plays you.

[bean]

The guy is a douchebag. Drop-kick his ass.

[Homicidalheathen]

I think the term slut only applies if one has full sex otherwise your a tease

btw who needs to know just dont tell ANYONE next time, no problems.

[Msterbeau]

The guy is a douchebag. Drop-kick his ass.

Yeah.

Enjoying sex, even with multiple partners does not make you a slut. That's a word insecure people use to make you feel bad about yourself. Fuck that shit.

There's really two issues here. One... Are you a slut for wanting to fool around. Two... is the guy worth fooling around with. My opinion.. No on both counts.

If the fucker can't make up his mind and is sucking you into a bunch of drama over it... Not worth it.

[torn asunder]

Yeah.

Enjoying sex, even with multiple partners does not make you a slut. That's a word insecure people use to make you feel bad about yourself. Fuck that shit.

There's really two issues here. One... Are you a slut for wanting to fool around. Two... is the guy worth fooling around with. My opinion.. No on both counts.

If the fucker can't make up his mind and is sucking you into a bunch of drama over it... Not worth it.

agreed...

[AmieLamie]

No, you wouldn't be a slut.

I've had similar..relations..

It's just friends with benefits, and I don't think there could be too many.

Unless there's like 100/month or something.

[jynxxxedangel]

Something tells me, that this guy sees you as an easy target. He is fully expecting to pick your locks.

I wouldn't give him the time of day, personally.

[Samhain]

I'm with Msterbeau, he's nothing but a smooth asshole, and if that.

Kick him in the head for being greedy, you can do better.

The slut thing isn't in question I don't beleive, but I agree with most everyone on this thread. He's just trying to satisfy is spur of the moment urge for a new girl (hence him wanting you and your friend) it seems he went out of his way to contact you and not your friend because you're the more aggressive one and he probably thought you'd be easier to be honest...

Toss that loser where he belongs, and warn his 'girl' if you can, he's a douchebag that will cheat on his significant other with anything (a slut, his sister, dogs, cats, turtles, etc.)

[candyman]

This dude sounds like me a few years ago...yeah he pretty much is the past me. Swift kick in the nuts and then wait a few years for the bad relationships to tear him a new one. If he learns and you wait it may pay off. But now is not a good time to be around a monkey that has happy hands. I would just keep looking if I were you. This has soap-opera type drama written all over it.

[TygerLili]

Life would be better if we all eliminated the word "slut" from our vocabulary.

Bottom line: sounds like he does want to use you. If you know that up front, it doesn't bother you, and you want to keep it casual, use him back. Just be careful about forming any type of emotional attachments to this guy, because he sounds like a player who would not make a good boyfriend. Also, as someone else already said, make sure he knows that you don't want to have sex. Personally I would steer clear of this guy, but you have to figure out what you want from him, if anything.

[BloodCupcake]

Yeah I figured he's a player. I'm not sure he'd make the best boyfriend. But I think all I DO want is the physical connection. We all need it sometimes. And if I started developing feelings for him, I'd get out early before they were full blown. He never objected to being my boyfriend down the line but I'm not sure I'd even want hil to be now. I think if I know he's a player and I am only using him too for physical stuff and maybe just a casual friendship then I wouldn't be getting played. I'm not sure if I'll hang out with him or not tomorrow though, still. Idk.

[AstralCrux]

And if I started developing feelings for him, I'd get out early before they were full blown.

You would think... But, when you've been through some nasty mentally abusive relationships like I have- you'll just run now. Sometimes, you can loose your confidence, because you don't realize that all those little things start adding up. But, you've been in too long and didn't realize you fell for him... It's just bad.

I'm giving you the 20/20 hindsight now.

[jynxxxedangel]

My suggestion:

Leave Douchey the Clown to find some silly little nobody, with no self-esteem, to play his games with. He only wants to get his dick wet.

I think you are too good for the likes of him. Players become players, because they always get their way with weak-minded and weak-hearted females.

Find yourself a nice, lonesome, mild-mannered geek-boi to play with-- and toss that over-confident barracuda back into the nightclub dating pool, where he belongs. He has predesignated himself to a lifetime of superficiality and loose ends. Don't stoop to his level. No matter how lonely you are, creeps like him aren't worth your time.

Edited November 21, 2009 by jynxxxedangel

[Slogo]

My suggestion:

....Leave Douchey the Clown....

I could not make it any further than that

Edited November 21, 2009 by Slogo