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There's an App for that....


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Or there should be. Apple claims there's an app for everything on their iPhone, but I think we know that's not true. Describe an app you'd like to see that probably doesn't exist. This is fantasy, so don't worry about pesky little things like reality and physics. :p

I can think of two:

The Dating App: When you're out on a date, it scans your date's body and brain, tells you all their TRUE characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, potential compatibility and a chemistry score. If the score does not meet a predetermined threshold, the app will initiate an emergency bailout sequence. There would be a component that keeps track of how much money it saved you by aborting early. :evil:

The Childraising App: What parent doesn't need some good advice with respect to kids? The app monitors situations as they develop and has suggestions ready to go so you have choices instead of just winging it and potentially turning them into a stalker or serial killer. The answers each come with a potential future consequences component so you can decide which course of action will least (Or most) warp your little one's mind. Comes complete with every answer needed for when junior starts in with the "but why" response to everything you tell them.

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Or there should be. Apple claims there's an app for everything on their iPhone, but I think we know that's not true. Describe an app you'd like to see that probably doesn't exist. This is fantasy, so don't worry about pesky little things like reality and physics. :p

I can think of two:

The Dating App: When you're out on a date, it scans your date's body and brain, tells you all their TRUE characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, potential compatibility and a chemistry score. If the score does not meet a predetermined threshold, the app will initiate an emergency bailout sequence. There would be a component that keeps track of how much money it saved you by aborting early. :evil:

The Childraising App: What parent doesn't need some good advice with respect to kids? The app monitors situations as they develop and has suggestions ready to go so you have choices instead of just winging it and potentially turning them into a stalker or serial killer. The answers each come with a potential future consequences component so you can decide which course of action will least (Or most) warp your little one's mind. Comes complete with every answer needed for when junior starts in with the "but why" response to everything you tell them.

...it can text you with a family emergency, yes?

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Or there should be. Apple claims there's an app for everything on their iPhone, but I think we know that's not true. Describe an app you'd like to see that probably doesn't exist. This is fantasy, so don't worry about pesky little things like reality and physics. :p

I can think of two:

The Dating App: When you're out on a date, it scans your date's body and brain, tells you all their TRUE characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, potential compatibility and a chemistry score. If the score does not meet a predetermined threshold, the app will initiate an emergency bailout sequence. There would be a component that keeps track of how much money it saved you by aborting early. :evil:

The Childraising App: What parent doesn't need some good advice with respect to kids? The app monitors situations as they develop and has suggestions ready to go so you have choices instead of just winging it and potentially turning them into a stalker or serial killer. The answers each come with a potential future consequences component so you can decide which course of action will least (Or most) warp your little one's mind. Comes complete with every answer needed for when junior starts in with the "but why" response to everything you tell them.

Add to the dating app "also determines their current relationship status/views."

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The Argument Diffusion App: When the person you are speaking to says something that sparks something negative in you and you don't feel like arguing, the Argument Diffusion App gives you the appropriate positive response to whatever that person said.

The False Joy App: Whenever someone says something that is upsetting, but you don't want that person to know that you are upset, the False Joy App will tell you the right thing to say and modulate your voice so you sound happy.

The False Joy App and the Argument Diffusion App are generally used together.

The Yapping Dog App: When the neighbors dog barks for an extended period of time, the Yapping Dog App sends a signal through the air that caused the dog to stop barking.

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Well, if someone could find a way to take advantage of the USB circuitry in the dock connector to use it for I/O, we could make a thermistor with one, add the right app, and bingo! Room thermometer.

With inspiration from Pat McManus:

The Life Preserver: "There are a number of life preservers for use by stream fishermen on the market now, but like so many other inventions designed for the outdooorsperson, their creators have stopped short of the mark. The basic idea of these life preservers is that if you fall in the water they can be inflated by blowing into a tube. Wit the kind of water I generally fall into, I don't want to wast any time blowing on some dumb tube. On some of the falls I've taken, I probably could have blown up a seven-man life raft before I hit the water if mere floating had been my chief concern. To hell with floating-- what I need in the way of a life preserver is something that really preserves my life. As I see it, this would be a recording device installed in fishing vests. While I was contemplating whether to cross a peeled sapling over a sixty-foot-deep river gorge or possibly to make a running leap to land on the moss-covered rock in the middle of some rapids, the life preserver would activate automatically and shout through two stereo loudspeakers set at full volume 'DON'T TRY IT, YOU FOOL, DON'T TRY IT!'" --Pat McManus, "A Fine and Pleasant Misery."

I was thinking that there could be something, like the camera in the iphone that would warn you against doing things that are absolutely stupid.

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