Age differences

[Raev]

Now, me personally - I tend to use the rule of thumb of 3up/3down...which at my age puts my dating range at 27-33 (that is, if I hadn't sworn off dating until finished with school). Reason being - it means I'd have been able to go to high school with that person back in the day, so we've lived through the same changes in the world. When I start to piss and moan about hearing Nirvana on the oldies station (which, I have) - I'd like the other person to be able to say "Wow, I remember when that was new..." right along with me.

I'll flirt with the younger ones, because I like to flirt - but I really personally don't think it could work out ever. At my age, I think about buying my house (I'm shopping for one), my 401k, planning my next trip out of state and two trips out of country etc.

I know very few younger women with the same mindset.

Now, I have a cousin who has it down to a formula. 1/2 of your age +7 for the youngest, your age + 1/2 of your mothers age at time of your birth -1 for oldest (putting her closer to his age, than his moms).

For me it would be 1/2 of 30.. 15+7=22 for the youngest. 30+9 (ma was 18 when I was born) -1=38 for oldest. I find that slightly absurd.

Now, are we overcomplicating/overthinking things? Do you think a large age difference can work? What's your age rule? Share with the class

[Enishi]

I think it depends entirely on the mental age of the people in question, and how their personalities/goals work together.

[Nate Kriepp]

Um, you'd think it's every guy's fantasy to date a younger woman...my girlfriend is 24 and I just turned 40. It took me a long time to not feel like an absolutely useless fossil (we've been together just over a year now). I guess it helps that as far as maturity is concerned, we're about the same.

I'd always suspected that everyone under 30 was larval. Suprise, suprise.

[Raev]

I think it depends entirely on the mental age of the people in question, and how their personalities/goals work together.

You are what, 28ish?

You'd not feel strange being in a relationship with someone who is 18? Legally an adult..but a decade of difference?

[phee]

The heart wants what it wants... Unfortunatly so do the loins....

Just make sure you are not hurting anyone... doing anything illegal.... and that it is a well informed healthy choice....

Personal rules are fine, but make sure you follow the rules as stated by the LAW.

[Rev.Reverence]

O_M_G & I are a year & 2 months apart...R~H~ & I are 7.5 years apart...

...we are all strangely mature & immature at different times, & even at once, so, we melt good.

[Der Nister]

I think it depends entirely on the mental age of the people in question, and how their personalities/goals work together.

That is true.

[Rev.Reverence]

...I think, as you age, the years can get further apart...

.....but, if I were dating a single young lady, I think, I'ld want her to at least be able to pick me up Scotch on the way over

......& I CERTAINLY understand the teen-to-30s gap..big gap to bridge with all that emotion & feelin'...

[Lillylu29]

I Go 10 years for a limit I guess I would average.

Don't know why but looking back its been 10 years older, and 10 years younger I don't expect the younger ones to last with me... Their just fun to play with. But hey if one can hang with me Great.... Cause its mostly about whom you are compatable with and can be with and who you fall inlove with. Age would just be a number at that point.

[TheLordOfSins]

I find commen interests to be the most important, I personally like people who are interested in mostly the same thing as myself, with a few differences to make things interesting. Otherwise, I could care less about age as long as it's within legal limits as stated above. But that just means, them being younger it's harder to find someone who's mature and older makes it hard to find immature enough. lol

[Eevee]

Uhm...well, I think it depends on the situation and the people. Some people are more mature and open to such cases.

For me...now that I'm 19, I would stretch down to 17. And stretch up to 23, with maybe a couple exceptions depending. Though my mom is always an issue...she dislikes me dating men older then 22, usually. And she keeps ranting...bahh!

But as I age, I change my range.

Edited November 30, 2009 by Eevee

[Ice Queen (1)]

There is no rule. Of course, I never liked to follow them anyway. I have seen large differences work, and no difference not work, as well as vice versa. I think I actually have an undeserved wrap as being a cougar type, due to the large numbers of males 10+ years younger than me that seek my company. They seek me, not the other way around. Honestly, it is men closer to my age and older that pique my interest more. Not to say that the younger ones do not or can not, just less often, for reasons not unlike what Raev listed. There are many males that have years on their side, but are less of a man then their younger counterparts. There is issue with the older as well. I have dated much older, believe me, they didn't look it! The problem was differences in interest in social activities. Partially due to age difference, but I am sure not an issue with all, as different people have different interests. More important than numerical age, is the person. For me, if they have their shit together, drive me crazy in that good way, make me feel like I should be made to feel, and we enjoy each others company, then what the hell does age have to do with it?

[Oh_My_Goth]

The young ones are good for teaching.. Not relationships.

I don't think anyone should get serious until they are well into their 20's.. Like mid-20's.

You just really don't know what you want at a young age.. You young-ins can disagree all you want, but I'm right, and you will learn that soon enough

Someone in their 30's and so on trying to get into a relationship with someone who is around 18 probably has some control issues

Young people are often very naive, and fall in love easily.. It is not cool for an older adult to take advantage of this... Even if they seem like they know "what's up", they most likely do not.

Now, don't get Me wrong.. I flirt like hell with the younger ladies.. I love so much about them.. Their tiny-ness, their cuteness, their malleable minds. Yet I stay away from traditional relationships with them.

[Enishi]

You are what, 28ish?

You'd not feel strange being in a relationship with someone who is 18? Legally an adult..but a decade of difference?

With the 18yr olds I would feel strange because with 99.99% of them their mental age just isn't high enough. Of course, I've encountered 30 something 18 yr olds as well, lol.

Edited November 30, 2009 by Enishi

[StormKnight (1)]

There is no rule. Of course, I never liked to follow them anyway. I have seen large differences work, and no difference not work, as well as vice versa. I think I actually have an undeserved wrap as being a cougar type, due to the large numbers of males 10+ years younger than me that seek my company. They seek me, not the other way around. Honestly, it is men closer to my age and older that pique my interest more. Not to say that the younger ones do not or can not, just less often, for reasons not unlike what Raev listed. There are many males that have years on their side, but are less of a man then their younger counterparts. There is issue with the older as well. I have dated much older, believe me, they didn't look it! The problem was differences in interest in social activities. Partially due to age difference, but I am sure not an issue with all, as different people have different interests. More important than numerical age, is the person. For me, if they have their shit together, drive me crazy in that good way, make me feel like I should be made to feel, and we enjoy each others company, then what the hell does age have to do with it?

Couldn't said it better.

[KatRN05]

My limit is 2 years younger and 5 years older than me. I say this now but things change.

Edited July 3, 2010 by KatRN05

[n0Mad]

The heart wants what it wants... Unfortunatly so do the loins....

Just make sure you are not hurting anyone... doing anything illegal.... and that it is a well informed healthy choice....

Personal rules are fine, but make sure you follow the rules as stated by the LAW.

Here's a sentence I don't say too often, "I agree with the liberal atheist." LOL!

Age difference really doesn't matter so much as maturity level. I have dated a girl 10 years younger than I and she just had this wisdom of ages about her and we could really relate. I also dated a woman a year older than I and she could just be so immature at times I wish she would've just grown up. But, I'm also engaged to a woman a year older than I am and we get along great, relating on multiple levels. And I've tried dating a girl a little over 10 years younger than me and she was just so out of touch with things it wouldn't have really worked.

So, age is mostly irrelevant for me as long as everything else works out. But, as Phee said, my absolute minimum for who I'll date is whatever the legal age of consent is for the state I'm in. (Michigan is 16 btw.) Maximum? I haven't really given that much thought.

[Ice Queen (1)]

Couldn't said it better.

You've been accused of being a cougar?

I have made the joke as far as how young I would go, "If they can't buy me liquor, what use do I have for them?"

Seriously, even though age isn't a deal breaker, at some point, how realistic is it? How likely is it that someone under legal drinking age is going to be enticing to me? Not very! Even just for play time. Thinking about it, since I've been out of high school, I only messed with one person under 21, and that was a decade ago.

I have the advantage of years on my side, I can go out with a man that is 10 years younger, and he is a man in every sense of the word. If I were younger, That would probably not be the case.

[bean]

The eternal is older than I am (not by a lot, but enough), and it works well.

When I was dating:

I preferred men who were 5-10 years older than me. I generally was not attracted to men who were younger than me.

I preferred women who were a few years younger than me (as long as they were over 18). I usually wasn't attracted to women who were older than me, though there were a few exceptions.

Edited November 30, 2009 by bean

[BloodCupcake]

I don't like being the older one. I wouldn't feel right dating a younger guy...like 18, 19. I don't think I'd mind if we clicked but I would feel weird trying to go to a bar but he can't get in. I'd feel old. If anybody is even a little bit younger than me I feel old cause I'M used to being the younger one. But if the guy was 20 I wouldn't feel too old. For girls I wouldn't mind dating a 18, 19 yr old girl if we clicked. As far as how older I'd go.....that just depends on if we click, do you look like you're 60 but you're really 27, and stuff like that. I always think of guys in bands wo are waaay older than me but who I'd date if we clicked well. Josh Todd is hot for a 40+? yr old among other guys.

[Msterbeau]

I dislike setting firm rules because there are ALWAYS exceptions. Bearing in mind some of the issues the Raev pointed out about having compatible touchstones, I tend not to worry about literal age and gauge more on where there mind is at with relation to mine. I've dated 15 years in either direction at some point in my life. Preference-wise A youthful (Looks and soul) woman in her mid-30's is probably ideal. The one significant thing that an older woman will always have over a younger on is experience. There is a certain wisdom and confidence that pretty much only comes with age..

[Tacohitts]

It only becomes a problem when you are 100% judge by age as a mindset,I know some people who are wher one person is only half the others age,but they share awesome similarities.

[Tacohitts]

Now, me personally - I tend to use the rule of thumb of 3up/3down...which at my age puts my dating range at 27-33 (that is, if I hadn't sworn off dating until finished with school). Reason being - it means I'd have been able to go to high school with that person back in the day, so we've lived through the same changes in the world. When I start to piss and moan about hearing Nirvana on the oldies station (which, I have) - I'd like the other person to be able to say "Wow, I remember when that was new..." right along with me.

I'll flirt with the younger ones, because I like to flirt - but I really personally don't think it could work out ever. At my age, I think about buying my house (I'm shopping for one), my 401k, planning my next trip out of state and two trips out of country etc.

I know very few younger women with the same mindset.

Now, I have a cousin who has it down to a formula. 1/2 of your age +7 for the youngest, your age + 1/2 of your mothers age at time of your birth -1 for oldest (putting her closer to his age, than his moms).

For me it would be 1/2 of 30.. 15+7=22 for the youngest. 30+9 (ma was 18 when I was born) -1=38 for oldest. I find that slightly absurd.

Now, are we overcomplicating/overthinking things? Do you think a large age difference can work? What's your age rule? Share with the class

going out of the country would would be your best bet on meeting women,IMO.

[prick]

I dont think a huge age gap makes a relationship possible. The older you get the larger the gap can be. like a 80 year old with a 60 year old is fine but a 40 year old and 20 year old is doomed at the start. I like em all ages, races, and builds but I know which ones I have a future with.

[Raev]

going out of the country would would be your best bet on meeting women,IMO.

I couldn't care less about meeting women, personally. As stated in my opening - I am personally choosing to focus on school instead.