Calling Men

[Onyx]

I am not that brave. I always assume hes mad at me or sick of me and then i am terrified he will never call me again. I feel forgetable..... i know i like him more then he likes me and that spells disaster for me. People make it seem like everything i say to him has to be scripted or i will scare him. I have to be patient.

ARGH. I can't hold my tongue on this!

You are hotter than hell. Seriously, have you looked in the mirror? Not forgettable. Unforgettable.

Also on top of that and even more important, just from your posts on here you seem to be a really sweet gentle person. He should be the one who is terrified not to hear from you and very happy to see that you had called.

Maybe the has the flu or something? See what he has to say before you let yourself get upset. Things can happen and could be he will call really soon.

(Or maybe he isn't worth getting upset over and there is a really great guy who IS worth your time and who will treat you as well as you seem to be willing to treat him).

[Raev]

ARGH. I can't hold my tongue on this!

You are hotter than hell. Seriously, have you looked in the mirror? Not forgettable. Unforgettable.

INORITE?! JEEBUS!

[TheGimp]

ARGH. I can't hold my tongue on this!

You are hotter than hell. Seriously, have you looked in the mirror? Not forgettable. Unforgettable.

Also on top of that and even more important, just from your posts on here you seem to be a really sweet gentle person. He should be the one who is terrified not to hear from you and very happy to see that you had called.

Maybe the has the flu or something? See what he has to say before you let yourself get upset. Things can happen and could be he will call really soon.

(Or maybe he isn't worth getting upset over and there is a really great guy who IS worth your time and who will treat you as well as you seem to be willing to treat him).

THANK YOU ONYX!! yes Kitty you are one very beautiful girl and from the posts ive sen you make and judgeing by your personality you are indeed quite the catch, if the guy cant see that...its his damn loss, find a man worth your time thats ganna show an interest in you

Edited December 3, 2009 by TheGimp

[torn asunder]

THANK YOU ONYX!! yes Kitty you are one very beautiful girl and from the posts ive sen you make and judgeing by your personality you are indeed quite the catch, if the guy cant see that...its his damn loss, find a man worth your time thats ganna show an interest in you

have to agree...

[Homicidalheathen]

I agree a total package such as yourself need not wait around however...if he has a good explanation such as work...a death in the family...illness...only time will tell if he was just blowing you off or lying.

[Nienna]

I am not that brave. I always assume hes mad at me or sick of me and then i am terrified he will never call me again. I feel forgetable..... i know i like him more then he likes me and that spells disaster for me. People make it seem like everything i say to him has to be scripted or i will scare him. I have to be patient.

I was engaged to a man who did this crap to me for 3 YEARS! I am still struggling with the nasty mental conditioning he put me through and it is negatively affecting my current relationship because I'm just not able to trust anymore. Don't let it happen to you. It sounds like he's playing games... and you're worth so much more than that. *hugs*

[torn asunder]

It sounds like he's playing games... and you're worth so much more than that. *hugs*

i will say though, based on my own personal style, he might not be playing games. some guys just don't need constant connection for things to be good. unless things are getting really serious for me, it's nothing for me to only talk to someone i'm dating maybe twice a week. it's no game, it's not me intentionally being inconsiderate, i just don't need to be in constant contact, and i do have a lot of things that occupy my life. i can be very busy at times.

along that same train of thought, if i were dating someone and they got upset that i didn't call right back (not just once or twice, but all the time) i'd be turned off by it. to me, it comes across as insecurity (not saying anyone is). confident, self-assured women can handle a day or so without talking. (again, my feelings, not saying everyone does or should agree.)

just wanted to share that viewpoint!

[Msterbeau]

i will say though, based on my own personal style, he might not be playing games. some guys just don't need constant connection for things to be good. unless things are getting really serious for me, it's nothing for me to only talk to someone i'm dating maybe twice a week. it's no game, it's not me intentionally being inconsiderate, i just don't need to be in constant contact, and i do have a lot of things that occupy my life. i can be very busy at times.

along that same train of thought, if i were dating someone and they got upset that i didn't call right back (not just once or twice, but all the time) i'd be turned off by it. to me, it comes across as insecurity (not saying anyone is). confident, self-assured women can handle a day or so without talking. (again, my feelings, not saying everyone does or should agree.)

just wanted to share that viewpoint!

While I agree with you, in general... not getting back with someone reasonably promptly when they've asked you to call back is kinda rude. You can always say "I'm tied up, can I call you tomorrow" or something along those lines...

[TygerLili]

i will say though, based on my own personal style, he might not be playing games. some guys just don't need constant connection for things to be good. unless things are getting really serious for me, it's nothing for me to only talk to someone i'm dating maybe twice a week. it's no game, it's not me intentionally being inconsiderate, i just don't need to be in constant contact, and i do have a lot of things that occupy my life. i can be very busy at times.

along that same train of thought, if i were dating someone and they got upset that i didn't call right back (not just once or twice, but all the time) i'd be turned off by it. to me, it comes across as insecurity (not saying anyone is). confident, self-assured women can handle a day or so without talking. (again, my feelings, not saying everyone does or should agree.)

just wanted to share that viewpoint!

I see what you're saying, and I am kind of the same way (if I've only been dating someone a couple months I rarely call them more than 3 times a week) but if the other person called you (the generic you, not you specifically), it's very rude not to return their call within a reasonable amount of time. Stuff happens sometimes, and we can't get to the phone, but if a guy made a habit of taking more than a day to return my calls, I'd lose him.

I totally agree on the confidence, though.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

I am not that brave. I always assume hes mad at me or sick of me and then i am terrified he will never call me again. I feel forgetable..... i know i like him more then he likes me and that spells disaster for me. People make it seem like everything i say to him has to be scripted or i will scare him. I have to be patient.

do you feel like everything you say to him has to be scripted? if so, why?

[Constantin]

well all i have to say is from something i use to hear on 95.5 (support your big guys we try harder) or something along those lines really what i am saying is find someone that wants similar things be it ltr or fwb or what nots. but yeah us big guys do try harder. Them pretty boys can be a bit full of themselves it happens. i think its because they get spoiled with attention so they feel they can pull crap like being a dick or ignorring you just to see what happens. again big guys are more appreciative of the attention.

Edited December 3, 2009 by Constantin

[littlepinkkitty]

do you feel like everything you say to him has to be scripted? if so, why?

No. But my aunt keeps telling me not to make myself too available. She says to let him chase me. I cant deal with it anymore i am gonna find some one else to take me out. I am not going to sit and wait around for im to call or come over fuck him. I care about him but i cant put myself through this misery anymore its not worth it. He is a busy guy with all the grad school apps he is doing but it takes two seconds to send a text. We are not a couple so i can date whoever i want and i am gonna find me a good man who takes my calls and has time for me. If it ends up working out with this guy i like then okay but i should keep my options open. I want a boyfriend for fuck sake! A good jewish boy.

[Msterbeau]

You're aunt is wrong. You shouldn't play games just as much as guys shouldn't fuck around and mess with your head.

[littlepinkkitty]

i know if he calls saying "can i come over" and i want to see him why cant I? I dont play games. At the same time i need to not let men i like walk all over me. To me if i cant be honest and be my true self and say what i am feeling then thats a problem. I dont want to be with someone who is gonna be scared off because i have strong feelings for them and show it. I dont call over and over. I dont even call every day. I am ready for a serious relationship and dont want bull shit. It is a unique situation with him but i dont want to wait around anymore.

[Hellion]

i know if he calls saying "can i come over" and i want to see him why cant I? I dont play games. At the same time i need to not let men i like walk all over me. To me if i cant be honest and be my true self and say what i am feeling then thats a problem. I dont want to be with someone who is gonna be scared off because i have strong feelings for them and show it. I dont call over and over. I dont even call every day. I am ready for a serious relationship and dont want bull shit. It is a unique situation with him but i dont want to wait around anymore.

Dealt with that one too many times,I usually do the 3 strikes and your out,it really pi##es me off when guys do this and then all the good guys get labeled the same,I refuse to keep calling and called,if I don't hear back after the third call,I delete their number off my phone and delete them out of my life as well,I do not blame you at all for being upset about this.

[torn asunder]

While I agree with you, in general... not getting back with someone reasonably promptly when they've asked you to call back is kinda rude. You can always say "I'm tied up, can I call you tomorrow" or something along those lines...

very good point - i forgot to say anything about that. if it's going to be more than an hour or so, i'll at least try to text & say i'm busy but will call around XX:XX. i try not to completely neglect things!

[littlepinkkitty]

Conclusion......he dumped me....only he says we have been friends with benefits even though i was under a different impression. He still wants to be freinds with me and said i can call him if i need to talk but i am not calling him ever. We started a couple and then were gonna slow down and he says friends with benefits! What an asshole! I cant belive i would go pick him up at 2 A.M. so he could sleep here. I feel so stupid but I am happy that its ending because i want someone who is going to give me 100% and call me back for fuck sake! I am hurt because i care for him deeply but i am not going to dwell on this one. I am gonna hang out with friends and family and worry about me for once.

[torn asunder]

Conclusion......he dumped me....only he says we have been friends with benefits even though i was under a different impression. He still wants to be freinds with me and said i can call him if i need to talk but i am not calling him ever. We started a couple and then were gonna slow down and he says friends with benefits! What an asshole! I cant belive i would go pick him up at 2 A.M. so he could sleep here. I feel so stupid but I am happy that its ending because i want someone who is going to give me 100% and call me back for fuck sake! I am hurt because i care for him deeply but i am not going to dwell on this one. I am gonna hang out with friends and family and worry about me for once.

i'm sorry, but at least now you know, and can move on and focus on yourself.

[Raev]

I am gonna hang out with friends and family and worry about me for once.

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

Guess it depends, how busy the guy is. If you work alot..that could be major factor.

-CatsEye

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

Conclusion......he dumped me....only he says we have been friends with benefits even though i was under a different impression. He still wants to be freinds with me and said i can call him if i need to talk but i am not calling him ever. We started a couple and then were gonna slow down and he says friends with benefits! What an asshole! I cant belive i would go pick him up at 2 A.M. so he could sleep here. I feel so stupid but I am happy that its ending because i want someone who is going to give me 100% and call me back for fuck sake! I am hurt because i care for him deeply but i am not going to dwell on this one. I am gonna hang out with friends and family and worry about me for once.

Poor Goldie *hugs yah tghtly*

-CatsEye

[taysteewonderbunny]

If it's any consolation, you are crushed on majorly. But, yeah, please put yourself first. You deserve to have your dreams come true.

[StormKnight (1)]

If it's any consolation, you are crushed on majorly. But, yeah, please put yourself first. You deserve to have your dreams come true.

:

[littlepinkkitty]

y'all are terrific! I am deciding whether or not to find a date for new years so i get a kiss at midnight....tee hee

[Raev]

y'all are terrific! I am deciding whether or not to find a date for new years so i get a kiss at midnight....tee hee

The line will form in a few moments time, I'm sure.