"The Fatitudes"

[Dubh Aingeal]

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and

spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and

Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy

Kreme. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said: "Yes!"

And Woman said: "I'll have one, too...with sprinkles." And they gained 10

pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure

that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,

and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to

size 14.

So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the

side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp,

butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its

own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with

potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into

chips and deep-fried them in animal fats, adding copious quantities of

salt. And Man packed on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose

those extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so

Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed

and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra

jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and

still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent

double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?" And Man

replied: "Yes! And super size 'em! And Satan said: " It is good." And Man

and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery. Satan chuckled and

created HMOs....

[Brenda Starrr]

Damn, that's funny. And true.

[LuthienTheFallen]

dont be trying to blame satan for mans misgivings

[gothicmom]

:smiling: *LOL*

[Nevar (5)]

For sure, I'll 2ND that!