Have you ever tried to kill yourself?

[pomba gira]

If life is a test, the proctor can take the paper it's written on and cram it in any of half a dozen orifices, of his/her choice.  I'm not here to pass anyone's test.

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WORD!!! No one ever asked me if I wanted to be in the fuckin school to begin with... so I sure don't feel any obligation to sweat some arbitrary "test".

The one time I was really ready to off myself, I had it all planned out, felt good about it, wasn't sad anymore... so I was heading home to do it & I met an angel who told me to live. So I did.

I longed for death pretty much throughout my 20s & into my early 30s, but that was the closest I ever came to actually doing it. Unless you count being very greedy & careless with dope... when I lived in SF I used to go-out on a weekly basis & several times was hauled off to the ER & abused by paramedics (they seriously don't like dealing w/ODs, guess I can't blame 'em tho). But that wasn't trying to die as much as just not caring whether I did or not.

I have overcome the severe depression I lived with back then... I don't feel any more at home in this world tho, & doubt I ever will. But, I'm still here because I really want to try & get off the wheel this time around, & I'm afraid that if I check out with unfinished business it will bind me here. Also I hate the idea of causing my loved ones pain, and believe that would also pull me back. And I was always terrified I would survive an attempt but be hopelessly brain damaged & a burden to myself & everyone around me. Finally, surviving a potentially fatal accident 10 years ago convinced me that I still had unfinished business... so I put the idea of suicide away for good. I still think of it as an option if things ever got unbearable for whatever reason... but not the way I used to, when life seemed too painful to endure on a day-to-day basis.

[Nienna]

I think so to.  Well, it's either that or love but i think one can only achieve love through an extensive and complex episode of despair.

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Oh. In that case, I could write the book on it...

[Vater Araignee]

I went free form climbing in the Smoky Mountains and got about 150' up and decided to jump, pine trees broke my fall got 5 broken ribs and 3 cracked plus scrapes from hell and back. Glad I didn't die the memory of the fall is fucking awesome.

I inserted a feeder tube and got on a treadmill, unfortunately when I passed out and fell the mill pulled it out of my arm.

I have a good scar running 3/4 of the length of my forearm. Somebody called father and he found me on the mound Chrysler test track in a stupor fraged on muscle relaxers the doctor said the the relaxers most likely saved me.

Tried to hang my self fucking 10" thick tree limb was termite eaten and snapped and I got attacked.

When my wife and I where around 25 she overdosed. That was the first time I ever felt true fear not common sense caution but terror "Its ok for me to go but not you. The world needs people like you." So I stooped to keep her from having to come back to this shit hole. I'm dead and I'll have to suffer another death but she still has a chance to ascend and start living.

well, to my credit, at least on a bike, the only one who'd die is me...  :erm

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And the person you collide with when you fly through their wind shield.

[soothsayer]

No, because I plan to outlive every fucking mutherfucker that ever wronged me. 

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That's right !!!!!!!!!! :devil

[Homicidalheathen]

I know its bad to try or even think of killing ones self but....thank you all for being so open and honest.

I don't feel like such a freak now.

This thread was very important to me.

[TomCat]

That's right !!!!!!!!!!  :devil

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SEE!, Now that's what I'm talking about!

[DarkChylde]

One time I slitted myself and poured a table spoon of morton's salt in the open wound.

[Vater Araignee]

One time I slitted myself and poured a table spoon of morton's salt in the open wound.

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OOOOO NOW THATS GOTTA let you know your alive.

[Homicidalheathen]

That is not suicidal at all. We should start a S/M pain thread. I do that to. I usually don't cut myself on purpose anymore but do like to use the cut wounds I do get for stinging sensations. I like new skin. Rip it off, put on again...burns like a mother f***er. So does rubbing alcohol.

One time I slitted myself and poured a table spoon of morton's salt in the open wound.

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[pomba gira]

One time I slitted myself and poured a table spoon of morton's salt in the open wound.

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"... If it don't burn ya don't know what you're doing..."

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Other than a really pathetic attempt when i was a young kid , not really no.

Thought about it a lot, especially since the car accident. But never actually tried it. I think nowadays, if i ever "tried" i wouldn't be around to post about it.

It wouldn't be a "cry for help" it would be an , "im outa here" and i'd make sure i did it right.

But when it comes down to it. If im healthy (relatively speaking) there's not much risk of me REALLY offing myself (i could maybe see doing it if i got so sick there was basically no hope of ever getting better)

But I had someone very close to me kill herself in a unbelievably graphic way that scared me for a long time. Not sure i could do that to the people i care about.

*gets really emotional* Fuck you world! Im not going down without a fight !!!

[Paper Hearts]

I've never been in a mental hospital, taken perscription drugs to fix my head or talked to a counciler but 10 minutes ago, i seriously considered running out the window, here. What stopped me is that i work on a basement level. -That's right, everyone, Paper Hearts works deep below the city in a subterenean layer!

[Guest MsMaldoror]

The only time I seriously tried to kill myself was when I was 8 years old and didn't really understand what I was doing. I drank rubbing alcohol and tried to poison myself. It tasted terrible, and yes, that's an understatement.

[DarkChylde]

"... If it don't burn ya don't know what you're doing..."

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LOL Somone finally caught on to that.

The only time I seriously tried to kill myself was when I was 8 years old and didn't really understand what I was doing.  I drank rubbing alcohol and tried to poison myself.  It tasted terrible, and yes, that's an understatement.

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Funny, I thought I was the only one who tried rubbing alcohol before.

[Morbid Side]

The name says it all. I've been beaten down so far in my life, that I don't even care anymore. The thought of how should I do it? I wanted it done quick and painless of course. I did not want to suffer. Plus, I didn't want to leave behind some greusome scene of violence for someone I care for to discover..I stole my friends dads .44 caliber and went up to the mountains and found some cave climbed deep inside, and then put the gun to my head eagerly awaiting to blow my brains out. But I did not go through with it...

At any rate, my life right now as it is here is far too unpleasant to possibly tolerate anymore. I mean, shit, day after day waking up, a hateful experience to be sure of everyone: being robbed of the only joy in my life, and thats little to none at all the blissful escapism of the dreamworld..

Hmm another time that sticks out in my mind was when I was driving into a freeway overpass post doing 90 and nearly went head-on with another car..

I've walked out countless times in traffic hoping somebody would squash me like a bug.

I've tried to drown myself underwater failed miserably as I sunk to the bottom of the pool and someone ran out trying to pull me up for my last breath..

I have attempted to electricute myself.

As you can see the patterns in my suicide attempts seem to differ each time, but yet I was never fully able to do it. Part of the reason is like Dark Chylde mentioned it's selfish and no matter how shitty your life may be someone out there has it worse..

[bean]

When I get depressed I like to drive on the expressway for hours at a time, and there has been a few times where I have seriously considered flooring it and smashing into the breakwall or a tree or something...but then I remind myself that there is the possbility that I will not die and things will suck even worse. *shrugs*

[ManicQueen]

I tried to kill someone else before.. does that count?

[pomba gira]

LOL Somone finally caught on to that.

Funny, I thought I was the only one who tried rubbing alcohol before.

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ha, I was surprised Vater A. didn't pick up on it... he seems to be the Psy lyrics man!

I knew some kids who burned down a house (where about 10 or 12 people were crashing at the time) drinking rubbing alcohol... one kid was sleeping in a closet & didn't make it out.

I guess the moral is, if yr gonna be a rubbie, have a fire extinguisher handy... or at least make sure you're not in an ancient tinder-like frame house.

[Hellion]

:devil I also thought about shooting an air bubble in my vein; which is guarenteed DEATH.

[Saephyr]

WELL I have an interesting one for you...I was having an adverse drug reaction and didn't realize that hearing voices and music tat isn't there is a BAD thing. I saw my face kind of sinking into my skull and screamed to my boyfriend because I wasn't sure...but I thought I had just swallowed a couple fists full of Tylenol for some reason. I couldn't tell if it was live or memorex. Come to find out...it was. I've been out of the hospital for a llittle while now but I was in for 2 months.

After the o.d. and migraines from hell, :blink Kinda had a GRAND MALL SEIZURE just when I was getting into my car from a counselors office...woke up in St. Mary's and was post-styctal but still had to be tied to the gurney. :woot:

You wanna talk fucking scary...that was it. I'M playing the damn DOCTOR now cuz if the fuckers are gonna kill me with meds then I'd just as well choose my own way which is NO way :tear Assholes scared me half to death

[Hellion]

:devil For some reason the thought of self inflicted death is in my head again.

Ill have to ignore it as usual

[granted]

at the time you couldn't see

no one beats gravity

[Nerdcore]

I like that one granted.. I have thought about recently just putting myself out of missery but I am chicken and own go through with it. Actully I recently asked someone to kill me .. I am in alot of pain right now.. I dont want to brag and be a bitch .. but i wish somone woud ljust kill me .. I am so chicken..

[Slept with ghost]

at some point we think nobody would care if we killed ourself but if we did killourself somebody closer to us then we think would feel the same way as we did when we died

[Homicidalheathen]

The od and side effects....was that all an accident or did you take to much on purpose?

WELL I have an interesting one for you...I was having an adverse drug reaction and didn't realize that hearing voices and music tat isn't there is a BAD thing. I saw my face kind of sinking into my skull and screamed to my boyfriend because I wasn't sure...but I thought I had just swallowed a couple fists full of Tylenol for some reason. I couldn't tell if it was live or memorex. Come to find out...it was. I've been out of the hospital for a llittle while now but I was in for 2 months.

After the o.d. and migraines from hell,  :blink Kinda had a GRAND MALL SEIZURE just when I was getting into my car from a counselors office...woke up in St. Mary's and was post-styctal but still had to be tied to the gurney.  :woot:

You wanna talk fucking scary...that was it. I'M playing the damn DOCTOR now cuz if the fuckers are gonna kill me with meds then I'd just as well choose my own way which is NO way :tear Assholes scared me half to death

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