DJ Saint's helpful tips...

[DJ Saint]

Of course most of this is in humor due to Sunday afternoon slowness...

Maybe it's because you have great taste in music (wait, you're not the DJ, so scratch that). Or you love dancing to your favorite song ("OMG!!! I <3 MSI 4eva!!!"). Or you're completely trashed and think hearing Wolfsheims "Once in a Lifetime" for the 5 millionth time will make your night at City Club a little better (seriously, it won't). What ever the reason, at some point in a gawf/industrial kiddies life they will want to request a song from the DJ (Hey, that's me!).

Here's some helpful hints to assist you in tackling the challenge:

• 
  
  
• Ask nicely and speak clearly (in ENGLISH - Do you speak it?). No drunken gibberish. I know, I know, some of those German, Swedish and Mexcian band names are hard enough as is and when you butcher them even further...
  
• Be polite. Please and thank you goes a long way.
  
• Don't say, "Play something good." It's like saying what's playing now is no good, which makes the odds of me playing your request nil.
  
• Don't ask me to play a song again. I won't, and shouldn't, no matter how hot the song is. And no you are NOT that hot to warrant me playing it again.
  
• Don't be demanding. There is a whole bar full of other people that hate your favorite song (KMFDM "Anarchy") just as much as you hate the song currently playing (Peter Murphy "Cuts You Up").
  
• Realize that I don't own or even know every song. Maybe I'll find it and play it next time. Maybe not.
  
• Don't touch anything - including me. Even if you're drunk (which you probably are) and cute (which you certainly aren't), it's inappropriate.
  
• Learn the bands and what songs they do. Learn how to spell them properly. Suicide Commando is NOT SEWSIDE KoeManDoe.
  
• Just because it's your Birthday doesn't mean I am required to play a birthday song for you. If you want somebody to recognize the fact it's your birthday you should have taken your ass to Chuckie Cheese.
  
• Likewise, I'm not interested in hearing special circumstances for why I need to play a song that reminds you of an ex that cheated on you with your sister or you wanna rock out with your c### out or you need to hear Juno Reactors "God Is God" so you can bellydance.
  
• Don't tell me how to do my DJ job by writing/saying something like "play something with more BPM's". In return, I promise not to go into your job and tell you how to flip a burger!!!
  
• Do not request odd music that doesn't fit. Otep, Mudvayne, Atreyu, Insane Clown Posse have never been played at City Club. Every now and then a curve ball is thrown (Lady Gaga) but don't get your hopes up for nu-metal.
  
• Do not request sad music. Much rather see people dancing and moving to music than being sad and gothy. If you want to cry and have a soundtrack provided, stay home and watch the Crow (again)
  
• Don't say "I'll be your best friend forever" to get me to play a song. I already have a best friend, a girlfriend and a core group of good friends (some who don't even come to hear me DJ!)
  
• Don't complain about the music or complain about me as a DJ - If you don't want to hear dance music, do not go into a dance club. Also no need to waste a whole sheet of paper with the words "YOU SUCK" written really large.
  
• If you're a local band and want me to play your stuff, get there early or expect to wait until much later in the evening and I'll be more than likely to MAYBE play it. Also if I'm doing a favor for you by playing your stuff, in return do me a favor by getting me a drink. And if your a certain Detroit area industrial rock band (not naming names here) better make it a CASE of something GOOD!
  
• Don't ever request (insert band name here). Just don't
  

!

again, most of this is intended in humor.

[n0Mad]

It's funny because it's true.

[Raev]

I love you, Saint.

[Msterbeau]

But... I thought you liked it when I touched you? That's what your GF said. *pouts*

[jynxxxedangel]

*puts down her knitting, stands up from her rocking chair, and clears her throat*

Back when I was a young whippersnapper, if folks wanted to hear a particular song, they would TIP the DJ.

[Mean Salley]

It's nice to not have to supply my own daily recommended allowance of sarcasm for a change.

I'm Mean Salley, and I approve of this message.

[freydis]

[TitsMcGee]

*puts down her knitting, stands up from her rocking chair, and clears her throat*

Back when I was a young whippersnapper, if folks wanted to hear a particular song, they would TIP the DJ.

Nice use of the word "whippersnapper" lol

[Jinx]

I would also mention the LARGER you write the song on the request sheet will not in any way shape or form get you're song on faster.

[phee]

Of course most of this is in humor due to Sunday afternoon slowness...

Maybe it's because you have great taste in music (wait, you're not the DJ, so scratch that). Or you love dancing to your favorite song ("OMG!!! I <3 MSI 4eva!!!"). Or you're completely trashed and think hearing Wolfsheims "Once in a Lifetime" for the 5 millionth time will make your night at City Club a little better (seriously, it won't). What ever the reason, at some point in a gawf/industrial kiddies life they will want to request a song from the DJ (Hey, that's me!).

• Do not request odd music that doesn't fit. Otep, Mudvayne, Atreyu, Insane Clown Posse have never been played at City Club. Every now and then a curve ball is thrown (Lady Gaga) but don't get your hopes up for nu-metal.
  
  
  

!

Lol I remember when I first started going and they DID actually play ICP lol... and often.... (I don't miss it all that much don't worry)

Good list sir *bows*

[pleasurekatzen]

I think ALL of us DJ's would agree with this. Thanks, Marc. You win, as always.

[Msterbeau]

I think ALL of us DJ's would agree with this. Thanks, Marc. You win, as always.

You're welcome!

Wait. You mean the OTHER Marc with a "c", right? Damn. :(

[StormKnight (1)]

Humorous and instructive, Marc. I do know you go guys do the job few of us can or want to.

*puts down her knitting, stands up from her rocking chair, and clears her throat*

Back when I was a young whippersnapper, if folks wanted to hear a particular song, they would TIP the DJ.

*raises eybrow*

Are you implying you are an old maid, ya young pup?

[Slogo]

I was listening to Anarchy before i read this...LOL

[phee]

I noticed that all of the subjects listed by Saint avoided the topic of sexual favors....

[DJ Nocker]

Its not humor, its the truth and you know it!

and you are that much cooler for actually saying it.

btw...am IIII your Best Friend (ill buy you a drink regardless the answer because i am your BAMF in training, haha!)

Edited January 21, 2010 by Sluagh686

[Jaysus]

This made me laugh.