Significant Others and Friends

[TygerLili]

How important do you think it is that your significant likes your friends and you like theirs?

[phee]

How important do you think it is that your significant likes your friends and you like theirs?

OMG... that is a tough subject....

They need to at least get along enough to leave you the heck alone about each other, that is not too much to ask I hope.

I could go very far off here... but I really shouldn't

[Nate Kriepp]

OMG... that is a tough subject....

They need to at least get along enough to leave you the heck alone about each other, that is not too much to ask I hope.

I could go very far off here... but I really shouldn't

I second Phee's comments. If your friends don't like your SO or vice versa, I'd hope that they'd at least have the maturity to respect your choices and play nice.

[Fidget(+)]

agreed.

[creatureofthenyte]

Yeah, if they can manage to be civil to each other when they are in each others' presence, I think depending on the personalities of the people involved, and the situation at hand, that's about all you can really hope for.

[EAF (1)]

If they get along with one another then great! But I don't think there should be a pressure there to like your SO's friends...or vice-vera. Now if they're being immature or worse to one another's face...then either your SO or your friends are obviously not the people who you thought they were. I don't think it's important to like their friends, but it is important to be polite and at least civil.

[n0Mad]

I choose my friends because we have something in common. They mesh with my personality, likes, interests, hobbies, etc. I choose my significant other because we have something in common. She meshes with my personality, likes, interests, hobbies, etc. While I don't necessarily expect my s/o and my friends to get along on everything, they should have at least something in common they can connect on. If not, then either I'm not a good match for my friends, my s/o, or both.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

How important do you think it is that your significant likes your friends and you like theirs?

not very

[torn asunder]

I choose my friends because we have something in common. They mesh with my personality, likes, interests, hobbies, etc. I choose my significant other because we have something in common. She meshes with my personality, likes, interests, hobbies, etc. While I don't necessarily expect my s/o and my friends to get along on everything, they should have at least something in common they can connect on. If not, then either I'm not a good match for my friends, my s/o, or both.

[TygerLili]

Personally, my feeling is that as long as he is respectful of the fact that I am friends with certain people I don't care if my fiance gets along with them, other than not to start drama with them if all three of us happen to show up at the same public place.

My fiance and I have very different interests in a lot of ways, so often I think he ends up feeling like he doesn't have much in common with my friends, and I feel like I don't have much in common with his. I like most of his friends well enough, I just don't always feel entirely comfortable around them, or know what to talk to them about.

My fiance has one friend, though, who I don't get along with at all and don't want to be around at all. I avoid him. I think it really bothers my fiance, and sometimes I really wish he'd just let it go and not push me. I have a reason for feeling the way I do. I have a couple of friends who he doesn't want to be around, and I can accept that. I know why they don't get along, and wouldn't push them to try to hang out together.

I just wondered if anyone had any advice or anything on how to deal with that.

[Marmee_Noir]

Depends, does either your S/O or friend(s) have VALID reasons for not getting along.. As for Jeremy and I, the only friend that I care that he "likes or doesn't" like is my bestfriend/counter-part/my ORACLE, we are so alike it's creepy, bestfriend Jean. And my dad. As for Jeremy's friends, lol if I don't like one of them and I have VALID reason not to, well then bye bye! I ask nothing more or less of him then he could ask of me.. If he didn't get along with one of my friends and had VALID reason, then that friend gets a bye bye. My place is next to my "soon to be husband" and his place is by my side. We're a united front!

P.S If I don't like someone, then I DON'T like someone. I'm not going to pretend to like them or pretend to get along with them. I'm not going to go out of my way to be cordial to them nor go out of my way to be rude to them . Plain and simple of it all is that they just don't exist to me. There are many people that Jeremy talks to when we go to city that I just turn around and walk away from.

Edited January 29, 2010 by Marmee_Noir

[taysteewonderbunny]

For me, it is very important, but only when it comes to my absolute closest friends, of which I have only six: my best friend, her husband, my brother, Destiny, my mother, and my significant other. Fortunately for me, they all resoundingly endorse my significant other, though sometimes he himself is somewhat bashful in this regard.

There was a time, or times, or several, or nearly all, occasions, really, when I had stubbornly, defiantly, and blindly stood by my most recent paramour to the concern and trepidation of my support group. It was this experience, however, that taught me two things: 1) how to identify real friends--they are the ones that stick by you even through the worst disasters but without condoning your bullshit. 2) how to identify a good candidate for a significant other--they are real friends.

I am not sure how precisely relevant this information is to your situation since your issue is with your s/o's friend. But it seems that it is also an issue with your s/o if he is not accepting of the boundary you have drawn in this instance.

[Homicidalheathen]

Its not really, it used to be...but when you have been together this long there can be too much alikeness and togetherness...pretty much do my own thing these days.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

*bump*

http://www.alternet.org/sex/150717/what_do_you_do_when_your_best_friend_is_dating_someone_who_is_obviously_going_to_ruin_his_or_her_life/

Edited April 23, 2011 by Simon Bar Sinister