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I Fucking Love Fat Tuesday

Destroit

By Destroit,
in Nightlife, Events & Concerts

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Destroit

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For anyone that knows me well you would probably know that my favorite national holidays, in no particular order, are as follows: MANFAST, Memorial Day, Labor Day...AND, the grand mecca of all things awesome & holiday on the same date: FAT TUESDAY.

I'm not even Catholic. I don't even do fucking lent. I don't even know WHAT lent IS or why Jesus would give a shit whether or not you cut out cupcakes or something equally as trivial for a month, what I do know is that out of my five major ethnicities, aside from the Irish, German, Finnish, and British I am pretty damn fucking POLISH. Hell, my great grandma's last name on my father's name was Galkonski, I'm pretty sure I'm qualified.

As a tradition that I used to do several years ago, I took my little sidekick bff, Rachel, and we went bright and early to New Palace Bakery in Hamtramck where legitimate Polish people prepare over a dozen different types of flavors of the most amazing fried dough pastry ever to grace this good earth. There we stood in line, breathing in the fresh Hamtramck air, shoulder to shoulder (or in Rachel's case it would be face in crotch because she's only 4'9") with the indigenous Polish folk of Hamtramck and taking whiffs of the amazing fried phenomenon of the Glorious Packzi for HOURS (I think usually an hour at least), in the cold sometimes, just because they are THAT fucking awesome.

What am I getting at with all of this? All I want to know is, this year....WHO'S coming WITH MEH?

That's right, I want YOU, to come and indulge in one of the things I like the most in this world with me, and hell, if you make the trip I may even treat you to one. So:

What: The honor and glory of accompanying me down to the Golden Polish Land of Promise and Mind-Blowing Baked Goods

Where: New Palace Bakery, Hamtramck. It's RIGHT downtown, I can't remember the street, but I can drive there. I WILL come back to this later when I'm at my house and give an actual address.

When: February 16th, The Day of All Fat Reckoning, 2pm approximately

How: How...will I find a ride? How will I know where to meet up with Chernobyl? How come Cherny is so awesome that she's treating me to a free jelly filled delicious donut so long as it's not something gross like custard because Chernobyl CANNOT condone ANYONE ruining a packzi by filling it with custard? All of these questions and more can be directed towards my inbox.

This is not a SUPER ultra formal event obviously so if you'd like a casual person to talk to in a casual place at a casual event-type meeting, then I can do that. The only thing I cannot offer you is casual sex. Leave messages if interested!

HELLZ YEAH:

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Edited by Chernobyl
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StormKnight Newbie

StormKnight (1)

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For anyone that knows me well you would probably know that my favorite national holidays, in no particular order, are as follows: MANFAST, Memorial Day, Labor Day...AND, the grand mecca of all things awesome & holiday on the same date: FAT TUESDAY.

I'm not even Catholic. I don't even do fucking lent. I don't even know WHAT lent IS or why Jesus would give a shit whether or not you cut out cupcakes or something equally as trivial for a month, what I do know is that out of my five major ethnicities, aside from the Irish, German, Finnish, and British I am pretty damn fucking POLISH. Hell, my great grandma's last name on my father's name was Galkonski, I'm pretty sure I'm qualified.

As a tradition that I used to do several years ago, for many years in a row, I would take my little sidekick bff, Rachel (pronounced Waychoe), and we would go bright and early to New Palace Bakery in Hamtramck where legitimate Polish people prepare over a dozen different types of flavors of the most amazing fried dough pastry ever to grace this good earth. There we would stand in line, breathing in the fresh Hamtramck air, shoulder to shoulder (or in Rachel's case it would be face in crotch because she's only 4'9" standing on a phonebook) with the indigenous Polish folk of Hamtramck and taking whiffs of the amazing fried phenomenon of the Glorious Packzi for HOURS (I think usually an hour at least), in the cold sometimes, just because they are THAT fucking awesome.

What am I getting at with all of this? All I want to know is, this year....WHO'S coming WITH MEH?

That's right, I want YOU, to come and indulge in one of the things I like the most in this world with me, and hell, if you make the trip I may even treat you to one. So:

What: The honor and glory of accompanying me down to the Golden Polish Land of Promise and Mind-Blowing Baked Goods

Where: New Palace Bakery, Hamtramck. It's RIGHT downtown, I can't remember the street, but I can drive there. I WILL come back to this later when I'm at my house and give an actual address.

When: February 16th, The Day of All Fat Reckoning, 2pm approximately

How: How...will I find a ride? How will I know where to meet up with Chernobyl? How come Cherny is so awesome that she's treating me to a free jelly filled delicious donut so long as it's not something gross like custard because Chernobyl CANNOT condone ANYONE ruining a packzi by filling it with custard? All of these questions and more can be directed towards my inbox.

This is not a SUPER ultra formal event obviously so if you'd like a casual person to talk to in a casual place at a casual event-type meeting, then I can do that. The only thing I cannot offer you is casual sex. Leave messages if interested!

HELLZ YEAH:

Great.

First I had to worry about saying "hi," to the woman.

Then I had to worry about sneak attacks with pancakes, burlap sacks, and rope.

Now I have to worry about jelly-filled packzi coming my direction?!

*runs*

You know I kid, Cher. :wink Sort of. :unsure:

Edited by StormKnight
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pomba gira Newbie

pomba gira

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New Palace is on Joseph Campau... can't remember the cross street but closer to Caniff than Holbrook. They also have fucking incredible cream puffs, eclairs, and the mind-altering napoleons of the gods. I miss living in Hamtramck... but not living above the insane Albanian bar.

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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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I will have to dig out my Packzi recipe for you so you can make then all year long. Also most packzi's don't have filling.

Mine do, and so do the paczkis made by the indigenous Polish people of Hamtramck. See...the Polish in me = Wants Packzi. The British/Finnish/German/Irish-American in me = Wants to impregnate said Paczkis with delicious fruit filling.

See why I'm so torn?

I have a feeling the people down at New Castle Bakery who have probably been baking things since Hamtramck was founded also hear the cries and demands of most Americans.

Edited by Chernobyl
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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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Cher, what do you got against custard? Custard is yummy..

Answer: No

But if you REALLY insist on custard I will not hold it against you personally. I also don't like shelled nuts in things, coconut (I'm with Woody Harrelson's character in Zombieland: It's not the flavor, I love coconut flavored things, it's the texture), and tomatoes.

I also used to hate cottage cheese but now absolutely fucking love the shit...crazy how your tastes change as you get older.

Everything NOT on that three-item list is awesome imo, including anchovies.

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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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now if only man fast met fat tuesday hmmmm Fat man fest!

Oh believe me, if you talked to anyone who has gone to MANFAST you would know that MANFAST, and every other event I try to come up with, is basically Fat Tuesday under the guise of something else.

I easily ate 2-3 lbs of bacon at MANFAST...and that's JUST the bacon. That's not the six burgers, like five steaks, fish, chicken, eggs, sausage, and the ENTIRE slab of ribs I had to myself.

Come to my events and I will make you get your buzz on and then I will feed you until you're sick.

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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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You do all realize...that Fat Tuesday, is a Catholic pre-Holiday...?

It is the day before Lent begins.....a day of excess, before you go into the wilderness to rethink the Way as It applies to you...like Yesu did...before he got nailed to a cross...

Yeah it was explained to me in high school. But I was raised Presbyterian, so we don't do lent but we defiantely reap the results of Fat Tuesday :thumbsup:.

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