How do you feel about intimacy?

[torn asunder]

1) i don't think anyone is afraid of love, they're afraid of the *ending* of love, and the pain it brings.

2) i've tried three times to find the right words to explain how i feel about this, but fail each time. i may try again later...

[Nienna]

I agree. But, I've just gotten so jaded that I won't give anyone a chance in hell. And, the ones that do amuse me get taken just before I meet them. So, I never get beyond mildly amused.

That was my story too. I actually went on OK Cupid and started going out with anyone who seemed even just nice. I met my current SO, who is NOT my type but who I ended up having alot in common with. It'll be a year in a week. LOL Maybe step outside your box? I still am struggling to truly let him in though. *sigh*

[asphyxian_doll]

Love for a part of me (I say a part because I still have a lot of cellular memory) means pain, suffering, abandonment, self hate, and death.

Its what happens when your parents nurture hate, sorrow, pain, blame, and shame/guilt.

One day an old Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson. He said, "There are two wolves fighting inside all of us - the wolf of fear and hate, and the wolf of love and peace." The grandson listened, then looked up at his grandfather and asked, "Which one will win?" The grandfather replied, "The one we feed."

My parents fed fear and hate,

I now have to starve that part of my psyche, and feed love and peace.....

Its a hard road, and I never have a day without feeling anxious.....

But I find I'm getting closer.

[jcheeka]

I met my soon to be ex husband in high school. We got married really young and for a while it was good. I really did think that I was in love with him. As we both got older we grew apart in so many ways. We are just two very different people. The man I am with now there are no words to describe the love I feel for him. I always thought this kind of love was just in the movies. I was never one to close my eyes and jump for a chance at being happy but being with him makes me want to fly and experience everything with him. It is still very hard for me to open up to him but I am trying.

[Guest Megalicious]

How do I feel about intimacy? It is extremely difficult for me not only in the romantic sense, but even in the basic sense of interpersonal relationships of any kind.

Opening up is essentially leaving yourself completely vulnerable to another, and I just lack the trust to be able to do that fully.