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CONFESS!

Joey Deadcat

By Joey Deadcat,
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Shaun Newbie

Shaun

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I confess that I think my roommate and his girl are arguing in his bedroom and I kinda wish they were a little louder so I could hear what it was about. Guess I'll turn on some music instead.

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the eternal
the eternal

Wow! You know everyone is thinking "Are you kidding me?" You really have it going on. And you act like you know it. Without flaunting it. That's hot. From what I've observed, A

Mean Salley
Mean Salley

I was homecoming king my senior year in high school. I shit you not. However, all of the "exclusives", "A" groups and richies in town surely did shit.

the eternal
the eternal

Ok I'm not gonna give you a big tongue bath in this thread like I did for Prick, but a lot of people think you're cool. Over the years you've opened up a lot on the board and injected yourself into

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kat Mentor

kat (1)

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Posted (edited)

"hey, bob, grab this girl a membership card, wouldja!?"

Thanks, at least now I can belong to something.

I confess that I wish I was a cold hearted bitch sometimes that way I could protect my heart. I also confess that I feel like I am too emotional for most people and that I sabotage myself because of this. I can't help it, though, I am a hopeless romantic.

Edited by kat
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the_fairy_gothmother Newbie

the_fairy_gothmother

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Confessions of The Fairy Gothmother.

Well in response to Eternal I actually have a recorded thing on my voicemail which I am just changing now to something different. I like to keep my greetings fresh.

So anyways where do I begin?

I confess I have been in a 3some and 4 some including girl on girl stuff and inter racial (not that race matters to me anyways as never been one to judge anyone based on creed color,religious or sexual status). Ok so though I have a motto of not regretting my past I however am not proud of some of the things I have done. That type of thing is and was not for me. My ex husband wanted to try it out and pestered me and pushed me into it so yeah I guess I should have and could have put my foot down but I was curious and went ahead. Now while I came out of those experiences without any negative effects to my health all protective measures being taken as possible I think it really harmed my relationship. Its for some people and I dont judge anyone into that lifestyle but me personally its not for me for several of my own reasons and beliefs.

Hmmmm let me dig deep here as to what to confess to. Any of you who seen me at MANFAST many know I love 80s music including Starship We Built this City. Nothing that weird I guess.

I confess I am slightly self centered and narcissistic and like attention. Its because I never got any attention as a child because when my brother came along all my mental issues and the attention I was being given ended because mine were not as destructive and as extreme like his. He acted out more while I kept to myself in my lonliness and despair wishing for death to take me away from the early age of of 8 yrs old. I was questioned about early journal writings, sketches and wishing I were dead written on my folders. I found ways to cope better and my true passion for music and art blossomed, although I was still a very lonely friendless child in a chaotic household and suffered many abuses which I wont go into. No my parents did not molest or rape me nor beat me badly. I got corporal punishment and sometimes my dad took things a bit far but I dont blame him as at the time thats what he knew. The basic gist of this is due to a lack of attention I began seeking it positive or negative in school and trying to either fit in or not fit in. Maybe you seen a hint of that at MANFAST? like for instance the beer bong. I HATE BEER! I did nearly barf because not only was it foaming but its disgusting and I did it to be cool. I always say I dont try impressing anyone or I dont care what people think but deep down I do. I do tend to try very hard to fit in in someway or gain acceptance. I mean I dont care as much as I once did I came to a realization and accepted things were the way they were but it doesn't stop me as its sort of a natural habit of mine. I am very self conscious and while I try being super careful on here or in social situations I more often than not stick my foot in my mouth and say really stupid things. The more nervous I get the worse it gets I turn into a train wreck and then people tend to get the wrong end of the stick with me. I am easily misunderstood.

I confess I ramble on. I prattle on and on. I get it from my dads side of the family. I know it annoys people and the thing is I cant shut up until what is on my mind is said. UGH.... I am learning however more and more as time goes on. Its either one way with me. I will either be very quiet and careful not to engage in conversation or I will talk and talk and interupt or but in or not let others in. I hate it. I am also bad with changing topics and bouncing around random subjects. I have ADD and I am easily distracted even by my own thoughts. So along with saying whats on my mind if a new idea is brought up or thought of topic changes. Sometimes I could say talking to me is like channel surfing lol.

I confess I have attempted suicide a few times and been institutionalized. I have borderline personality disorder, bipolar, major depressive disorder, ADD and some anxiety disorders. I take meds for these and see a therapist weekly and bi weekly. I did seek out help for myself because I do want to lvie and I do want to try having a life, friends, family and being happy and experiencing things.

I hit the lowest point in my life early this year when my husband left me so I have had to reinvent and rebuild my life and myself. So I have been slightly more desperate in seeking out friends, and all because I have been very lonesome up in Algonac with no one. I have accepted hes gone and I am better without him but theres nights I still cry myself to sleep because the warm body and the person to cuddle and talk to is gone. 5 plus yrs of that and its gone so am slowly adjusting to being alone again. theres hope for the future as I have been talking to this guy in California and as some may know I plan on moving there as long as things all go right. So far so good. I am learning now to just take tings in stride have no expectations in life and letting life happen. I will be careful and more cautious as to not be taken advantage of and I wont lower my standards of health and well being emotionally and mentally as far as dating or what not. I now have learned a hard lesson in life that things in this real world are not always perfect or fair. I was a loyal, loving committed wife. I wasnt perfect I had my flaws. Mainly just small annoying habits but I got with a man that in my desperation to be with someone and to get what I want a british guy with a accent and try being mrs show off I married someone who would turn out to have very little in common with me and not respect me. I had good times but the whole thing was rushed and I was young and foolish. I had to swallow my pride when it all went wrong and suffer the heartbreak. I tried to make it work and even after he ruined our wedding night drunkingly talking about doing my maid of honor and well practically ruined the wedding in alot of ways. Then the swinging stuff, then the cheating and lying and messing with my friends. I kept letting these abuses happen and tried making it work because I didnt want to be lonely. He finally figured I wasn't what he wanted after we nearly called it quits before caused he was sleeping with one of my last school friends I knew. I decided to date a dude in florida and he sabotaged it because he thought he wanted me back but really he things wernt working out with my friend cause she was on the fence about dumping her own bf. So in a desperate attempt not to be out on the street with no one or nothing he interfered with what could have been a better thing for me and turned around 6 months later to say again I dont love you when he had promised he would be forever my loyal companion and for the 6 months was annoyingly stuck to my ass and everything and very jealous and possessive I may add. That was basically my christmas gift. After a sad boring christmas day that was uneventful. I did no celebrating on christmas eve or christmas. I did not really get anything though I gave a couple people gifts including my ex husband. He however was harboring a secret and by just around new year I would find out what I suspected when he went completely cold one day and then started leaving randomly going out The tell tale signs of a affair. So began to crumble and wither my already fragile and broken sanity I was trying to hard to keep intact.

I have not really told this story much as I dont dwell on or like to think back to the past. I used to do it and it ate away at me. I hate thinking about it anymore. But as usual when I start talking about my issues which are part of my confessions things on my mind are said and as I mentioned I ramble on and on. Please bear with me.

So yes theres my confessions and a look at my psyche.

I dont think clowns are scarey at all but then again I dont really think alot of things are scarey and see beauty in dark and ugly places. i am a hopeless romantic and I am too nice for my own good and too forgiving. I am a kindred spirit and though I have my flaws and bad habits I am just a meek and misunderstood woman thats even a bit naive at times. I am clueless about many things even things within the scene and try sounding intelligent or making up BS. I have hearing problems, a bad short term memory and a slight speech impairment. Yup Im one piece of work lol. But thats me and I know I will work on being a better person and learning to control my impulsive ways better. So now that I have written a book here I hope maybe people might understand me better and not judge me harshly for I am a lil bit sensitive to criticism even constructive. I can take it but it still makes me get all red, hot faced and embarrassed.

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taysteewonderbunny Newbie

taysteewonderbunny

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I confess I am not insane, nor have I ever been, I am a realist who needs to be loved, really loved, i have so much to give and supressing the feelings in my heart that noone wants is unbearable for me. Amongst, over things, the ending of my livilehood and good reputation as a social worker, has now been destroyed. I am sorry for anything that has every happened to you in your life and I ache for you, to get better, If I could take all the pain away and wear it on my own, I would, I can bare the scares of humanity but when it comes to myself, I can't tolerate the pain and disappointment, I would never ask another person to walk in my shoes, but I will gladly walk in yours if you let me. My mother never loved me, my daddy asked me to make out with him, an then robbed a bank and killed himself after being busted, people in my life have recently asked me and I defend my momma, I defend everyone for we are only human, I have lived my life as best as I know how and I am tired. I fight for everyone's well-being, but I can't fight for my own. I love my children, if you only knew how much, that was a lesson I learned by my mommy. I miss Angel's daddy, he went before his time, he never seen her grow up and I am the only mom and dad she knows, but I am not doing a good job right now, my faith is faded.

HUGS to you, lady.

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victoriavengeance Newbie

victoriavengeance (1)

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I confess I am not insane, nor have I ever been, I am a realist who needs to be loved, really loved, i have so much to give and supressing the feelings in my heart that noone wants is unbearable for me. Amongst, over things, the ending of my livilehood and good reputation as a social worker, has now been destroyed. I am sorry for anything that has every happened to you in your life and I ache for you, to get better, If I could take all the pain away and wear it on my own, I would, I can bare the scares of humanity but when it comes to myself, I can't tolerate the pain and disappointment, I would never ask another person to walk in my shoes, but I will gladly walk in yours if you let me. My mother never loved me, my daddy asked me to make out with him, an then robbed a bank and killed himself after being busted, people in my life have recently asked me and I defend my momma, I defend everyone for we are only human, I have lived my life as best as I know how and I am tired. I fight for everyone's well-being, but I can't fight for my own. I love my children, if you only knew how much, that was a lesson I learned by my mommy. I miss Angel's daddy, he went before his time, he never seen her grow up and I am the only mom and dad she knows, but I am not doing a good job right now, my faith is faded.

wub you<33 that was a lot to put out there honeyyybear.

I confess that I am sick of being walked on, and sick of fucking up.

I confess that I feel like I helped ruin his marriage...........ooooooooooooops....

even though I know it was already going down in the first place... and someone told me he saw me nothing more than being a piece of meat... but I swear I was more... >.>

Edited by victoriavengeance
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