Long Overdue

[Hellion]

Go New York!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100721/us_time/08599200535800

[taysteewonderbunny]

Too bad this law wasn't in effect HERE in Michigan when the eternal went through all of that garbage last year.

[DJ Nocker]

I am one of the people that thinks this is stupid. Dont do anything that will make you a target in the workplace and shut up. just do your job, go home, and then do it again.

And I am not a "boss" for the record.

[torn asunder]

I am one of the people that thinks this is stupid. Dont do anything that will make you a target in the workplace and shut up. just do your job, go home, and then do it again.

And I am not a "boss" for the record.

sorry, but this is naive at best. bullies don't need an actual reason to pick someone out, they just do it (they have their own reasons, but they often don't follow normal logic). if they have it out for you, there's really nothing you can do.

[phee]

Yeah... the words "deserve" and "bullied" don't really have to do with one another.

[DJ Nocker]

sorry, but this is naive at best. bullies don't need an actual reason to pick someone out, they just do it (they have their own reasons, but they often don't follow normal logic). if they have it out for you, there's really nothing you can do.

Most bullies pick on someone for SOME reason, its just not known to the victim what that something is the majority of the time. Adapt to your surroundings and get rid of the problem. No sympathy on this subject, grow up. Be happy you have a job in these times.

Edited July 22, 2010 by DJ Nocker

[phee]

Most bullies pick on someone for SOME reason, its just not known to the victim what that something is the majority of the time. Adapt to your surroundings and get rid of the problem. No sympathy on this subject, grow up. Be happy you have a job in these times.

The reason could be your hair, the car you drive, the sound of your voice, the fact that you have kids, the fact that you are a certain ethnicity... I don't think anyone is suggesting they are not happy to be a job...

Just curious though (for arguments sake)... sexual harassment is a form of bullying as well... do you believe that women/men who are being sexually harassed and/or sexually bullied by their bosses should " Adapt to their surroundings and get rid of the problem. No sympathy on this subject, grow up." as well?

[DJ Nocker]

The reason could be your hair, the car you drive, the sound of your voice, the fact that you have kids, the fact that you are a certain ethnicity... I don't think anyone is suggesting they are not happy to be a job...

Just curious though (for arguments sake)... sexual harassment is a form of bullying as well... do you believe that women/men who are being sexually harassed and/or sexually bullied by their bosses should " Adapt to their surroundings and get rid of the problem. No sympathy on this subject, grow up." as well?

Change your hair, hide your car, change your voice around the person or dont speak around them unless you have to (its work, not a social gathering). Don't flaunt that you have kids (its a work place, not your house). They probably wouldn't hire you in the first place if it were your ethnicity. People have to adapt.

It is 100% impossible to have a workplace that is sexual harassment free. So complaining about it is silly and usually irrelevant. A case could be brought up every hour in most places but isnt because its just common talk now. Just the way a conversation goes with the lingo these days, almost always has a sexual harassment word in it, or a word that is insulting someone (something is retarded/gay ect).

[phee]

Change your hair, hide your car, change your voice around the person or dont speak around them unless you have to (its work, not a social gathering). Don't flaunt that you have kids (its a work place, not your house). They probably wouldn't hire you in the first place if it were your ethnicity. People have to adapt.

It is 100% impossible to have a workplace that is sexual harassment free. So complaining about it is silly and usually irrelevant. A case could be brought up every hour in most places but isnt because its just common talk now. Just the way a conversation goes with the lingo these days, almost always has a sexual harassment word in it, or a word that is insulting someone (something is retarded/gay ect).

So you (just so I am understanding) believe that in the situation where there is a bully and someone being bullied.... the responsibility of the situation is strictly on that of the person being bullied correct? The person doing the bullying bares no responsibility.

In other words, it is the fault of the victim.

(Do you really think that changing your behavior and appearance to appease your tormentors makes the torment end?)

[DJ Nocker]

So you (just so I am understanding) believe that in the situation where there is a bully and someone being bullied.... the responsibility of the situation is strictly on that of the person being bullied correct? The person doing the bullying bares no responsibility.

In other words, it is the fault of the victim.

(Do you really think that changing your behavior and appearance to appease your tormentors makes the torment end?)

The majority of the time, yea it does end.

[StormKnight (1)]

Going to work and just doing the job, avoidance of the bully, especially a manager/higher just above you just. Doesn't. Work.

Example: You have to request an item or data from the bully/boss to get your job done. No way around it. Said bully/boss refuses because he just plain doesn't like you, for whatever reason. Can't get your job done. When the ones above him call him out on why your project isn't done, he can come up with a variety of things to say, and back up (whether it is true or not (bully/boss could respond "I didn't get the request from him until past the due date," when you had it to him weeks prior.)) A bully/boss just doesn't make your life at work hell, but can end up firing you or getting you fired, saying in a passive-aggressive manner, "It isn't personal. It's just business.") They can also make you look bad for other businesses by sending bad letter or call to potential employers to tell you what a bad egg you are. And he will make himself look good in the process, costing you time, money, and a job.

Been there when I did administrative temp work. Saw it happen in BOTH civilian businesses and federal/military offices, as well as in the hospital. It happens, and there is no way to avoid it when it does, regardless of how much you lower your profile. It is called real life, real business, working with real people.

The majority of the time, yea it does end.

And why should you be the victim of a bully?

It rarely ends, until an outside intervention or retaliation. In a school environment, you may be able to punch back when a bully hits you and it costs you some time in detention. In business and jobs, the punch back is more than likely going to get you arrested, jailed, blacklisted, or a variety of ways to end your career.

Edited July 22, 2010 by StormKnight

[DJ Nocker]

Meh, to each there own I guess.

[phee]

The majority of the time, yea it does end.

And also just curious.... How much experience have you had being the victim of this? And how many places has it happened to you?

[Slogo]

The majority of the time, yea it does end.

Didn't work for me

[bean]

Bullies look for people to pick on. They also enjoy tormenting their victims and really see nothing wrong with their own behavior, claiming that it's the victim's fault. It's really sad and pathetic that a grown adult can't take responsibility for their own atrocious behavior.

[DJ Nocker]

And also just curious.... How much experience have you had being the victim of this? And how many places has it happened to you?

It has happened to me on several occasions, some making me get upset and some at my current job, but I got over it. I also adapted/changed and worked my way up from the bottom (a stock guy), changing my habits and now am an assistant manager.

[phee]

And based on this... you would say that the majority of the time it works?

How were you bullied?

[DJ Nocker]

And based on this... you would say that the majority of the time it works?

How were you bullied?

1st off, thats none of your business. Although I do share some personal info online, I don't share it all, especially on a site that I am not well received on by a lot of the population. And even if I did share it, comparing one form of being bullied to another is just as stupid as comparing weed to chocolate as addictive drugs. 2nd, No I dont base my opinion off of just my personal experience, I take into consideration the experience of other people I am in contact with.

[phee]

I see....

The only reason I asked was that I have heard of work place bullying and experienced it... and thus far you are the only one whom I have talked to that stated that they adapted to it and made it stop. So I was curious.

[DJ Nocker]

I see....

The only reason I asked was that I have heard of work place bullying and experienced it... and thus far you are the only one whom I have talked to that stated that they adapted to it and made it stop. So I was curious.

Because I know that managers are under the same pressure that everyone else is, if not more, and a law should not be passed to make them fear there employees. Its hard for everyone right now. People need to grow a pair and learn to survive instead of complaining.

"Boohoo my manager is a mean person"

Go live in a freaking box then. Or better yet, collect unemployment and then pay for internet you dont need so you can post on forums about how mad you are. Great plan.

[phee]

Because I know that managers are under the same pressure that everyone else is, if not more, and a law should not be passed to make them fear there employees. Its hard for everyone right now. People need to grow a pair and learn to survive instead of complaining.

"Boohoo my manager is a mean person"

Go live in a freaking box then. Or better yet, collect unemployment and then pay for internet you dont need so you can post on forums about how mad you are. Great plan.

I do agree that some people do complain too much about where they have found themselves.... But I also think that there are a few people that do have a legitimate beef with a bad boss/bully... I am not really that sympathetic towards the "my boss is too hard on me" crowd, but the "my boss berates my character, and makes me stay late for the express purpose of me not being able to see my family" crowd is a bit rough... I think boss/bully types thrive in the economy the way it is because people can't simply quit and find something else these days... as you said they are lucky to be getting a pay check; which in turn means that a bully in a position of power has a lot more freedom to treat you like crap if it gets their goo going.

[DJ Nocker]

I do agree that some people do complain too much about where they have found themselves.... But I also think that there are a few people that do have a legitimate beef with a bad boss/bully... I am not really that sympathetic towards the "my boss is too hard on me" crowd, but the "my boss berates my character, and makes me stay late for the express purpose of me not being able to see my family" crowd is a bit rough... I think boss/bully types thrive in the economy the way it is because people can't simply quit and find something else these days... as you said they are lucky to be getting a pay check; which in turn means that a bully in a position of power has a lot more freedom to treat you like crap if it gets their goo going.

They have just as much on the line IMO, if not more. They could loose there entire business that they are in charge of or get fired from a person that is higher up on the food chain just the same.

[phee]

Bully's do get bullied by others often yes.... it is what in a lot of cases makes them bully others.

[DJ Nocker]

Bully's do get bullied by others often yes.... it is what in a lot of cases makes them bully others.

Whats your point?

[phee]

Whats your point?

I was agreeing with you... that often people who are bullying you are under a lot of pressure from other bullies as well...