Top 100 Reasons NOT to have Kids

[Joey Deadcat]

http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/2009/03/top-100-reasons-not-to-have-kids-and.html

Edited July 29, 2010 by Joey Deadcat

[bean]

All 100 reasons are so very true.

[torn asunder]

[creatureofthenyte]

[Slogo]

I want kids one day but damn that's right

[Tyger]

None of that matters to me. I rather spend all my time with my son, then be selfish by myself. I always wanted kids no matter the downsides.

[~Tszura~]

Nightgaunt and I would like to have a little stinky of our own, but at this stage in the game with our age and the sucky economy, I'm not sure if it's actually going to happen. I have a step-son with him, but its not the same for me for a lot of reasons. I'm proud to be "Not a Woman on Time," but sometimes the feeling does sting a little. Lately, I've been in the mode of feeling that my greatest loss is also my greatest benefit. Lets see how long that thought lasts, though. Oh, and #65.......been there, and rocked it! lol

[Joey Deadcat]

Will always proudly remain CF - never had an interest in starting a family and am pretty much indifferent to kids.

Edited July 30, 2010 by Joey Deadcat

[StormKnight (1)]

Personally, I wouldn't mind having some genetic derivatives of myself. If I got this far through what I had as a childhood, I can only hope with better upbringing I would plan would it would be better for him/her.

If for anything, there would be father/child time on the mountain for philosophy, and medicne similar to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxZiJSY8gVE

Personal belief: Each generation should progress further in knowledge, ethics, and soul. To raise a child otherwise is to limit humanity as a whole.

[Darkmatter]

I enjoy not having any of my own, and have always been careful not to have any. I'll be 30 August 9th and have no regrets about that whatsoever. I care for disabled kids for a living , and that is quite enough for me.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

I have 1 reason not to want to have kids and He lives with Slogo and Lord of sins but I will one day

Edited July 30, 2010 by Jessika Fxckin rocks

[TygerLili]

I am child-free by choice and have no interest in having children, but I don't necessarily agree with more than half of the things on this list. A lot of these things are affected by your living situation, your job situation, your relationship with your family, your relationship status, your interests, your general outlook on life, and how you prefer to spend your free time, and have less to do with whether or not you have children than those other things mentioned.

Also, someone else's blog is not a credible source of information.

[the_fairy_gothmother]

I really prefer my life child free. I dont think child raising is for me. Maybe Im selfish or maybe I am lazy I dont know. I also had alot of responsibility dumped on me at a young age and I have a huge fear of kids inheriting many of our familys messed up psychological problems. Theres alot of depressed, anti social, alcoholic, messed up people in my family and I am one of them. I have several mental disorders and I may be quite stable for most part but I am not sure I can cope with kids especially if they inherit these problems. I already see it in my nephew. He is just like my brother whos ruined my parents lives emotionally and financially and his child is only a year and a half and the warning signs of very similar behavior are all there. My parents also are taking custody because my brother is in and out of jail and his wife he knocked up and married immediately after his 3 yr prison stint is not capable of being a mother and shoves responsibilities on my parents, me and others when she has no job, and nothing else better to do. She bitches about doing some chores and having to take care of the 2 boys she had and its very sad. Not that I am a feminist but in todays day and age no one man or female can really be trusted in relationships it seems anymore. Its hard to find a reliable partner who will stick it out. My 5 year marriage even without children was failed and it made it much easier to split without having children. It would have been way worse is children were involved and I just dont think its worth the risk anymore. I know I am a loyal, loving person who can commit but I have been jaded by men so I am more cautious than ever. If in the future things change and I am in a for sure stable relationship and the man really wants kids well it would require alot of discussing, thought, and more than likely him taking on more responsibility for them because I know myself and I can be a good mother I would love and care and provide but I dont think I could always give that all the time because I have my own issues. Right now I lvoe having now kids and these 100 reasons reinforce thoughts I already had on this issue.

[Lillylu29]

All 100 reasons are so very true.

+1 if id had to do it all over again I would not have kids.... im not a mother figure at all

[synthier]

None of that matters to me. I rather spend all my time with my son, then be selfish by myself. I always wanted kids no matter the downsides.

That may be true for you, but there are plenty of people out there who have kids for very selfish reasons, and plenty of people who don't have kids for very unselfish reasons. It just seems to be the tendency at-large to say that people who don't want to have kids are being selfish, or doing so for selfish reasons. Of course, that may be the truth in some cases.

No offense is meant to you, Tyger - your son sounds lucky to have such a good mom.

[Tyger]

That may be true for you, but there are plenty of people out there who have kids for very selfish reasons, and plenty of people who don't have kids for very unselfish reasons. It just seems to be the tendency at-large to say that people who don't want to have kids are being selfish, or doing so for selfish reasons. Of course, that may be the truth in some cases.

No offense is meant to you, Tyger - your son sounds lucky to have such a good mom.

I was never a selfish person to begin with. So having my son (which I always wanted) didn't change a thing for me on that end. Ive always been one to cater to other people, and it's what I like to do.

I take no offense. Thank you. I know a lot of families that are choosing to go child free. And Im all for them. Everyone has their choice. And that is the norm for families now a days.

Having kids for selfish reasons, now that is another story entirely.

[the_fairy_gothmother]

I was never a selfish person to begin with. So having my son (which I always wanted) didn't change a thing for me on that end. Ive always been one to cater to other people, and it's what I like to do.

I take no offense. Thank you. I know a lot of families that are choosing to go child free. And Im all for them. Everyone has their choice. And that is the norm for families now a days.

Having kids for selfish reasons, now that is another story entirely.

Thats my brother. My brother had kids because he wanted to be macho and manly. He had kids to bosot his own status. Deep down yes he has love for his kids but if he truly did lveo them the way a father should he would have been a mroe loving caring father form the word go. He however did very little to help his wife and abused her verbally and physically. Hes told his not even year old sons to shut the fuck up on several occasions when they cried. Who screams at a crying baby to shut the fuck up or I will chut you up? He is seriously messed up. My brother has always caused pain and strife in the family and he prolonged it by having kids just to show off. Now they are being raised by my burned out parents and it breaks my heart. Another reason I dont want kids. I know if anything ever happened I would end up looking to them for help them being the only ones who could give me any at all tho its little. They ave their lives now complicated more by raising 2 more children which will be more than ever troubled due to their mother and fathers outright careless mistakes.

Its funny cause me and the guy I am talking to now we were tlaking abotu kids and well sex in genral being 2 consenting adults highly interested in one another. So ya know birth control came up and kids and him being a guy having a slight fear of being trapped in a relationship by a woman letting things happen told me how he himself took all precautions. I reassured him no matter what I was also in control of my body because I feel three is no excuse for a couple to accidentally get pregnant when there are so many protections and birth control methods out there. I feel strongly on this issue. I know condoms break sometimes or things might heat up and happen but still I managed for over 7 years 5 of which being married not getting pregnant even accidentally. I did not find it at all difficult either. Everyone has their story or circumstances and I am not judging anyone if things happened they wernt prepared for or how things happened but like I said I feel with all the ways to prevent pregnancy available when someone does end up accidentally pregnant I tend to get a little bit ticked off especially if they turn out to be horrible parents. Teenage pregnancy really dont get me started there. Its one thing that truly does anger me.

I will confess I wouldn't mind having a child of my own I think kids can be cute but I dont live in a perfect ideal world. Money isnt reliable, people are not reliable and I just dont see a system that works for families anymore. More people are divorced, more families torn, more wackos and weirdos out there that wanna harm kids. And any trouble with the child at school and stuff and then you have to deal with all that and what ever complications they bring into your life. I am too fragile of a person to cope with and deal with all that worry and stress. So I am better off being child free.

[dragonluv]

I really prefer my life child free. I dont think child raising is for me. Maybe Im selfish or maybe I am lazy I dont know. I also had alot of responsibility dumped on me at a young age and I have a huge fear of kids inheriting many of our familys messed up psychological problems. Theres alot of depressed, anti social, alcoholic, messed up people in my family and I am one of them. I have several mental disorders and I may be quite stable for most part but I am not sure I can cope with kids especially if they inherit these problems. I already see it in my nephew. He is just like my brother whos ruined my parents lives emotionally and financially and his child is only a year and a half and the warning signs of very similar behavior are all there. My parents also are taking custody because my brother is in and out of jail and his wife he knocked up and married immediately after his 3 yr prison stint is not capable of being a mother and shoves responsibilities on my parents, me and others when she has no job, and nothing else better to do. She bitches about doing some chores and having to take care of the 2 boys she had and its very sad. Not that I am a feminist but in todays day and age no one man or female can really be trusted in relationships it seems anymore. Its hard to find a reliable partner who will stick it out. My 5 year marriage even without children was failed and it made it much easier to split without having children. It would have been way worse is children were involved and I just dont think its worth the risk anymore. I know I am a loyal, loving person who can commit but I have been jaded by men so I am more cautious than ever. If in the future things change and I am in a for sure stable relationship and the man really wants kids well it would require alot of discussing, thought, and more than likely him taking on more responsibility for them because I know myself and I can be a good mother I would love and care and provide but I dont think I could always give that all the time because I have my own issues. Right now I lvoe having now kids and these 100 reasons reinforce thoughts I already had on this issue.

If I may, hugs

Since high school, I have not wanted kids. I do not want the responsibility that comes with it. I have neices and nephews. That is not enough for me. Wait, unless I get this dog I want. Then that dog will be baby. That is MY idea of having kids.

[FarrIL]

At this point in my life, I'd be fine if I had a SO who had a kid, just so I can dote on them myself. I'd rather spoil other peoples kids than have my own.

I like "5. You are more likely to be an engaged and involved aunt or uncle because you are not jaded and worn down by your own kids" --- this is true. If I lived in Memphis, TN, I'd ruin the dinner of my oldest nephew because I'd take him out shopping and grab treats and the like. I said to my sis Allie that Jeri would have the boys, Allie would have the twins and I'd have NO kids so I could spoil theirs instead.

And at this point, it's best for me to remain childfree... with my lack of finances, I'd starve my kid. And with me getting birth control through the health department, I'm sure they're delighted to be giving me several months of contraceptive pills versus having to worry about one more welfare baby.

[Nerdcore]

I would have agreed to all of this 2 years ago.. I have never wanted kids .. but now Im married and i am having one.. and I am very happy !

[Destroit]

Having kids is selfish...and therefore I will not partake. Bringing someone into this universe when you have to break it to them eventually "You're going to have to die someday, there is a good chance there is no God, there is a chance you will never see anyone that you love ever again, your old wrinkly body will rot in the ground, and your entire being may be obliterated upon death, which can happen anytime from when you're born up until you die."

Anyone that saves another human being from this planet is an unselfish hero in my eyes . Proud to be on that list .

And THAT'S coming from someone agnostic who believes there is a better chance of a higher power than not. I've seen spirits all my life, felt presences enter my body hundreds of times, was able to walk into anyone's house that was haunted and inform them exactly who is sticking around and why to which they'd respond "HOLY SHIT...how did you know Mr. blah blah blah died in here in that way? He was my ____________." And I even still have some doubt, I've been informed that even that sort of stuff does not bear 100% proof.

People who are thoroughly atheist and have children? SELFISH...SELFISH...SELFISH! I'm sorry, I know that's just imo...but fucking, seriously? Why? And I don't want to hear the failed logic of "well I was happy before I was in existance I probably won't mind after..." Yeah, I REALLY want to hear that on your deathbed, I can guarantee you that you won't be the calm little zen center of the universe when it's actually happening. Even if you feel that way, what is to guarantee that you kid is going to? Super selfish...

I actually have the urge to have kids sometimes, I would probably be a damn good parent. I suppress these urges to save my unborn kid. And yeah, there's the logic of "well everyone else is having kids, so you not having kids isn't going to stop anything." I know it won't, but at least I can be proud to say I did not participate in the massacre, ya know?

The only time I could see this maybe not applying is if you are HARDCORE spiritual and got some secret hidden memo that the rest of us never received about the afterlife. The type who 100% beyond-a-reasonable-doubt believes that we are to embark somewhere else once this life is done and over. If they honestly believe this, and believe that their child will be in the same boat, I guess in that case I wouldn't consider the person selfish for having children.

Having kids is selfish...and therefore I will not partake. Bringing someone into this universe when you have to break it to them eventually "You're going to have to die someday, there is a good chance there is no God, there is a chance you will never see anyone that you love ever again, your old wrinkly body will rot in the ground, and your entire being may be obliterated upon death, which can happen anytime from when you're born up until you die."

Anyone that saves another human being from this planet is an unselfish hero in my eyes . Proud to be on that list .

And THAT'S coming from someone agnostic who believes there is a better chance of a higher power than not. I've seen spirits all my life, felt presences enter my body hundreds of times, was able to walk into anyone's house that was haunted and inform them exactly who is sticking around and why to which they'd respond "HOLY SHIT...how did you know Mr. blah blah blah died in here in that way? He was my ____________." And I even still have some doubt, I've been informed that even that sort of stuff does not bear 100% proof.

People who are thoroughly atheist and have children? SELFISH...SELFISH...SELFISH! I'm sorry, I know that's just imo...but fucking, seriously? Why? And I don't want to hear the failed logic of "well I was happy before I was in existance I probably won't mind after..." Yeah, I REALLY want to hear that on your deathbed, I can guarantee you that you won't be the calm little zen center of the universe when it's actually happening. Even if you feel that way, what is to guarantee that you kid is going to? Super selfish...

I actually have the urge to have kids sometimes, I would probably be a damn good parent. I suppress these urges to save my unborn kid. And yeah, there's the logic of "well everyone else is having kids, so you not having kids isn't going to stop anything." I know it won't, but at least I can be proud to say I did not participate in the massacre, ya know?

The only time I could see this maybe not applying is if you are HARDCORE spiritual and got some secret hidden memo that the rest of us never received about the afterlife. The type who 100% beyond-a-reasonable-doubt believes that we are to embark somewhere else once this life is done and over. If they honestly believe this, and believe that their child will be in the same boat, I guess in that case I wouldn't consider the person selfish for having children.

[Destroit]

I enjoy not having any of my own, and have always been careful not to have any. I'll be 30 August 9th and have no regrets about that whatsoever. I care for disabled kids for a living , and that is quite enough for me.

It's funny that you say that. I've always had a few eyebrows raised when I would reply to people's inquiries about helping children and I'd respond: "You can actually help the world's children who need love and attention MORE when you DON'T have any to worry about of your own."

For instance, at my old condo (and around here in Warren, actually) there are a LOT of families who have far more children than their means can care for. Besides monetary troubles, many of these families have two working parents full-time and when these moms and dads get home from work they want to plop and don't have the energy to expend paying attention to all their kids. So...they end up at my house. I feed them veggies out of my garden, teach them about farming, let them run through my hose outside, listen to their little rehearsed songs, etc. I give them the attention and guidance that their own parents are either too busy or irresponsible to handle themselves.

It's funny that you say that. I've always had a few eyebrows raised when I would reply to people's inquiries about helping children and I'd respond: "You can actually help the world's children who need love and attention MORE when you DON'T have any to worry about of your own."

For instance, at my old condo (and around here in Warren, actually) there are a LOT of families who have far more children than their means can care for. Besides monetary troubles, many of these families have two working parents full-time and when these moms and dads get home from work they want to plop and don't have the energy to expend paying attention to all their kids. So...they end up at my house. I feed them veggies out of my garden, teach them about farming, let them run through my hose outside, listen to their little rehearsed songs, etc. I give them the attention and guidance that their own parents are either too busy or irresponsible to handle themselves.

Edited August 12, 2010 by Chernobyl

[*Siren*]

None of that matters to me. I rather spend all my time with my son, then be selfish by myself. I always wanted kids no matter the downsides.

Well said, Tyger.

Personally, I am just now reaching the point in life where I am asking myself whether or not I would like to have a family of my own.

[Glory13666]

I love my kids but they sure are exhausting.

As far as getting to do fun things without having kids, well that could be true but there are a lot of fun things that you can do with your kids as well. I think that taking my kids to the park and camping, swimming, etc. is just as much fun as going to the bar, if not more. Although we all need some time for ourselves and parenting sure does restrict that time.

[FarrIL]

I'm on the fence, and in regards to what Chernobyl posted about having the energy to care for other kids versus having your own...

If I were to have kids, I'd be adopting. The world has way too many children who need to love that are already IN this world. Might as well give them the good home they need versus bringing a fresh life into this world. For all you know, if you adopt, you'd become that kid's hero... who knows what life they had before you brought them home?