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Something you were bullied about as a kid


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I looked at all your photos and I just dont seeit, I am however used to big Polish honkers.

myself inculded i forgot i was made fun of for that....thick plastic frames big head big nose big eyes my hands and feet are the size they are now..when i was 13 which looked odd on my 4'10 frame...shaggy hair to boot....and was dubbed icky by the females...its funny now though in a fucked up way

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People poked fun at me for the way I dressed and the clothes I wore in high school. Honestly, it didn't really affect me much.

The funny thing was, a couple of years after graduation- some of THE SAME people who I went to school with showed up at the industrial night I was DJ'ing at, dressed in black with big platform boots, eyeliner, etc. Of course, once they found out I was the DJ, they kissed my ass all night long. Kinda funny...

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Man I wish I could find some of the kids I bullied in school and give em' a hug, and tell them that I am sorry.

I had a very cruel male role model in my early years that taught me that fighting felt great, what he did not teach me was that the more I did it, the better the rush was. I was one of the lucky ones though. I had a wonderful kind-hearted step mother come into my life. She more or less made me the man I am today. Her and a few good teachers , showed me the misery that such a life causes to myself as much as my victims. I hate to think of how things might have turned out if I had not had those people there to show me the benefits a life of kindness had to offer. A lot of children out there don't have that.

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I was "the fat kid" from about 4th grade until about 9th when somehow i lost some weight and the insults about that stopped, but that was right in the time period that you don't forget it and even though intellectually i should be past it, i still have body image issues.

I'm also 6'4 and have been since Jr. High school, for a year there i ALSO got the "tall skinny kid" insults until things evened out a bit. Ugh. I'd like to say it was due to the other kids "seeing the real me" or them just becoming less of assholes, but no, it was all about the looks (and still is for most adults, they are just more sly about it)

When i was in 1st and 2nd grade one of the much older kids (6th or 7th grade) used to beat my ass pretty much every week on my way home from school, even managed to hunt me down when i found a LONG ass alternate route home. At that time i just assumed that was how the world was going to be. There was a lot of teasing about 900 different things, from my religion to my clothes to anything you can think of. Eventually some even older kids, randomly beat the crap out of him when they saw him beating me up and I didn't have any more physical problems with him, but th mental scars were there for a long, long time.

By the time i got to high school i "fit in" pretty well but ended up getting in to fights fairly regularly due to having a short fuse when people would pick on other kids. Most of the mental issues were still there, under the surface even though no one could tell i was the "fat nerd kid" anymore.

Theres all sort of details I'm not really saying, as it was so long ago and I'm really not looking to write it all out.

But since then I've tended to try and worry about the quiet people and look at things from the "not so popular" persons perspective. Unfortunately its hard, as even in an "underground" culture like this, the pressure of the "in crowd" to look down on the "out crowd" is massive. Even though I'm pretty much in the "in crowd" it still upsets the hell out of me, and so i end up not ever really making it to the inner circle of the in-crowd, even in this scene. I just cant take the asshats being nice to me out of one corner of their mouth then turning around and being jerks to the less popular people.

I've tried to not do what many do, which is "well so and so is nice to ME... so hes nice." no, thats bad. If they are jerks, they are jerks, just because YOU get a pass from their attitude, shouldn't make a difference.

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You go to Priest/Munger/Chadsey too?! lol

I swear it sounds like we are from the same neighborhood in SW.

I was bullied for the way I looked, and also the kids said I was weird,(I am so what) and because we were very poor, I mean even though I grew up in Southwest Detroit, where most people live in poverty, we were still worse off then alot of people. Also, you had to be a fighter in school, no crying was aloud. I was not a fighter at all. One time, these girls wanted to fight me for like being poor or something, so the one girl chased me home and I ran in the house crying, well my mother said, "get out there and beat her fucking ass or I am going to beat yours". So, I did until she started crying saying her neck was breaking.

Another thing, I remember one time a girl came up to me, she knew that the kids called me fat and ugly so she said "we don't make fun of you because we think your ugly, we make fun of you because the way you dress. (I'm not sure if she thought she was helping the situation or not) The kids called me "scarface" because I have a scar on my forehead from falling and one on my check from it getting sliced. (I was a clumsy one) I believed all the things the kids said to me because, after I came home from school being teased daily my own mother would do the same, by saying things like "your so ugly, how could I have such an ugly daughter". Instead of doing what most mom's would do and say something nice to make a little girl feel better she did much worse. I cried every day, literally, this was all stuff in elementary school too. I finally had to beat up another one of the bullying bitches and this stopped for awhile but it started again in middle school and than I started hanging with older girls who were involved with gangs (these are still some of my best friends today, they have straightened up mainly) There were many times I came home from school and wanted to kill myself because of the hell I went through, I once thought I could do this by drinking cough syrup but I just slept for hours instead. It was either be the baddest, prettiest, toughest bitch in the neighborhood so everyone likes you and no one can beat your ass or pick on you because you will fuck em up or die. Those were what I saw my options being. I coped by laughing at myself and in turn, became the class clown and in 7th grade I discovered glee club and, and believe it or not of all things, this was what made alot of stuff stop, I kinda built a name for myself through singing, even when I was hanging out doing bad shit, I would start singing to the latin freestyle music and everyone would shut up, they would even turn the radio off to hear me. My mom eventually kicked me out because we couldn't live in our house anymore because it was not inhabitable, so she told me to go live with my friend I eventually stopped going to school because well I was now homeless and also I couldn't tolerate the bullshit in high school so when my mom found out I was not going to school she basically came and changed her mind about me not living with her and I was like "you put me out" she tried to make me come back but I wasn't going that easy so some stuff happened and as a result she threw me in a girls home, which I ended up going to school off grounds, did well, academically but got teased for being white!

But anyway, the reason for a partial life story is because, I understand what it is to get made fun of for things out of your control, I wasn't pretty so the kids made fun of me, I was poor, kids made fun of me, I was white, etc,,, all of these things you cannot change, and when it's out of your control and there is no simple fix for it it sucks, it hurts. I know for me, the best decision my mother made was locking me up because I needed help, all of my problems stemmed mainly from teasing and bullying (at school and by my mom) Her locking me up gave me somewhere to turn, someone to talk to and to find out I was not alone, it saved my life and made me who I am today. It's actually a big reason why I do the work I do now.

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Well, in California, I was picked on by the mexicans both for being white and anytime you simply looked at them the wrong way. I don't care what anyone says, Cali mexicans are freaking dangerous. Also I had really bad acne when I was a teenager. There was a student written and published newsletter that the school was doing where kids could write about things like a newspaper and it'd be circulated around the school. There was a section in the first issue where people were quoted saying whatever they wanted anonymously. The entire section of course was people just talking shit about those lower on the social food-chain. I was one of those mentioned and it was for my acne. Also had the whole no fashion sense/money grubbing parents so clothes were hopeless.

After I moved from Cali to michigan, I thought I'd be safer. My mom swears to god that before we moved from cali there was a mexican gang after me. Apparently it was common knowledge to everyone but me. Still not sure if I believe it. Just cause you stand up to someone once...Anyway, got to Michigan. No more mexican problems, but ironically, being half-mexican myself the white kids were quick to take over. So fucked with for being white by mexicans, fucked with for being mexican by white kids. Wtf.

Around puberty time, I started growing a lot of facial hair. But only side burns. My grandparents being insane old-people christians, for some reason both didn't allow me to shave, and I could only wear clothes they approved of. Naturally those clothes did not look good. I was picked on for everything and anything. I had maybe one friend all through 8th grade. But I was never allowed to leave the house except for school. If anyone was ever paying attention to me, it was to pick on me. Sometimes just some stupid girls giggling about how ugly I was. Sometimes guys taking my backpack and pushing me on the ground etc. Sometimes entire classrooms laughing at me because of something or other. Teacher's never even really did anything about it. I guess they just figured it was normal kid stuff. Looking back I really still can't believe how horrible my Jr. years were.

When I got to High School, things started to get better once I made friends with some stoners and metal heads. Started smokin weed and cigarettes, my grandparents were doing the old people travel in an RV thing a lot.

I think my pre-high school years are probably a major factor in the issues I have with confidence. Such is life I guess.

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I think my pre-high school years are probably a major factor in the issues I have with confidence. Such is life I guess.

Same here. I have never really had a lot of confidence in myself and I still have issues with it. But it has gotten better in the last year or so and I think it has a lot to do with me training in Krav Maga. My instructor has even noticed. How he saw it before me, I don't know, but I have to agree with him. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of the bad memories from school when I was picked on, but it helps to know that those people can't fuck with me anymore.

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You go to Priest/Munger/Chadsey too?! lol

I swear it sounds like we are from the same neighborhood in SW.

I went to Priest, moved to warren and evergreen around 5th though so ended up going to ann arbor trail and cody after that. Don't think it really got bad till I moved from there. Though I do remember being teased for smiling to much. My mom swears I was the happiest kid she new when I was real little but to this day I still find myself suppressing the urge to smile alot of the time.

Edited by Shaun
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Hm I'll throw in my 2 cents.

Bullies suck, we all remember them as a kid, or maybe were the bully? But to be honest, knowing now than what I did then as a kid, I'm glad I wasn't a bully. A bully's home usually isn't a happy place, wich is the reason they act out agressively at school, it's like a pecking order.

But.. bullies serve a purpose. It's a lesson in life that you need to learn early on in life. To stand up for yourself. To get the courage, face your fears, stand up for yourself, don't take shit, and fight back. Those who didn't overcome this lesson usually struggle harder in their early adult life because they don't know how to stand up for themselves.

Also on the flip side, a bully needs to get stood up to, get his/her ass kicked as a child. Because then he learns intimidation and violence isn't how life is run all the time, and will be forced to develope other social skills other than insults.

I wouldn't want my kids to go to a school that's "safe" from bullies. It's nothing like real life, and they'll be getting robbed of alot of hard lessons that may only cost them a few tears learning the hard way as a kid, but as an adult, the price is usually extremely steeper to learn the hard way.

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and for the record, we are failing hard as a society where kids are picking suicide over getting a backbone and fighting back. I'll tell my kids to hit their bullies square in the fucking nose and if they get in trouble at school, to don't even worry about it, I'll have their back for defending themselves.

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and for the record, we are failing hard as a society where kids are picking suicide over getting a backbone and fighting back. I'll tell my kids to hit their bullies square in the fucking nose and if they get in trouble at school, to don't even worry about it, I'll have their back for defending themselves.

I have to disagree with you on this one. Violence is never fixed by more violence. It only begets more violence. You can't expect a kid to just have a backbone. They are kids we are the ones who teach them how to handle tough situations. Some kids are naturally tougher then others and those kids are sometimes bullies. Every kid is different. In one of my own bullying experiences i told a teacher and was punished for tattling and then made fun of for it. Parents should raise thier kids to not be jerks and have manners. Teachers at school should react swiftly to incidents in the school systems. The suicides are absolutley devastating. The stories awakened something in our counrty and more schools are having anti bullying campaigns.

I also wanted to thank everyone to writing on your own experiences in this topic. Its nice to now that I wasn't the only one who was teased and bullied. :grouphug

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I never had problems when I got physical. I remember being in kindergarten and getting kicked off the bus for a few days after smacking a 5th grader for not stopping when my sister's friend asked repeated times for said 5th grader to stop flicking her hair.

I eventually chimed in "Quit it". I caught him flicking her hair, I turned around and said "She said stop it." He did it again, I said "Stop it or I'll hit you." He did it again. *WHAP*

Bus came to a screeching halt. Kid stopped bugging my sister's friend after that. 5th grader got bitch-slapped by a 5-year-old. XD

But no, I believe in standing up for myself. It's what both my parents taught me. However, they also stressed to never fight unless necessary. I've never felt it necessary, in whatever situation I've been in. Then again, let's just hope that the day I do have to get physical, the person deserves every bit. ;>>

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I have to disagree with you on this one. Violence is never fixed by more violence. It only begets more violence. You can't expect a kid to just have a backbone. They are kids we are the ones who teach them how to handle tough situations. Some kids are naturally tougher then others and those kids are sometimes bullies. Every kid is different. In one of my own bullying experiences i told a teacher and was punished for tattling and then made fun of for it. Parents should raise thier kids to not be jerks and have manners. Teachers at school should react swiftly to incidents in the school systems. The suicides are absolutley devastating. The stories awakened something in our counrty and more schools are having anti bullying campaigns.

I also wanted to thank everyone to writing on your own experiences in this topic. Its nice to now that I wasn't the only one who was teased and bullied. :grouphug

I'll have to disagree with you too. We lost our backbone as a society. Now instead of the average fist fight, kids are total cowards and are too afraid to fight back for fear of even worse consequences until they snap and commit homicide or suicide.. how come we have so many more school shootings and suicides than like say.. 20 years ago and longer? Because back then people weren't afraid to go to fists in school. At least with fists, both stay alive to see another day. Also.. every bully I've had, violence worked wonders. Sometimes, violence is the only language people will understand/listen to. I was picked on all throughout my school year, not just teasing, but would get physically pushed around and roughed up too sometimes. I remember this one douche bag in 5th grade.. throughout the whole year he'd torment the shit out of me. I'd tell the staff, nothing would happen, nothing would change. Well one day, I've decided enough was enough, grabbed a #2 pencil, and stabbed him in his back so deep and hard that the tip broke off underneath his skin. Up until the 9th grade.. NOBODY fucked with me after that. Then in the 9th grade, here comes another bully.. would try to bully me and push me around, insult me.. most the time i just sat there and listened to his insults because the insults he would try to fling out were retarded and in a weird way, amusing. But, he was a cocky asshole, always tried to pick fights with me where I'd always turn the other way. Well one day, it just wasn't his day cuz I was in no mood for his bullshit. A quick 5 minute fight, and he was crying with a broken nose and ribs. After that, never had a problem from him or his jock itch gang.

I'm not exactly condoning violence here, I'd much rather take a better alternative than to fight. But in the world of a child, sometimes it just comes to maning up with balled fists and fight back.

Violence will always go with humanity, like flies on shit. Sometimes, you just gotta accept that side of you to keep it under control rather than denying it and letting it control you.

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This sounds like fodder for another topic.

Standing up to bullies vs suffering through it (and trying to get grown ups to stop it)

It can be very hard to stand up, esp when it's not a bully but a group of people teasing.

And of course when the person is a lot stronger than you,

if you DON'T succeed it hitting someone, they could pulverize you.

And then you'll get laughed at for getting your ass kicked.

I can see both sides. I wish I stood up a few times, but I don't think that's our real problem.

As LPK said, we need to make our parents and our educators accountable.

To put a fine point on Epic Fail Guy's claim of the root cause of bullying There would be no suicides if parents paid attention to their kids and raised them right instead of treating them like shit and abusing them at home.

Emotionally I want to agree 500% with everything Epic Fail Guy said.

In fact, I would love to go back and kcik the ass of every person that ever made me feel small.

But my head says NO.

First of all, the bully usually doesn't learn shit. Here's why.

Watch what happens to that bully after a beatdown. He doesn't stop bullying. He stops bullying you

Then he moves on to other people to bully.

Secondly, beating up a bully teaches you to handle violence with more violence. Great value.

Also, I COMPLETELY disagree that there's more suicides and school shootings than there used to be.

There's just MORE COVERAGE of suicides and school shootings than there used to be.

Turn on Nancy Grace. That woman is OBSESSED with any sensational death or missing girl.

Another reason we're seeing more coverage now, and this is a good thing, is that we care about gay people.

I'm sorry but we didn't give a shit before.

Don't tell me Matthew Shepard is the first gay guy tied to a post and left for dead.

He's just the first one we cared about.

Don't ask don't tell will be a thing of the past soon.

Gay marriage will be seen in our lifetime.

What this says is we actually are starting to think about gays as equals now.

Amazing!

Women too.

We TALK about gay bashing now.

We TALK about domestic violence now

We TALK about rampant molestation in the churches.

But it's not anything new.

It's always gone on. We just didn't acknowledge it.

With the advent of reality television, we have become extremely focused on our lives and what happens to average people.

It has made us more soulless and sensationalistic and given us an inflated sense of our own worth.

BUT, along with our endless naval-gazing, we are finally acknowledging that there are problems in our lives and in kids' lives.

Problems that should be addressed.

And we need to make the schools accountable.

We need to teach them how to deal with bullies, and create an environment that doesn't allow bullying.

And on an individual basis, the schools need to start suspending and expelling kids that don't learn.

BECAUSE schools turning a blind eye to bullies, despite repeated complaints by kids/parents,

teaches the bully they can get away with it.

Schools don't do shit. They don't give a g-damn about protecting the kids they're supposed to be nurturing.

And they could. It's not that hard.

This board is a perfect example of what the schools could do.

There are bullies that come on here. They are complete assholes and they do nothing but start shit.

And then they get banned.

It's not a perfect system.

I can think of a couple former mods that I wouldn't mind getting a second chance, but overall it works.

I was bullied on here by a complete dick fuck. He made fun of me in posts and PMs.

He got warned.

He trashed the things I liked and the people I liked.

He got warned.

Then he PMed me that I wears worthless and that no one liked me.

And that Troy hated me. And that everyone laughed at me. And that I should leave the board.

And then he got banned. (If you're curious, he now apparently DJs around Detroit, and unless you've been on this board for 5 years, it is NOT who you think it is)

Why can't schools do the same thing?

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To put a fine point on Epic Fail Guy's claim of the root cause of bullying There would be no suicides if parents paid attention to their kids and raised them right instead of treating them like shit and abusing them at home.

Right here alone deserves the +1 the most IMO. I couldn't have said it better. Society is failing hard by going for the pretend fix instead of doing some real work. We think everything comes with instantly and if not, we don't have the patience to bother with it. Sad reality, it takes patience to properly and effectively raise children. Patience that most people don't have anymore due to our instant gratification obsessed culture.

I blame the fast foods for starting this lazy trend. lol

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Also, your disagreeing comment about the values i learned with fighting back.. well i mean i have my own personal experiences to disagree with you. But on the same token, I fully understand where you are coming from on your views of this too. What I learned is, fists were the only way to get these fuckers to stop. And once it resorted to that, after it was said and done, no more fights or harassmenmt. They'd leave me alone, and after that, there was no problems, i didn't seek them out to whoop em again, i don't like violence (hard to believe with what i've been preaching here i know) But I really don't like violence. I don't like getting attacked, and I don't like having to fight back, if there's another option, I'll take that first trust me. And the only reason why I'll go to fists with someone now, is the same reason why I'd go to fists with a bully as a kid. If that's the only way to communicate to this asshole to leave me the fuck alone, then so be it. I'll go to fists with the goal that this is gonna settle the dispute and prevent any further incidences between me and the person.

And sometimes bullies do learn, when other kids saw me stand up against one kid when a whole class room was against me, they ALL backed down.. no one wanted to be next to get stabbed with a #2 pencil. And others that were being bullied by that kid well.. by me kicking his ass... he didn't look so scary anymore to the other kids he bullied, and soon they were standing up to him. Within a week his whole attitude in school changed and he was actually sucking up to the ones he used to bully to be friends.

6th grade, we turned out to be really cool friends actually. But that's kinda just how guys are, we hate each other, we fight, then ironicly, we become buddies. Guy was pretty cool, had a really shit homelife though so I did feel for him. But once he learned to actually talk to other kids, he got the communication he needed and wasn't getting at home and honestly.. the kids grades improved, he loved school, and got to set up his own values in life instead of venting his frustrations on other kids making his school life hell for himself.

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Secondly, beating up a bully teaches you to handle violence with more violence. Great value.

although...

I promised you dad not to do

the things you’ve done

I'll walk away from trouble when I can

Now please don’t think I’m weak

I didn’t turn the other cheek

and papa I sure hope you understand

sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man

- Kenny Rogers, Coward of the County

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  • 3 weeks later...

I did a whole blog entry about this here:

http://amaltheasattic.com/blog/?p=530

basically, there was very little I WASN'T bullied for. I was teased about my name, my face, my illness, my heritage, my clothing, my standing, my abilities and my deficits. I'm actually shocked to this day that I didn't kill myself.

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  • 4 months later...

As much as I hate to admit it, I was actually a bully. I never got bullied or made fun of. The things they say about bullies being insecure is true. I spent years of pent up insecurity and anxiety over my true nature on running around and nipping some butts. When I started to get more in touch with myself through the Diaper Community, I learned a lot about why I did some of the things I did. I highly recommend people listen to their hearts and not let society tell them that diapers and things normally enjoyed by babies are only for babies and the incontinent senile.

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