Moving out?

[victoriavengeance (1)]

So, part of this is for advice, and part of it is to hear your stories, but mostly advice XD

My parents are slightly nazis, I'm legally an adult [18], however in their eyes I'm forever their 'little baby' [also an only child, which has a lot to do with it.] I have a curfew [12 am ON WEEKENDS, 9:30 on week DAYS.], I can only go 'out' once or twice a weekend, and while I have health issues that I understand need to be addressed, I think it is a TAD bit ridiculous.

My parents decided that we are moving to the Traverse City area in less than a year.

And they have told me that I HAVE to move with them, and that I can not move out or find different housing arrangements.

Frankly, that's ridiculous.

How exactly did you end up moving out/when did you/when do you plan on/strategies?

I'd like to not ruin my relationship with my antichri- I mean, family, but, it's not looking likely to turn out in that favor.

and I'm NOT moving up there. I don't know anyone, I don't like nature, there's ONE mall in like a 40 mile radius, there are TWO clubs, and both don't even offer an alternative night, so I don't think I'd make that many friends.

I'm going to end up turning into some country girl! HELPPPP

[Eevee]

lol

If your parents are not giving you the freedom a girl your age should have, then they are the ones ruining the relationship, not you.

So I'd say fuck it.

Find another place to live if you don't want to move out their and continue to follow their rules until you're 30. Otherwise, deal with it.

[creatureofthenyte]

So, part of this is for advice, and part of it is to hear your stories, but mostly advice XD

My parents are slightly nazis, I'm legally an adult [18], however in their eyes I'm forever their 'little baby' [also an only child, which has a lot to do with it.] I have a curfew [12 am ON WEEKENDS, 9:30 on week DAYS.], I can only go 'out' once or twice a weekend, and while I have health issues that I understand need to be addressed, I think it is a TAD bit ridiculous.

My parents decided that we are moving to the Traverse City area in less than a year.

And they have told me that I HAVE to move with them, and that I can not move out or find different housing arrangements.

Frankly, that's ridiculous.

How exactly did you end up moving out/when did you/when do you plan on/strategies?

I'd like to not ruin my relationship with my antichri- I mean, family, but, it's not looking likely to turn out in that favor.

and I'm NOT moving up there. I don't know anyone, I don't like nature, there's ONE mall in like a 40 mile radius, there are TWO clubs, and both don't even offer an alternative night, so I don't think I'd make that many friends.

I'm going to end up turning into some country girl! HELPPPP

Ma'am,

You are 18, a legal adult.

Your parents have No legal jurisdiction over you anymore.

If you wanted to move out tomorrow and tell your folks to screw off, you could.

Although, if you have nowhere to go, and no money, that would be a slight problem.

However, if you Do have money, or friends you could move in with and be roomies with, then by all means go for it.

This may sound contradictory, but it is kind of important to keep a good relationship with your parents.

They could end up being your safety net, if your plans don't pan out.

Good Luck

[Raev]

How exactly did you end up moving out/when did you/when do you plan on/strategies?

I moved out initially at 17. Moved in with some friends until I was able to rent a place of my own. That didn't take very long, you can get little apartments in the burbs pretty cheaply.

[Hellion]

Now that is messed up,by law your 18 they have no say on what you do,like moving out,that is your decision.I don't blame you for nit wanting to live in an area where you don't know anyone.hope everything turns out for the better for you.

[Shaun]

I actually stayed home to help my mom cover the mortgage after the child support from my dad ended. When I was around 23-24 and my brother was just turning 18 she moved in with my Aunt and left us the house. Good Times .

[jynxxxedangel]

Welp....if you're going to college, or just living on their dime in general, you're pretty much screwed, as "living under dad & mom's house rules" is usually the condition that comes with those situations. However, if you're NOT going to college, you have a job, you have some money put away to get your own place, and you're not under any sort of parole or legal guardianship (due to mental/physical illness), they have NO legal right to force you to move away, against your will.

P.S. What's wrong with being a country girl? I grew up in the country, and actually prefer rural areas to the city-- and I'm a pretty happenin' chick!

[TitsMcGee]

You might want to be careful on this depending on what your health problems are, because your parents could go to court and have a guardian declared for you meaning you'd have to move with them. Now seeing as I'm from "Up north" I can tell you that TC isn't so bad. Hell they have a Roller Derby team and I know they have kids your age that are goth/alternative. TC is not "country" by any means, Michael Moore calls it his home..granted it's not like we want him to but that is besides the point.

I'd just also like to say I'm a bit offending you say becoming country is a bad thing.

Edit to add:

Here is TC's website, that tells you everything that there is to do there. It's the Detroit (or Ann Arbor) of the North basically. You'd only have to worry about being bored out of your mind and being turned into a country girl if you were moving to the east side of the state, where I live.

http://www.traversecity.com/index.php

Edited December 3, 2010 by TitsMcGee

[Onyx]

Tits McGee has a very good point - proceed carefully but I'm sure mom and dad will adjust soon enough. They have got to let go eventually. (and I have a kid in college - and this just happened last year so it's a little hard for me to understand a parent trying to hold a kid back).

I was overjoyed to see my child going off on her own and becoming an independent young woman.

I hear you on the country thing. I'm miserable out in the country. (and I used to live in the middle of 5 acres so I can definitely say I've experienced it). Not for me.

Edited to add -- critical factor here is -- do you have a job and are you able to support yourself? If so go for it and if not, definitely get on it fast. Would your health problems prevent you working a couple of jobs if necessary (sometimes it is absolutely the only way when first starting out).

Edited December 3, 2010 by Onyx

[victoriavengeance (1)]

You might want to be careful on this depending on what your health problems are, because your parents could go to court and have a guardian declared for you meaning you'd have to move with them. Now seeing as I'm from "Up north" I can tell you that TC isn't so bad. Hell they have a Roller Derby team and I know they have kids your age that are goth/alternative. TC is not "country" by any means, Michael Moore calls it his home..granted it's not like we want him to but that is besides the point.

I'd just also like to say I'm a bit offending you say becoming country is a bad thing.

Edit to add:

Here is TC's website, that tells you everything that there is to do there. It's the Detroit (or Ann Arbor) of the North basically. You'd only have to worry about being bored out of your mind and being turned into a country girl if you were moving to the east side of the state, where I live.

http://www.traversecity.com/index.php

I say Traverse City AREA, because where they're moving is Harrietta Village.

Population 300 something.

Biggest public building is a fish hatchery.

it's 50 minutes away from Traverse City.

I like small towns, but I don't WANT THAT right now.

Maybe when I'm older, like them, and wanting to be out of the city.

But I don't want to./

I just turned eighteen last year, I JUST graduated high school last year, and I want to be able to go out with my friends and be free and work and go to school and just enjoy the next handful of years and being young. I've worked two jobs for the past two years to support myself so that they didn't have to worry about it because they're always strapped for cash.

-.-

it's just difficult. my mom is ridiculously manipulative, and I'm trying to figure out the way to best do it with both parties still okay with each other.

[Destroit]

MOVE!

That said...why would anyone be offended that she's afraid of becoming country? People aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? If I didn't live by a decaying heaping ghetto I would feel really out of my element, so I know what she is getting at when she says she'd prefer to be area-specific. I don't understand why anyone would care enough to get pissy over something like another person's harmless opinion.

MOVE!

That said...why would anyone be offended that she's afraid of becoming country? People aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? If I didn't live by a decaying heaping ghetto I would feel really out of my element, so I know what she is getting at when she says she'd prefer to be area-specific. I don't understand why anyone would care enough to get pissy over something like another person's harmless opinion.

[victoriavengeance (1)]

especially when I said an AREA surrounding the largest city where I'm moving ;] seeing as I'm not actually moving to the aforementioned city ;]

[Slogo]

You're 18. You can do what you want. Provided you can/have a place to live they can't do anything about it. They may be a little sore when you tell them that you aren't leaving. Maybe they'd be better down the line ( I don't know that one for sure because by now you've guessed that I don't know your parents).

But as far as not wanting to live in the country, I can relate. A few years ago a friend and I went to his dad's house in the country for a weekend and I nearly lost my mind. I too, need to live in an area where there's stuff.

[Epic_Fail_Guy]

So, part of this is for advice, and part of it is to hear your stories, but mostly advice XD

My parents are slightly nazis, I'm legally an adult [18], however in their eyes I'm forever their 'little baby' [also an only child, which has a lot to do with it.] I have a curfew [12 am ON WEEKENDS, 9:30 on week DAYS.], I can only go 'out' once or twice a weekend, and while I have health issues that I understand need to be addressed, I think it is a TAD bit ridiculous.

My parents decided that we are moving to the Traverse City area in less than a year.

And they have told me that I HAVE to move with them, and that I can not move out or find different housing arrangements.

Frankly, that's ridiculous.

How exactly did you end up moving out/when did you/when do you plan on/strategies?

I'd like to not ruin my relationship with my antichri- I mean, family, but, it's not looking likely to turn out in that favor.

and I'm NOT moving up there. I don't know anyone, I don't like nature, there's ONE mall in like a 40 mile radius, there are TWO clubs, and both don't even offer an alternative night, so I don't think I'd make that many friends.

I'm going to end up turning into some country girl! HELPPPP

You're a legal adult now, if you can find a job to support yourself and your needs, go for it.

The sad reality you face, is one I faced, as long as you're living with your parents, you are under their roof, and they have the right to make the rules. I feel you on the fact you'd like to keep good relations with the family, however, it looks as if they do not feel the same as they care about their rules more than your happiness.

What it boils down to is, it's your life, you have the right to chose to live it how you wish. As painful as it may be, if they chose not to have anything to do with you based on what values you set for yourself, that's their problem.

It may cause hardships, but eventually, they'll come around and realize they no longer have the right to dictate to you how you should live life. However, in turn, they reserve the right to not support your way of life too.

[TitsMcGee]

MOVE!

That said...why would anyone be offended that she's afraid of becoming country? People aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? If I didn't live by a decaying heaping ghetto I would feel really out of my element, so I know what she is getting at when she says she'd prefer to be area-specific. I don't understand why anyone would care enough to get pissy over something like another person's harmless opinion.

Because I'm tired of people acting like becoming a little bit country is the kiss of death. You guys forget, I live up here full time...it maybe boring but it's home. And believe me, living on the west side of the state will be a cake walk.

[Shaun]

Because I'm tired of people acting like becoming a little bit country is the kiss of death. You guys forget, I live up here full time...it maybe boring but it's home. And believe me, living on the west side of the state will be a cake walk.

Probably because for some people it feels like it would be. I'm sure there are people where you live that feel the same way about moving to the city. Don't think it would bother me much either way, I'm pretty much a hermit anyway, but to each their own.

[prick]

I wonder if your parents would trade me for you?

[victoriavengeance (1)]

ugh probably not, they're like a half a step away from locking me in a tower. I should probably grow out my hair. fuck princes, dgn will come climb up my long locks and save me.

Edited December 3, 2010 by victoriavengeance

[Eevee]

We will? Sounds like too much hassle.

[Slogo]

ugh probably not, they're like a half a step away from locking me in a tower. I should probably grow out my hair. fuck princes, dgn will come climb up my long locks and save me.

I'm pretty fat. That'd be painful for ya

[eatdirt426]

If all you have to worry about is the way your parents are treating you and the place they are moving thank your lucky stars. Freedom isnt all its cracked up to be, when you move out you have to worry about real things like bills, rent, food, a job or sometimes two or more jobs, car payment, maintence on the vehicle, car insurance, and then if you still have money after that fun things. Jobs arent easy to come by in this state especially for someone with just a high school diploma and a cosmetology certificate. I dont mean to be negative but have you thought about this realistically? Before you critize your parents maybe you should look at this way at least they love you enough to want you around. You could have it way worse, your parents could be alcholics or drug addicts or they could abuse you. I came from an unhappy home my mom up and moved and left me to take care of my grandma when I was 18, my father was never around and was an alcholic and an occasional coke user. At 18 years old I would have given my left arm to have the parents you have at least they care and love you.

[kat (1)]

I'm pretty fat. That'd be painful for ya

SLOGO!!!! Your not fat, your awesome:)

Edited December 3, 2010 by kat

[victoriavengeance (1)]

If all you have to worry about is the way your parents are treating you and the place they are moving thank your lucky stars. Freedom isnt all its cracked up to be, when you move out you have to worry about real things like bills, rent, food, a job or sometimes two or more jobs, car payment, maintence on the vehicle, car insurance, and then if you still have money after that fun things. Jobs arent easy to come by in this state especially for someone with just a high school diploma and a cosmetology certificate. I dont mean to be negative but have you thought about this realistically? Before you critize your parents maybe you should look at this way at least they love you enough to want you around. You could have it way worse, your parents could be alcholics or drug addicts or they could abuse you. I came from an unhappy home my mom up and moved and left me to take care of my grandma when I was 18, my father was never around and was an alcholic and an occasional coke user. At 18 years old I would have given my left arm to have the parents you have at least they care and love you.

actually I'm going to have an associates degree in two semesters, so come next December I will be finished with my Associates, and I won't have a certificate, I will have a cosmetology License. I will have a High School Diploma, Cosmetology License, and an Associates Degree in Applied Science. And I will only be 19.

And I have looked at it both ways.

Yes, it would be easier to just bear with it and move with them, but it will mess up my schooling, I will not be able to finish my Associates until NEXT year, and I already have my next two years of school planned out down here, not 4 hours north.

And I already have bills, haha. I pay over 500 dollars a month for my bills, and have two jobs. on top of going to school seven hours a day.

And I cannot continue to be in this house or any house with my mom. She's manic depressive and emotionally abusive. I understand that you did not have an easy childhood with your home life, but mine isn't exactly peachy keen. It's really not about whether my parents love me or not, or if you had it worse than I have, because that sucks and I'm sad for you, but I'm dealing with MY problem, not yours. And you telling me it could be worse is true, but that doesn't mean that it is. it's still shitty in its own way.

they've never really supported what I personally wanted to do. I didn't want to do Cosmetology, however my mom said well I know you don't want to do it, but you're going to, because it's a good program.

So here I am, finishing it.

I don't really like it, but I'm finishing it because she wanted me to. I respect their wishes, but I'm an adult, and I do not want to move up north. And this time it will not be 'I know you don't want to, but you're going to.' Because I don't want to, and I don't have to, and I do not plan on it.

I understand the whole there are bills to pay and shit like that. I've been paying bills since I was sixteen. I've been living an 'adult' lifestyle since I was sixteen, paying for everything on my own, working two jobs, and trying to make it easier on my family, because right now, they're filing a SECOND bankruptcy on our home so that they can move up north.

But that's not where I want to be. That's not where my education is. And it is unfair for me to be dragged along with them, with them not 'letting' me move out as an adult. I don't wish for our relationship to be fucked, and I'm just trying to do it the best way I can so that my mom isn't a psycho cunt and doesn't hate me and cut me out of her life.

Edited December 4, 2010 by victoriavengeance

[prick]

You might want to message Chernobyl if she is still looking for a room mate. They werent asking alot for rent and you would be by all the cool people like me.

[Destroit]

You might want to message Chernobyl if she is still looking for a room mate. They werent asking alot for rent and you would be by all the cool people like me.

We've been all full up since June and all tenants finally have steady jobs, so I'm not sure how fast any of them are moving out. Tom might end up getting his own place down the road after he saves a bit, but that could be awhile. Timata is living with us forever . Things do come up all the time though. We are possibly renovating the garage and adding three more rooms, but that would be at least in 2011. At least one of the rooms is to remain a guest room though, because we hoard people all the time.