Decrypting Newspeak.

[Vater Araignee]

Administrative Assistant:

(unword) replaces Secretary. Secretary from Latin, means Confidential Officer for some strange reason a Confidential Officer is a bad thing.

Affirmative Action:

(doublespeak) for racism. Implies that minority groups are so inferior that they need legal advantages to get a leg up.

American interest:

(doublespeak) for interest of American corporations. Used by politicians to start a wars, without explaining specific reasons as to why.

Anarcho-Capitalism:

An extreme form of Libertarian-Capitalism, where ALL (or most) services currently provided by government would be provided by private companies (This even includes services such as police forces, military, and judicial agencies). The only government would be weak local communities (perhaps with some state and national affiliations) that would contract this work out to private companies.

Anarcho-Socialism:

An extreme form of Libertarian-Socialism, where ALL companies would be directly controlled by employees through workers councils or other such arrangements. Most private property would be abolished, but everybody would be given a fair share of the 'collective property' for his own use. And most importantly, all this would be done without a central government. (or with a VERY limited coalition of communities)

Anarcho-Syndicalism:

An combination of Socialism and Capitalism, where the basic properties of the capitalist system would be maintained, but ownership of corporations would be handed over to the worker's (or to their Unions). The basic corporate structure would remain in tact, with the one exception that workers would hold majority ownership of all corporations, and only people that actually work for a company (the laborers who belong to trade unions) would be allowed to own stock. This majority ownership of corporations by the workers will empower them to make all key decisions in that organization, and entitle them to share directly in the profits. All leadership positions in the corporation would be filled by the workers themselves who would return to their old jobs after their term of service has ended. All government positions (if any) would be filled in a similar manner. Such a system would eliminate the need for current trade restrictions, since it is unlikely that a worker-owned company would elect to ship their own jobs across the border.

Anarchy:

This is defined by The American Heritage College Dictionary as "The theory or doctrine that all forms of government are unnecessary, oppressive, and undesirable and should be abolished." However there are various schools of Anarchist thought -- raging from pure Anarchism, which favors absolutely no centralized control, to those that wish to temper this complete chaos with some sort of order (such as Anarcho-Capitalist, Anarcho-Syndicalist, and Anarcho-Socialist)

Anti-Government Group:

(old) A group that fought what they believed where tyrannical practices perpetrated by their government.

(new) A group of people that possess an irrational fear the government, who will probably end up being arrested or killed some day, after all the government can do nothing to make you fear it.

Anti-Smoking Religion:

Belief that nobody would ever die if they succeed in banning tobacco. They seem to believe that people will live forever if they don't smoke. But in all actuality, a smoker's life expectancy is only diminished by about 6% ... and even that cannot be attributed entirely to smoking. This is because smokers generally not health conscience people to begin with. If they were, they probably wouldn't be smoking in the first place. (You don't see too many smokers hanging around the gym or at health food stores.)

It is also a belief that tobacco related illnesses cost the government money. In reality, it generates billions of dollars in tax revenues while at the same time saving billions of dollars in Social Security and Medicaid payments by killing smokers off early. It is much cheaper to pay for a 65-year-old's cancer treatment, than to pay for his prescriptions & social security for 6 more years, then still have to pay for his cancer treatment - or even worse - his Alzheimer's treatment.

Bipartisanship:

(doublespeak) for Conservatives acknowledge that Liberals are right, and support their programs. Do liberals ever acknowledge when a Conservative is right?

Borders:

(old) Lines that divide one country from another. Crossing borders and forcing residents out of their land by acts of violence, and living off the labors of the inhabitants (i.e. Slavery) was considered an act of war.

(new) Places to collect tariffs and perform random searches. Crossing borders and forcing residents out of their land by acts of violence, and living off the labors of the inhabitants (i.e. Welfare) is considered immigration.

Capitalism:

The belief that every man should be able to keep the fruits of his own labor, without them being stolen by the government for re-distribution.

Change:

(mislead) meaning newer is better. Rarely do the effects of "change" get fully examined. Remember.. Jim Crow laws were change. Prohibition was change. Nazism was change.

Compassionate Conservative:

A conservative that behaves like a Democrat to get elected. They try to change the programs to slightly reduce Federal control, but do nothing to stop them. In other words, a conservative who supports a limited amount of state-socialism in order to keep the surplus labor force alive.

Communist Party:

Socialist. Enjoys single party rule, and complete government control of production.

Community:

(old) Your neighbors.

(new) Your government.

Conspiracy theory:

Any theory which suggest that some person in power is actually lying to the public. We all know, our democratic leaders would never do such a thing. Come on... come on.

Constitution:

(old) Greatest document ever put to pen by man.

(new) Manifesto of a racist, Indian murdering Nation written by a bunch of slave owning, money grubbing revolutionary terrorist.

Crime:

(old) When a person commits fraud, theft, or violence against another citizen.

(new) Crime is still crime. But now, a person can be arrest for hurting himself. You know, victimless crimes such as seat-belt laws, drug laws, suicide laws, gambling laws, etc.

Note: These laws seem well intentioned but there is one despicable side effect of these laws. Since there are no "victims" to report the crime, the only way to insure their enforcement in to invade the privacy of the individual. Big Brother anyone?

Custodial Engineer:

(unword) replaces Janitor. Call it what you will, this is a person who is paid to clean up shit.

Deferred Success:

(unword) replaces Failure but actually means "Keep throwing money down the hole, you might actually fill it *wink wink*."

Democracy:

(old) [From Webster's Dictionary : Government by the people]. Government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation. When our country was founded, each representative represented 20,000-30,000 people

(new) The U.S. Government, which is actually a Republic. Each representative represents almost 1,000,000 people, and a Senator may represent over 10,000,000. With these ratios, it difficult to claim that anybody is really represented at all. The only people that are really represented are corporations and extremist groups large enough to hire lobbyist.

Democratic Party:

Primarily, a belief in State-Socialism heavily tempered by State-Capitalist beliefs along with some anti-nationalist, anti-religious, and pro-environmental tendencies. They favor control of the government by 2 parties, that way they can have somebody to blame when thing go wrong. Enjoys block votes from gays, teachers, blacks, immigrants, welfare recipients, members of the press, NAACP members, environmentalist, pro-choicers, Union leaders, and people who hate Republicans.

Department of Defense:

(mislead) Department concerned with the defense of America's borders but means Department concerned with the defense of American corporate interests.

Dictator:

An evil man who maintains power by intimidation and force, and refuses to obey the United States.

Discrimination:

(old) Ability to notice differences. (to discriminate, discern)

(new) Racism. There are no differences between races. Anyone that says that there are differences is a bigot. Suggesting that there are differences is to imply that one way of life might possibly be better than another. In addition, the cultural differences between the races must be respected and protected by law.

Orwell called this doublethink-The ability to hold two completely contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accept both of them.

Diversity:

(old) Possessing a wide range of qualities.

(new) A society which accepts all types of people, except for... Oh come on do I really need to fill in the unjust blanks here?

Domestic Engineer:

(unword) replaces Housewife. This is to remove the necessity of marriage from the task of raising children and eventually remove parents completely.

Dysfunctional family:

(unword) replaces Broken Home removing the implication that something needs to be fixed.

Economically disadvantaged area:

(unword) replaces Ghetto. This term is used by politicians who believe money from the Government would solve all of the problems. (See : State-Socialism)

Economic Justice:

see State-Socialism

Educational System:

An opportunity for special interest groups to re-program children. The prime obstacle to this agenda is the fact that local and state governments run the schools. This makes it difficult to enact these programs over the whole nation, since you have to convince every legislature and every local school board that you are right. But don't worry - both Republicans and Democrats are implementing ways for the federal government to improve local school systems.

Environmentalist:

One devoted to a political agenda, whose main goal is to "save the world". They fight for legislation to protect the environment from humans without regard to the environmental repercussions and no matter the cost or its effect on the general populace.

Teach starving men to hunt, feed them for life and keep prey populations at healthy levels, prevent a starving men from hunting, make them demand hand outs and cause the prey populations to explode, over graze and starve too.

Equality:

(old) Equal treatment under the law. The belief that no person should be treated differently from another.

(new) If any inequities are discovered in society, create laws which provide special treatment for them in order to make them equal.

Extremist:

Anybody that has an opinion that differs from current government policy. This term allows politicians to speak of their rival's agendas without actually having to explain exactly what their rival's beliefs are.

Fairy:

Too Homophobic. Replaced by Petite airborne humanoid which possesses magical powers. The term fairy should be avoided when discussing these mythical beings, regardless of how flaming they may appear.

Free Election:

Supposedly, an election in which people are free to choose the candidate of their choice, completely unencumbered by the government. Of course, no such thing has ever truly existed, since all elections are regulated by the parties currently in power.

Freedom of the Press:

(old) right of private individuals to print and distribute information and opinions without interference, subject only to laws against indecency and libel.

(new) right of individuals to invade people’s privacy, stalk and harass them, and print and distribute false information, rumors and opinions as fact.

Full life:

Living to be old enough to develop Alzheimer's and multiple other ailments, and die a degrading death in a pool of your own feces in a nursing home (to which outrageous fees are payed to stay in.... usually resulting in all off your assets being sold).

This luxury is being mandated by politicians that wish to guarantee a safe world, in which nobody will die prematurely from their lifestyle choices.

Fundamentalism:

Belief that government should be based on the fundamental principles of one particular set of religious beliefs, and that government should be intolerant of other religious views and to secularism. While this term is normally only used to describe Islamic nations, it can be argued that all societies posses some sort of Fundamentalist beliefs. (See: Religious-Right)

Gay Rights:

(mislead) Denying the right for anybody to argue with a homosexual's political views including the ones that don't concern sex.

Gun Control:

(doublespeak) for We have to make more potential criminals and victims because only law abiding citizens will turn in their guns and old criminals will only have to worry about the new ones we made.

Hard Interrogation:

Torture committed by the U.S. and Allies.(see: Torture)

Hate Crime:

A normal crime that receives harsher punishment because the perpetrator is also guilty of a thought crime.

Homeless Person:

(unword) replaces Bum. Referring to Bums as a "Homeless Persons" removes stigma, and implies that all Bums would be a perfectly normal citizens if only the government would give them a houses. [see :State-Socialism]

Homo-phobia:

I don't get it, it literally means fear of same, shouldn't it be homosexual-phobia? Unfortunately used to describe someone who disagrees with any political desire of a homosexual.

Justice:

(old) The notion that a person should be punished for transgressing others.

(new) The notion that a group of people should be punished for the actions of their ancestors.

Left Wing:

Term that limits the range of expression when discussing issues. The idea that there are only 2 sides to every argument, the Republican and Democratic sides. These terms give the public the idea that there are only two possible sources of ideas, and that these two "opposing" sides represent the entire gambit of thought.

Liberal:

(Old) Free from narrow prejudice; open minded, especially, open to the reception of new ideas or proposals of reform.

(new) Full of hatred for past Ideas, and completely intolerant of the people that still believe in them.

Most liberal arguments basically boil down to "Shut up in the name of open-mindedness and free speech!". The liberal observes evils in society, and then attempts to remedy the problem with an even greater evil, failing that they will try to find an equivalent evil. (see: Affirmative Action)

Libertarian Party:

Semi-Free-Market Capitalist. The U.S. Constitution is their bible. They favor multi-party rule of government, and believe that the state's power should be extremely limited. Receives block votes from people who have taken the time to actually read the constitution, and people who hate Democrats & Republicans

Libertarian-Capitalism:

When one hears the term Libertarian from a non-Libertarian you can bet they are using this type to dissuade you.

It is a belief in free-markets (little or no state intervention in the economy) and a strong belief in personal freedoms. Governments would only provide basic services (police, a judiciary system, and military). For the most part, this was the type of government supported by most of the founding fathers of the United States, but over the years our system has succumbed to various State-Socialist and State-Capitalist elements.

Libertarian-Socialism:

The type of Libertarianism supported by people such as George Orwell and Noam Chomsky. They despise oppression in all it's forms - whether it comes from an oppressive government, or from all-powerful corporations - and therefore seek to suppress all forms of power while at the same time allowing for a large numbers of personal freedoms. Like their Libertarian-Capitalist counterparts, they believe that there is a legitimate role for government in society (police, a judiciary system, etc.), but wish to expand the economic power of the state slightly so that the state has the power to promote economic equality wile reducing the civil power to promote better individual Liberty.

Liberty:

(old) Freedom from government oppression.

(new) No meaning. Most people recognize it as a word which appears in several old "patriotic" songs and in the names of several old monuments, but most have no idea what it really means. Most modern political movements are unable to acknowledge the true meaning of this word, since it would interfere with their obsession of using government programs to re-organize the thoughts and behaviors of society.

Machiavellian Politics:

Modern Politics. (See: The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli)

Melting Pot:

(old) America is a land of immigrants. The culture of America has been produced by a mix of many diverse cultures.

(new) The Melting pot is has been turned off, so it can remain chunky (see : Multiculturalism). To suggest that Immigrants should melt into American society is racist.

Mental Illness:

(unword) replaces Crazy. Since it is an illness it implies that it can be fixed.

Militants:

(old) People that will fight for their beliefs.

(new) People that hold beliefs that are different from yours, and refuse to change their mind.

Militia:

(old) A army of regular citizens, important to the security of a free state. (See : The 2nd Amendment)

(new) A group of political or religious wackos which threaten the authority of the U.S. federal government.

Moral Majority:

Neither "Moral" nor a "Majority". (See: Religious Right)

Multiculturalism:

Belief that a country is merely a piece of land, and not the old notion of it as a organization created to unify people of a similar culture.

National Security:

(doublespeak) for, An excuse for the government to ignore the constitution. [We all want to be "safe" don’t we?]

Native Americans:

1) People whose ancestors immigrated here over 10,000 years ago, and who were forced from their homes by European immigrants.

2) People who were born in the US, and are being driven from their neighborhoods by modern immigration.

Narrow Minded Bigot:

One who does not speak PC or Newspeak as their sole language.

Non-conformist:

A usually false claim on the basis that they're into performance art, vote for democrats, have a nose ring, or because they make some other sort of superficial fashion statement made by the "politically correct" crowd.

Organized Crime:

Groups that make profit from actions deemed "illegal"... and these groups also posses enough political clout to make sure these actions are kept illegal.

If prostitution, drugs and gambling were made legal, organized would loose their primary reason for being, and would be force to become a legitimate business. That would mean they wouldn't be allowed to kill their competitors or charge outrageous prices for there services.....Plus... They would have to put up with government regulation, and they would have to start paying taxes ....that just wouldn't be good for business!!!

Open-Minded:

One who vigorously attacks anyone that isn't as closed-minded as themselves.

Patriot:

(old) One who loves his country and culture.

(new) Bigot , Racist, Possible Terrorist.

Peace:

(old) No war. A state in which each nation leaves the others alone.

(new) A state of world occupation. There may be localized conflicts, but these are caused by "troublemakers" who are unable to get along with their neighbors and who interfere with the UN's quest for world government. The path to peace lies in the nations of the world disarming, and leaving multinational "peacekeeping" forces in charge.

Plant:

(unword) replaces Factory. A Factory is a place where mistreated laborers toil long hours to produce pollution that billows forth from gigantic smokestacks. Plant is preferred since it is more difficult for this term to carry a negative connotation since this term is also used to describe nature.

Politically Correct:

Adhering to the principles of newspeak. Like unwords, misleads, definition changes and implied meanings that differ from actual practice.

Racist:

(old) One that believes his race to be superior. Would rather be among ignorant members of his own race, than intelligent members of a different race.

(new) The old meaning and/or Somebody that does not agree with the political agenda of a Minority organization

Religious-Right:

Belief that government should enforce some of the basic fundamental principles of Christianity. (See: Fundamentalism)

Republican Party:

Primarily, a belief in State-Capitalism heavily tempered by Libertarian and free-market beliefs along with some pro-nationalist, pro-religious, and militaristic tendencies. They favor control of the government by 2 parties, that way they can have somebody to blame when things go wrong. Enjoys block votes from Businessmen, Christians, pro-lifers, and people who hate Democrats.

Rights:

(old) The inalienable rights of man. The "Bill of rights" is a short list of shall-nots for the federal government, which protect citizens by containing the power of government.

(new) Entitlements. "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" has been superseded by the right to "Ignorance, financial security, and the pursuit of lawsuits".

Right Wing:

Term that limits the range of expression when discussing issues. The idea that there are only 2 sides to every argument, the Republican and Democratic sides. These terms give the public the idea that there are only two possible sources of ideas, and that these two "opposing" sides represent the entire gambit of thought.

Rule of Law:

A state in which all government officials obey the same laws that they lay down for their subjects. Of course, this is very rare - most often being found in countries that have recently gone through a revolution. However, this generally has a lifespan shorter than that of the average Hassium263 atom.

Sexual Misconduct:

A charge which must be taken seriously if the accused is conservative, but should be carefully examined if the accused is liberal.

Since liberals are the ones that created most of these laws in the first place, it is unthinkable that any of them would be guilty of committing this sort of crime themselves. The only explanation is that they are being harassed by gutter sluts that only want to become famous by harming an honest politician.

But, of course, if the charge is brought against a politician with conservative beliefs, we must applaud the honest woman who had the courage to stand up against these evil tyrants.

If you need to see examples of this policy in action, just compare how differently Clarence Thomas, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, and Bob Packwood were treated by the press and the so-called "woman's rights" groups ... Clarence Thomas was nearly denied a seat on the supreme court because he flirted with a co-worker... Bob Packwood was hounded to do the "honorable thing" and resign ... Ted Kennedy is, of course, a Kennedy - what else would you expect from royalty? ... and Bill Clinton was simply a victim of a vast "right-wing conspiracy".

Significant Other:

An unnamed human of unnamed gender who is un-insignificant.

Special Interests:

Implied: A group of people that have interests that are only important to them, and who try to get "special" treatment.

Actual: A group of people that have interest that goes against the interests of the special interests groups that contribute to our party.

State-Socialism:

The belief all members of society should receive a portion of what that country produces -- with this distribution of wealth under the direct control of the state. There are various schools of thought on just how equal those 'portions' should be - and how exactly redistribution should be achieved. At the very least, a Socialist wants to make sure all of their fellow citizens are 'cared for' by the state, and at most, they want to institute a system under which everyone receives equal pay - regardless of what kind of work they do. But in either case, they feel that centralized control of the economy by some sort of national government is the best way to supervise this redistribution. Under such a system, every able-bodied person would have a job and those who couldn't work (elderly, disabled, etc) would be cared for by the state.

State-Capitalism:

A capitalist system which is heavily influenced by the State. This differs from traditional 'Free-Market Capitalism' in that the State is permitted to enact trade-barriers, give tax-breaks to certain companies, regulate industries, 'bail-out' companies and investors that run into financial trouble, and engage in huge government expenditures in the private sector -- In short, the current American system. (although the American system also has many State-Socialist elements as well)

Terrorist Attack:

Implied: When an evil group ruthlessly attacks peaceful citizens for no reason whatsoever.

Actual: When we upset a group so much, they fight back as best they can against superior forces.

The Founders:

(unword) replaces Founding Fathers. We wouldn't want to exclude all those great female generals, deceleration and constitution signers of 18th century America would we?

Tolerance:

(old) When a society permits a person to live his life as he sees fit, without fear of persecution.

(new) Forcing others to admit that your way of life is just great, and persecuting them if they believe differently.

Torture:

Hard Interrogation committed by enemies of the U.S. and Allies. (see: Hard Interrogation)

Undocumented Immigrants:

(unword) replaces Illegal Aliens. Illegal Aliens implies that these people are a bunch of law-breaking creatures from outer space, while Undocumented Immigrants suggests that they are good old-fashioned immigrants that simply have not gotten around to going through the hassle of being documented yet.

Unhealthy Lifestyle:

Actions which will someday be illegal.

Unnatural Event caused by man's destruction of the environment:

(unword) replaces Natural Disaster. Every hurricane, mudslide, and flood should be blamed on Global Warming, even though these events have been cyclically occurring for millions of years.

Vegetarianism:

The practice of only killing and devouring living things that can't scream or fight back and feeling morally superior because of it.

War on Drugs:

An excuse to illegally turn our police force into an Army.

War on Terrorism:

Eliminating anybody that dares to fight against our supremacy wile eroding constitutional protections at the same time.

War on anything:

An excuse to squash civil rights in order to rid the world of whatever the government wants.

Welfare:

3rd party theft. Welfare is the act of stealing form the workers to feed the lazy and uneducated under the guise of feeding the crippled and the old. This practice is most common in State-Socialist systems.

Wetland:

(unword) replaces Swamp. Swamps are full of bugs, disease and poisonous plants. If one yells SAVE THE SWAMPS, people would think they were out of their frelling mind!

White Trash:

(unword) replaces White Trash. Losers of European descent. Its usage is terribly prevalent, tho its African counterpart has nearly been stomped out of usage except by those it derogated.

World Community:

(mislead) really means Us and our "Friendly Nations" control everything and we are going to make life very ninini RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED OR DIE!

World Peace:

Single world government (see: World Community)

[phee]

Heh... where did this come from sir?

[Vater Araignee]

Heh... where did this come from sir?

The political ideologies are plagiarized multiple sources or adapted by me to reduce them to their most basic structure.

Some of the doublespeak comes from simply cutting through the bull shit over time.

Some of the the unwords are plagiarized some come from an attempt at adding eloquence to what family and friends have pointed out.

Old vs new definitions come from having know the real definitions or from becoming surprised that I didn't know the definitions. IE I GOT SCHOOLED.

Vegetarianism specifically came out of an attempt at making a joke but then I realized that it is so true that it is ludicrous not funny.

Orwell

All in all about 25% is directly mine, maybe 30% edited or adapted by me and the rest is borrowed, stolen or plagiarized from to many sources to cite.

I also hid an agenda in it. Can you figure out what political ideology this has a slight bias towards?

[candyman]

Anti-Smoking Religion:

Belief that nobody would ever die if they succeed in banning tobacco. They seem to believe that people will live forever if they don't smoke. But in all actuality, a smoker's life expectancy is only diminished by about 6% ... and even that cannot be attributed entirely to smoking. This is because smokers generally not health conscience people to begin with. If they were, they probably wouldn't be smoking in the first place. (You don't see too many smokers hanging around the gym or at health food stores.)

It is also a belief that tobacco related illnesses cost the government money. In reality, it generates billions of dollars in tax revenues while at the same time saving billions of dollars in Social Security and Medicaid payments by killing smokers off early. It is much cheaper to pay for a 65-year-old's cancer treatment, than to pay for his prescriptions & social security for 6 more years, then still have to pay for his cancer treatment - or even worse - his Alzheimer's treatment.

Hey now...there is always a large group of us smokers next to the PT field right before PT where we exercise our asses off...doesn't that count?

[Vater Araignee]

Hey now...there is always a large group of us smokers next to the PT field right before PT where we exercise our asses off...doesn't that count?

It is required, correct?

I don't count either.

Survivalist.

Geocacher.

Hiker that adds lead to gear on training hikes.

Considers less then 15 miles a walk.

Avoids high fructose corn syrup like a plague.

Only consumes MSG from "more natural" forms like yeast and seaweed extracts.

Roughly 25% of my seasonal diet comes from the wild.

Smokes 1 1/2 packs a day.

[candyman]

It is required, correct?

I don't count either.

Survivalist.

Geocacher.

Hiker that adds lead to gear on training hikes.

Considers less then 15 miles a walk.

Avoids high fructose corn syrup like a plague.

Only consumes MSG from "more natural" forms like yeast and seaweed extracts.

Roughly 25% of my seasonal diet comes from the wild.

Smokes 1 1/2 packs a day.

Yeah...it is required but we work out on our own too otherwise our scores on the PT tests would be nothing but average. And most of us try to stay health conscious however our schedule really doesn't help and neither do MRE's...

[Vater Araignee]

Yeah...it is required but we work out on our own too otherwise our scores on the PT tests would be nothing but average. And most of us try to stay health conscious however our schedule really doesn't help and neither do MRE's...

Ah MRE's, Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.

Man, I got the four fingers of death. FLOAT CHECK! Alpha Mike Foxtrot!

OK I gotta stop or I'll get carried away and risk offending someone after they decide to translate.

Any way I use to love MCI's mmmm baboon ass and granny snot.

Pissed my old man off because my love for the M-1's where what got me smoking. The fellas of 156 SigBat hated the M-1's so there was a persinv surplus and he didn't realize that they where old enough to still have butts in them. Been smoking 26 years now thanks to Uncle Sam.

~~~edit to add~~~

joking about blaming. I had to put the smoke to my lips, light it and persist till addicted.

Edited March 31, 2011 by Vater Araignee

[candyman]

Ah MRE's, Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.

Man, I got the four fingers of death. FLOAT CHECK! Alpha Mike Foxtrot!

OK I gotta stop or I'll get carried away and risk offending someone after they decide to translate.

Any way I use to love MCI's mmmm baboon ass and granny snot.

Pissed my old man off because my love for the M-1's where what got me smoking. The fellas of 156 SigBat hated the M-1's so there was a persinv surplus and he didn't realize that they where old enough to still have butts in them. Been smoking 26 years now thanks to Uncle Sam.

~~~edit to add~~~

joking about blaming. I had to put the smoke to my lips, light it and persist till addicted.

They need to put cigarettes back into the stupid meals already...it is so degrading to be given a purple bag of Skittles when you are in full battle gear. Our forces can look so menacing to the enemy until they see us fiddle with candy at meals and perform ridiculous "stretches" that even Perez Hilton wouldn't do for fear of looking gay.

And if you want a trip...to the bathroom...try the new Buffalo Chicken Mre...glowing orange white shreds of something guaranteed to clean your colon without those pricey kits from health stores.

[Enishi]

Great list!

[Vater Araignee]

Unemployed:

old: Anyone who did not have a paying job.

new: Only those who are collecting Unemployment.

It is amazing, if your unenjoyment benefits run out then you mystically become employed.

So lets get rid of unemployment benefits so that everyone receives their job from nowhere and reduce the problem to zero.

[DiaperGrandpa]

Do you happen to be a fan of Ayn Rand?

[Vater Araignee]

Nope.

[candyman]

Rand is odd reading...some good points but also some areas where her mind seems a bit warped...but then again that goes for almost every political writer.

[Vater Araignee]

Rand is odd reading...some good points but also some areas where her mind seems a bit warped...but then again that goes for almost every political writer.

If I hadn't already developed a distaste for Objectivism before I even knew a word for it existed, conjoined with the fact that I see nothing but doom and gloom in unregulated capitalism then maybe I wouldn't have rejected her as a potential source.

I just can't believe that man as a whole is moral out of selfishness and we have evidence that laissez faire capitalism is destructive to the common good.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-capitalism, but we all know what can happen with monopolies and we all know that the fewer competitors there are the easier it is to price fix.

It seems to me that utopically she could have a point but in realistic practice Rand is guilty of doublethink.

[candyman]

If I hadn't already developed a distaste for Objectivism before I even knew a word for it existed, conjoined with the fact that I see nothing but doom and gloom in unregulated capitalism then maybe I wouldn't have rejected her as a potential source.

I just can't believe that man as a whole is moral out of selfishness and we have evidence that laissez faire capitalism is destructive to the common good.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-capitalism, but we all know what can happen with monopolies and we all know that the fewer competitors there are the easier it is to price fix.

It seems to me that utopically she could have a point but in realistic practice Rand is guilty of doublethink.

But almost every writer...actually all of them...like that are thinking of utopia when they write. Every political or economic theory would work in a utopia but this is real life with real humans...so you just gotta pick out the good bits and piece something together. I see it as them giving the raw material, like iron ore, and we have to refine it.

[darknight1]

Rand is odd reading...some good points but also some areas where her mind seems a bit warped...but then again that goes for almost every political writer.

I don't get the obsession with Ayn Rand. Rand comes across as a nutjob who's way off track. Is there anybody better than Rand that someone can point me towards? And please, for the conspiracy nuts here...no Alex Jones. Please.

[Vater Araignee]

I don't get the obsession with Ayn Rand. Rand comes across as a nutjob who's way off track. Is there anybody better than Rand that someone can point me towards? And please, for the conspiracy nuts here...no Alex Jones. Please.

You ask to be pointed towards another sociopolitical philosopher and then throw in the name of a reporter you don't want to be pointed too.

I have to ask...

What the fucks up with that?

Define conspiracy nut.

Never mind, I'll do it in newspeak.

Conspiracy Nut:

old: A person, who without a shred of evidence believes there is a conspiracy.

new: Anybody the government and media tells you is one regardless of how much evidence that person has.

I'm just saying, don't be a glen beckerwood parrot. You think Alex Jones is full of it then prove it.

I'll give you one big one to try to debunk.

Obvious violations of United States Code Title 18, section 1385.

In the face of overwhelming evidence that it is being violated are you capable of debunking it?

Lets go with something simpler.

Fourth Amendment: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Go ahead, prove that something that is being violated en masse actually isn't being violated at all.

Hey lets go even simpler than that, I mean free speech and all that what not.

First Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The creation of "Free Speech Zones" and breaking up "Peaceful Protests" isn't a violation right?

That man has more reverence for the Constitution than the Beast that says its "Just a piece of paper" and tells you "Not to listen to the conspiracy nuts" and a better understanding of how it is suppose to be used than the Monster claiming it is "It is a flawed document" based on past violates action and tells you "Not to listen to the conspiracy nuts".

Does Alex Jones have some far out theories? You betcha!

Does this invalidate most of what he is pointing out? NOPE!

Just like the rest of the reporters and pundits you have to wade through the bull shit to get to the good stuff, but unlike like them it is there in droves.

Now Immanuel Kant has some interesting views and as far as utopias are concerned, no one has come up with a better way of establishing how to figure out if something is.

Try out "Critique of Practical Reason" and "Critique of Pure Reason".

Edited April 5, 2011 by Vater Araignee

[Vater Araignee]

And now we have those newspeak bastards trying to make socialist a forbidden word.

[Vater Araignee]

Cover Up:

Old: Proof that something illegal or something the majority of the population would be against has happened.

New: Something that can be used to discredit someone as a conspiracy theorist (treated as a synonym for conspiracy nut) for pointing out.

[Vater Araignee]

Feminist:

(old) A group of women the demanded gender equality.

(New) KILL ALL MEN!!!

 

 

 

I AM MAN HEAR ME... get chastised for being one.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 1/15/2016 at 3:13 AM, Vater Araignee said:

Feminist:

(old) A group of women the demanded gender equality.

(New) KILL ALL MEN!!!

 

 

 

I AM MAN HEAR ME... get chastised for being one.

lol.   You said it not me.   Sad part is  "I am man..."  is generally considered chauvinist, "I am woman" just sounds daring/strong.  Sad state of affairs. 

 

And... hey good to see ya! 

[Vater Araignee]

well I have decided that I am going to make my dictionary into a YouTube series.

Feel free to add word recommendations, I will credit chosen submissions.

[kat (1)]

I admire the raw honesty. If more people were real and to the point I feel like things would be much easier.

[Vater Araignee]

On 3/1/2016 at 8:15 AM, kat said:

I admire the raw honesty. If more people were real and to the point I feel like things would be much easier.

Thank you.

 

 

 

Some People Say:

A phrase use by gossip mills and media to...

1. Lie without having to provide proof.
2. Leave plausible deniability that it is personal opinion.
3. Make minority opinion appear larger.

[Scary Guy]

Redpill:

Then: "Nothing is real and we're living in a machine world.  Woah."

Now: "Women are Feminazi scum"

 

Egalitarianism:

Then: "All people are equal and should be treated as such with the same rights and respect as you'd give anyone else."

Now: "Did I fucking stutter?"