Who Else Is Childfree Here?

[Nate Kriepp]

Ach! Sometimes it just happens to you. I was the last person that I'd ever suspect would have kids. I've learned that I do like kids.

No more for me though. As soon as the kid goes off to college, or clown school or the army or what have you, I'm joining the f--kin' circus!

[phee]

Kids are selfish...................................

[FarrIL]

There are many perfectly good reasons to have them, there's many more reasons to not have them.

Environmental reasons, cost of living, health... all are serious factors that play in to having babies. it isnt just about not getting pregnant to stay "pretty", having a kid will wear the parent/s body down. Lack of sleep, feeding them before you feed yourself (sometimes not having the time to make food for yourself and relying on fast food, or none at all). Not only that but the amount of garbage accumulated while raising a child. And while I see the perk of reusing baby clothes if you have another, it'll suck if baby #2 is a different gender than baby #1.

I'm childfree because I cant afford it. That and the government has enough welfare babies to take care of, I'm pretty sure the health department is happy to give me birth control prescriptions (thank you, Planned Parenthood!) to ensure there's one less welfare baby.

Dont get me wrong, I love kids. I love being a goofball around them because it entertains them as much as me, but by not having a kid of my own, I realize it's harder for kids to annoy me. I can also tactfully tell a kid how to behave, or to settle down. (Promises of piggyback rides normally do the trick ~.^ ) That and if I had my own kid, every time I went to Tae Kwon Do and was asked to teach the kids, I'd find myself sighing in exasperation versus saying "Yes sir! Okay kids, if you're good, we'll do relays later!"

That and this world's fucked up enough as it is. Bringing something innocent onto this planet and ensuring you raise it well..... takes even more work.

I'd rather take the time to put myself first and ensure that I maintain good relationships with people around me.

[Destroit]

Both selfish and unselfish people choose to have and not to have babies.

Agreed, for both perceived selfish and unselfish reasons.

Agreed, for both perceived selfish and unselfish reasons.

[Destroit]

I have the utmost respect for people who realize kids are not for them and decide to make that choice.

As for me, I have kids, I love kids ... parenting isn't for everyone, but it is for me.

Then imo, you are clearly not insecure in your decision, which is great .

Then imo, you are clearly not insecure in your decision, which is great .

[Oh_My_Goth]

I encourage people to NOT breed all of the time... I think it's AWESOME y'all don't want minis :D

[TitsMcGee]

I'm a cats not kids kind of gal, and the cool auntie. Maybe someday I will have one, when I'm more stable in life and can take care of a child but that's not right now. Don't get me wrong, I love children, I just know that I can't take care of one right now, fuck I can't even take care of myself.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

no kids here.

never felt the need.

my sibs have the 6 best kids in the world.

[~Tszura~]

I've vacillated about this from my 20's up until last year. I come from a big family with everyone pushing the kid factor on me. I'm so old now, they don't waste their time anymore, though, lol. It really used to make me feel like crap, not having kids. I used to think it was my "duty" to have children, and pass on the family genes. I was only worried about that for my father's sake, though, and I have since realized that he doesn't care about that. Whew! lol I agree with Enishi. I'd rather pass on my spirit, and any teachings that I would have to offer the next generation.

Ten years ago, I probably would have loved to have had children with Nightgaunt. Money would still have to be factored in, but I would have had a lot more energy to actually raise a child. As it stands now, I don't feel like I have enough time to squeeze in the things that I want to do, much less what I would have/want to do for a child.

When we saw Concrete Blonde in concert a year ago, she sang "When I was a Fool," and it touched me to my core. I thought I was done having those transformative experiences by just listening to a song, but she gave me a wonderful gift by singing this that night:

"So I live in these days

But I still have my old ways

'cause the future,

somehow, has yet to arrive

And I see all around me the women on time

Kids and divorces and crisis in midlife

and do I surrender and give up my dream

for a brick in the wall and

a washing machine

grow up and get real

for a kid in their teens

who won't care what I've done

where I've been, what I've seen

And I wonder why I tear myself in two

over who to be, how to be and what to do

and I know you liked me better then

and I know you liked me

better when I was a fool"

This song set with me for days, made me cry, and laugh, and then rejoice. Just as I don't want others to feel guilty for having children, I was also tired of feeling guilty for not having them. It helped to free me. I am not a "woman on time," and I love myself for it! Creating life with someone you love is a wonderful thing, but for me, I think Nightgaunt and I will just have to work on some projects together, like writing a book, and taking care of our furry children, lol. I don't want children for many reason, most of which have already been stated. The human race needs a lot of work, and I honestly don't see us getting our shit together anytime soon. I'll leave this thought here, because this could spawn off a whole other topic about having the human race start completely over (yes please) XD

Holy crap. I think I'm done XD

[Enishi]

On a slightly more cynical note, I get irritated whenever I have to go into the labor and delivery department at the hospital. So many dumb asses having kids. @_O Idiocracy is coming true!!!

It's a good thing one of my intelligent cousins had a kid recently with her husband. That way at least some of the Enishi ubermensch family genes will get passed on...

Edited April 6, 2011 by Enishi

[TygerLili]

I think that really any choice that you can make as to whether to not to have children is selfish to some degree, but if your selfishness isn't harming anyone then I don't see what the problem is. The personal choices we make in our live are pretty much always selfish, anyway. If I choose not to have children I am not hurting anyone, and likewise, if my friend wants to have a child and has the money to provide for that child, and is willing to take the time to spend with that child and give him or her a proper upbringing, that's not hurting anyone, either. It's the people who have children who either know that they can't afford it on their own, or who hire someone else to be with their kids all the time so that they can go out and party and act like they're single and child-free who are malevolently selfish, and who bother me.

[Destroit]

I've been getting depressed because so many people are having kids and then boom...you don't see them anymore because their free-lives are over. Pest and I really need to scout out other people/couples that aren't planning to have kids to try to bond with, it's getting really depressing. And then I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when someone who got knocked up gets showered with praise and attention for having welfare kids, when NOBODY has ever given me a pat on the back or has told me "good job" for anything in my life (edit: Boshy has, but she's my mom so that doesn't really count), and I'm almost through with college, am in an amazingly stable relationship, and we OWN a house straight out. Yet people we know are plopping out welfare kids to go live in a van down by the river, and everyone acts like those people are deities who sacrificed so much. So yeah, I'm jealous and pissed off at the world. I hate the fact that I could build a fucking time machine and unless I'm standing there prettied-up with a baby in my arms, nobody would give a fuck.

*end emo babbling...*

I've been getting depressed because so many people are having kids and then boom...you don't see them anymore because their free-lives are over. Pest and I really need to scout out other people/couples that aren't planning to have kids to try to bond with, it's getting really depressing. And then I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when someone who got knocked up gets showered with praise and attention for having welfare kids, when NOBODY has ever given me a pat on the back or has told me "good job" for anything in my life (edit: Boshy has, but she's my mom so that doesn't really count), and I'm almost through with college, am in an amazingly stable relationship, and we OWN a house straight out. Yet people we know are plopping out welfare kids to go live in a van down by the river, and everyone acts like those people are deities who sacrificed so much. So yeah, I'm jealous and pissed off at the world. I hate the fact that I could build a fucking time machine and unless I'm standing there prettied-up with a baby in my arms, nobody would give a fuck.

*end emo babbling...*

Edited April 13, 2011 by Chernobyl

[Enishi]

I've been getting depressed because so many people are having kids and then boom...you don't see them anymore because their free-lives are over. Pest and I really need to scout out other people/couples that aren't planning to have kids to try to bond with, it's getting really depressing. And then I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when someone who got knocked up gets showered with praise and attention for having welfare kids, when NOBODY has ever given me a pat on the back or has told me "good job" for anything in my life (edit: Boshy has, but she's my mom so that doesn't really count), and I'm almost through with college, am in an amazingly stable relationship, and we OWN a house straight out. Yet people we know are plopping out welfare kids to go live in a van down by the river, and everyone acts like those people are deities who sacrificed so much. So yeah, I'm jealous and pissed off at the world. I hate the fact that I could build a fucking time machine and unless I'm standing there prettied-up with a baby in my arms, nobody would give a fuck.

*end emo babbling...*

Sometimes I feel the same way, but eh, what can ya do? I'm sure plenty of praise will come some day when we complete more writing and artwork.

I already have a VERY good memory of my best friend who now lives in California looking utterly shocked after reading the conclusion to a novel I wrote. Due to the way I had set up the plot, he never saw the big twist coming, hehe.

Honestly speaking, when I hear about people who went through divorces from hell, had their kids taken away from them, or can only see them once every 2 weeks, I'm quite glad I don't have anything like that creating added suffering in my life.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Chernobyl

[TygerLili]

I've been getting depressed because so many people are having kids and then boom...you don't see them anymore because their free-lives are over. Pest and I really need to scout out other people/couples that aren't planning to have kids to try to bond with, it's getting really depressing. And then I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when someone who got knocked up gets showered with praise and attention for having welfare kids, when NOBODY has ever given me a pat on the back or has told me "good job" for anything in my life (edit: Boshy has, but she's my mom so that doesn't really count), and I'm almost through with college, am in an amazingly stable relationship, and we OWN a house straight out. Yet people we know are plopping out welfare kids to go live in a van down by the river, and everyone acts like those people are deities who sacrificed so much. So yeah, I'm jealous and pissed off at the world. I hate the fact that I could build a fucking time machine and unless I'm standing there prettied-up with a baby in my arms, nobody would give a fuck.

*end emo babbling...*

I agree with you Cherny, and not just when it comes to having kids. I see lots of areas in life where people who made really stupid choices in the first place get tons of praise and get told constantly how strong they are when they are trying, sometimes not very seriously or successfully, to sort them out, when people who just made the right choices in the first place get nothing.

And no, I am not saying that having kids is a stupid choice for most people. But I definitely know a few people for whom it was.

[bean]

I've been getting depressed because so many people are having kids and then boom...you don't see them anymore because their free-lives are over. Pest and I really need to scout out other people/couples that aren't planning to have kids to try to bond with, it's getting really depressing. And then I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when someone who got knocked up gets showered with praise and attention for having welfare kids, when NOBODY has ever given me a pat on the back or has told me "good job" for anything in my life (edit: Boshy has, but she's my mom so that doesn't really count), and I'm almost through with college, am in an amazingly stable relationship, and we OWN a house straight out. Yet people we know are plopping out welfare kids to go live in a van down by the river, and everyone acts like those people are deities who sacrificed so much. So yeah, I'm jealous and pissed off at the world. I hate the fact that I could build a fucking time machine and unless I'm standing there prettied-up with a baby in my arms, nobody would give a fuck.

*end emo babbling...*

If it means anything, I think it's awesome that you've accomplished all of that. Especially at your age. A lot of people your age are not that together. I often forget how much younger you are than me because you are so mature and have your shit together

People shouldn't be praised for popping out units. They should be praised for raising them properly. There are so many horribly behaved children these days. When I was a kid, me and everyone I knew would have gotten our asses beaten for acting the way these little shits act nowadays. If I ever talked back to my parents or told them no, I would have been all done.

The eternal and I have talked about having a kid together in a few years, but I'm really not sure. I know I would be giving up some things that I really value, like sleep and being on my own schedule. I also need time alone and quiet every day, and that would be gone if we had a child. I kind of go a little crazy if I don't get time alone. I don't know. It's something that we will have to think very seriously about.

[Destroit]

If it means anything, I think it's awesome that you've accomplished all of that. Especially at your age. A lot of people your age are not that together. I often forget how much younger you are than me because you are so mature and have your shit together

People shouldn't be praised for popping out units. They should be praised for raising them properly. There are so many horribly behaved children these days. When I was a kid, me and everyone I knew would have gotten our asses beaten for acting the way these little shits act nowadays. If I ever talked back to my parents or told them no, I would have been all done.

The eternal and I have talked about having a kid together in a few years, but I'm really not sure. I know I would be giving up some things that I really value, like sleep and being on my own schedule. I also need time alone and quiet every day, and that would be gone if we had a child. I kind of go a little crazy if I don't get time alone. I don't know. It's something that we will have to think very seriously about.

You guys could just legally adopt me, because then you get to bypass all that jackass stuff kids do (for the most part, still working out some of it) and you won't have to worry about getting me through college.

You guys could just legally adopt me, because then you get to bypass all that jackass stuff kids do (for the most part, still working out some of it) and you won't have to worry about getting me through college.

[FarrIL]

^^^ Hahaha, cute.

That's something I was debating. I'm not all too hyped up to pop out one of my own, so if I really wanted a kid, I'd go into foster care or adopting. No baby years. No waking up every two hours to feed a crying infant, or changing diapers or buying baby carriers, etc. Again, there's plenty of kids already on this planet who dont have a good family, or any family for that matter. Rather than bring another one into this world, take care of one that's already here.

However, adoption isnt cheap, and you have to meet many requirements to be considered for fostering. You'd be under a microscope constantly.

And I hear you on that, Chernobyl. People who have kids seem to get more attention, rather than people who make wiser decisions. A coworker of mine is about to pop out her 5th kid... I say yikes but she admits it wasnt supposed to happen (she was on depo). She isnt wealthy by any means and yes, does rely on foodstamps and the like. But I've seen her with her kids... she does everything she can (and stresses herself out many a time because of it) to provide for those kids. She's a good mom. Albeit, I'm taking precautions to not end up in her shoes. She's someone I admire, but I dont want to be in the same position.

I'll stick to being childfree, working the hours I'm working and eventually snipping away at college credits for a certification. That'd be a lot harder if I had even one kid. No thanks.

[Destroit]

Thanks 'Nishi, bean and farril for the supporting words :. Helped get me out of my depresso-funk, just seems like everyone was making a big deal about getting cars in high school yesterday and now everyone's making a big deal about having kids. And I do feel left out of the loop because of it, but at least you all reassured me that the validity of my existence doesn't depend on what does/doesn't come out of my vag. We all know it's what goes in that counts .

Thanks 'Nishi, bean and farril for the supporting words :. Helped get me out of my depresso-funk, just seems like everyone was making a big deal about getting cars in high school yesterday and now everyone's making a big deal about having kids. And I do feel left out of the loop because of it, but at least you all reassured me that the validity of my existence doesn't depend on what does/doesn't come out of my vag. We all know it's what goes in that counts .

[Joey Deadcat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sjPgt5UNUc

[bean]

You guys could just legally adopt me, because then you get to bypass all that jackass stuff kids do (for the most part, still working out some of it) and you won't have to worry about getting me through college.

That would be pretty awesome. *ponders*

Thanks 'Nishi, bean and farril for the supporting words :. Helped get me out of my depresso-funk, just seems like everyone was making a big deal about getting cars in high school yesterday and now everyone's making a big deal about having kids. And I do feel left out of the loop because of it, but at least you all reassured me that the validity of my existence doesn't depend on what does/doesn't come out of my vag. We all know it's what goes in that counts .

The idea that someone's value is based on having kids is stupid. In general, getting preggo is not that hard (I know there are people that have trouble, but I'm saying in general), being pregnant and giving birth are unpleasant, but not praise worthy. Well, I don't know. Squeezing a watermelon out of a lemon sized hole voluntarily is...something. That would be like congratulating someone on owning a dog or something. I'm not impressed by child-having. It would be like being impressed that you got a haircut.

Accomplishing things, being intelligent, being a decent person. Those things deserve a pat on the back.

You know what Chernobyl, what goes in the vag DOES count.

Edited April 14, 2011 by bean

[Joey Deadcat]

And, to be honest, I cannot stand the sound of children - not just the whining, crying, and screeching. Their babbling, the things they say that half the adults find cute or funny...to me it's just all grating.

[Destroit]

And, to be honest, I cannot stand the sound of children - not just the whining, crying, and screeching. Their babbling, the things they say that half the adults find cute or funny...to me it's just all grating.

Babies crying makes me cringe something hard. I've always disliked children's laughter and voice because it is too high pitched in an annoying way. I've heard high-pitched voices that are somehow soothing...kids aren't usually among those. I've learned to get past that, realizing it's not their fault they sound annoying. I used to completely hate children, and now I feel sorry for them because I realize one day they are going to be old and die like the rest of us. I talk to them and teach them now, as much as is grates on me to do so. Annoying little things, but important, I'm still not having any though . NotheHELLway!

I especially hated the kids from the couple that used to live a few doors down. ALL DAY FUCKING SCREAMING. Their kids were so disrespectful, they were nasty-trashy people. A new family has moved in since then, Anne and her kids, and even though she has MORE kids than the previous couple, they don't make nearly as much noise because she actually taught her kids how to act (such a foreign concept to so many parents in this modern-age).

Babies crying makes me cringe something hard. I've always disliked children's laughter and voice because it is too high pitched in an annoying way. I've heard high-pitched voices that are somehow soothing...kids aren't usually among those. I've learned to get past that, realizing it's not their fault they sound annoying. I used to completely hate children, and now I feel sorry for them because I realize one day they are going to be old and die like the rest of us. I talk to them and teach them now, as much as is grates on me to do so. Annoying little things, but important, I'm still not having any though . NotheHELLway!

I especially hated the kids from the couple that used to live a few doors down. ALL DAY FUCKING SCREAMING. Their kids were so disrespectful, they were nasty-trashy people. A new family has moved in since then, Anne and her kids, and even though she has MORE kids than the previous couple, they don't make nearly as much noise because she actually taught her kids how to act (such a foreign concept to so many parents in this modern-age).

[Joey Deadcat]

Babies crying makes me cringe something hard. I've always disliked children's laughter and voice because it is too high pitched in an annoying way. I've heard high-pitched voices that are somehow soothing...kids aren't usually among those. I've learned to get past that, realizing it's not their fault they sound annoying. I used to completely hate children, and now I feel sorry for them because I realize one day they are going to be old and die like the rest of us. I talk to them and teach them now, as much as is grates on me to do so. Annoying little things, but important, I'm still not having any though . NotheHELLway!

I especially hated the kids from the couple that used to live a few doors down. ALL DAY FUCKING SCREAMING. Their kids were so disrespectful, they were nasty-trashy people. A new family has moved in since then, Anne and her kids, and even though she has MORE kids than the previous couple, they don't make nearly as much noise because she actually taught her kids how to act (such a foreign concept to so many parents in this modern-age).

Give me the meows and purrs of a cat any day.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Joey Deadcat

[~Tszura~]

I think I'm too sarcastic now to be a full-time parent, lol. My childs upbringing would be filled with comments from me like, "oh, yeah? Well, how'd that work out for ya?" and "any other great ideas you want to try out?" **shakes head** lol Shame on me!

The thought of having to take my child to things like school programs, and afterschool classes and the like also isn't something that I can see myself being overjoyed about at this point in my life. I work over a lot, and have other things going on. I like the freedom to be able to do what I need to do every day, and not just on the weekends. If my family lived near me, it may be a different story as they would be available to watch my little one when needed, but they're not, so that's another reason the option is out.

If I ever did walk down that road, because of how I am, I would probably raise a Lydia from Beetlejuice or Daria, which would be awesome, but I could also end up with someone over the edge that would just end up killing me or something. While I probably would deserve it if I pushed my kid that far, I just don't like those odds. Sitting here thinking about it, I could also end up with some ghastly creature that loved to listen to pop or country music alllll day, and that wanted to try out for cheerleading.....GAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

I think I'll stick with being the cool step-mom, and "auntie" for now, lol.

[phee]

I think I'm too sarcastic now to be a full-time parent, lol. My childs upbringing would be filled with comments from me like, "oh, yeah? Well, how'd that work out for ya?" and "any other great ideas you want to try out?" **shakes head** lol Shame on me!

Sounds like our household yes.