Afraid To Be Happy

[LadyKay]

Have you ever been afraid to be happy? It almost scares me when things start to go good in my life because I think that if I allow myself to become "too happy" something bad is going to happen. I am almost afraid to tell people" hey things are going good for me" because I am sure I will jinks something and it's all going to start falling apart. It just seems like bad things happen so much more often then good things. I wish I was not like this but I am.

[~Tszura~]

Bad things can always happen at any time. Don't let that fact rob you of enjoying the good times while they last. Fact is, even when things are at their lowest, things can always get worse. People have to watch, however, that they don't make them worse because of their fears.

I met two adult children recently who were controlled by their mother all of their lives, and are still being controlled by her even though she's sickly, and in a wheelchair. Its emotional control, and has cost them much throughout their lives. They are now both very physically sick, and they don't know why. I honestly believe this is an example of how emotional/mental pain and suffering can manifest itself into physical ailments.

While you can't just flick a "turn off" switch when it comes to fear, I guess my best advice right now would be to be conscious of your fears, acknowledge them, and then just keep striving to make your life better. And if you just can't stop thinking about all of the bad things that could happen, then you can try to pair those thoughts with the "what if's" of how you would deal with it, so as not to feel like you will be left "high and dry" if those things do happen.

[Joey Deadcat]

Happiness...pfft...give me contentment.

[TygerLili]

Bad things are happening all the time, to everyone. People who tend to be happy or content have just learned not to dwell on them, but to take them in stride, deal with them, and still try to enjoy the good things that happen to them. I am constantly reminding myself: No matter what happens, someone is always going to have it worse than me, and someone is always going to have it better than me.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

ride the wave while you're on it, LadyKay.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

There was a Nirvana lyric "I miss the comfort of being sad." which can be interpreted many ways. But , being "down" can become a habit, a comfort zone and most people feel uncomfortable and off-kilter when not in that comfort zone.

Any state, that your not used to can feel uncomfortable and give you that "waiting for the other shoe to fall" feeling. It sucks.

So when your happy you just figure it can't last. Which, it can't. Its a cliche' but its true that "life is change" or "everything changes". Learning how to manage change, in whatever direction (hopefully more up than down) is the hard part. Realizing that things WILL change and trying to manage things as t When I start to feel "better" or feel motivated, people see that and intperate it as "hes fine see??" then you almost feel obligated to, or assume something bad is going to happen since the happy positive state just can't last, and it can become self fulfilling, or self accelerating.

"Oh your afraid to be happy? Why are you so sad? If your so sad how come your not dead yet?" all sorts of bullshit assumptions people make about you and your intentions (or lack of) get in the way and then we start over thinking everything and everyone.Then theres the oh-so-fun problem of your social circle sometimes hinting that your just sort of "doing it to yourself" or even worse yet "faking it" or just trying to get attention by "being sad" which, just makes it even worse.

Its a roller coaster ride, only manageable, not "fixable" as permanence is an illusion that we need to not try to hold onto or it just sets us up for disappointment.

[torn asunder]

"life is suffering, tee hee... ha ha."

- toad the wet sprocket

[BloodCupcake]

I'm like this sometimes but ever since I met my boyfriend I've been a LOT happier. I do that sometimes but I guess u gotta change the stuff you can and let go of the stuff you can't change. And always remember there's ALWAYS someone worse off than you. It could always be worse.