Self confidence

[EAF (1)]

What things influence how you base your self confidence? Is it inner motivation? Outer achievements? The opinions of others?

Some recent discussions with a friend got me thinking about this. I think sometimes it is taken for granted how many factors go into how we see ourselves. How I see myself and how I expect others might see me are two different things in my view. I was wondering how others see themselves and for what reasons? What factors play into this?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I think we'd like to say we only base it on our own opinion, and everyone else be damned. In reality its a mixture of our own opinion shaped by the opinions / input of others both in our past and currently sliding up and down the scale of what has the most weight. Takes a lot more balls to admit that than it does to thump ones chest and say "I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" (please, pfft.)

At the moment I'm deep into basing on the opinions of others which is a piss-poor system, when your not at a high level of functioning. It worked great (even though it was still a crappy system) back 10 years ago when I had a good job, was super-outgoing and had a ton of friends (ones that actually, you know, hang out with you). When you don't have that kind of positive re-enforcement, and are hiding out in the cave a lot, then the systems flaws show up. Even knowing that I still (unconsciously) use it but am working on getting rid of it.

I read once that its "not smart to base your self esteem on the opinions of others nor your own opinion." which seeems like nonsense, as whats left? But the point there was that we might be surrounded by negative people and also be negative ourselves, so both sources are going to make is have low self esteeme and we should just pull out a positive opinion of ourselves from the air... nice trick. hah.

[phee]

I have tried very hard to get rid of the perception of self confidence or lack thereof... I kind of figure if I get up in the morning, get done what I need to... and don't have anyone I care about feel let down by me (too much) then I am doing okay.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I think you almost have to have self confidence on a philsophical level by fiat that is , out of thin air in a sense. Becasue if you base it on anything tangleable, and that thing crumbles, your cooked. If you just declare to yourself, indpendant of any critera that you "can do" then your there. Good luck on that though, our whole psychological evolution going back to the fishes is based on "conditional" things, be that food, social approval, wealth, self-image based on XYZ critera. So to be "selfflessly self confident" (hah) would be a herculean task indeed.

My self confidence before my car accident was based heavily and what I could contribute to society (without me realizing it) on the opinions of others, well when you have a good job, are very outgoing, never get sick, make good money, have a lot of friends and can "fix" problems easily be they physical or social and have a lot of energy, the opinions all tend to be good.

When I was working for instance a buddy of mine that I've been friends with since childhood was really sad, figured i'd cheer him up and buy him a PS2... poof no problem, was almost an inconsiquental amount of money.

Later, my GF was having trouble with her car payments... no problem, I paid them for 9 months.

At work a lot of crazy stuff would happen, no problem, I didnt get all that stressed out about it, was very productive.

Now, when I need help? Its a combination of feeling like a jackass, and better yet, when I can bring myself to accept help form someone, being basically called a douche bag for it.

After the car accident, I get sick all the damn time, and am basically a leech on society's social institutions, which is an endless source of depression for me. Despite me knowing that I should try to look at things differently. Do I think this makes me a "bad" person? No. But it doesn't do much good for one's self confidence.

Only way really to do it seems to be the way i started out with at the begining, but really, thats a hard, buddha-himself type thing to pull off.

[KatRN05]

I'll admit I have self-esteem/self-confidence issues. I used to be heavy and I think I used my extra weight as a security blanket to keep people away emotionally/physically (in an intimate way). Now that I've lost weight, I look better (kinda; this is where my body image/self-esteem issues come in) and I feel better physically. It's just really hard for me to feel better emotionally about me. I have a crush on this guy that I train with. He's nice, we talk often and train together. I have a crush on him, I just cannot bring myself to tell him how I feel. I just think "why would he want me?", I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not worth it.....see this is where my body image/self-esteem issues come in again....

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I'll admit I have self-esteem/self-confidence issues. I used to be heavy and I think I used my extra weight as a security blanket to keep people away emotionally/physically (in an intimate way). Now that I've lost weight, I look better (kinda; this is where my body image/self-esteem issues come in) and I feel better physically. It's just really hard for me to feel better emotionally about me. I have a crush on this guy that I train with. He's nice, we talk often and train together. I have a crush on him, I just cannot bring myself to tell him how I feel. I just think "why would he want me?", I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not worth it.....see this is where my body image/self-esteem issues come in again....

How close are you with him? If you just start spending extra-curricular time with him a lot of the time it just sort of "happens" without you having to declare anything per se.

Anyhow regardless you seem like a great girl. Your worth it. *random hugs*

[KatRN05]

How close are you with him? If you just start spending extra-curricular time with him a lot of the time it just sort of "happens" without you having to declare anything per se.

Anyhow regardless you seem like a great girl. Your worth it. *random hugs*

Aww thanks, Troy. We just really started talking a lot the last month and we've hung out but it was with other friends. You're right, it kind of does happen without having to declare anything. I'm just being hard on myself for no reason.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

This is probably going to get super long, and I'm sorry.

I think confidence is based not only on how I feel and see things, but the things that have happened to me. When I was in kindergarten I knew I was different. My brothers had spin magazines and I would think the girls looked hot. Being a 5 year old in a catholic school, that is looked down upon and you are looked at like a weirdo. I kept my mouth shut about it and I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to be like the popular girls. For some reason our popular girls ended up being the really smart ones and their families had tons of money. Odd considering one came here from Poland. But point is I always wanted to be like them. I never felt good enough. I was young, but I knew I felt defective. Over time I made my own little place with those people because we were going to school in Hamtramck. It's hard not to have a connection when everyone is down the street.

As I got older things started to change. I was never skinny. I've always been thick. My stomach was chubby. Now I no longer look chubby, but pregnant because my stomach got rounded out during and after my miscarrage when I was 16. But that comes later in our story. I hated being "fat." Flash forward to 7th or 8th grade and I gained some kind of confidence. I wore my black lipstick, racoon thick eye liner, and tripp pants everywhere. I put my middle finger up to the world. Then twice within the same month, two seperate groups of boys were biking past me and started calling me a fat, ugly, goth, bitch. I was hurt. They said I didn't deserve to live. My grandma had a stroke and my dad had quadruple heart bypass surgery. Both of them died a month apart. That broke me. I had to take care of my mom like I was her mom at 13. My teacher thought I was suicidal so she had me thrown into an institution. I went crazy. I lost any confidence I had in myself and I put on my big girl mask to take care of everything that needed to be handled.

I started reaching out for attention in a bad way over the internet sending pictures to guys I didn't even know. It was shameful, but I wanted anyone to tell me something positive. I wanted to feel wanted. I started eating a lot and going out to clubs that would let minors in. I felt like crap because my first bf raped me. I thought I was the lowest and ugliest piece of shit out there. I foolishly started cutting, smoking, and drinking to stop myself from crying. My second bf did drugs. I got involved with them. One day I told him I was glad looks didn't matter to him. He told me weight still mattered, he just stopped complaining about it. He would rape me and hit me which made me feel like the scum of the earth yet I couldn't leave. I thought I didn't deserve anything better. When I miscarried he left a few months later for a girl that had herpies. He told me he was glad our baby died because it would have been ugly like me. I cried and felt like I was nothing for two years. I got used by several people and thought that was all I deserved.

I've been with matt for a year and a half. I'm not saying it has been easy, but so far we are holding on to our relationship. He will tell me I'm beautiful, and I tell him he is lying. I don't see it. He will tell me he loves me and I don't understand why. He will tell me I deserve better and to have the world on a plate. I can't understand that. I know that I'm a good friend and I go above and beyond for other people. I know I do well in school, but a part of me feels dumb and useless. I can't see what other people see in me and I wish I could. I know I believe in mannors and treating other people properly. I still have problems with my weight and how I look. My brother even told me I should leave matt, get in shape, get a new wardrobe, and find a "normal" guy that will treat me right. I don't think that is fair. I think my perceptions of myself have been a combination of personal struggle, others words/ actions, and years of negativity surrounding me. If you meet me in public you wouldn't know any of this. I normally keep a lot of it inside or to my friends. I just wish I could see the positives others see in me. When I went to DGN night at city, I had been drinking a bit with my friend. I was surprised this came out of my mouth, but I told her on the dance floor, "for once I feel sexy and I feel like I belong somewhere." I haven't felt that way in a long time and I haven't felt that way since then. I know none of you really know me. I know I don't have the relationships with all of you like other people that have been on here for a long time. But I guess I'm trying to because all of you live relatively close to me, and guess I feel like I could fit in or be apart of this little family here.

[EAF (1)]

My personal self-esteem is a mix of things. I know I base it off of others, society to a degree, and my own personal achievements versus what I wish I had finished. However I do have a strong sense of self. Although I may not be confidant in times in being me, I do know who I am with no doubt. I also go in assuming people will see the worst in me...let me explain. By assuming others will think I am the ugliest, fattest, and dumbest, I feel no need to go above and beyond to prove myself to others. I was told I am creating a cause and effect by doing this. That by assuming no one will see the best in me that they don't. But I disagree since often when I assume the best in others and yet assume others will only see the worst in me, it both pushes me to put my best foot forward as well as make me feel at peace with my own self reasoning. I feel as if my decisions are more deliberate, more thought out, and more me. I feel I am a pessimist due to this...assuming that although I see the best in others that they will never reciprocate. But in truth most people will never realize the best within themselves let alone others. I see it more as a fact and thus feel it does not really affect me negatively. If this even makes any sense lol.

I guess by assuming the best in others it makes me feel everyone is worth trying to help and support. By assuming they only see the worst in me I never get hurt when indeed they only do, and get pleasantly surprised when they do find the best in me. However I have a good enough sense of self to know my limits both good and bad. I know when to draw the line look at myself and say, "I am who I am and that's okay." I just need to learn to love myself and not just be at peace or accept it.

I know this is a lot of flawed logic and maybe only makes sense to myself lol.

But that made sense what Troy said you have to pull it out of nowhere. I feel like sometimes when your at your lowest you have to just trick yourself into believing your better than what you may really think you are.

I also like what Phee said about not measuring your life by your self-esteem. I think this is important because life is made of so much more than any scale that we measure ourselves by. Sometimes focusing too much on the what if's takes away from the here and now.

Kat...The main thing I wanted to say to you was this. Try to decide for yourself, would you regret more for asking and being turned down or for not asking and not knowing? Honestly the unknown always bothers me. Granted for some crushes it took a lot longer to tell them than others. But overall I have only ever regretted not telling someone how I felt rather than having told them. At worst they turned me down, which I saw as better than what had happened a few times...which was I told them later only to find out they liked me too and it being too late. Not knowing has always been worse than the rejection. Although very few have ever panned out I still would rather tell others how I feel. Although the idea to not tell but just see what happens does not sound like a bad idea either. Especially since it is still very early in you guys getting to know one another.

Dead very nicely written of course. Also sometimes loving yourself will come secondary to knowing yourself. You have to know yourself to love yourself. Take time to just sit down and figure things out. Like you said you know your a good friend, a nice person, and an okay student. That's a good start. I have always been a bigger girl myself and until recently single. So I always felt like crap about myself. But after learning both the good and the bad about myself some I feel better grounded in how to react to things. I feel like our self-esteem needs to be based on just more than how we feel about ourselves, because let's be honest most people hate themselves at some point. So what makes us move past what we think of ourselves when we think badly?

Edited July 6, 2011 by EAF

[Troy Spiral (13)]

This is probably going to get super long, and I'm sorry.

I think confidence is based not only on how I feel and see things, but the things that have happened to me. When I was in kindergarten I knew I was different. My brothers had spin magazines and I would think the girls looked hot. Being a 5 year old in a catholic school, that is looked down upon and you are looked at like a weirdo. I kept my mouth shut about it and I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to be like the popular girls. For some reason our popular girls ended up being the really smart ones and their families had tons of money. Odd considering one came here from Poland. But point is I always wanted to be like them. I never felt good enough. I was young, but I knew I felt defective. Over time I made my own little place with those people because we were going to school in Hamtramck. It's hard not to have a connection when everyone is down the street.

As I got older things started to change. I was never skinny. I've always been thick. My stomach was chubby. Now I no longer look chubby, but pregnant because my stomach got rounded out during and after my miscarrage when I was 16. But that comes later in our story. I hated being "fat." Flash forward to 7th or 8th grade and I gained some kind of confidence. I wore my black lipstick, racoon thick eye liner, and tripp pants everywhere. I put my middle finger up to the world. Then twice within the same month, two seperate groups of boys were biking past me and started calling me a fat, ugly, goth, bitch. I was hurt. They said I didn't deserve to live. My grandma had a stroke and my dad had quadruple heart bypass surgery. Both of them died a month apart. That broke me. I had to take care of my mom like I was her mom at 13. My teacher thought I was suicidal so she had me thrown into an institution. I went crazy. I lost any confidence I had in myself and I put on my big girl mask to take care of everything that needed to be handled.

I started reaching out for attention in a bad way over the internet sending pictures to guys I didn't even know. It was shameful, but I wanted anyone to tell me something positive. I wanted to feel wanted. I started eating a lot and going out to clubs that would let minors in. I felt like crap because my first bf raped me. I thought I was the lowest and ugliest piece of shit out there. I foolishly started cutting, smoking, and drinking to stop myself from crying. My second bf did drugs. I got involved with them. One day I told him I was glad looks didn't matter to him. He told me weight still mattered, he just stopped complaining about it. He would rape me and hit me which made me feel like the scum of the earth yet I couldn't leave. I thought I didn't deserve anything better. When I miscarried he left a few months later for a girl that had herpies. He told me he was glad our baby died because it would have been ugly like me. I cried and felt like I was nothing for two years. I got used by several people and thought that was all I deserved.

I've been with matt for a year and a half. I'm not saying it has been easy, but so far we are holding on to our relationship. He will tell me I'm beautiful, and I tell him he is lying. I don't see it. He will tell me he loves me and I don't understand why. He will tell me I deserve better and to have the world on a plate. I can't understand that. I know that I'm a good friend and I go above and beyond for other people. I know I do well in school, but a part of me feels dumb and useless. I can't see what other people see in me and I wish I could. I know I believe in mannors and treating other people properly. I still have problems with my weight and how I look. My brother even told me I should leave matt, get in shape, get a new wardrobe, and find a "normal" guy that will treat me right. I don't think that is fair. I think my perceptions of myself have been a combination of personal struggle, others words/ actions, and years of negativity surrounding me. If you meet me in public you wouldn't know any of this. I normally keep a lot of it inside or to my friends. I just wish I could see the positives others see in me. When I went to DGN night at city, I had been drinking a bit with my friend. I was surprised this came out of my mouth, but I told her on the dance floor, "for once I feel sexy and I feel like I belong somewhere." I haven't felt that way in a long time and I haven't felt that way since then. I know none of you really know me. I know I don't have the relationships with all of you like other people that have been on here for a long time. But I guess I'm trying to because all of you live relatively close to me, and guess I feel like I could fit in or be apart of this little family here.

Long? Pishaw, thats like a start-length post for one of my long-ass posts that no one reads.... but I digress.

Glad you felt open enough to share that, I'm sure its not always easy.

I DID read that , fully. I can relate to most of it , although no one can 100% relate to someone else's life, as its their life, and to really "be there" we'd have to somehow live inside that person from birth. I was "the fat kid" up until just before high school, i'm not sure what happened but somehow (still "overweight" but no one seemed to be calling me names or looking down on me anymore, as i was not overweight enough for it to be obvious) but i still FELT like the fat kid. For years and years any time I'd get the remotest compliment it was hard to believe it or take it seriously (usually i'd shit on any compliments in one way or another).

Part of the problem is its a self-perpetuating thing. Being overweight really does tend to lower your energy/health which tends to also affect your mood, which in my case tends to make me more likely to eat more. Thats not even factoring in the huge social nonsense associated with it and all the advertising / images we see all day long. Plus the "special treatment" the "barbie" types get, and the bigger girls do not. (Yes really barbie you do get un-earned special treatment).

I've gotten over much of that, but its still there in the background, although now its about my constantly getting sick / being disabled in a way that is hard to "see" and people thinking negatively about me because of it. i still feel like crap a lot when negativity gets thrown my way (even if its self inflicted) and tend to downgrade any positive stuff. Although I've made a lot of headway on that, its still a rough road. (Plus the TBI doesnt help)

*positive vibes*

[Troy Spiral (13)]

My personal self-esteem is a mix of things. I know I base it off of others, society to a degree, and my own personal achievements versus what I wish I had finished. However I do have a strong sense of self. Although I may not be confidant in times in being me, I do know who I am with no doubt. I also go in assuming people will see the worst in me...let me explain. By assuming others will think I am the ugliest, fattest, and dumbest, I feel no need to go above and beyond to prove myself to others. I was told I am creating a cause and effect by doing this. That by assuming no one will see the best in me that they don't. But I disagree since often when I assume the best in others and yet assume others will only see the worst in me, it both pushes me to put my best foot forward as well as make me feel at peace with my own self reasoning. I feel as if my decisions are more deliberate, more thought out, and more me. I feel I am a pessimist due to this...assuming that although I see the best in others that they will never reciprocate. But in truth most people will never realize the best within themselves let alone others. I see it more as a fact and thus feel it does not really affect me negatively. If this even makes any sense lol.

I guess by assuming the best in others it makes me feel everyone is worth trying to help and support. By assuming they only see the worst in me I never get hurt when indeed they only do, and get pleasantly surprised when they do find the best in me. However I have a good enough sense of self to know my limits both good and bad. I know when to draw the line look at myself and say, "I am who I am and that's okay." I just need to learn to love myself and not just be at peace or accept it.

I know this is a lot of flawed logic and maybe only makes sense to myself lol.

But that made sense what Troy said you have to pull it out of nowhere. I feel like sometimes when your at your lowest you have to just trick yourself into believing your better than what you may really think you are.

I also like what Phee said about not measuring your life by your self-esteem. I think this is important because life is made of so much more than any scale that we measure ourselves by. Sometimes focusing too much on the what if's takes away from the here and now.

Kat...The main thing I wanted to say to you was this. Try to decide for yourself, would you regret more for asking and being turned down or for not asking and not knowing? Honestly the unknown always bothers me. Granted for some crushes it took a lot longer to tell them than others. But overall I have only ever regretted not telling someone how I felt rather than having told them. At worst they turned me down, which I saw as better than what had happened a few times...which was I told them later only to find out they liked me too and it being too late. Not knowing has always been worse than the rejection. Although very few have ever panned out I still would rather tell others how I feel. Although the idea to not tell but just see what happens does not sound like a bad idea either. Especially since it is still very early in you guys getting to know one another.

Dead very nicely written of course. Also sometimes loving yourself will come secondary to knowing yourself. You have to know yourself to love yourself. Take time to just sit down and figure things out. Like you said you know your a good friend, a nice person, and an okay student. That's a good start. I have always been a bigger girl myself and until recently single. So I always felt like crap about myself. But after learning both the good and the bad about myself some I feel better grounded in how to react to things. I feel like our self-esteem needs to be based on just more than how we feel about ourselves, because let's be honest most people hate themselves at some point. So what makes us move past what we think of ourselves when we think badly?

The hard part is that there is no "objective" way to do it, its all subjective human-made ideas/ideals without any "final word" on the subject to reference. Now that SHOULD I think make it easier for people, as they can set their own standards, rather than having to rely on outside standards, but unfortunately we don't do that.

Things like "we hold these truths to be self evident" (which aren't at all self-evident) is an example of just "deciding" what a good standard is, and then basing things around that, which I think is a good system. But, not a system that is "objective" since no such thing really exists. "Don't worry be happy!" sounds silly, but in essence that's what it is, just "doing it" Despite the fact that it usually takes a complex psychological system / time spent to get to that point for people that arent used to doing such things.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

Like I said, I just wish I could see what other people see. There are times if I feel cornered where I can sit there and tell people positives about myself. But I just need to be able to feel it instead of think it. There have been several times I would wish I had a magical butter knife that would just get rid of my tummy.

[Invictus]

The hard part is that there is no "objective" way to do it, its all subjective human-made ideas/ideals without any "final word" on the subject to reference. Now that SHOULD I think make it easier for people, as they can set their own standards, rather than having to rely on outside standards, but unfortunately we don't do that.

Things like "we hold these truths to be self evident" (which aren't at all self-evident) is an example of just "deciding" what a good standard is, and then basing things around that, which I think is a good system. But, not a system that is "objective" since no such thing really exists. "Don't worry be happy!" sounds silly, but in essence that's what it is, just "doing it" Despite the fact that it usually takes a complex psychological system / time spent to get to that point for people that arent used to doing such things.

Well, you summed that up far better than I was going to. "Doing it" is one of those things that looks so simple in retrospect, but when you're standing at the bottom of that metaphorical cliff face it seems insurmountable.

[EAF (1)]

I agree, I have never been one who can pretend other's don't influence me or to be able to actually not let them. We all have an impact on ourselves and one another whether we mean to or not. I was writing the other day and wrote something that rings truer than what I was thinking when I wrote it..."I am a pessimist who is hoping to be proven wrong." I don't have faith in humanity but I do have hope for it.

The same with my self-esteem I suppose...I do know who I am. I just need to learn to be happy with it good and bad. Because in truth I am who I am and I am stuck with me. Yeah, people can change but there are things we all have about ourselves that we know will not change or will be very hard to change.

[Class-Punk]

My self-confidence goes up and down. It goes nowhere as far down or consistently down as it was. In response to that more negative time, I adapted a kind of survivalist attitude, and at the same time I became more empathetic.

I see self-confidence as the same as self-love, and my view of that is complex. To me, there is objective love, and then there is a whole other form of love in subjectivity, that is subtle, impersonal, and limitless. This is felt in the body and in the environment simultaneously. Its impersonal as in it has nothing to do with personality or the emotions coming out of that. I sometimes forget it because its so subtle.

Edited July 7, 2011 by Coffeenated

[phee]

Others do effect me as far as self confidence goes... but it is very few people... it's not about the masses but about the few people whom I care about and what their perception of me is.

[jynxxxedangel]

One's self confidence shouldn't be based upon physical attributes---but so often, it is---especially amongst young people. We are all, as modern humans, conditioned to be shallow. Stop feeding that horrible, ugly monster of all monsters, and BE the person you truly are. The people who cannot accept this aren't worth your time, anyway. It may sound trite, but it is the end of the story....the Great, Grey, and Wise Grimalkin has spoken.

[GothicSilencer]

I base my self confidence on 2 factors.

1-What my friends say about me. If I don't consider you a friend, then I don't care what you say, but if I do, then it impacts me greatly.

2-And this kind of trumps #1. Booze. The proportion of Alchohol to Blood in my veins is directly proportionate to my current self esteem. Less booze, less happy. More booze, more happy, and I can ignore the hurtful, painful things my friends say about me.

[wormsinwombs]

self confidence what's that....ya I really need to work on mine. I have been a little better with my self confidence because people have been saying such nice things to me but I really need to work on it myself because that's the only real way to have it. Alcohol helps a lot with it too which again is only a temp fix.

[Enishi]

A big self confidence booster for me was the time several years ago when my friend started writing. I looked at his story, realized I could do better, and started writing as well. When he read the climax of that story he had a *omgwtfawesome* look on his face.

It was good for the time...but...the thing that bothers me about it (and by extension other things people base their confidence on) is that said positive experience was derived from feeling better than someone else at something. Essentially a game of winners vs losers. On a long term basis I thinks it's better to base your confidence on knowing you improved according to your own standards.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

I think I'm slowly starting to regain mine. I think it is because I'm trying to focus more on my life and what makes me happy. It is still hard with the whole matt thing, but I'm starting to be able to tell him to shove it. Not in those words yet. But I'm getting there. I think he is noticing it in me as well since he is backing off a little more and treating me better.

[bean]

I am constantly comparing myself to other people, which is really stupid at this point because I always fall short, so it's basically me making myself feel like shit every single day. I do not take compliments well. I say "thanks" because I know there is no point in arguing and I want the subject dropped anyway. It also depends on how my hair, face, or make-up looks that day, and if I feel that I am fit to go out into the world without turning people to stone. There have been times I've gotten ready to go out and decided that I was too ugly to leave the house. There are acceptable levels of ugly, and sometimes I reach unacceptable levels. Whine whine whine.

[Guest Megalicious]

No doubt- Midterm and Final scores, and in the end final grades. If you ever speak to a person that has taken any kind of class with me... I freak out over 98% or less - which just sucks.

I know I shouldn't, but I do. It's like some fucking spinal reflex within me.

I base not only my self confidence but my self worth on them.

Other things include my ability to grab a complex concept easily, knowing my shit to the T when stepping into an academic environment, what I am wearing, If I did or did not put on my Daisy that day (lol), what I happen to "feel" like, am I having a "bad" day?, and strange enough, what I did or did not dream about the previous night.

[FarrIL]

Self-confidence? Just dont take anybody's bullshit.

I have my times where I get super motivated to do something (currently, finding full-time work) and whomever I leave in the dust (a shitty part-time job, though done tactfully so) can eat it. When I've set my mind to something, there is no stopping me. If you try and hold me back, all you'll get is left behind.

If I've had a bad day, I just recluse and stay away from people at the first chance, so I can regather my bearings. Bad days make me feel weak.

If I've had a good day, all I try and do is carry it onward to the next day and the next and so on. Being able to do that helps build you up.

And again, letting peoples' bullshit just bounce off you. It takes work and there are days where it's a bit tougher than others but really, just turn the situation around. "Your life is miserable, mine is not. I'm not okay with you sharing your shit with me."

[Class-Punk]

Presence is ultimately what's kept me from seeing the inside of a mental institution. I tend to think if I hadn't had experiences with depression and anxiety I would be more prone to them now, and in relation, have less chance in helping someone going through them.