Why do your relationships end?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Excluding anything earlier than like age 20, not even remotely that same guy... hell im not even the same guy i was a year ago. Can learn a lot of if you are honest with yourself.

1. Odd sort of just slowly drifting apart, never had a huge fight, never had "the talk" about breaking up we just saw less and less of each other until one day we just stopped talking altogether. I still wonder how that happened really, I can't see that happening now.

2. She was so controled by her mother that whatever her mother said was like god had said it. Her mom loved me at first, but , I didn't (and still don't) have a degree (even though I've been accepted to various universities, and i really feel fairly well 'educated" and I actually LIKE adacmic subjects, like for fun. But anyway, apparently "your not dating anyone without a degree" was the bottom line, and that slowly became a huge sore spot. Even though at the time i was working on getting a degree apparently if your 25 and don't have a degree yet, your a dumbass and thus , undatable. (according to god/mother)

3. She was from germany and even though i cared about her a lot, she had to go back to germany and the only way to keep her here was to get married and we were not early to that level. Went and visited her in german and she came here once, and that was sort of the end of it.

4. Died in a car accident on her way to come visit me. Just as I was starting to think she might be "the one". Maybe the only one I really thought had a serious chance of working out. (except for one more recent one that never really got started due to my own stupidity)

5. Committed suicide. In our apartment , hug herself with my guitar strings, left me a hard to read note , apparently written with blood saying how I cared more about my art than i cared about her (not true, but I threw every scrap of artwork i could find away just the same). She was an amazing actress i had no CLUE how sad she was until near the end, and at that time I had no understanding of how to deal with such things. (come a long way since then, but lot of good it does me) One of the few things that make me want to get violent is people not taking suicide as a serious disease, its not just "they decided to do it" depression (real depression, not the "oh im sad") isn't something you can just wish away. =/

6. I valued looks far far too heavily... asinine on my part, especially since I've been trying to avoid, ugh... getting too upset recounting all this stuff, more I could talk about but its not worth geting upset for the 1000X time over.

Anyhow almost all of the situations I've learned something from, either that I need to be more observant, or lesss selfish or just plain stay single and not try to make things work that don't. Even just in the last year I've learned a lot so really a lot of this is moot. *shuts up before i get to upset*

Really wish we could just all be not so damned defensive and just say what is on our minds, assuming that we are all well meaning. Would save a lot of time , stress and heartache.

[jr.dark lord]

I've haven't been in a relationship(dating or sexual),in over 12 years,women don't want me 4 some reason or another.They love playing mind games w/me.I'm not a bad guy,I'm kind, concerate,a bit on the wild side.Have a good attidue,on life.I do have a dark kind of hummor.So I don't know why?Maybe i'm not good breeding materail.I do treat women w/respect though.Treat them like the goddess that they should be!I guess I don't meet all of their checks on their list.In my early 20's,I almost got engaged twice,but they just didn't work out.The first one,oh my,my,my,she was a big fat witchy,over dictoral women(that's saying it mildly). The second time was this one who i had gone out w/a couple of x's + I was friends with her for 4 years in high school.Then in the second year in collage we hooked up together.She had a kid,from a previous relationship.But the father ran off.After haning out in the collage student service area.We went out twice.The both of us were talking,about our x's,marriage.(x's of course.)To make a long story short,I was going to give her a necklace then,hopefully within a few months buy her the ring!AS for the first one we broke up on valentines day,because she didn't want 2 go out,and it runnied my evening.(reservations,limo,etc.)So we ended up in a big argument about it,and other times when she wanted to go out.But I had to work on those days,no compermise w/her.As for the second one,I callled her up just before new years eve.I had gotten this message that the line,was no longer in service.To this day i don't know where she went 2,no one does.After that I hit a dry spell,then in the late 90's-2001,1 nite stands.But now they completlly ignore me.OH WELL!!

[Etalimissa]

it ended because he got himself into such debt over a 13+ year custody battle. as soon as his ex wife had the kid she was out-of-the-gate cheating. she was out of the house w/in 6 months of giving birth (he kicked her out). so she was vindictive and vowed to make his life misserable and break him financially and she did. otherwise i usually don't have much luck since i am too sweet, shy, and innocent. i am a really shy, nerdy goth but nonetheless i AM a goth! men don't stick around since they say "you're really really really nice" (and that means, "you're too innocent for me"). sigh.................

[Etalimissa]

Excluding anything earlier than like age 20, not even remotely that same guy... hell im not even the same guy i was a year ago. Can learn a lot of if you are honest with yourself.

1. Odd sort of just slowly drifting apart, never had a huge fight, never had "the talk" about breaking up we just saw less and less of each other until one day we just stopped talking altogether. I still wonder how that happened really, I can't see that happening now.

2. She was so controled by her mother that whatever her mother said was like god had said it. Her mom loved me at first, but , I didn't (and still don't) have a degree (even though I've been accepted to various universities, and i really feel fairly well 'educated" and I actually LIKE adacmic subjects, like for fun. But anyway, apparently "your not dating anyone without a degree" was the bottom line, and that slowly became a huge sore spot. Even though at the time i was working on getting a degree apparently if your 25 and don't have a degree yet, your a dumbass and thus , undatable. (according to god/mother)

3. She was from germany and even though i cared about her a lot, she had to go back to germany and the only way to keep her here was to get married and we were not early to that level. Went and visited her in german and she came here once, and that was sort of the end of it.

4. Died in a car accident on her way to come visit me. Just as I was starting to think she might be "the one". Maybe the only one I really thought had a serious chance of working out. (except for one more recent one that never really got started due to my own stupidity)

5. Committed suicide. In our apartment , hug herself with my guitar strings, left me a hard to read note , apparently written with blood saying how I cared more about my art than i cared about her (not true, but I threw every scrap of artwork i could find away just the same). She was an amazing actress i had no CLUE how sad she was until near the end, and at that time I had no understanding of how to deal with such things. (come a long way since then, but lot of good it does me) One of the few things that make me want to get violent is people not taking suicide as a serious disease, its not just "they decided to do it" depression (real depression, not the "oh im sad") isn't something you can just wish away. =/

6. I valued looks far far too heavily... asinine on my part, especially since I've been trying to avoid, ugh... getting too upset recounting all this stuff, more I could talk about but its not worth geting upset for the 1000X time over.

Anyhow almost all of the situations I've learned something from, either that I need to be more observant, or lesss selfish or just plain stay single and not try to make things work that don't. Even just in the last year I've learned a lot so really a lot of this is moot. *shuts up before i get to upset*

Really wish we could just all be not so damned defensive and just say what is on our minds, assuming that we are all well meaning. Would save a lot of time , stress and heartache.

oh my goodness, Troy! you could sell your life story to a country singer! i don't like or listen to country music (but, yes, I did like Dwight and Garth before they hit it big) but you would have a hit here! i love a certain song since it reminds me of my life story but yours is something else, also.

[Slogo]

1. Had crazy ass foster parents who sent her very far away (still wonder how it would have turned out)

2. Hardcore Christianity and me do not mix

3. Was (in my opinion) not nearly mature enough for a relationship

4. Beautiful, intelligent, charming, great chemistry but with HUGE character flaws which were passed onto me for a time...died of an OD

5. Same person as 3... matured quite a bit but I think we both realized we were never going to have anything in common

[Troy Spiral (13)]

oh my goodness, Troy! you could sell your life story to a country singer! i don't like or listen to country music (but, yes, I did like Dwight and Garth before they hit it big) but you would have a hit here! i love a certain song since it reminds me of my life story but yours is something else, also.

I listen to old country / folk.

"She tore my heart out, threw it in a trash can.... and left me for the garbage mannnnnnn!" lol

[deadcoldgothgirl]

1) He started doing drugs and things were always long distance. It was doomed before it started.

2) We both went to the same school. He never wanted to spend time with me and we just went in different directions. He was also the first person to rape me.

3) I thought it was love at first sight. He was a bad boy to the core. I was hooked. My family and friends hated him. I tried drugs for the first time with him. It ended up sending me to the hospital and he didn't care. I ended up getting pregnant, and he wasn't there when I had to go to the hospital. I had a miscarrage and he cried but I was completely numb. I didn't realize at the time, but he was abusive to me. He would hit me and other things and say it was an accident. He ended up leaving me for his best friends gf that has herpies. I luckily didn't get anything but now he has a bastard child with her. He would always say how I was ugly, fat, and he was glad our kid died because it would have been ugly like me.

4) We were on and off for a long time. He would always leave for someone else that was "better" then me. I eventually told him to screw himself because I deserved to be treated better.

5) We are engaged. We are having a lot of problems. I love him to death. He has a lot of crap going on at the moment. He needs to treat me the way I deserve to be treated instead of an after thought. We will see what happens from here.

[Etalimissa]

I listen to old country / folk.

"She tore my heart out, threw it in a trash can.... and left me for the garbage mannnnnnn!" lol

and who do you envision singing this song? you know what? i was watching MTV believe it or not, when they had a special on Nashville. Jason and the Nashville scorchers were on and this new guy named Dwight Yoakham was on the show. i was hooked right away. i was not into country music but i did like Jason..... and Dwight's voice (nasally as it is) was just wonderful. i'm not into country per se. but i loved Garth before he hit it majorly big. his manager asked if i'd like to interview him (i used to write a few reviews or interviews for zines in the old days just for fun----mostly on industrial). then there was an Aussie named James Blundell. don't know if you like any of them. Garth impressed me one night when he had his dog with him (he had zero daughters at that time) and he was so sweet and with his plain jane wife. i gave him credit for marrying a plain woman (who he later left). James' wife was head injured in a fall from a horse. he stayed by her side. Dwight, well, love that nasally singing of his, and his music. as you know, he got his start in punk bars since the C &W ones didn't pay any attention to him. so....that's my extent of the country world. not much, bit some, eh? i have no idea who is who nowadays.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

generally I get dumped for someone prettier, more goth, skinnier, bigger boobs, insert inferiority complex here. but I think the real reason is they just can't handle how completely badass I am. It's hard being this awesome man.

that, and you're surrounded by idiots.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

and who do you envision singing this song? you know what? i was watching MTV believe it or not, when they had a special on Nashville. Jason and the Nashville scorchers were on and this new guy named Dwight Yoakham was on the show. i was hooked right away. i was not into country music but i did like Jason..... and Dwight's voice (nasally as it is) was just wonderful. i'm not into country per se. but i loved Garth before he hit it majorly big. his manager asked if i'd like to interview him (i used to write a few reviews or interviews for zines in the old days just for fun----mostly on industrial). then there was an Aussie named James Blundell. don't know if you like any of them. Garth impressed me one night when he had his dog with him (he had zero daughters at that time) and he was so sweet and with his plain jane wife. i gave him credit for marrying a plain woman (who he later left). James' wife was head injured in a fall from a horse. he stayed by her side. Dwight, well, love that nasally singing of his, and his music. as you know, he got his start in punk bars since the C &W ones didn't pay any attention to him. so....that's my extent of the country world. not much, bit some, eh? i have no idea who is who nowadays.

Merle Haggard (Proud to be an Okie from muskogee)

I try not to confuse the private lives of artists with the art.

...back on topic...

[torn asunder]

in all honesty, it's usually because we're not on the same page, even if we were at the start (and sometimes, that may not even be the case). people change - it is what it is. sometimes goals change enough that all the caring in the world won't make up for it, and then it's time to move on. i wish more people understood this. i don't think it's *destined* to happen, but i think it happens more often than not. it's really a challenge (or maybe luck?) to find someone who's life goals change similarly enough over time to coincide with yours for years/decades. that, of course, doesn't mean you can't/shouldn't be able to share and cherish the time you have together, and part ways if/when the time comes, amicably at least, good friends (hopefully) at most.

[victoriavengeance (1)]

that, and you're surrounded by idiots.

a metric fuckton of idiots. trust me. I'm aware.

[Eevee]

Well, lately it seems to be me over-thinking things.

That, and also people who don't express their interest in going deeper with a relationship until everything has changed and has become too complicated.

[phee]

Well, lately it seems to be me over-thinking things.

That, and also people who don't express their interest in going deeper with a relationship until everything has changed and has become too complicated.

I would think that lots of guys want to go deeper when it comes to you Y.T...... (Sorry you left yourself wide open for that one... and I just said wide open... *doh* )

[Eevee]

I would think that lots of guys want to go deeper when it comes to you Y.T...... (Sorry you left yourself wide open for that one... and I just said wide open... *doh* )

PFFT.

But in all seriousness, it seems that the guys I end up actually chasing after to date, aren't open to date me for one reason or another. Just my luck, I suppose.

[phee]

PFFT.

But in all seriousness, it seems that the guys I end up actually chasing after to date, aren't open to date me for one reason or another. Just my luck, I suppose.

You are not alone believe me.... in my teens/twenties.... a lot of the girls I knew were only interested in guys who were not interested in them... even though they had a small army of guys who would be willing to through their jackets in the puddle for them, they always seemed to only want the "puddle jacket guys" as "friends" and chase the one who was already in a relationship/gay/didn't give them the time of day.

[killyosaur]

They never begin.

Eh, join the club.

[Eevee]

Its not that they don't give me the time of day. Its just they aren't interested in dating at all or something along those lines.

[phee]

Its not that they don't give me the time of day. Its just they aren't interested in dating at all or something along those lines.

I guess that would be giving you the time of night.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

Another crap tastic thing that make things ruined is when they use you. The type of person that only comes around when they want something or are hoping to get something from you.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

You are not alone believe me.... in my teens/twenties.... a lot of the girls I knew were only interested in guys who were not interested in them... even though they had a small army of guys who would be willing to through their jackets in the puddle for them, they always seemed to only want the "puddle jacket guys" as "friends" and chase the one who was already in a relationship/gay/didn't give them the time of day.

lol QTF

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Another crap tastic thing that make things ruined is when they use you. The type of person that only comes around when they want something or are hoping to get something from you.

thats not really a relationship thats just... a to use a robot reference an R2 - D bag.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

^^It is a reason why relationships end though. It doesn't start out that way, but I've been through, and know several people that ended up happening in their relationship. It kills it.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

^^It is a reason why relationships end though. It doesn't start out that way, but I've been through, and know several people that ended up happening in their relationship. It kills it.

I guess I'm just super careful about getting into a relationship in the first place, so that never really happens... although that might be part of the problem I'm TOO careful.

[~Tszura~]

Another crap tastic thing that make things ruined is when they use you. The type of person that only comes around when they want something or are hoping to get something from you.

I love it when they're in complete denial about this, too. They can't see it, or don't want to see it, and justify their actions so smoothly. Different realities.