Why do your relationships end?

[Raev]

You are not alone believe me.... in my teens/twenties.... a lot of the girls I knew were only interested in guys who were not interested in them... even though they had a small army of guys who would be willing to through their jackets in the puddle for them, they always seemed to only want the "puddle jacket guys" as "friends" and chase the one who was already in a relationship/gay/didn't give them the time of day.

I think you just described every female I knew when I was a young man.

[phee]

I think you just described every female I knew when I was a young man.

Glad I was not alone... lol.

I mean if you think about it... what if employers hired the way that girls dated? The interview would be: "Yes Mr. Raev we have seen the application you turned in and your resume, and my goodness! you are more than qualified for the position we are hiring for. You appear to have all the right skill sets, attitude, and precisely the work ethic we were looking for, and you stand out among all of our candidates! But we decided to go with this less qualified guy with a severe drug habit and abusive qualities, our apologies... But we do reserve the right to call you up in tears, bitching about the candidate we DID hire for your moral support, describing how we wish we had hired someone with your qualifications, skills, and attitude.... but thank you for trying."

[deadcoldgothgirl]

I guess I'm just super careful about getting into a relationship in the first place, so that never really happens... although that might be part of the problem I'm TOO careful.

I love it when they're in complete denial about this, too. They can't see it, or don't want to see it, and justify their actions so smoothly. Different realities.

The problem is they never started out that way. At least for me they didn't. They always start super amazing, my famiy likes them, and so does all of my friends. They treated me like gold and then out of nowhere slowly start doing the switcheroo so you don't really notice it. This post was made out of anger and frustration. I told Matt I'm having a problem with how things are going. He has come to see me twice. Everytime he has talked to me it is because he wanted something or was hoping for something (Marterialistic mind you because appearantly I'm a fucking piggy bank). Yesterday he called and yelled at me saying he trusted me and tried to use a coupon I found online for his medicine but it didn't work so he had to use money he didn't have. He also asked me to pay and fix his car. I'm sorry but $45 is not going to fix your car and I tried to help you. I told him to go to the VA hospital because he could get what he needs for free. He didn't do that one either. I cried because he hung up on me. I hate this feeling. It's girly and stupid. "I love him and I don't want to leave even though he is being a dick. I hope he changes back."

[killyosaur]

The problem is they never started out that way. At least for me they didn't. They always start super amazing, my famiy likes them, and so does all of my friends. They treated me like gold and then out of nowhere slowly start doing the switcheroo so you don't really notice it. This post was made out of anger and frustration. I told Matt I'm having a problem with how things are going. He has come to see me twice. Everytime he has talked to me it is because he wanted something or was hoping for something (Marterialistic mind you because appearantly I'm a fucking piggy bank). Yesterday he called and yelled at me saying he trusted me and tried to use a coupon I found online for his medicine but it didn't work so he had to use money he didn't have. He also asked me to pay and fix his car. I'm sorry but $45 is not going to fix your car and I tried to help you. I told him to go to the VA hospital because he could get what he needs for free. He didn't do that one either. I cried because he hung up on me. I hate this feeling. It's girly and stupid. "I love him and I don't want to leave even though he is being a dick. I hope he changes back."

While I personally have never experienced anything similar, I have had several friends and know of at least one friend of a friend that have been in similar situations. Often it is one of those things where the guy, or in one case girl, seem amazing at first or the friend is really in love with the other person, but they turn out to not be what they expect, or they do things to the friend that proves them to be untrustworthy in some way. It always seems to be a pretty shitty situation overall.

[~Tszura~]

The problem is they never started out that way. At least for me they didn't. They always start super amazing, my famiy likes them, and so does all of my friends. They treated me like gold and then out of nowhere slowly start doing the switcheroo so you don't really notice it. This post was made out of anger and frustration. I told Matt I'm having a problem with how things are going. He has come to see me twice. Everytime he has talked to me it is because he wanted something or was hoping for something (Marterialistic mind you because appearantly I'm a fucking piggy bank). Yesterday he called and yelled at me saying he trusted me and tried to use a coupon I found online for his medicine but it didn't work so he had to use money he didn't have. He also asked me to pay and fix his car. I'm sorry but $45 is not going to fix your car and I tried to help you. I told him to go to the VA hospital because he could get what he needs for free. He didn't do that one either. I cried because he hung up on me. I hate this feeling. It's girly and stupid. "I love him and I don't want to leave even though he is being a dick. I hope he changes back."

He may not have started out like that, but he's like that now. You had a wonderful suggestion about going to the VA Hospital, but he didn't want to do it. It sounds like he just wants to play the victim, have you be his mommy, and wipe his butt. If he just wants your money, he may also have a drug problem. My first BF cried, and whined, and really emo'd it up for me to get him a new muffler. He made it sound like his life was going to end if he didn't get it fixed, so my dumb 20 year old ass gave him the $300 to supposedly get it fixed. When he came home, though, his muffler was just as loud. He lied to me, but I had no real way to prove it because I didn't know a thing about cars. When your heart breaks every day, after a while, you just have to move on and save yourself.

[taysteewonderbunny]

He may not have started out like that, but he's like that now. ...you just have to move on and save yourself.

May I add, CDGG, that I am really, really, truly and sincerely hoping that you do NOT marry this guy. You are unhappy now. If you marry him, you will just be unhappily married and, eventually, unhappily divorced. I DO think drugs are the problem and you are not the one who can fix that.

There. I said it. You are free to hate me.

Edited August 14, 2011 by taysteewonderbunny

[havoc]

#1 was batshit crazy in the head,but christ was she good in bed.

#2 wouldent put down the alcohol and was putting our 2 year old daughter in danger by passing out durring the day.very sad.I had to give up custody to her aunt and leave her.saddest day of my life...watching my 2 year old daughter leave. I believe i lost everything that was good in my life that day...my very heart went with that little girl and there it remains. im crying right now so i need to stop....

[havoc]

pics of my daughter

[havoc]

a better pic

[KatRN05]

Mine have to start first and so far, no such luck.

[~Tszura~]

May I add, CDGG, that I am really, really, truly and sincerely hoping that you do NOT marry this guy. You are unhappy now. If you marry him, you will just be unhappily married and, eventually, unhappily divorced. I DO think drugs are the problem and you are not the one who can fix that.

There. I said it. You are free to hate me.

+1

#1 was batshit crazy in the head,but christ was she good in bed.

#2 wouldent put down the alcohol and was putting our 2 year old daughter in danger by passing out durring the day.very sad.I had to give up custody to her aunt and leave her.saddest day of my life...watching my 2 year old daughter leave. I believe i lost everything that was good in my life that day...my very heart went with that little girl and there it remains. im crying right now so i need to stop....

I'm sorry Havoc. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to let someone go like that even if it was the best thing at the time. I hope that when she gets older, she will understand, and want to get to know you again.

[havoc]

+1

I'm sorry Havoc. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to let someone go like that even if it was the best thing at the time. I hope that when she gets older, she will understand, and want to get to know you again.

I hope you never have to know what is is like. and thus i pray everyday that she will find me when she is older.

[deadcoldgothgirl]

May I add, CDGG, that I am really, really, truly and sincerely hoping that you do NOT marry this guy. You are unhappy now. If you marry him, you will just be unhappily married and, eventually, unhappily divorced. I DO think drugs are the problem and you are not the one who can fix that.

There. I said it. You are free to hate me.

I can't hate you. You seem like way too nice of a person. I just want things to be better. I want to smile. I want things to be the way they were. Where is the pretty boy in tights on a horse in moments like this? I don't know what is going to happen. I haven't even heard from him since he hung up on me... Then again I've been busy and I haven't really been trying to get ahold of him. It hurts. But I've been lucky to keep occupied. I know I have to deal with it, but I'm scared of what that actually means in the long run.