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[DarkVampire]

A story I've been working on takes place in the post apocalypse about 50 years after the end of the world. A nuclear war happened in 1959, my world setting alters greatly after World War 2 compared to our reality. Now the year is 2012 and my anti-hero emerges to the surface world suffering amnesia on how she got there. She came from a city that was built below the ground before the war came. In order to find her home again she must travel to Apocalyptic City which has records of where the fallout cities are located. That is a brief description of my setting.

Here is a glimpse of the story. http://www.apocalypticcity.com/stories/s1/ This is part of chapter 1. It gives you the setting and the type of person the "hero" of the story is.

It's not just a journey to find a city, it's her journey to find herself and regain her humanity back from the people she meets and the encounters she goes through.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Interesting. *clicks*

[Class-Punk]

I have revised myself a lot, and I'm very critical to make as little mistakes as possible, so take my guidelines however you want.

'..now there are the dead skeletal remains of trunks and branches.'

'Dead skeletal remains' is making the same statement more than once, which is something to watch out for in writing. It would be better to use 'remains', 'skeletal remains', or 'dead remains'.

'Fifty years ago this was rural farmland in what used to be known as the state of Tennessee. Now it's a desolate wasteland.'

Its best to stay in one tense, preferably past tense. You could still use 'Now' it would just be 'Now it had become a desolate wasteland.'

'"I'm not about to walk away from this house, it will be dark soon and I need it for protection. It looks like the zombie will have to move out the hard way." Red made up her mind to take over the house by force.'

This is tricky, it sounds like you would rather have your character thinking. If so, there's different ways to do that, but quotes should be kept specific to talking. The above segment is also a double statement, you want to keep either the dialogue or the sentence afterwards, and then keep arrest of this paragraph.

Hope you found this helpful. Keep writing!

[DarkVampire]

I have revised myself a lot, and I'm very critical to make as little mistakes as possible, so take my guidelines however you want.

'..now there are the dead skeletal remains of trunks and branches.'

'Dead skeletal remains' is making the same statement more than once, which is something to watch out for in writing. It would be better to use 'remains', 'skeletal remains', or 'dead remains'.

'Fifty years ago this was rural farmland in what used to be known as the state of Tennessee. Now it's a desolate wasteland.'

Its best to stay in one tense, preferably past tense. You could still use 'Now' it would just be 'Now it had become a desolate wasteland.'

'"I'm not about to walk away from this house, it will be dark soon and I need it for protection. It looks like the zombie will have to move out the hard way." Red made up her mind to take over the house by force.'

This is tricky, it sounds like you would rather have your character thinking. If so, there's different ways to do that, but quotes should be kept specific to talking. The above segment is also a double statement, you want to keep either the dialogue or the sentence afterwards, and then keep arrest of this paragraph.

Hope you found this helpful. Keep writing!

I welcome nit picky people to find errors in grammar and logic. I can't very well get published if I write like a person who came from a hick school. And yes I came from a hick school.

The last one should be an inner thought not one that is spoken even in a whisper especially when you are in the presence of enemies. It was originally a whispered line. Better to keep it in her head. Thanks for the other nit picks as well. I'll change those.

[Class-Punk]

I welcome nit picky people to find errors in grammar and logic. I can't very well get published if I write like a person who came from a hick school. And yes I came from a hick school.

The last one should be an inner thought not one that is spoken even in a whisper especially when you are in the presence of enemies. It was originally a whispered line. Better to keep it in her head. Thanks for the other nit picks as well. I'll change those.

I happen to be a hick school dropout. No Problem.