My sad story

[nucur]

Hey, glad to have found this site and hopefully I will actually get out to meet some of you... My sad story is that my soulmate of the past 25 years recently passed on (November 9th 2011) due to a fucking aggressive and deadly sarcoma (cancer) that had metastasized to her brain. I still feel like shit and cry and get raving mad, pissed at the world, but am beginning the moving on thing as best I can. Why am I here? Well, I am 46, an older punk from the 80's who still cranks up the Cure, Siouxsie, Gary Numan, Skinny Puppy, NIN, all that good stuff that a lot of my 'friends' from that time had long since abandoned (fools that they are). I guess that the music and lifestyle has forever entwined with my soul and we will never part... my little voodoo dolly. I love being a darksider and enjoy finding new music and would really like to hang with like minded people (or vamps, ghouls, or the like)... oh yeah, Toni Halliday (Curve) is another fav of mine (currently filling my sound space as I write this).

So someone fucking send me an email or chat with me sometime (Yahoo chat name = ergoproxy13, email = nucur@me.com)...I'm so goddamn lonely. Will put up a photo soon, honest.

real name = John

[prick]

So sorry for you loss but welcome to the family.

[havoc]

awwww man that stinks! cant imagine the pain. welcome to the site hope to meet you soon.

[Destroit]

That's very terrible . At least you found the strength to try to move on and seek some sort of social stability, with that, welcome .

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Sorry to hear that, I know its horrible. I lost a best friend, two GFs and a dad to premature deaths, its really a hard pill. It's little comfort now but despite anecdotes to the contrary , time helps, eventually.

[Glory13666]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss:( Like Troy said, it does get easier with time. I find that in itself to be sad but one day you'll look back on the memories of your beloved and they will bring a smile to your face instead of the sorrow and rage they bring now. I'm so glad that you're reaching out to others to help you through this difficult time. I'd love to chat with you sometime. My yahoo name is the same as here.

[nucur]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and kind words... really means a lot to me. I look forward to hanging with you and losing myself in life once again. I feel compelled to tell a little story... the day after Patti died, I was trying to recover from a passed out drunken stupor (thanks in no small part to my bro), and hit random play on the itunes library. Out of over 6000 songs, the first tune out of the gate was 'Right Between the Eyes' by Garbage. I know that Patti did that for me... hit me like a spin kick to the gut. If you are not familiar, listen or at least check out the lyrics. That song is my mission statement, especially the 'stay alive my love' part. Peace brothers and sisters.... I will be out there soon. Thanks again for welcoming me into the fold. I really feel at home here. kiss, kiss