MAAAAAAAANNNNNNFFFFFFFASSSSSSST

[Destroit]

YOU PROBABLY KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW!

If you do not, this thread will give you a crash-course punch in your FACE, and enough excitement to compel you toward the biggest annual event this board sees! ENGAGE WARRIOR-SAVVY SURVIVAL SKILLS AND READ ON!!

The Brutal Legacy

In the first year of its incarnation, neither of Raven nor I has any idea what an epic event it would evolve into of the course of such a short time! MANFAST, essentially was a beer-fueled, meat-infused accident. The original goal had been to share a casual weekend in the woods to commemorate my birthday, a quiet venture to a campground none of us had ever been to in Brighton. The Friday night was fun and light, drinks were had by the fire, stories told, good times overall. We slept off our buzzes and when we awoke, the morning did not show signs of the storm which was to roll in. This was when the term "MANFAST" had been coined, as a silly inside joke which was then thrown around all weekend during our drunken stupor. A fellow DGNer, who had been the first person to make it up to our camp that morning, picked fun at the fact that we forgot a huge amount of our cooking supplies and so were reduced to only being able to make a huge pile of meat for breakfast. "What the fuck kind of breakfast is that?" he asks, and I can sense he is clearly trying to troll by the tone in his voice. "This isn't a fucking breakfast; this is a mother fucking MANFAST!" was my unexpected response. Nobody can troll me when I have a whole fucking pound of bacon...nobody.

Shortly after breakfast it began to pour. This is when the first miracles of MANFAST began to occur. Through divine powers, Japanese robotic technologies, and German engineering in tha haus, Raven was able to construct a fire out of water. Trees were used to knock down other trees to feed the flames. The First Church of Charlie Murphy was established and so we found Darkness. We witnessed a steak sodomize another steak. Chuck Norris was there with us in spirit; he sent us telepathic messages throughout the day. I'm pretty sure I tackled a bear and fucking raped it.

Sunday morning came too soon for us all, even though we were worn to the bone from being apart of more plotless, cheesy action sequences than a Michael Bay movie. It was from that point on we would hold the tradition year in and year out, on the weekend closest to the date that my birthday falls on. It was so, and it was in the second year that lines were required to be drawn and people had to get things straight: Who WAS the most brutal camper to attend that year? And thus...the need for a MANPION was born...

It was determined that whoever earned the title got to keep the title until the following year, simple as that. The prize itself is honor and pride, the manliest prizes of all, but since this IS modern America, and not even most men do things for the sake of just doing them anymore, the winner also receives various other prizes, complimentary MANFAST at my lot on Sunday morning, and gloating rights for the ENTIRE year.

And the legacy continues

Raven and I are proud to announce to you that this is YEAR NUMBER FIVE of the legacy, and every year MANFAST gets bigger, more creative, cut-throat, and entertaining for all! If you haven't joined us all yet...WTF ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Every year attendance rises by roughly ten people (consistently since year one), so this year we might hit the 50 and up mark!

And the question all of the "watchers" want to know..."But what if I am froo-froo girly, afraid to break a nail, or worried that I will tear my man/girl skirt?

Then you go, drink, have fun, be merry, and watch people be stupid in the sake of competition FOR you. It's not just a tournament, it's a full-on show for those watching. Just ask anyone who has gone and hasn't competed, you're not necessarily "missing out" at all, and a lot of the spectators even have a better time due to the fact that they're not running around all day in the hot sun, pulling off excruciating physical feats, while sweating out forty to fifty dollars worth of liquor, magically leaving the body like it was never even there. Sounds like a pretty legit deal either way to me!

Where?

The same place as it as always been at: Brighton State Recreation Area, on the group lot like last year. For those of you who have been to MANFAST at anytime in the last four years, you will be familiar with the area. For those who have not, when you register for MANFAST I will PM you a map and an "address" to Mapquest (note: I put "address" because the address is the campground clubhouse, NOT the actual campsite. The detailed map will lead you to the actual site. You can also ask park staff when you get there.)

When?

For those who don't pay attention, it's right in the subtitle for the thread: The weekend of July 13th, 14th and 15th. Most who are MANFAST enthusiasts are already aware of this, because you started asking me in December, so I have a feeling this paragraph is probably redundant. To be more specific, you're able to show up in the afternoon on Friday (I believe at 2-3pm but I will have to double check that) and you have to GTFO in the afternoon on Sunday. MANFAST is ALWAYS going to be the weekend closest to my birthday (July 12th). If it's on a Wednesday, we round up.

Pricing

Same deal as last year:

Adults: $12 per person (This is if you have a tent partner)

The sweetest, most well-behaved children in the world: $8

Terrible kids: However much it costs you to hire a sitter

Full-lot deal (Can fit four adults, or two adults and a family of children so long as you don't have a billion kids): $42

Kids cost less because it's already expensive to be a parent and it's even more costly to be a parent that does fun shit with their kids. Do take note of the "terrible kids" price . Anyone who is under 18 must be accompanied by an adult! I apologize to any DGNers who may be teenagers and not yet legal that want to attend, but it is too much liability for me for you to come without a responsible adult. And note that by the use of the word "responsible", that insinuates neither I nor Raven can vouch to watch you all weekend, so don't even bother to ask .

Oh, and since by buying one flat lot you're saving me a lot of hassle, I gift back some of that gratitude in the form in of a discount. If your scheduling is less of a pain in the dick to me, then I will be less of a drain on your wallet!

Parking Permit

The entire State of Michigan has gone through an overhaul on how they run parking permits for their parks and recreation areas. Anyone who has been into Secretary of State since last October may have noticed this. There is now what is called a "Recreation Passport" endorsement, available when you get your tabs renewed, which is covered by a $10 fee that you paid if you opted into the program. If you renewed your tabs since last October, 2010, and did NOT opt in for the Recreation Passport endorsement, it's a flat rate of $10 at the park. Having this sticker is not only $2 cheaper than parking before it was instated, but will get you into any other state park or recreation area in Michigan, good until your tabs expire again next year.

HOW TO SIGN UP!

Get a hold of me and get me exactly twelve USD (or however many lots/people you're paying for)! I take straight cash-money through us meeting up (if you live close), going to the same clubs/events, you coming to my house to visit because I get lonely, etc. I can also do geezer USPS mail if that's how you roll, PM me for my address, and if I don't think you're more of a dangerous person than people perceive myself to be, then I will gladly give it to you . The preferred method for you to send me cash is via PayPal, but if I only know you as something silly like "Darkkittenshittinbats", shoot me a PM after you send the funds and let me know that your IRL name is something dorky because your parents hate you, like Spencer or Gertrude. That way I know to look for your payment and which DGNer it belongs came from.

MY PAYPAL: Trenchcoatj@hotmail.com

You can bring guests but your guests must abide by all of the same rules, obviously. Guests cannot be MANTESTANTS. Your guest must be someone not banned from the event. We will always be able to accommodate families and/or 2-3 guests, large numbers of extra people will be contingent on space availability. As always, DGNers have priority over huge amounts of guests.

RULES YOU MUST OBEY, I'MNOTFUCKINGKIDDING,YOUGUYS!

1. Please don't be a loud asshole. We do have a group lot and, yes, that means more seclusion. Just because of this, however, does not give you the right to be Godzilla after-hours and keep everyone at camp DGN up. We are all adults here and if you're not an adult then you came with an adult, please act accordingly! Quiet hours for the park start at 9pm, we've been "loudish" in years' past up until 11 sometimes and have not been in trouble for it, but please don't push it.

2. If you can't handle your liquor - don't drink! This seems simple enough, but in past years we have had a problem with this with certain people. I will admit that the first year someone fed me rum and I was the one who got a little loud after-hours due to it. Now that I realize rum makes me hysterical, I stick to beer only. If I, or anyone else, have to break up fights (like the in the second year), tell people to be quiet a lot because they are being a loud drunk, or babysit you to make sure you don't drown in your own vomit: YOU ARE NEVER EVER COMING TO MANFAST AGAIN.

3. Obey park rules. When I pass out this year's version of the MANPHLET, the park rules will be in there so there is no questioning.

4. Friendly dogs are allowed but MUST be leashed at all times. This is park rules. My dogs are assholes and may or may not be in attendance this year. DON'T FEED ANYONE'S DOG CHICKEN BONES. Also was an incident previously .

5. Children must NEVER be left unattended. This is camping, if I have to babysit children I will be pissed. I enjoy children, don't get me wrong, I just don't enjoy being responsible for other people's. So you're not coming back if you off-load your kids with me and hit the beach. Also know that your child will most likely be exposed to drunk people spewing adult content out of their sloshed faces. Since I don't expect my guests to censor themselves (except in regards to rule number "6", see below), if you believe that your precious angel doesn't need to be exposed to that sort of thing, bringing them isn't advised. If your kid is old and mature enough, or you are awesome and don't believe that people saying fowl things and a few "fucks" around your kid is going to adversely scar their innocence (since we all end up figuring it out anyway at some point growing up), then they sound like a better bet of being brought along.

6. NAKED WALL OF BIRTHDAY TITS AND PENIS: YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Many of you remember the incident a few years back when one of my birthday gifts happened to be a gigantic eye-full of penis attached to people whose penis I never thought I would see, running right at my face. I was told there were uncovered boobs also, but I wouldn't know, got distracted by other things. I can't thank you enough. Sadly...I will have to ask you NOT to run around outside naked. If you have an overwhelming urge to throw off your clothing in a fit of liberty, and you're also attractive, PLEASE do NOT do it outside...come to our tent . I'm sure we can sort it all out. Kthnx.

7. Anyone attending must not be banned from the event or bring any guests that are banned from the event trying to sneak back in. I will ask for the identity of who you're bringing and how you know them, nothing incredibly extensive, but if you knowingly fake the name of someone who is banned to help get them in, they will be asked to leave and you will leave with them. I know who cannot be there and would recognize them on sight, so don't even try it. I bet the odds of this are slim to none, but you never know. If you have any doubt about whether someone you are looking to bring is banned, please contact me.

Those are my main rules. I may add more if they occur to me, but five years in those have always been sufficient. Basically I ask for common courtesy. I would like to leave a great impression on the park and other guests of the park. I am a strict believer of being able to have fun while not being an the obnoxious Jersey-Shore-jock-asshole type that pisses everyone off. If you don't share my philosophy, please stay home.

Carpooling and Equipment Share

Not everyone is an avid camper and if they are some people go camping with borrowed equipment. This also goes to say that there are a lot of people who would like to attend but to do not have transportation. If you fall into either of these categories and find yourself in need of either a tent or a ride, there are very friendly DGNers who would love to help you with such. Please PM me and let me know if you need something arranged. ALSO: If you want to donate a ride or let someone use extra equipment you may have lying around the house, PLEASE let me know. I will keep track of all the people who are willing to give and those who are in need and try to match them up, thus taking out work for you. If you are offering a ride, please let me know where you are coming from and how many your vehicle will sit besides your equipment and whoever else you're bringing (also, if you'd like gas money for it). If you're in need of a ride, let me know where you're coming from, extra people (if any), how much gas money you're volunteering (if any) and roughly how much baggage you're bringing.

Tent/Lot Pairing

Although the group area is a gigantic fucking field and the odds of any other adult groups reserving any space in it is slim to none, the park still breaks down reservations into lots that are two tents per lot and four total adults (or two adults and some children). I think it has to do with capacity issues. Same protocol as last year. If you have a pre-determined group of four, let me know who is in your group. If you are a single, double, or triple and are looking for more people to lot with, let me know this also and if you're willing to be co-ed or if you want to be gender exclusive.

Visitors

We always welcome DGNers who want to drop in for the afternoon, usually on Saturday, to get down on the festivities of the event and kick back a drink or two. Visitors are usually required to leave at around 10-11pm, although we have had stragglers stay later without the park saying anything. YOU CANNOT CRASH AT THE CAMP. I have had in the past where someone has shown up, someone else just happened to have space on their lot and in their tent, and that person paid me the admission on the spot. That is fully acceptable, but know that available space and someone to share it with you is available on chance. But if you do not pay and/or there is nowhere to put you, then you can't stay. PM me to let me know that you are thinking of dropping in, even if you are not confirming and it is just a possibility, and I will send you out a map, directions and our contact numbers about a week before the event.

MANPION FTW!

If you're looking to win this year's MANFAST:

*** You MUST be there the entire weekend. This means from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon.

*** It will go by individual this year, NOT by entire lot.

*** We will have pre-determined events. You do not have to be in EVERY event to win (but the more you're in it will probably increase your chances). This is so you do not feel as though you HAVE to be in every event...I do not want to tie down anyone's weekend with numerous events. We will be on a points system this year. You can win points OUTSIDE of the events also ensuring that people can win on creativity.

*** COSTUMES: IF YOU COME DRESSED AS SOMETHING MANLY SUCH AS CHUCK NORRIS, DANNY TREJO, MR. T, MEGATRON, A PIRATE, GODZILLA, NAZI ZOMBIES OR ANYTHING ELSE YOUR MIND CAN CONJURE UP THEN YOU GET MASSIVE MANPTS! You will get extra points for each costume.

*** You MUST be registered as a MANTESTANT, not a spectator. Come Friday (about an hour or so after arrival, you can change it upon arrival also) you will be EITHER a MANTESTANT or spectator. Up until then you may change this, after that point there will be no exceptions.

*** YOU MUST HAVE THE LIABILITY FORM SIGNED!

NOW FLOOD MY INBOX! GO GO! PEW PEW!

And thanks for everyone for being patient, I know we got the thread up and the ball rolling late this year, but Raven and I have (as many of you know) had a lot of shit happen this spring to say the least

[Destroit]

Standing Lot Roster

Last updated 1:48pm 7/4/2012

Fully paid for and confirmed:

(Reminder, your lot partner does not "matter" in that you will not need to have your tent right next to theirs upon arrival. It is only for the purpose in that there is a park code where you can only have four people (either two tents, or one large tent) or two adults and children to a reservation. If you are lotted up with someone and you don't know them or didn't "pick" them, don't freak out, you will not be parked next to them at the event. However, many of them I condense out of order, and it is because those people have expressed that there will most likely be people added to their reservation (visually easier for everyone if similar reservations, friends, guests, DGN mate requests, are grouped up). Also, if you are one single person with no guests, the maximum you may reserve is a double lot ($24). You may only reserve a full lot if you are at least three adults or two adults with children.*** (There is obviously no point to being two people reserving a full lot for "privacy" when you don't have to actually be parked next to any lot mates, that is the reasoning. I am technically saving you money, so thank me later )

Lot 1

Chernobyl (Overseer)

Raven (MANTESTANT)

Timata (MANTESTANT)

Achilles (MANTESTANT)

Lot 2

the eternal (MANTESTANT AGAIN, OH HELLZ NO, IT'S ONNNNNNN)

bean (Spectator)

Slogo (Judge) Needs tent-mate

SaGa (MANTESTANT) Needs tent-mate

Lot 3

KatRN05 (Spectator)

KatRN05 tenting solo

Black Jack (Judge) Needs tentmate with a tent

Reaper Needs tentmate

Lot 4

Garbeldena (Judge)

JuneFun (Spectator)

Robin (guest)

Shawn (guest)

Lot 5

Mystery DGNer (MANTESTANT)

Mystery DGNer's wife who is also on DGN (MANTESTANT)

Nienna

No Tent-mate

Lot 6

Royal Canadian (MANTESTANT)

Lady Royal Canadian

Prick (Spectator)

MzMeowMix (Spectator)

Lot 7

TitsMcGee Tent-Mate Needed (Spectating)

Nightgaunt (Spectating)

No Tent-Mate Needed

Lot 8

Deadyeti (MANTESTANT)

Lucifer (MANTESTANT)

Hunhee

No-Tent Mate

Lot 9

kat (Spectating) Tent-Mate Needed

Xilla Toxic (Undecided)

Spaces Available: 71

Actual number of people in attendance: 29

Edited July 10, 2012 by Chernobyl

[Destroit]

Damn, less than an hour and already two reservations .

Waiting for the tidal wave that this week will most likely bring!

Edited May 9, 2012 by Chernobyl

[Destroit]

Slogo: So excited that the moment upon hearing that he could register, jumps in his car and drives over here IMMEDIATELY . He knows it's a fucking emergency!

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Was just wondering about manfast, literally like 30 minutes ago, during one of my usual up at 3am not-sleeping funfests. Good to see this.

[Destroit]

Was just wondering about manfast, literally like 30 minutes ago, during one of my usual up at 3am not-sleeping funfests. Good to see this.

Feels good to post it, trust me! So much tragic stuff happening lately with my life, and I had the stress of worrying about this compounded onto it, so getting the ball rolling really feels like a weight being lifted off my chest.

All of the traditions are falling into place. We scouted out Black Jack last weekend, and he was found successfully (every year we have no idea where he is, so we have to do some mystical shit in order to be magically directed to where he is at when it is time). People are flooding the reservations, and we still have two whole months to get sloshed and become enlightened as to what the fuck we are doing this year.

Also relieved that this year we have a system in place that will allow the event to run more smoothly than it ever has before, taking pressure of both Raven and I, and also taking pressure off the judges (well, delegating pressure around so that no one person is immensely responsible for all of the duties).

[Slogo]

SERIOUSLY, FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T BEEN, IT'S AN EXPERIENCE LIKE NO OTHER.

[Nevar (5)]

[prick]

I do plan on making a reservation for myself and my lady, MissMeowMix aka Jessica as soon as I have the cash.

[Destroit]

I do plan on making a reservation for myself and my lady, MissMeowMix aka Jessica as soon as I have the cash.

Kk, cool shit, man, keep us updated! :

[junefun28]

Figure on seeing Money from me on Friday. I think I will be paying for a full camp site. Still not sure though.

Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

[junefun28]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, What do you want for your birthday this year?

Last year we got you a megaphone that you couldn't use at the camp site.

The year before there was the cake that turned you into an 87 year old woman.

This year I would like to do something for you that might work a bit better.

SOOO what'ch want?

[Destroit]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, What do you want for your birthday this year?

Last year we got you a megaphone that you couldn't use at the camp site.

The year before there was the cake that turned you into an 87 year old woman.

This year I would like to do something for you that might work a bit better.

SOOO what'ch want?

Erm...uhm, fuck, I dunno...Killian's?

I'm bad at this kind of stuff. I never want anything, but then when someone gives me anything I'm pretty happy, so it's quite open.

And we DO use the megaphone in our daily lives, so it's not for waste. We even used it to wake Tim up before so he didn't miss a WoW raid, and it scared him so bad that he couldn't get out of bed.

[torn asunder]

what's the final date to make a reservation?

[junefun28]

Erm...uhm, fuck, I dunno...Killian's?

I'm bad at this kind of stuff. I never want anything, but then when someone gives me anything I'm pretty happy, so it's quite open.

And we DO use the megaphone in our daily lives, so it's not for waste. We even used it to wake Tim up before so he didn't miss a WoW raid, and it scared him so bad that he couldn't get out of bed.

Got it! Something pink with lace!

Hehehe

Guess we will figure something out...

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Feels good to post it, trust me! So much tragic stuff happening lately with my life, and I had the stress of worrying about this compounded onto it, so getting the ball rolling really feels like a weight being lifted off my chest.

All of the traditions are falling into place. We scouted out Black Jack last weekend, and he was found successfully (every year we have no idea where he is, so we have to do some mystical shit in order to be magically directed to where he is at when it is time). People are flooding the reservations, and we still have two whole months to get sloshed and become enlightened as to what the fuck we are doing this year.

Also relieved that this year we have a system in place that will allow the event to run more smoothly than it ever has before, taking pressure of both Raven and I, and also taking pressure off the judges (well, delegating pressure around so that no one person is immensely responsible for all of the duties).

tragic stuff... grrr *squish*

black jack , hah , ran into him at CC (again) , he was real nice , i wasnt totally with it at that moment but i got his number and such.

Pressure off the judges? Damnit, i thought it was like whoever got the most booze or BJs to the judges first got the most favoritism (my secret plan to be the shadow judge might not be so great now)... this sounds suspiciously fair to me, god danmn it. *shifty eyes* lol

[slingerlandstyx]

ManFast came up in a conversation I had the other day.....and I might actually be able to go this year. Would be fun to reconnect with a lot of people I haven't seen in ages. It's all gonna come down to finances as we get closer.

[Destroit]

ManFast came up in a conversation I had the other day.....and I might actually be able to go this year. Would be fun to reconnect with a lot of people I haven't seen in ages. It's all gonna come down to finances as we get closer.

Pffft...it's $12 and you've got two months, you're fiiiiine.

[slingerlandstyx]

Well... Finances and work schedule, anyways. But it's more than likely.

[Destroit]

BUMMMMP!

Excite...be full of it!

[Destroit]

Aww man, long time DGNer, first time MANFAST-goer, SaGa has signed up for this year .

[Slogo]

I better see 900 MANFAST posts a day!

[havoc]

I want to volunteer to be the antimanfast..kinda like antimatter..im so far from being a man or being able to do manly things that I figure I can be antiman lol

[Destroit]

I want to volunteer to be the antimanfast..kinda like antimatter..im so far from being a man or being able to do manly things that I figure I can be antiman lol

Someone else came up with this idea about a year or two ago, but we said get yer own event .

BY THE WAY...gentle reminder for everyone who plans to go to SIGN THE FUCK UP!

[Slogo]

Days off... Approved... :-D